No burning penises or loose testicles in this post, if that’s what turns you on (must be I got so many likes on the last two posts) then I suggest you desist now before disappointment sets in and becomes a moribund fascination…

Sunday is a day to relax.

Unless of course you are religiously tainted, then its a mad panic to scrub the kids and make them look presentable before heading of to church to be relieved of the horrendous angst accumulated through the week. Then you don’t get a chance to relax

ConchayToroRiesling

Great Chilean plonk

But on Sunday I have the luxury of relaxing, because I am not so tainted.

I have blogged today, I have napped today, I have watered the plants today and I have turned the compost over… This is called relaxing.

Having had a replete morning relaxing, I decided on lunch; which one tends to do if one missed breakfast. Well, I had three steaming mugs of coffee.

With my thoughts turned toward lunch, I remembered a recipe I saw yesterday on Kitchen Ventures. I had some of the ingredients, and had to improvise on others.

Prosciutto, for example became bacon.

Asparagus retained its original identity, albeit from a jar.

I didn’t have any wild mushrooms, but they were pretty pissed off by the time I put them in the pan.

Heavy cream became, well, cream.

White wine became a Chilean Cocha y Toro Riesling.

The rest of the ingredients more or less resembled themselves.

The first step in my Seared Prosciiuttoless Asparagus etc… was the wine. The chosen wine needs to breathe. So, open the wine and check; if it’s not breathing, give it mouth to bottle resuscitation.

what i started with

what I started with

I like cooking with wine. As on this occasion, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Once one has ascertained that the wine is, in fact, breathing. One slices good thick rashers off the block of bacon and cooks off to a crisp orangy-goldy colour, which is about the stage before burnt-to-a-crisp.

Take the bacon out and set aside.

bacon

Add oniony garlicky mushroomy things to bacon fat with a sprinkle of rosemary.

stuffinthepan

Stuff in the pan

Cooked off to golden colour, add wine… add a splash more just to be sure.

Reduce… (that does NOT mean tasting it yet!)

While that is reducing, layer the asparagus on the bacon in the tray.

Check that the wine is still alive.

Add pseudo ‘thick cream’, stir, while it thickens a bit, make toast. (Yes, I know this wasn’t in the original recipe!)

Pour sauce over asparagus and bacon, allowing the hot sauce to reheat the bacon and asparagus.

offendingproduct

Offending mixture

Divide off about half the offending mixture and serve on hot buttered toast.

It is about this time that the remaining wine, whether breathing or not, should be dispatched humanely and put out of its misery.

That is a slap-dash, because everything is slapped in the pan with a dash of this and a dash of that. You’ll notice that I haven’t included measurements; if you know what you are doing, they’re irrelevant.

Consume ravishingly while watching The Incredibles. I don’t have cable so I had no choice. The wine makes them bearable.

The rest of the day to relax…

Later, much later.

Advertisements