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I did a terrible thing

icecreamLast time at the supermarket, I bought some icecream.

I haven’t done that in more than 20 years.

I’m eating some now… lovely, wondrous chocolate chip icecream.

I feel so wicked.

It wasn’t just an icecream cone, it was a whole kilo pack (2.204lbs).

I have been in a bind about my future here in Brazil, so today I bit the bullet. It turns out that no-one’s really interested and it can wait until next week.

My passport arrived, right in the middle of my first beer of the day, They’ve changed, they’re prettier now. Considering that it is 20 years since my last was issued. But the trick is they’re only valid for five years now and the cost has doubled; that’s a 400% increase. Being a Kiwi is expensive business.

I haven’t had a Nap-fu practice today, and it is telling on me.

We got rain this afternoon. I had just closed the padlock on the gate, and it began, but the time I got to the botequim for shelter, I was soaked. Remember that’s a whole 11 metres (yards, near enough), so it gives you an idea of how much rain.

Tandoori lamb chop

Tandoori lamb chop

Silly Box: A lamb chop has been sent into space. I didn’t read the article, it seemed too puerile, so I don’t know by whom, nor from where.

My question is, why?

Yes, this qualifies for the silly box.

I mean I can understand the necessity for an espresso coffee machine on the space station, but a sodding lamb chop….

That’s it, too tired.


Bower Fluds

Little bower fluds

Little bower fluds

You know what a Spoonerism is, right? Then I don’t need to explain the title. The rain has brought new growth, and my passion fruit vines are now sporting bower fluds…

These will grow into the garishly beautiful passion fruit flower. That will take about 6 days.

Why bower fluds? Well, when I am talking to myself, I often come out with Spoonerisms. They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness; I disagree. Sometimes it’s the only way I can have a sensible conversation…. It’s when I answer myself that I start to worry just a little.

Still cool today, the sun did make a brave effort to shine earlier, but failed miserably as the sky clouded over again. I do hope we get more rain to reinforce the weekend.

My new passport is winging its way on the final leg. I am tracking it via the internet, it has left Madrid and I think the next stop is Rio; that flight I think is about eleven hours. I think it should be here about midnight for delivery tomorrow.

That is one chapter nearly finished. Now I have other hurdles to face. Let’s see what the future holds.

Cucumber, chopped parsley and lemon zest

Cucumber, chopped parsley and lemon zest

My sushi adventure on Saturday was wonderful. I do love making it, and feel it is quite an achievement to have discovered how. I had planned to take photos of the process, but ended up with just one; having made the green fillings.

By then I was in full flight and didn’t stop until the tray was at the bar. By tht time it was too late… gone.

One novelty that I hadn’t tried before was the inside-out makimonos. With the rice on the outside covered in black and white sesame seeds. It wasn’t as difficult as I had previously thought.

I do feel that I must tender my apologies for the two crappy posts over the weekend, but I was having so much fun out there in the 3D world, that my 2D adventures seemed to slide over to the backburner. One must make hay while the sun shines.

My clock has stopped again. I have been running on 3:30am since I woke this morning. These cheap wall clocks chew through the batteries faster than Brazilians in a bar chew through sushi. But not to worry, in a few hours it’ll be right again…

American police have shot and killed a twelve year old boy playing with a replica pistol. The kid was in a park brandishing the toy around, the despatcher didn’t pass on the fact that the person who reported it doubted it was a real gun, the kid didn’t obey the police to put his hands up. A witness has said that at no time did the kid threaten the police nor point the gun in their direction. So who was right and who was wrong? To me the parents are at fault for failing to educate their son.

So far this morning, I have successfully burnt the two slices of pizza that I had planned as a brunch snack, not totally beyond recognition, but I will have crunchy pizza. That was a direct result of spending more time in front of the keyboard than in the kitchen where I should have been. Oh the sacrifices I make to write a better post.

Time for crunchy pizza followed by some Nap-fu practice.



Funny-Coffee-03Today was a quiet day after yesterday.

Very cool, rainy on and off. A pleasant change.

It was a do-nothing day, so I did nothing.

I drank coffee, lots of coffee. So you are well protected.

I blogged a little, but not every where, this will be my last post for the day, and then it’s bedtime.

I watched Flamengo’s game at the botequim, and took a tray of delicious squid rings to share. They didn’t last long.

It was the first game shown on the new TV set up at the bar. On Friday, the bar underwent a transformation. The big screen TV was taken out; a hole punched in the beam across the ceiling and a projector fitted. The back wall got a coat of white paint and now TV is projected on the wall. The screen is nearly two metres across, so everybody gets a good view.

I don’t know what has heppened, but yesterday and today I had to log-in to reply to comments on my own blog… weird.

Can’t think of anything for the silly box, but Google has rented the world’s biggest billboard. I don’t know why, but someone thinks this is headline news; I don’t.

Bombs, a F1 winner, six new saints, a new computer bug, a 100 year old woman has seen the sea for the fist time, and they are now wondering if contact lenses are safe…

That’s about it in a nutshell.

Later, I’m off to bed.


Yes, I am busy sushificating. So the chances of getting something meaningtful as a post comes from the realms of obscurity.

I.E. Bugger all!

I am waiting for the rice to cool.

So I have a few moments before panic-mode.

Principally, it is my lunch, but I am always prepared to share.

Seven hours later…

Bottled again.

The sushi was well recieved, people kept buying me beer

Then I opened a bottle of Sake…

The end.

Later, um, er, tomorrow.

I can count…

potato…to potato.

I saw this as a meme today and it tickled my fancy.

Yesterday, Beersday, I got bottled. Not seriously but I had a glow.

After I left you, I did, indeed, go to the botequim. There was the usual crowd of drinkers and boasters… and a guy selling fresh cheese and homemade sausages from the back of a pick-up.

Cheese samples were being handed around, which of course went well with the beer. R$15 for a kilo of cheese and R$15 for a bag of sausages. I got one of each. More cheese was cut, I produced a jar of pickled onions from home and we all proceeded to much away.

The day was hot, and more beer was drunk.

The day wore on, and in the afternoon I fired up the BBQ and sacrificed my bag of sausages. They were delicious and appreciated by those that were still clinging to their glasses. The sausages were served with pickled beetroot and homemade chimichurri.

Garlic-ButterThe breadman cycled past, I got 20 breadrolls. Back home, I got a block of butter, a head of garlic and some parsley from my garden. Fifteen minutes later there were garlic bread rolls on the grill.

Now the locals know that I am a chef, they’ve never actually seen me cheffing apart from flipping meat on the BBQ. Things like garlic butter are usually made at home and taken to the bar, but as I had the makings already there, I proceeded to chef away. peeled and chopped the garlic, chopped the parsley and beat the ingredients in the bowl. The onlookers stood there open mouthed at the speed I worked, and how fast there were garlicked bread rolls toasting on the grill. Of course, I was quite willing to show off (I am a bit of a ham) and accept the accolades.

The garlic bread disappeared off the platter as fast as it left the grill.

Had João, the breadman, gone past again, they would have had me making garlic bread way into the night.

While doing all this I got bottled… Various bottles of beer that I had in the fridge migrated to the freezer to get that chill on, you know that layer of ice on pouring.

Now that I have regaled you with yesterday’s exploits, I am about to do the same again today.

Oh, my kilo of soft cheese is salted with rock salt and in the fridge. Salt for three days, wash and turn daily for a month… and yum!




Lovely green bottles

I love glass and find an ethereal beauty in a collection like this. Wine bottles and drinking glasses too.

Recently someone had the temerity to suggest wine in a box. What an obnoxious thought. Wine in a box is just the epitomy of tackiness; not a shred of class.

I am not tied to classy things, but some things just don’t ring right. I guess it is the tradition genes working. I am a traditional person.

This is NOT Zumbi - google got it wrong again

This is NOT Zumbi – google got it wrong again

Today is a holiday… yes, another one. Brazil has plenty of them. Officially it is Black Consciouness Day in memory of Zumbi de Palmares, one of the 17th century leaders for slaves escaping and being sheltered in quilombos (slave settlements) hidden in the bush.

It promises to be hot, like yesterday, but more so; and the day before. Yes, we had two brief days with rain and back to the hot. The forecast is for 34ºC but we are expecting it to be hotter with the UV indice 11 on a scale of 10… go figure; and the humidity dropping to 20%; that’s drier than some parts of the Sahara Desert.

That’s where the bottles come in. Big brown bottles, filled with beer, chilled so that when the beer is poured it forms ice on the top, served in glasses from the freezer. The nothing that was interrupted yesterday will happen today.

Tomorrow too promises to be a nothing day. Nobody will work between a day off and Saturday. Already a good number of people in Rio and São Paulo have gone to the beach for the four days. Most left yesterday, the rodoviária (bus station) had a hundred extra buses to the beaches east of Rio, and on TV last night the highway from SP to the coast was bumper-to-bumper. Me, I wil hobble leisurely the 11 metres from my gate to the bar, no traffic. I will leave my bengala (walking tsick) at home so I can’t be accused of driving and drinking; my small contribution to road safety.

Then of course there are Saturday and Sunday to contend with.

I was up early today, morning constitutional before 7am before the sun was really up. It was so early that I heard sparrows farting. So there is some truth in the saying ‘before sparrow fart’ to denote an early hour. Once home, I watered the plants and set to blogging. Not very productive, I’ve only managed two so far.

Silly Box: North Korea is throwing a tantrum. Threatening nuclear tests if the UN goes ahead with its probe into NK human rights. What a little wanker!

breast2I was really miffed earlier. A small local restaurant in England put up a sign that breastfeeding mothers should use the toilet rather than breastfeed at the table.

That is truly despicable.

If some of their patrons object to breastfeeding mothers, then they should retire to the toilet to eat, then their prudish sensibilities won’t be offended.

Society really does have some problems if breastfeeding mothers are considered offensive.

In my mind bottle feeding (unless by medical necessity) should be considered child abuse. These companies that make and promote baby formula need to be censored; and baby formula added to the list of prescription medicine. We do need to get our shit together.

America is really obsessed with death. Utah has now approved a return to the use of firing squads if execution drugs are not available.

Did you know that McDonald’s in India is vegetarian. More than half of Indians are vegetarian; they worship cows, not eat them.

So McD’s had to ‘localise’ their menu.

Aloo Tikki Burger

Aloo Tikki Burger

The Aloo Tikki Burger has a vegetarian cutlet of mashed potatoes, veges and Indian spices.

So, inline with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… this is Beersday.

I have already Nap-fued.

The hot sun and cold beer beckon from beyond my gate.


A Great Mystery

carelessmatchThis is so true.

One careless match and you can raze an entire forest,

But you just try to light a BBQ, one match, no way.

My method is okay. I usually use a small plastic cup (recycled from the botequim, of course), half fill with alcohol and pile charcoal on top. Or, if there’s no alcohol, I use torn cardboard from an old carton, this can take a little longer and requires some puff. The end result is always okay.

Hot day. Watered plants, Coffeed me. Nap-fued. The rest of the day to do nothing, and I shall do it very well. I am after all, well qualified in nothing.

An afternoon at the botequim is high on the cards.

My recent posts have attracted lots of Likes, two of them setting a new record of 24 each. Now I’m aiming for 25…

I’m a bit miffed. I regularly read The Guardian news. Yesterday, I clicked on their environment page and… WTF? They’ve changed it. It used to be a nice orderly list of articles to read, now it’s a splash page with lots of photos spread across the screen. No order now, you don’t know where to look, have to hunt and study looking for something of interest. I gave up. Why do they ‘fix’ things that don’t need fixing?

The Silly Box: A hotel in Blackpool ‘fined’ a couple £100 for a negative review on Trip Advisor. They simply deducted the fine from their credit card. Bloody cheek. I can see there’s going to be a fight over this. Apparently, they warm people in their booking agreement about this and consider they have the right. These insidious practices need to be stamped out; boycott the bastards.

Update on that. The fine has been scrapped… haha, obviously they figured the fine was going to give them the worst kind of publicity, much worse than a negative review.

British chicken

British chicken

More than half (59%) of British chicken has been found to be contaminated with camphylobacter. The worst thing about it is there are no hard and fast rules about this. One supermarket chain still sold the stuff to the public after they had been advised of the contamination. No laws broken.

Feminism is in danger of becoming toxic, read the headline. Well, I have always considered it toxic. While I have no problem in equal rights for women, I do object to the highly militant practices of the ism, and having it shoved down my throat. And, if I object, I am labelled a mysogynist.

Some exciting news. Netflix will be in Australia and NZ next year. People are fools. Why do they support these monopolies? The whole world has gone crazy. Why do you need to see a film the moment it is released? Generally people piss me off. I wouldn’t pay a company like Netflix. I just wait until the film is downloadable and do so.

Brazil won their freindly game against Austria yesterday, 3-2. I didn’t think I’d see the game because of class, then one student cancelled, then another, then the last… Opened  a bottle of beer and saw the whole game. Some things work out well.

A ton of bad attitude

A ton of bad attitude

A zookeeper in England has discovered you shouldn’t piss of a rhino. He was found by collegues with serious body injuries in the rhino enclosure.

There’s no way in hell I’d get into a rhino enclosure, at least not together with the rhino.

Well, that about wraps it up.

Now I get a phone call and have to go to town. Poo! There goes my nothing.


90% and feeling stroppy

funny-coffee-posterYes, well on the way to ‘better’.

Not 100%, nose still stuffy, cough gone, no sore throat, sneezing fits stopped consequentially bowel gases back under control.

I’ve been out and watered the plants, oh, it’s been an exciting morning. I’ve even done half the dishes. A new lease on life.

Back on coffee! Wonderful, deliriously wonderful coffee. Drank enough tea in the past couple of days to pay of the Sri Lankan national debt.

Sunny day today, still some ominous clouds around, but probably like yesterday, they’ll disappear.

Nothing planned until classes.

Just going to enjoy the day.

Headline news: Charles Manson is going to get married. That’s nice, but who gives a shit? That’s NOT headline news.

David Cameron said the world is heading for another global economic collapse… Hell, we’re still falling into the last one. What he really means is we’re going to fall even deeper.

I was surprised to read that 10% of British men pay for sex. I got married once, paid for sex for the next 20 years… was still paying 10 years after the divorce.

Marriage is just a nice way of saying ‘pay for sex’.

The whole sex issue is wrong. Woman love, men lust; it’s just the nature of things and it’s not about to change. It would be nice if it did change, but I can’t see it. At least it won’t in my lifetime.

Japanese science in a can

Japanese science in a can

Japan has revised the tally of Antarctic whales to be hunted this season. 333 down from 900+. My question is why 333, why not 330, or 300? What is another 33 whales? I guess that’s a big deal when you consider that their ‘scientific’ whale harvest finishes up on Japanese tables.

Silly Box: Putin is saying the west started on the cold war path. Funny, I don’t remember the west invading Crimea, or causing the problems in Ukraine, or supplying the means of downing the Malaysian airliner…

Still in the Silly Box: Female police recruits in Indonesia have to submit to a “two-finger” virginity test… WTF has virginity got to do with the ability to be a policewoman? Do males have to suffer the same indignity? Maybe there is an opening for a proctologist there… ah, pun… uninteneded, but appropriate.

Look at all that ivory… image: The Guardian

Cloning mammoths is in the news again.

Why clone mammoths, we can’t even look after the elephants that we’ve got.

Oh, but think of all that ivory, mammoths have such lovely big tusks.

A car that runs a million miles on 8 grams of thorium… Nah, the oil compnies wouldn’t like that.

There, that’s about it for the day.

Sorry about the posts of the last couple of days, they were a bit crappy, just like I felt.


Feeling Better


The future of coffee

Not 100%, but certainly better than yesterday.

At least the scientific principle of “every action has an opposite and equal reaction” means I no longer fart when I sneeze or cough.

I am still drinking tea… Oh, I miss my coffee. I slept almost 7pm to 8am.

Yesterday, I drank wine, no beer, too cold. I watched the Flamengo game, good result 3-2 to us, and by then I was done in. So it was home to bed.

Is this to be the future of coffee?

I hope I never see it.

There are some things in this world that leave me appalled, this would be one of them.

I did get some good news yesterday. After all my trials and tribulations of the past weeks in getting photos, etc right, my passport has been processed and is winging its way across the globe to me. So that solves half my problems. The service was quite quick, they estimated 10 working days, but it was less than a week.

I have just been for a short constitutional around the park in the sun. Yes, there is sun today, although there are still some ominous clouds lurking overhead. It exhausted me, so I’m going to take a Nap-fu break, back soon…

Noisy little baskets

Noisy little baskets

Woken by the insane twittering of sparrows on my fence in courtship. Which can’t be measured against Yvonne’s raucous kookaburra from yesterday (comment), but it’s what I got.

I need more tea.

UEFA is talking about abandoning FIFA over this report, and there are calls for Europe to boycott the World Cup. The crunch is coming.

So this is what you are going to get for now.

I’m going to drink my tea at the botequim and watch the ominous clouds.

Maybe later/maybe not.

My Nothe ith Blocked

The wine key

The wine key

The weather change has not done me any good.

One of the rare occasions when I suffer. I have been farting, sneezing, sniffing and coughing simultaneously. I didn’t need this on Sunday.

My last post for the day, the rest is done. The laundry lady has gone and I’m going to make some more tea… I’m drinking apple tea, no milk, no sugar; it’s wonderful.

The net has just returned. It’s been down for an hour so I took the chance to make breakfast; fried eggs.

It’s raining on and off, sometimes heavily, sometimes light. I am going to hit the ‘wine’ key soon and retire to the botequim. It’s too cold to drink beer, and I don’t want to chill my innards any more, so a red wine will be the order of the day.

There’s been a lot of hype about this probe landing on the comet. I read that it was a bit like landing a fly on a bullet. No mean feat. The probe didn’t land right and it’s not getting power from the solar pannels. Damn, billions of dollars and years of work, just to be thwarted by a flat battery.

I am sure there are better causes here on Earth to spend that money on.

“Muslims discovered the Americas more than three centuries before Christopher Columbus, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has said.” – BBCNews. Yes, and everybody knows that the Vikings found it even earlier. Everybody has a borrow to push.

The silly box goes to Russia. They’re planing their own Wikipedia to portray Russia “objectively and accurately”, in other words, portray Russia like Putin wants it, which my not necessarily be the truth.

I think a short Nap-fu practice, then hit the wine.


An hour later…

We’ll try that trick again, The net went down just as I hit the posy button.


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