Category: blogging


Pre-Post

internet service downThis is not a post. There is nothing here.

Just explaining that on my return home last night at 7pm, I had wonderful plans to write the last post of the day here; only to find the net was connected but not accessible.

It remained so until 1:30am this morning which was the last time I was conscious.

Only now at 6am did I discover, it’s back.,

I have to get my coffee organised, deblurr my eyes and pee… not necessarily in that order.

Soon.

5 Must do Blogging Tips

Once again, I have visited a blog that espouses ‘blogging tips’.

There are thousands, nay probably millions, of blogs and blogs with posts about blogging tips. And, the surprising this is they ll seem to get plenty of readers, likes and follows.

I can’t see why I shouldn’t join the madding crowd.

And I look forward to having lots of wonderful comments, visitors and likes too.

Five Tips to Ensure your Blogivity.

Blogging Tip #1

coffee-cigarettes_00387047Coffee, one cannot blog or write descent material without having decent coffee at hand. Coffee and the by necessity cigarette are essential blogging tools. If your posts lack that essential caffeine hint, then sadly your blog will fail.

The coffee needs to be real coffee; instant or Starbucks will not cut the mustard and will result in mediocre posts.

catswim

A pussy is a must, if it’s a wet pussy, so much the better

Blogging Tip #2

Pussy!

You’re blog must have the quintessential cat.

It may be your cat, it can be a LOL Cat, all the better.

It can even be a scraggy moggy found while trolling the blogosphere.

The cat may be neurotic, or one offering philosophical advice; but the bottom line is it must have a cat.

A giant duck has nothing to do with this post

A giant duck has nothing to do with this post

Blogging Tip #3

Whatever your post is about, there must be an image of some description.

Blog posts that are just text are boring.

The image may/may not be related to the post, but it must be linked in some way.

Images should be spaced alternatively, or people will think you are just taking the mickey.

If you don’t have an image, people may think you are quackers or the type of person who plays with a rubber ducky in the bath, which, by the way proves that you are quackers.

A fairy in a jar, is often helpful, if you can find one at the bottom of the garden

A fairy in a jar, is often helpful, if you can find one at the bottom of the garden

Blogging Tip #4

Know your audience, target your posts to your audience. Once you have got a visitor you must keep them captured, enraptured and literally trussed up in what you have to say, or indeed not say.

You don’t have to be as charismatic as that Biblical fellow, but he does have a lot of followers (he must have good SEO).

But once you’ve captured your audience, you have to give them something worthwhile, or not, to keep them entranced.

A sure-fire way to keep your audience, is post regularly and often. And write your posts ‘off the cuff’; don’t plan them. Planned posts often come across as bullshit and the world has enough of that already.

Don’t forget to communicate; if your visitor leaves a comment, acknowledge it, appreciate it, thank them. If you can’t think of anything to say, just ūüôā

Rather sterile, but it may work

Rather sterile, but it may work

Blogging Tip # 5

SEO Рyou must know your SEO. Sex, Enigma and One can of inspiration. If you are not inspired, your readers will know. Therefore you keep them spell-bound with sex and the extraordinary. That other stuff about search engines not finding your material is superfluous. If you have Sex, Enigma and One can of inspiration,  you will be found.

Some people prefer to have an inspiration key fitted to their keyboard. That’s all very well, but it doesn’t give the same gratification as opening a can and dipping your finger in; it’s a bit like that Nutella feeling, gooey but nice.

Every bloggers' dream

Every bloggers’ dream

Blogging Tip #6

Be inconsistent, eclectic, keep people guessing.

Tell them one thing and do another, like have a sixth blogging tip when you promised five.

Don’t just dream to be out for lunch, go the whole hog and go viral.

Summary

My pearls maybe wisdom, maybe not, you may get more readers, maybe not, but you will have the satisfaction of blogging. You deserve another coffee.

NB: Some of the above is not nonsense, most of it is.

Remember, when in doubt ūüôā

Don’t Panic

My lack of posts since Saturday is due to my ISP going down on Saturday morning.

I am taking advantage of the work link.

Similarly, I can’t access my emails, so comments are remaining unanswered in the meantime.

AV

Just a Quickie

Oh, at 60+, don’t I wish…

I commented on a blog today in a post about Twitter Trolls and other unpleasant crap. It prompted me to go and look a an old post I think I was Bitch Slapped and then I checked the previous post out of a perverse curiosity, Technology Harlots. Gave myself quite a thrill to see what I had written nearly two years ago.

I must explore old posts more often.

A quickie would still have been fun too…

Back to bed, good night.

It’s never too late

Thank You KeyBefore we head off into the second week of the New Year, I’m going to hit the ‘Thank You’ key.

There are some people out there who deserve a BIG thank you, who have followed, visited regularly, commented and generally supported my various blogs over the past year.

In not particular order…

Andrew from Hong Kong has a photography blog All downhill from here mainly birds, he visits here almost daily hits the like button and leaves comments.

Chas Spain Design has an art blog, another regular hitting the like button and leaving comments.

Rachel over at quakerattled comes from my home town, but moved to Auckland because of the earthquakes that flattened our city, visits, comments and likes daily. She has recently been touring England writing and photographing her travels with the family and is about to return home.

Small at Reduce Footprints, a great environmental blog, a superb resource for anyone bent in that direction. I have been following Small since her first appearance in the blogosphere and we have at times been partners in crime. She is on her annual hiatus presently, hopefully to return on 22nd Jan.

Set the Tempo is where you’ll find Kymbo from Down Under. He visits, comments and likes on two of my blogs on a daily basis. I love his byline: “A little of this and that, not too much of some things and way too much of other things…”

Conrad at Wine Wankers, have a great blog, and another The Lords of the Drinks, both regular visitors and likers.

Fromage Homage is a turophile, has a cheesy blog teaching us about the wonders of British cheeses… who ever knew?

I’m going to stop here, I could add many more, but I have to get to the supermarket; I’m out of… well, just about everything.

So for the ones I didn’t dig out of the trash file, you’re not forgotten, whenever you visit here, I do eventually get to your blog too. Now I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t included everyone…

I’ll leave you with today’s art work…

vacuumheadphones

I am Incurable

Yesterday, I had planned a post. I was determined that I would not miss writing a post.

But, alas, I failed… again.

Too much animal content

Too much animal content

Despite the best of intentions, I got sidetracked. It was driven by thoughts of my most popular blog becoming, almost, my most unpopular blog. Nether Region of the Earth was my first blog in 2004, it was then my only blog. I took matters in hand, and remade the blog NRotE II, and created a personal blog, and some others. Then came the disaster with Blogspot/Google and all was lost in 2011. I started again on WordPress and all was well until 26th Feb, and my blogs seemed to become invisible with NRotE III suffering the biggest downturn. Like today for example, it has had 3 hits at 2pm, and yesterday amassed 13 for the whole day. This is a blog that used to get 200+ up to 300 hits per day.

I began to wonder if I was having too much ‘animal’ content. I took the bull by the proverbial horns yesterday and split the animal content off to another blog.

SAACbanner11100px

This is the result. If you are so inclined, click on the banner to drop on over.

Yesterday became devoted to organising a new blog and associated widgets.

So the day was not lost. Today, I posted my last Caturday on NRotE III and my first on Some Animals are Crackers, ah different posts, double the fun.

Tonight I am taking ex and family out for pizza. An annual event to celebrate multiple August birthdays, 8th, 12th, 16th 29th and a couple in September, 7th & 17th. It’s cheaper to have one BIG bash than many little ones. There may be evidence, if I don’t forget to take the camera.

Four luscious pineapples

Four delicious pineapples

A couple of days ago, I bought four pineapples. I love pineapple juice, I haven’t made it yet. So far, I’ve had pineapple dessert, grilled pineapple, pork and pineapple sweet and sour and lunch today was grilled chicken breast with revamped leftover sweet and sour sauce and mashed potatoes. The new stove has been getting a good workout.

It’s a hot day, you’ll have to wait while I go and make some juice.

Delicious, and another pineapple top to plant. I can’t just throw them out, they grow so easily and look great as a pot plant, indoors and out.

The other week I posted about forgetting things on Genes, you know when you go into another room and stand there bewildered wondering why?

It happened to me yesterday. I went into the kitchen and did a couple of things, then wondered why I was there. Walking back through the door into the living room, I remembered, I went to get a drink of cold water. So I returned and got my drink. So it’s true what they say about event boundaries.

I read yesterday that Nestlé was having problems with a downturn in profits. After my post Make you Fink on Friday yesterday dealt with companies responsible for making us fat, then doubling their profits for products that make us thin again, I was not at all sad about the news, I felt somewhat vindicated; and more than pleased as it would appear that people are learning these corporations are the real enemy.

Two... actually

Two… actually

I should blog along, I still have two blogs to go.

Later.

Update:

I forgot to mention that the last hafl glass of pineapple juices fisnished up as a pin√£ colada… double yum! You can tell by the typos… ūüôā

Oh, so Intenso…

Yes, I am continuing on my ‘intense’ coffee streak.

As I explained yesterday today is a public holiday. St George’s Day, the world appears dead outside and it’s 10am. I heard the breadman tooting his horn, but apart from that; nothing!

Even Lixo knows it’s a holiday, after breakfast so far he has slept on the clean washing, he has slept under the coffee table and now he is sleeping on the sofa; he’s a cat, he does a lot of sleeping and he does it well.

Conundrum_red_Wine_zoomI have been rescued from a conundrum.

Not that type of Conundrum, I would hardly need rescuing from that, unless I over-imbibed.

Back in February I lamented about not being able to add one of my favourite widgets, Feedjit, to my WordPress blogs.

Well, last night I got a comment from a kind gentleman, Dante in Italy, who recognised my plight and gave me the link to his post on how to. If you have a need, check his post out, it has an obscure link to Feedjit that works. I promised him an honorable mention in dispatches to go along with my OBE… Other Bugger’s Efforts

I was testing my camera out the other day, and happened to point it at my modest wine rack.

No Conundrum here

No Conundrum here

Pity, I would like some Conundrum.

It has two more bottles on top now. I got a couple of sweet wines for my ex yesterday. She has this nasty habit of taking my good dry wines and adding sugar to her taste. Disgusting habit, I would much prefer that she pick her nose, or something similar than abuse a good dry wine.

She is coming over next Sunday with the whole famn damily to cook Feijoada for lunch.

Image credit - www.canindesoares.com

Image credit – www.canindesoares.com

Now feijoada is a typical Brazilian dish, usually served on Fridays or Saturdays. It’s difficult to explain to a palate not from Brazil. Black baked beans, with meat.

Now it’s the meat that’s the problem. Much of the meat used would make the average western stomach heave with disgust. Pigs ears, trotters and tails for example, they are salted and are actually quite tasty. Other meats include bacon, smoked calabresa sausage, salted pork cuts and ribs.

Almost always served with rice and couve (kale).

Meanwhile, my lunch today will be much simpler. Curried chicken on rice; which I really must consider making. It will be a heavy curry which will necessitate retiring to the botequim for beer o’clock afterwards; and that is probably where I will stay for the rest of the afternoon basking in the sunshine although the air temperature is cool.

 

Not Normal‚ÄĹ

interrobang5gv~s800x800Interrobang ‚ÄĹ

Perplexing, I didn’t know that you could use a question mark and an exclamation mark at the same time. Things like this tend to be unsettling, especially for one who considers oneself as a tad beyond the normal when it comes to language usage.

A SHORT HISTORY

As an advocate of precision in communication, the concept of the INTERROBANG was introduced by Martin K. Speckter in 1962 in an article written for TYPEtalks Magazine.*

The INTERROBANG was created to fill a gap in our punctuation system where writers often used typographically cumbersome and unattractive combinations of the question mark and exclamation mark to punctuate rhetorical statements where neither the question nor an exclamation alone exactly served the writer. (HOW ABOUT THAT?!) – Interrobang

I see that for those who don’t have the interrobang on their keyboard, yes, you can stop looking now, you won’t find it! The symbol is most used in the format !? or ?!

Websters says it like this: “a punctuation mark ‚ÄĹ designed for use especially at the end of an exclamatory rhetorical question”

I must get some practice using my interrobangs, it there, wouldn’t it be rather churlish no to take advantage‚ÄĹ

interrobang1

Today has not yet been particularly productive. I have only posted on three blogs, then I decided I needed some therapy, so I went to the supermarket, shopping is such wonderful therapy; besides the fridge was empty.

One shouldn’t have an empty fridge.

Fridge is now full, I can participate in that strange ritual of eating.

I got home and my students arrived for class. We sat in the shade in the pra√ßa (park) and had a conversation class. We discussed humour and humourous expressions and they learned what ‘a cheeky bastard’ was; I teach all-round English; something that many English teachers fail in. Students went and I did the only sensible thing there was to do; I had a nap.

The time is now 4pm and it appears that I have done nothing. I have coffee, I’ve fed Lixo, who has returned to his habitual sleeping activity. Lixo has discovered a new trick, if he bumps my hand when I am dishing out cat food or milk… he gets an extra ration as spillage.

I must seriously consider how I should use the remaining two hours and a bit until my mode changes to couch potato. In that time, I must consider more posts, beer o’clock and the possibility of eating; all not necessarily in that order.

Later.

I love this ad…

Tried twice and failed

aroqueycheese

You’ll see the reason for the Roquey Cheese below

So here I am.

I was up at six, so it’s not unreasonable that after four hours in front of the PC to have a nap. Just as I was dropping off, my Thunderbird pinged… Oh, somebody loves me! I tried to ignore it, but curiosity and all that.

Then I tried again and in the sluggish moments before the mallet of sleep strikes, “I haven’t taken the fish out of the freezer for lunch.” Ah, forget lunch! I couldn’t, this terrible nagging thought kept returning. There was only one thing for it, get up and take the damned fish out of the freezer.

Now I am bleary eyed and in front of the PC again.

Life was never meant to be easy.

Read a wonderbul story on Lottie Nevin on Being a Bad Mother.

Have drunk two litres of water already. The day started of grey and cool, now it’s hot and dry, very dry.

The hot weather continues. Which I guess is why the house was invaded by two large cockroaches last night; duly dispatched. It’s bad enough when they come in ones. Ugly bloody insects, those and silverfish, they give me the willies. We have other creepy crawlies as well, like millipedes and geckos, but they’re good guys, they eat the other creepy crawlies. I have a resident gecko in the bathroom, we have conversations when I pee.

Who said that? I heard you, “He’s crazy!”

Of course I am crazy, I tried being normal once but it was so boring… so I went back to crazy.

Word Press 101

agravatarsI have noticed in perambulations around Word Press blogs, that many blogs show only crazy little squares, default avatar) instead of a person’s (if they have one) real avatar.

Mine used to do that. It was quite frustrating, until I discovered the secret, and I can’t remember how, but I did.

Try this: Go to your dashboard, settings, discussion.

Scroll down and find this:

aagravatar

You’ll find the G setting on by default. Change it to PG like I have done and ‘save settings’ at the bottom. You should find that you see a lot more avatars.

My case was so frustrating because I couldn’t even see mine, which is why I resolved to resolve the matter.

Now, I’m off to clean up cockroach carcasses, water my plants, put my fur on (that’s what Lixo thinks when I get dressed) and indulge in a tipple, or two…

After all, it is beer o’clock. I’m sick of water, I feel like a parched camel.

When I get back, the fish will have thawed and I am going to make crumbed hake fillets with a Roquefort cheese and caper sauce…

blue-cheese-dressing

Mine will be a little different, kill the mayo, add Colman’s mustard powder, chopped capers and parsley.

Damned Daylight Savings

The time when clocks go into atomic meltdown

The time when clocks go into atomic meltdown

Saturday night Brazil went out of hora da ver√£o (daylight savings, summer time, call it what you like). Yesterday my PC woke an hour before I did and I spent the rest of the day wandering around wondering when I was.

I did, however, enjoy my ‘dead cow’ experience. A leisurely three hour ordeal stuffing myself with the best Brazilian beef beyond what would normally be called one’s capacity. I was back home at 3pm, and the only sensible thing to do was have a nap to escape the heat; so I did the sensible thing.

Today, I woke better adjusted, although it was still dark, I rose with the sun. Everything was fine until I got a snotty remark comment left on my Eco-Crap Monday Moaning about the use of another site’s post. In nine bloggerful years, I have never been chastised in that manner for reposting a post. So, I am miffed, and not entirely disposed to blog further today. I have just rewritten the post and bypassed his references. Part of the reason I am miffed is that I am not entirely certain that I didn’t over react; I don’t feel I did, but will it be perceived that way?

I have given up all thoughts of lunch today. I am still on a ‘beef roll’ from yesterday. Talk about overdosing… I have class at 4pm, I’ll be home about 8pm, by then I should be famished.

Yay! Something to look forward to.

%d bloggers like this: