I am mourning.
Last night I got the phone call that everyone dreads.
My younger brother rang and told me that our mother had passed away two hours earlier.
A nasty shock, as I had spent 20 minutes on the phone to her the previous night. Our usual Saturday night rendezvous and she sounded on top of the world and I told her so and she agreed.
A time for reflection. I am the eldest and Mum was always there, and now she’s not.
I will not be travelling for the funeral, because of the fuso horario (can’t think of the English) crossing the International Date Line means I would arrive after the funeral. Got it, time zone.
Mum and I had always been matter of fact about such matters, and she had once said that if I ever come back to NZ, do it before she goes; after is pointless. I never thought I would be in that position, my brother agreed on the phone.
Mum was never up with technology, she wouldn’t have known a blog if she tripped over it… but in the event there is a celestial blog; Bye Mum, we had tough times and good times, now I have memories to treasure.
Love…
Life is but a Labyrinth 
This is so sad, AV. Much sympathy. It is the suddenness that takes the breath away. I lost my father when I was living abroad and also my brother. No warning for my father – I had seen him the week before, happy as anything. Little warning for my brother. Mother went slowly and peacefully. Take whatever solace you can in the closeness of your relationship and that the last conversation was a happy, upbeat one. I think you may need to open the fridge this evening. Celestial blogs? Why in heaven not?
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>Andrew, thank you for your kind words. I can’t sleep, so I am replying at 2am. Yes, the last conversation was definitely upbeat, we were laughing together. The fridge stayed closed, I don’t find solace in alcohol.
AV
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You are very wise. My brother and I split a bottle of scotch the day I arrived home after my father died. It didn’t help one iota. But maybe a toast in due course to a mother much loved and missed.
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Yes, I have the Italian fizz still in the fridge from New Year (it didn’t get opened), I now have a better use for it, to celebrate my mother’s wake later today.
AV
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My deepest sympathy…
I lost my father 2 years ago (when I was only 22 yrs old) and I know how it feels…my mama and siblings , family members and friend’s love and support that have kept me going steadily now…
I believe your mom and my dad are both well up there…watching over us..
Have a strong heart… :’)
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>katrina, thank you also for your kind words. My father died 20 years ago, but it was expected. Mum wasn’t. Strong heart, locked and loaded; life must go forward.
I tried to visit your WP site and got a 404.
AV
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My father passed away unexpectedly as well and I’m glad I was by my mama side all the time..
I’m sorry, I’ve changed my WP, please try:
http://www.katrinayusof.wordpress.com
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>katrina, got it. Good post, I’m a Strong Girl Now…
AV
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Much sympathy and big hugs. Losing a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. My father in October. It breaks your heart no matter the circumstances. It’s always too soon. Lovely that you got to laugh together.
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>UB, I had trouble sleeping last night, and one of the many thoughts I had was of those last 20 minutes we shared. Thanks for the hugs, hugs are good even if they are 2D.
AV
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I am sorry for your loss. My folks live in the UK and I am in Italy, your post made me think that I ought to grab a ticket and make a surprise visit.
I wish you all the best.
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>Pecora Nera, do it, you’ll never regret it. The last time I saw my Mum was in 1996, 16+ years ago. Unfortunately, my circumstances have not permitted me to ‘buy a ticket’ nor ‘go’ for the last 11 years. In that respect I am an orvelha negra (pecora nera). Thanks for the message, appreciated.
AV
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AV, so sorry to hear this, pls accept my sincere condolences. I can imagine how difficult and hard it is. My mother almost died last year, luckily the surgeons managed to save her life and she has recovered. Like you, I am away from my family and now keep in touch often via email and tell calls and I try to meet Mum every 2-3 months (I know that would not have been possible for you). Life is so short. We should not forget it and tale anybody around us for granted. Hope to read from you when you feel like it again. Elisa
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>Elisa, thank you very much. We did have a scare two years ago, but she was over that. You are lucky that you have the chance to see your Mum sometimes. I have only had the telephone for 16+ years. I am trying to maintain a posting, and have done so on my blogs. I will post here later. Thanks again, appreciated.
AV
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I never know what to say… my thoughts and prayers are with you. I dread the day when I will receive a similar phone call…
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>dj, I understand and thank you. I too have difficulty in finding words at tough times. Appreciate the comment.
AV
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My dear friend,
Forgive me for being so late… I can’t do it person, but even if I have known you only for such a short time, please allow me to wrap my arms around your neck and leave a tear of deep respect, love and sympathy through these time on your shoulder…
I’ll just sit with you deep in my heart, in silence…
May the sweet memory of your dear mother comfort you and bless you…
Rom
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>Rom, never too late my friend. Hugs gratefully received, thank you. Support at a time like this is always welcome. The length of a friendship is not important, I appreciate your sentiments, and yes, my mother’s memory will always be there.
AV
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Sorry to hear of your loss, no matter how expected it may be, losing a close family member is always hard to deal with.
Kymbo
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>kymbo, thanks for the thoughts, appreciated. I knew this day would come, Mum was 89 last Friday, I just didn’t want it to come just yet. Mum and I joked on the phone that while 90 isn’t a century, it’s still a good innings, but the bowler took her wicket one run short.
AV
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Sorry for your loss, my blogging friend. For what it’s worth – I’m thinking of you from afar. It is always difficult losing a parent and it is good that you had been able to speak with her so recently, especially that she was feeling so good.
Tony
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>tony, thoughts from afar count, thank you. My Dad went 20 years ago, I didn’t think Mum would go for a bit as both her her sisters made it to 90. ones 94 and still going although her health wasn’t as good as Mum’s. You just never know. Thank you.
AV
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Oh, AV … I’m so sorry for your loss! I wish I could say something that would sweep away the sadness and pain. I can’t, of course, but please know that I’m thinking of you and sending positive energy your way. I’m glad that you had a nice conversation with your mom on Sunday … it sounds like the two of you had a lovely relationship. Take care, my friend … and know that you have many friends in the blogosphere who have you in their thoughts today.
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>SF, thank you very much. The initial shock has gone, now coming to the realisation of life without mother. Mum and I did have a great relationship as I was the eldest, she often shared secrets with me that she wouldn’t have dared tell my father. The sheer number of comments and visits shows that I have bloggy support out there. Again, thank you, your thoughts are greatly appreciated.
AV
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My sincere condolences, AV. When my mother passed I felt like I was limping, out of balance, for a year. I could have used a black veil for that time. Please be kind to yourself.
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>CelloMom, thank you, very much appreciated. I’m okay, just a little awkward at the moment. One must look forward, for that is where the future is.
AV
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