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I feel behooved

After such a short post today, I feel as though I owe you more.

It was a short BBQ as far as botequim BBQs go, a mere three hours, followed by Nap-fu.

In a post today Andrew was extolling the benefits of newsprint over iPhones on All Downhill from Here.

He was so right, you can’t wrap fish ‘n chips with a screen. His further comment lead me to make this…

DogVomitiPhone-300pxYes, there are times when newsprint wins.

Today’s lunch of grilled bacon slab and aspargus with a wine and cracked pepper sauce was put on hold until tomorrow. The cracked pepper sauce was leftover from yesterday, I’ll reheat it with red wine just for variety.

The prospect of another BBQ on Wednesday as a goodbye to 2014 was mooted and greeted with enthusiasm.

Today it is cloudy. There may be no sun, but it is hot and sticky.

Yesterday was so hot that it made the day before pale into insignifiance. I got sunburned in the shade The weather forecast says we could get a rain storm later, but definitely rain tomorrow.

Having appeased my coscience…

Later.

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The aural trigger is a real phenomenon..

The mere mention of BBQ, and it happens

The mere mention of BBQ, and it happens

I was at the botequim and someone said “BBQ!”

As you can see it is underway. I’m just here to get the chimichurri and last jar of red cabbage sauerkraut.

So this is about what you’re going to get today.

Day’s Eye

I have, however, learned my one thing for the day. The name of the flower daisy, you know, those little white flowers that grow in the lawn, the name daisy is a corruption of ‘Day’s Eyes’ because they close at night and open in the morning. Fact gleaned from A Tramp in the Woods

Headline news for the last three days, George Bush Snr is in hospital… fine. Who gives a hit? I’ve been in hospital twice in my life and it didn’t make international news.

Meanwhile, back to the BBQ.

Later..

Wind Chill

50degreesYesterday’s wind chill was 50ºC+ (that’s like 122ºF)

That sounds weird, doesn’t it?

You see in Portuguese sensaçaõ termica (thermal senastion) translates as wind chill; except we don’t have any ‘chill’. In the south of Brazil, it may be appropriate, but here in Rio, not. The actual temp was 40ºC and we have been threatened promised the same figures for today, or higher.

In fact the worst news is that February promises to be a whole month of these temperatures.

Heaven help us if the botequim runs out of beer again!

It was hot enough in the house to cause this

It was hot enough in the house to cause this

Mercifully, the botequim had chilled beer yesterday. It was the only thing that stopped the neighbourhood from a total meltdown.

I got to thinking during the night.

Danger bells ringing!

We’ve really screwed up Christmas. I’m not refering to the commercialism, etc, but rather the whole Christmas story.

The 25th December is wrong, Jesus wasn’t born in December; remember the shepherds watching their flocks? In December in Palestine the shepherds were not freezing their butts off watching their flocks, the anmals were in the house, on the lower floor, with the shepherds safe and warm on the next floor. It has been estimated that the real birthdate of Jesus was probably about August. Why does the church insist on this? It was to tie the birth of Jesus into the pagan festival, so that the pagans celebrating were fooled into celebrating the birth.

Now look at the nativity scene. It’s wrong too. It is doubted that Bethlehem had an inn for Mary and Joseph to be turned away from. In fact custom dictated that they stay with her relatives, so they would have been housed in a small guest apartment on the roof of the house, or bedded down with the animals on the first floor, not in a yard stable as the story goes. So there goes the story of rejection. This misunderstanding came about as a result of bad translation from the Greek.

Even Santa Caus is wrong. Based on a Turkish bishop who probably never wore red. The red idea comes from Coca-Cola in the 1920s. Red associates with Coke, nothing to do with Christmas.

It’s time we straightened some of this shit out.

For me, 2014 has been a year of changes, not unlike any year. I have changed my socks, underwear, toilet rolls, light bulbs; yes, for me it has been a year of changes.

I have reflected over the past few weeks, if I was to measure the year, I would use corks.

corksYes, corks. These are the corks that represent my year form about April or May. I had a lot more, but gave them away to a neighbour who is doing a project. There was also one that broke under torture as I was applying the thumbcorkscrew, and the one that had to be punched into the bottle because the cantankerous bastard didn’t want to come out.

Yes, corks, a good tangible measure of the years pleasures.

According to the BBC nothing has happened in Australia for three days. Their Australia page hasn’t changed it’s headlines. Which also means that Tony Idiott still hasn’t said or done anything stupid.

Silly Box: In the French Alps 15,000 motorists are stranded in the snow. Come on, with today’s weather forecasting technology, you mean to tell me that wasn’t seen coming!

The chatterbox is unusually quiet today. She’s here, doing her thing, but she’s hardly said a word. Maybe that’s my Christmas present.

I was remended by a comment on yesterday’s post about babies of an old philosophical saying… “Men spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of their lives trying to get back in…” so true. You have to thank Andrew for jogging me with that bit of nostalgia.

I shoulkd go and water the plants, with such a hot day promised, they will be starting their wilt sequence soon.

I should also keep my ears open for that aural trigger… BBQ!

Nothing like a BBQ to excite the neurons.

Later.

The Day was Going Fine

All babies look like frogs

All babies look like frogs

I had blogged almost everywhere, I had replied to all comments, I had cleared my mail box, I had finally finshed the dishes.

The house was like an oven, the botequim still had no beer. I had Nap-fued and when I woke, the beer was being delivered; of course it was warm beer.

I took a well earned break, sitting under the trees with my neighbours enjoying beer from my freezer, and admiring their new born frog baby.

Oh, come on let’s face it, new borns look like frogs; mine did too, but I would have met a fate worse than death had I made such a pronouncement. This was the hairest frog baby I have ever seen; three days old and ready for his first trip to the barber’s.

It was about 3pm… and the frog’s father suggested BBQ.

I sat up straighter and paid more attention than I ever did in Miss Scott’s English class. “What did you say?” Was my response. Adriano looked guiltily at me, “I said BBQ.” His wife glared first at him, then at me. She thinks I am a bad influence and teaching her husband bad habits. Believe me, he needs no teaching.

Anyway, that’s when the day stopped.

The BBQ was underway, there was more beer in the freezer.

And that, dear reader, is why I didn’t post yesterday and the sink is full of dishes again.

I did get to the supermarket yesterday, so there is food in the fridge again, along with some beer.

Silly Box: The Chinese are scared of Christmas. So much so that one university banned Christmas and forced the students to watch three hours of communist propaganda films.

The French have a jobless crisis, no money, but they can find money to buy elephants. Priorities are important.

The pope condemns the persecution of minority religions. There was no mention that the Catholic church was the greatest persecutor a few centuried ago.

I read a blog last night. Some wonderful photos of some idyllic place. But the author had many photos of him in this idyllic place. Why do people have to be in their travel photos? Eleven years travelling all over South America, more than 12,000 catalogued photos, and I don’t appear in a single one. Is this some horrible form of narcism?

My passion fruit vines have had several flowerless days. None of the previous flowers produced fruit, so I am hopeful that the ones due to appear today change the course of recent history

Kim Jong-un berates Obama over the film The Interview. He doesn’t have the right to berate anybody. Many films have been made of despots, but none of them had a tantrum over it.

This is my last post of the day. It is a Saturday, my students cancelled yesterday, so I am free.

nothingI will spend the rest of the day enjoying the hot sun and cold beer.

I will do nothing,

Unless of course, someone mentions BBQ then things could change.

Later, like tomorrow…

Whiskyfied

One should never forget ones rubber ducky

One should never forget ones rubber ducky

You can tell by the spelling in yesterday’s post that I was a little whiskyfied, and that was after Nap-fu… imagine beforehand.

This post may be a long winded affair. Not long as in writing, but from start to finish. I am waiting for Carlinhos to bring Sofie’s photo to include.

I found this paragraph on Prince Charles – HRH of Twitter

The following phrases are only acceptable on Christmas Day:

  • I prefer breasts to legs.
  • If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
  • I’ve never seen a better spread.
  • Don’t play with your meat.
  • Do you want extra stuffing?
  • That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had!
  • Just pull the end and wait for the bang!
  • Are you ready for seconds?

Tickled my fancy. The rest of the post is well worth a read too.

Well the day has ticked away and no sign of Carlinhos.

So let’s move along.

A painful story, one that if it wasn’t so painful, it would be funny… She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.” That’s yours…. the mind fails to register.

Silly Box: Saudi women defying the female driving ban are to be tried in a terrorism court. Come on, it’s high time countries like Saudi Arabia joined the 21st Century. Oh sorry, can’t upset the Saudis, they’ve got all the oil.

More silly box: Turkey’s Erdogan is an egg, a scrambled one. A 16 year old has been arrested for insulting the president. My view is that if the president was insulted, then he deserves to be; and recent events in Turkey have proved it.

Spain’s new King Felipe VI attacks corruption in his Christmas Eve address, but does not mention his sister’s forthcoming tax fraud trial. How remiss… maybe he forgot.

Good news, Tony Idiott of Australia, hasn’t said or done anything stupid for two days.

Zimbabwe is selling elephants. $40,000 each, a bargain if you have need for an elephant. Apparently, China, France and UAE have a need.

Must go and see what the world outside my gate is doing. The botequim was almost out of beer… *Hums the song a Pub with no Beer*

Later.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas Day.

Não fui eu!

Messers Grant and Ballantine's sons

Messers Grant and Ballantine’s sons

“I didnt do it!”

At least not this time.

…I started this post a few moments before the Nap-fu fairies took control; and in my dreams I had a wondrous post to offer, but then I woke but a few moments ago and it’s all gone.

I am blaming the son’s of Mrs Grant and Mrs Ballantine, for had it not been for them… I wouldn’t have needed coffee at 5pm.

Back track…

Noon, blogged a little, woke from Nap-fu. I went to the botequim after a cheese sandwich (fridge is empty). There was some idle chatter and the idea of a BBQ was mooted.

Of course, this appealed to me, admitting that I was duro (broke). Carlinhos (Little Charles) appeared with a bag of charcoal and thrust it in my lap… what was I to do? Of course, I made ready the weapon of choice, the churrasceira (BBQ).

Before he returned, Edlúcio (don’t ask me to explain Brazilian names) arrived with a bag; which was just as well because Carlinhos returned with not meat. The why, I never asked.

Edlúcio proceeded to take over the BBQ, and I produced a bottle of Ballantines, sauerkraut, and ice and soon meat was rolling of the BBQ. It was a change to be BBQed for and not be the BBQer.

Brazilians really are an uncultered lot. They had no idea that sauerkraut (pickled cabbage) existed.

I did learn something. I have always acclaimed that if you don’t learn at least one new thing, the day is wasted. One of the things that Edlucio had was liguiça caseira (homemade sausages) on a stick. I learned that this was a mixture of mincemeat, minced bacon, herbs, onion and mint. Well, talk about delicious…

My half bottle of Ballantine’s was reduced to dribble, Ricardo, who had been given a bottle of Grant’s by another fregües (regular) replaced the gap on the table.

End of the story.

I was sorely in need of another Nap-fu preactice; from which I have just woken.

My eyes feel like sandpaper, the coffee is helping. It really is a wonder drug.

During the course of things. It was demanded that I produce my Father Christmas hat; which was already in the drawer after the weekend to await another Christmas.

I am glad that I succumbed to the demands. Because Sofie would never have met Father Christmas if I hadn’t. Hopefully I will have a photo of this encounter tomorrow, at present it’s on Carlinhos’s tablet.

The title, Não fui eu! was learned fom my Portuguese kids, it means, ‘It wasn’t me!’, that along with Sei lá (Who knows) were learned being the stepfather to Ellen Suelen and Branco (Erick) as being the standard responses to any question involving responsibility for some nefarious act.

vaginacanoeSilly Box: “A Japanese woman who makes art based on her vagina is charged with obscenity” – BBCNews I added the link in case you have an interest in vaginas. This woman has even made a canoe based on her vagina. Imagine rowing down the river in a vagina, there’s food for thought. Personally, I think vaginas are rather beautiful, to consider them obscene is in itself obsecene. Everybody loves orchids… orchids are nothing more than a flower’s vagina. We decorate our homes with vaginas, we get married surrounded with vaginas, when we get buried and they throw vaginas on the coffin; but when a woman exposes her vagina,,, it suddenly becomes obscene. Talk about double standards.

I haven’t looked further for silly stories or news.

The noise from the botequim is beckoning.

Later.

What a Come Down

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Well, fallen, no, sunk so low perhaps.

From the rich debaucheries of the weekend BBQ, to this…

Hotdogs

Hotdogs

But, I am going up-market. They’re going to be battered and deep fried and dipped in ketchup. They will be eaten accompanied by a Chilean Merlot. I will also make some fried onion rings, so that I don’t seem like such a peasant at the bar. One has to share.

My phone hasn’t beeped. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I guess that nothing will be done. Next week there is only Monday and Tuesday, so nothing may get done until the following week. I’m not ringing the lawyer, I’m paying him enough, he can bloody well ring me.

Life goes on…

The moment we have all waited for has arrived. Christmas is here. While I don’t specifically do Christmas, I will take a moment to wish all my visitors, followers and party faithful a…

greenxmasI chose green to get away from the ubiquitous Coca-Cola red. I hate the way coke has highjacked Christmas. I cringe when I see coke ads on TV. I have just one thought in mind…

Coca-Cola makes you fat

Coca-Cola makes you fat

What have I done this morning?

Dishes, not all, don’t want to scare the kitchen. I have mixed mortar and helped lay some bricks. I have had a bottle of beer. I have cleared my conscience and paid my bill at the botequim, much easier than going to confession.

The Guardian has gone back to its old format… So they’re back in my good books; for the moment. I fear that the new format will come and that they were just experimenting.

No silly box today, its too near Christmas, for the same reason no sad news from around the world.

Joe Cocker died. I was never actually enamoured by the singer, but appreciate that a great many people were. R.I.P.

Must get back to the kitchen.

Later.

Yes, I did it again

Started the BBQ at midday.

Finnished the BBQ at 4pm, when we had a rain storm. Also, I had run out of meat.

For those of you who are curious, here is a better shot of ‘seu Oliveira’ along with some pork belly cripsing.

seu Oliveira....

seu Oliveira….

Check yesterday’s post if you are in the dark.

Today is Monday, no meat, no BBQ.

Still doing the weekend dishes.

But I did have a lunchtime beer, followed by Nap-fu. Which is when it started to pitter-patter with rain, now it is persisting down. The rain was expected, as we had watched the heavy clouds come over while having our beer. It was clearly a case of when, not would it.

I have spent the day with my ear glued to the phone, as I had done all day Friday, no phone call from lawyer. So I can only assume that tomorrow will not happen. Am I reprieved?

Silly Box: Today, the Guardian proved itself absolutely useless. I had complained in previous posts that they had changed the format of their ‘Environment’ page, which has stopped me from using it as a principal source of such news. Today they have changed the ‘news’ front page to the same useless jumbled format. I have deleted it from my pages to visit as totally useless as a reference source.

Why must people fix things that aren’t broken?

The Pope has upset the Curia (cardinals administration) in his annual address to cardinals. Accusing them of self-centred infighting and being power hungry to the detriment of the church. While I criticised him for kow towing to China when he refused the Dali Lama an audience, he is generally good for the church; literally a breath of fresh air.

A town in Argentina becomes the first in the country to ban beauty queen competitions in its traditional festivities, arguing they are sexist. Good going.

Australia’s Tony Idiott is back in the news. Quote: “The problem isn’t that Tony Abbott’s stuck in the past, it’s that he wants the rest of Australia to go back there and keep him company in a world where men do the big jobs and women do the ironing,” – BBCNews

Shopping via the internet has become the thing to do. It seems as though its not without problems as several big food companies in Britain have experienced IT problems, and promises that Christmas shopping will be delivered… after Christmas. That’s just lovely if you were expecting to make Christmas dinner for the family.

It’s now after 4pm, the rain has stopped, it is cooler now. I should go and take advantage, because it is still hot in the house, I am sitting under the fan on full.

Later.

Doing it again!

FFtoomanytabsYes, as soon as this post is done. I’ll be doing it all again.

It’s as close to Christmas cheer as I’ll get.

Last night I had to reset FireFox. It got too sluggish. I hate doing it because all my plugins disappear and I have to hunt them and reload them to get rid of the ads and all the trackers. It’s a hassle.

I have been reading about ‘Panic Saturday’, the last Saturday shopping before Christmas. It happened here in Brazil too. Stupid, stupid people. Hundreds of thousands of people out buying Christmas presents. Wild horses couldn’t drag me into town to do this.

Yesterday, I went to town, just the perifery, and it was insane. You couldn’t navigate the footpath for illegal stalls selling all sorts of crap. I eventually got to the butchers, got my stuff and got a taxi the hell out of there as fast as I could.

Silly Box: Raul Castro, Putin and China’s Xi, all qualify collectively for the silly box today. Castro becauses he’s pushing a weel recognised idealogical failure, communism; Putin because he’s a megalomaniac arsehole and driving Russia to the brink with his stupid ideas and Xi because he’s flying the ‘one China’ idea at the expense of the well being of his country ignoring the fact that the Islands of Macau and Hong Kong don’t want anything to do with one freakin’ China.

Right now my mind is dealing with important matters like, what do I put on the grill first. Pork ribs is the answer.

I should put my pants on (just finished Nap-fu practice) and mosey along to the botequim.

I may have photos to post later.

So, later.

I am Ho ho hoing

HohohoingGiven the man-boobs, I have been a busy boy today.

My day has thus far been:

6am up and coffee

8:30am wander off to class

9am – 10:30am being a teacher

10:32am on the bus to town

10:40am at the butcher’s

10:50am taxi home with goodies.

11:15am light the BBQ

until 4pm everything became a blur and desperately needed Nap-fu practice

The table at the botequim

The table at the botequim, pork, liver, beer & whisky

Nap-fu

6:30pm Chilled chocolate drink.

6:40pm… they want to do it again.

6:41pm… ran for home.

I’m not ready to do it again.

Although there are plenty of makings, I will do it again tomorrow.

Right now, I am knackered.

Talk about a foggy mental breakdown.

The funniest comment of the day was when I put a large piece of black pudding (can be seen on the right in the first image) on the BBQ… “OMG, you’ve killed seu Oliveira!” Mr Oliveira, is a popular sprightly 80’s+ man of Afro-Brazilian origin from our neighbourhood, well known by all.

Later.

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