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It’s the Coffee that does it

Devilsh good looks

Devilish good looks

I have always been convinced that it is the coffee that is responsible for my devilish good looks.

Why?

Because I drink so much, and I am so devilishly handsome.

Coffee is not a drug as claimed by some, it is a cup of liquid sanity.

I am stress free, I don’t panic easily; except perhaps when the bule (coffeepot) is empty, then I’m likely to fly off the proverbial handle and run around the kitchen in a blind dither.

Yesterday was a lovely sunny day until late in the afternoon, then it clouded over. Today is promising to be the same after a freezing bitch of a night; the temp dropped to 12ºC. Remember we think 20 is cold, imagine how we felt at 12….

The Argentine flagArgentina is bankrupt, again.  They’re squealing that it’s not bankruptcy, because they have the money but the US court won’t let them pay it, unless they pay everybody. The trouble is that the majority of bondholders have accepted a lesser value for their bonds with a few hold outs that want what is due. Krissy Kirchner calls these companies vultures; and won’t pay them for fear that the majority will then claim the full amount too. That would really bankrupt the country.

I’m posting a leaf, not for your benefit, it’s for MWPG to identify.

We think it's a beefsteak tree...

We think it’s a beefsteak tree…

But she wanted a better photo of the leaf to confirm, hope this one is okay.

I am having mouse problems.

No, not Clorinha’s fault this time. To solve this mouse problem she would need opposable thumbs.

I bought two mice. (Musing… If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn’t the plural of house, hice?) These are Chinese mice.

Chinese Leadership, doesn't work

Chinese Leadership, doesn’t work. Ain’t that the truth?

When I got home I connected one.

Fine worked… for the first four days; then began to have clickability problems.

Finally, I changed it this morning. The next one didn’t have clickability problems. It didn’t even freakin’ well click, period; in fact it didn’t even register on the PC.

Change back to the one with clickability problems.

This was all pre-Coffee, the water was still boiling and I was running around the kitchen in a blind dither.

Why do the Chinese produce so much crap?

BuzzCrap

Yes, it’s everywhere. You can’t escape it, it’s pervasive.

Fish for lunch… *rushes off to take fish out of the freezer*

The fish is now out of the freezer.

Battered, poached or baked, that is question. Whether ’tis nobler in the kitchen to cook and suffer.  The pots and pans of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of  culinary treats… with apologies to William Shakespeare.

There I go; off on my tangent again.

Must get off my tangent and blog along.

Later.

Селфи

I finally discovered that selfies are a threat. One of my highly esteemed visitors here posted a selfie on his blog. Lenny, just because I did…

Putin' selfies on the net

Putin’ selfies on the net

Not only that; they’re spreading across the world, even Putinland has the ubiquitous selfie = Селфи. But then he deserves them.

Selfies are the peak of vanity, they are horrible, having that arm extended… I truly wonder what we’ll come up with next.

It’s 5am, BTW. I have been up three times already, this time I made coffee, giving in to insomnia.

likeable-blog-20-2x

Off with a hiss and a roar.

My new blog has received various accolades from WordPress, my rats are stattling along. I am surprised, as this is the fastest that any of my blogs has begun. First, 5 likes, then 10, now 20 and this is only the beginning of the third day.

Even God hadn’t got this far on the third day; he was still adding widgets.

.

Now there’s a modern version of creationism.

First God created a blog, he saw that it was good. On the second day he changed the theme to a WordPress light and added an app called firmament…. And on the sixth day he added the Adam widget, and then the Eve widget; which got a virus called Snake which in turn gave the world Apple, apple_logoand the world has never been the same since. On the seventh day God rested and received accolades from WordPress.

I see that Apple is in the poop, deep in the poop. I read a paper yesterday that discloses Apple has imbedded invasive codes into ALL its products, that do nefarious things like giving ALL your personal data, by passing passwords, to third parties. The rot is so deep that there are calls for a thorough criminal investigation and charges against all mid level and top level company executives. The scenario is so bad that it pales NSA into oblivion, apparently.

Another one bites the dust…

Oh, you don’t believe me, then have a read: The Internet of Things. It’s quite scary.

Fist bumps

Fist bumps

Fist bumps.

WTF is with this fist bumps?

I refuse to acknowledge fist bumps. I shake hands.

This fist bumps shit, to me, is a sign of aggression, it stems from gangs, it symbolises ‘yo dawg’.

Whereas a solid handshake is gentlemanly, warmth, solidarity.

Now they’re telling us fist bumps are healthier…

My upbringing says shake hands

My upbringing says shake hands

So I wash my hands and shake hands; or I work elbow deep in shit and fist bump, that’s healthier?

Not in my book.

Don’t thrust your fist bumping at me, if you don’t want to shake hands like a man, fine; just don’t expect a conversation.

Fist bumping is rife here in Brazil, but friends still shake hands.

It’s now 6am, I can see some Nap-fu practise coming up.

Later.

 

Humping Along

This is what I got when I googed 'humping along'

This is what I got when I googed ‘humping along’

Yes, just doing that.

The day started off well by following the weatherman’s predictions last week that the rain will last until Tuesday.

The sun was out and for a change I welcomed the 8am glare on the screen after such an absence.

10am and the sun was gone, the sky became increasingly cloudy until there was no sun and total overcast. The temperature, which was initially pleasant dropped like a hot brick.

Bring on the clowns

Bring on the clowns

I have 40 minutes in which to entertain you. *Looks around for entertainment*

Clowns are good.

Then it’s off to work. Hope the rain stays off.

As an aside, I don’t suggest you goog ‘humping along’ with the filters off, it curled my hair… and I don’t have any!

There, having resorted to clowns gives you some idea of my inspiration levels.

The humping along bit is about this video clip that I shot last Thursday when we had some sunshine.

This is what I meant by humping along. It was just outside my gate.

Netanyahu is complaining that the news reports are ignoring Israel’s death toll. I’m not surprised Israeli death 50+/- which include 3 civilians. Palestine’s on the other hand is over the 1,000 with 700+/- civilian deaths. Stop the bitching and stop attacking people. Netanyahu talks about his ‘mission’, just what is his mission? The tunnels are just an excuse for genocide.

It amuses me that the moment someone says anything about Israel, they’re accused of being anti-Semitic. But you are not labelled if you saying something about any other country, why does Israel have its own special word?

BP is crying again. Saying the sanctions against Russia are going to hurt them. Tough, how about thinking of people instead of profits. If it hurts, bleed. These corporations hold no truck with me. We’d be better off without them.

Muse, where are you?

Muse not talking, so I’ll abandon you and get ready for work.

I wish I could join Clorinha asleep on the sofa.

Later.

 

 

Cold, Hungry & Miserable

This is what the chill factor feels like

This is what the chill factor feels like

Yes, I’m cold, I was wearing my jacket this morning while at the PC. I have just taken it off and am debating the wisdom of this.

I’m hungry, I had a cooked breakfast this morning just so I could spend fifteen more minutes in front of the stove.

I’m miserable for both reasons above.

If someone tells me to chill out today, their ducking skills had better be good.

For those of you who missed the update on yesterday’s post. My Floozy Clorinha came home last night, exactly 24 hours after I last saw her. She began meowing from the gate until I put some meat in her dish. She was cold, hungry and miserable too.

I think she is in her first season and was out looking for randy Toms. As was pointed out in a comment, I am NOT talking about her first season at the Met.

Five likes

Five likes

My new blog, What’s left of my life, has had a few visitors and had likes before I had put up the widgets.

Then I got one of these…

New photo and story up today. I may do another, checking through my archives (some 13,000+ images) there’s so much I want to post.

I read an interesting threat on Twitter the other day; cracked me right up. It’s good to have a laugh.

“I wear heels bigger than your dick!”

Yes, well, that about says it all.

Then on the news, The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was ‘Bad Luck’ Well, it certainly wasn’t good luck. Further in the news, it was good luck for us that the dinosaurs became extinct as they have discovered the T-Rex hunted in packs.

Here’s something to think about. I guarantee you’ve never imagined this…

Did T-Rex have a sex life?

Did T-Rex have a sex life?

If you have, then I can suggest a good psychologist, you are in dire need of therapy.

Of course they had a sex life. How do you think they got little T-Rexes?

Imagine T-Rex PMT… Just be thankful for what you’ve got.

Well, the local news has just finished that means it’s lunch time; I should go and lunch.

Later.

I am Incorrigible

Oh, you knew that already.

I’m also very tired.

My neighbour came home at 2am. Know how I know that? He made a lot of noise putting his car in the carport outside my open bedroom window.

Pfffff!

I wasn’t going to go back to sleep easily. Remember I had a long Nap-fu practice earlier.

Clorinha with me in the praça on a sunnier day last week.

Clorinha with me in the praça on a sunnier day last week.

I made coffee. It was the only sensible thing to do. That was about when I realised that Clorinha wasn’t home…

The last I saw of her was when I went to the pizza shop to complain about the soggy chips (French fries). She always follows me. On the way home she made a detour to inspect the rubbish on the corner; it was rubbish night.

I left her, as she normally comes back home sooner or later.

So what does one do at 2am with coffee? Check emails, comments, notifications, etc. Doing so I found a great WP Theme, which generated an idea. At first I tried it on Eco-Crap, but it fidn’t dit. So I returned Eco-Crap to normal.

lovesscratchesBut there was still this idea lurking, niggling, frustrating me.

The old story, if you’ve got an itch, scratch it.

I began scratching.

The result is a new blog. What’s left of my life. It’s a photo blog. I hope to post a daily photo from my files of photos that I have taken as I cruised around South America before settling back here in Rio, and then my photos from here as well.

I got back to bed at 5:30.

I have two experimental posts up, and I may add another one later. I also have three followers, and likes. They were up before I had finished adding the widgets.

The rain, well yes… It’s still nut numbingly cold.  I am going to change out of these woolly pants and put woollier ones on. The plants are just loving the rain, they’re all bright and green and perky; and there’s new fronds unfurling on the samambaia (ferns).

I’ve lost my rubber!

This is NOT a rubber, it's a condom

This is NOT a rubber, it’s a condom

Now, that’s going to confuse the crap out of my American readers. Why does a nearly 63 year old need a rubber? Hey, it still works you know. My youngest, Emmylee, is only seven!

For me a rubber is an eraser (Americanese), I want to rub out a note I made during the night, it’s no longer needed.

I see that England are suggesting that the next FIFA World Cup be taken off the Russians as a sanction for the downing of the French airliner, the annexation of Crimea and arming the insurgents in the Ukraine. IMHO, that’s fitting. Really Putin’ someone’s nose out of joint, hurting him where it hurts most, right in the pride. But Septic Blathermouth and those weak-kneed arseholes at FIFA said there are no plans to shift the venue. Grow some balls you bastards!

I haven’t read the news yet, so not much to comment on.

Not that much to do really, I got most of my posts done in the early hours while I was formulating how to scratch that itch.

So I will let Sunday roll along and go with the flow.

Later.

 UPDATE

Clorinha came home, meowing from the gate, cold and hungry 24 hours exactly from when I last saw her. First thing she did was bite me, now that’s love…

Puxa!

Sperm Bank

Sperm Bank

Puxa, in Portuguese means ‘pull’. Pronounced, pusha.

Terribly confusing for foreigners, while empurre (empoorhy) means ‘push’. Puxa is also used as a polite expression of surprise; whereas those of us of a masculine persuasion, would normally say PORRA! Which is a palavrão (swear word) and actually means ‘sperm’, but used like an English speaking male would use ‘fuck!’

Anyway, moving right along!

My first waking thought a 6:10pm, was Puxa!

One, it was dark; two, it was cold, bitterly cold and I was just in my underwear.

So what happened?

It all started as a pretty normal Saturday. I coffeed, I blogged, I coffeed again, repeat. All the while I was thinking “food’ must get food.” The driving force for this thought was twofold, one, the fridge was empty; and two, I was hungry.

Essentials

Essentials

So about 11am I decided to go hunting, rather somewhat like my hunter-gatherer forebears; I went to the supermarket. Finally.

There I hunted for things to go into my trolley (shopping cart for our American cousins), and gathered them.

I planned to buy only essentials like wine, beer and some food.

Things began to fall into my trolley, a bottle of sake, three bottles of Seleção Brasileira (National football team) beer which I saw for the first time, things that would be considered impulse buying. My Nap-fu skills are only exceeded by my impulse buying skills.

Okay, so going to the supermarket wasn’t the worst part of the day, except at the cashier.

Taxi home.

Oh look! They’re having a BBQ at the botequim! That’s about where things went awry.

I put the shopping away in record time, and headed to the bar. I ate, I drank, I was merry. Then I got conned into tending the BBQ, that often happens as my BBQing skills are also well honed. At 4pm, I left a lonely sausage shrivelling on the near dead coals and headed home to test my Nap-fu skills.

Waking to the thought, “Puxa!

I set about defrosting myself. I made fresh coffee, put on my woolly pants and slowly stopped shivering.

This post was written as I thawed.

So Saturday, came and went before I had a chance to blink.

Despite having food in the fridge, I don’t feel like cooking. So the new pizza shop in the neighbourhood is getting a tryout… again. Now, I am waiting for pizza delivery.

Later.

A Loathing

Yes, I loathe selfies; hate them with a passion.

Even more so now.

Having had my hair and beard cut that morning, it added a touch of the demented

Having had my hair and beard cut that morning, it added a touch of the deranged

Last night in class we were discussing my new cellphone. I had earlier in the day bought a new SIM card and inserted same. I had verified that the camera now worked, but hadn’t actually taken a photo. My students, an accountant and a logistics supervisor, both of whom should know better, convinced me that traditionally, one takes a selfie to prove the camera works.

I took a selfie.

True to form, it made me look like a criminal, to make matters worse, I had chosen to wear an orange T-shirt which only served to highlight my potential criminality.

All this merely confirms my loathing.

Never again.

Late start today. 12:45 and I’ve just finished a bacon and egg breakfast.

It began raining last night, and is forecast to  continue until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Just had a double power surge and had to restart PC. These are Monday things, not for a Friday. I was lucky, autosave saved what I had so far. I so loathe it when I lose writing.

I was up during the night, yes, playing with my cellphone. Give a kid a new toy and…

I had removed the SIM card to download the criminal photo, and the battery fell out, so I had to reset everything again.

This is now my wallpaper.

Suits the 'fire orange' them of my cellphone

Suits the ‘fire orange’ them of my cellphone

My late start was due to the rain and very cool temps. It’s not underwear weather. I am in T-shirt and brushed cotton pants to stave off the cold.

Clorinha took one look at me an wondered why I had so much fur on, then went back to sleep on the sofa.

The plant I posted yesterday is apparently a Beefsteak (Perilla frutescens) plant, thank you to MWPG identifying it for me.

fartA suggestion in comments, that in order to combat global  flatulence, we should cull humans. I quite agree, there are far too many of us.

I didn’t actually get to the supermarket yesterday. The ATM had remembered how to money, so I paid the rent, by that time I was close to lunch in both space and time. Snap decision…

Caught the restaurant out falsifying food. They had sole fillets listed on the buffet… yum. When I cut into the first one it was pink inside. Sole doesn’t have colour. They were passing off panga (R$9/kg) as sole (R$28/kg). The manager wasn’t aware and gave the kitchen a bollocking for putting the restaurant at risk of a heavy fine. Our consumer protection, ProCon, just love to dish out R$10,000 fines for this type of infraction. The manager thanked me for the information, but he didn’t go as far as offering a free lunch.

Also, I loathe panga. Panga is a Vietnamese export. Raised in the Mekong River Delta which is the sewer of South East Asia and they fill it with hormones to grow quicker.

yodaasleepagain

No, I was practising my Nap-fu

After which I went home to practice my Nap-fu.

Big steel birds seem to be falling out of the sky somewhat regularly, shot down, hi-jacked, sand storm have taken their toll in recent months.

Israel is on the path to succeeding in their planned genocide of the Palestinians. I hope that if and when the last Palestinian falls that the UN, Britain and the USA are taken to book for giving Palestine to the Israelis in the first place. They started it. It has become obviously aware that Israel will not stop until Gaza is gone.

I have a heap of posting to do today, so I should really blog along.

I will leave you all with my loathings for the day and go and make more coffee.

Later.

 

 

Chickens don’t Fart

Who, me?

Who, me?

Apparently this is the main environmental concern with poultry/beef and mutton. I didn’t see a mention about pigs, I presume pigs fart.

The production of methane is the issue.

Then I read yesterday that 66% of British poultry is contaminated with camphylobacter… which causes thousands of dodgy stomachs every year.

Then I read that cows eat grass… well, duh, they’re meant to, humans can’t eat grass; whereas chickens are in direct competition to humans for high quality grain.

What it boils down to is we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

So, what about human flatulence? Isn’t our flatulence methane, or is it some rosy non-smelly stuff?

Yes, maybe we should be looking at taxing humans who fart

Yes, maybe we should be looking at taxing humans who fart

Now if we bring in the human element and measure against cows, who produces the most methane?

As a parting shot… just be glad cows aren’t raised on garlic and cabbage!

Phew!

.

 Clorinha had a tiring day…

Romping around the praça, visiting the botequim, chasing the boy cats next door; life is just so exhausting.

By 8pm she was zonked on the sofa

By 8pm she was zonked on the sofa

Then she stopped out all night. She came for her nightly boomp when I went to bed, then jumped off the bed and didn’t come home until the third coffee.

Strange plant.

Some years ago, I saw this plant in a neighbour’s front yard and was informed that it had to be grown from a fallen seedling.

Sharing a tin with a tomato and two papaya trees

Sharing a tin with a tomato and two papaya trees

I don’t know what made me do it, but a couple of months ago, I passed one in the street and snapped a twig off it. Once in the water at home on the windowsill, it sprouted roots and I transplanted it. The tomato and mamão (papaya) are self sown from the compost I filled the tin with.

Dark green upper leaf and dark purple underneath.

Dark green upper leaf and dark purple underneath.

Any ideas as to what I am growing?

Fourth blog today, halfway there.

Must blog along on this sunny Thursday morning, then it’s off to town to buy a SIM memory for my new cellphone and off to the supermarket for some therapy. I am going to Extra today, they have Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce and a roasting dish with a heavy base that won’t buckle when I make the gravy like my current one.

Oh, the excitement, sends shivers all over.

Later.

 

Dedisherficator

This is a budding dedisherficator

This is a budding dedisherficator

I am but a humble dedisherficator, Humble but habitual.

You see when one disherficates, one creates dishes, most people would call this cooking and eating, but I find the convenience of a single word bodes well.

I didn’t completely dedisherficate, because once the marmalade on toast was eaten and the fresh coffee made, there was bugger all reason to stay in the kitchen. So I left the three chips (French fries) on the floor from last night, one of the cats will get hungry enough.

I went and watered the plants, stewing over how to use my new word; and here I am. Posting until the hour in which I redisherficate.

Now, I know that most of you are thinking, “Poor demented soul!”

Poor, I am not, I am rich. Not in monetary terms, there I am poor, but in richness of life, my cup overfloweth.

This is demented, really demented

This is demented, really demented

Demented, I’m not so sure, it would depend on the yardstick you use. I am certainly not normal, so I am somewhere either side of that mark. But, I don’t think I have sunk so far down the well as to be classed as truly demented, slightly eccentric, maybe a tad off the rails.

Soul, I have none. Well not in the selling sense, and I do care about many things, so I would not class myself as a sociopath, they don’t have a soul. You only have to look around at the many sociopaths in our world; they call themselves politicians, presidents, CEOs, w bankers and neighbourhood watch coordinators. No I am definitely not a sociopath.

I have lamented in the last couple of posts about Clorinha’s lack of mousing skills. Here is how I imagined her.

Plying her trade

Plying her trade

Sadly, it appears not to be the case; and I was so hopeful.

My Cordon Beucon bacon and cheese stuffed weinerschnitzel yesterday was decadent delicious. I have decided, after much prompting from netizens, that I will become a vegetarian; just as soon as they figure out how to grow bacon on trees. *Puts idea into pigs-might-fly basket*

Do you remember the old office trays on desks? You hand an ‘in’, ‘out’ and ‘pending’ tray.

Older than these

Older than these

Boy, are you old if you remember these. The ones I had were the in-line ones across the top of the desk, they’re so old that google doesn’t even list them, not even under vintage.

I had an in, out, too hard, and pig-might-fly trays.

George Harrison Memorial Tree

George Harrison Memorial Tree

The morning is wearing on, I can’t justify Nap-fu practice, as I woke up from one less than an hour ago to make coffee and marmalade on toast.

I read yesterday that th memorial tree for George Harrison of the Beatles fame has been destroyed by… you guessed it, beetles.

How ironic.

This is my first post of the day, got a way to go.

Later.

 

 

My Wheelie Weally Works

Remember yesterday I had problems with the wheelie thingy on my new mouse, well a reboot solved the problem; the vagaries of PCs. Any way it remembered how to scroll.

The good news, I survived another Monday.

CatMouse2Andrew commented that Clorinha looked like she was “trying to hug the mouse to death.” Maybe training aids aren’t the way to go. I might add that mouse was already dead and Clorinha was just doing what cats do; maybe she instinctively knew it was a dead mouse.

There is also the horrifying thought that she might try to kill the mouse attached to the PC.

Not a lot has happened so far this morning.

I made the coffee, does that count?

Lunch, well I have two pre-weinered schnitzels quietly desiccating in the back of the fridge, so I guess that’s it. Have to use them before they are tough enough to add straps and use as emergency flip flops.

.

Yoda-I-smell-bacon-meme-funny-1egQI will glue them together with Brie and bacon, Cordon Bleucon… and cook them off in the oven.

Spent last night programming my new cellphone, setting the date, etc. Now that may seem rather mundane, but never-the-less a challenge when you are somewhat technology illiterate and the instructions are in Portuguese. It is the most update tech that I have, I believe that my new phone can do things that I never dreamed of. If it can make good coffee in the morning and serve it in bed, I’ll marry the damned thing.

This is a black box

This is a black box

I see the pro-Russian rebels have surrendered the ‘black boxes’ from MH17.

But the pictures showed orange thingies…

Why are black boxes orange?

There is so much in life to think about.

And this…

black-box-l3

Is neither black nor a box, although it does have a small box attached.

I see my recent posts have 9, 10 or 11 ‘Likes’. I am convinced this fall off is because I have not included sex… no rectums, no arseholes, no vaginas…

Moving right along.

Sunny day again, not hot, not cool.  The praça is full of kids, I haven’t seen them, but the air is blue with the language of boys flying their kites, and the swings are squeaking. That’s enough evidence.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with a photo of a friend of mine. Alan lives in the Pantanal.

AlanPantanal

Sunbathing on the beach by the campsite

Alan is about three metres long, he is a Black Paraguayan Cayman, quite friendly, accepts hugs. No, really, if you’re careful you can hug him.

Off for my Nap-fu practice

Later.

 

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