Tag Archive: Australia


Get up and Go!

018a51c4e3402dfd8b77851a41c12bdbWell, my get up and go, got up and went.

The promised rain didn’t last night. I had my last cold shower at 4am and finally managed to sleep three straight hours, until 7am.

I made my penultimate coffee for 2014.

I blogged, as I had aslo blogged at 1am. Got most of my bloogging done.

Watered the plants as they were doing impressive wilt impressions.

I emptied my mailbox, and I was exhausted.

Another day waiting for my phone to beep. It did, my afternoon student just confirming her class.

I wanted to go to the supermarket, read, I had to go to the supermarket; but I didn’t have the energy.

I finally mustered the energy and then waited more than a half hour in the heat for transport. Finally. I went to the gas station to buy cigarettes because our whole neighbourhood is out. More likely they are hoarding old stock to sell at the new price in January… bastards! I needed cash, the Bank 24 Hours was out of money, I’m down to my last R$12.

Supermarket and home.

Hot and sweaty, threw stuff in the freezer and fridge and beat a hasty retreat to the botequim, cold beer and salvation. I also made a couple of ham and lettuce sandwiches so my stomach walls wouldn’t cave in on each other.

Nap-fu…

So, eventually, I did, I got up and went.

The bull wins in a Mexican bullfight, gored the silly girl that was tormenting it. Serves her right; I love it when the bull wins. Pity it didn’t happen more often.

Stating the obvous, Obama said that Putin wasn’t so bright as Russia heads into recession. Should have let Crimea be Crimea, a part of Ukraine.

Cricket happened in Australia, not much else, and no sign of Tony Idiott.

Tomorrow th last day of the year, BBQ. I got a slab of salmon fillet for the BBQ, and some pork belly and ribs, and some liver.

After BBQ, I have been invited to neighbours for the virada (the turning), and yes another BBQ.

Last night the kitchen was doused in the smell of passion fruit flowers; lots of them yesterday.

My sage plant has nearly reached the top of its stick. A landmark that I have been waiting for.

Ipanema Beach yesterday

Ipanema Beach yesterday

We have had four straight days of 40ºC+ with the thermal sensation getting close to 50. People have been swarming to the beaches to escape the heat. Not me, I swarm to the bar; that way I don’t need to wash the sand from my nether regions. Horrible gritty stuff sand; can cause a nasty rash. I commented yesterday to the fregües (regulars) at the bar that going to the beach and having to return home is a waste of an hours drinking time.

Just imagine that if all those people had spent an hour more drinking beer, Brazil’s economy would be back on track.

Preparations for the world’s largest New Year party. Copacabana Beach, 6½ kms, and 2 million people. Me, I stay away; more than ten people at the bar scares me these days. As i get older, I don’t like crowds so much.

Must go, cold shower required.

Later.

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Wind Chill

50degreesYesterday’s wind chill was 50ºC+ (that’s like 122ºF)

That sounds weird, doesn’t it?

You see in Portuguese sensaçaõ termica (thermal senastion) translates as wind chill; except we don’t have any ‘chill’. In the south of Brazil, it may be appropriate, but here in Rio, not. The actual temp was 40ºC and we have been threatened promised the same figures for today, or higher.

In fact the worst news is that February promises to be a whole month of these temperatures.

Heaven help us if the botequim runs out of beer again!

It was hot enough in the house to cause this

It was hot enough in the house to cause this

Mercifully, the botequim had chilled beer yesterday. It was the only thing that stopped the neighbourhood from a total meltdown.

I got to thinking during the night.

Danger bells ringing!

We’ve really screwed up Christmas. I’m not refering to the commercialism, etc, but rather the whole Christmas story.

The 25th December is wrong, Jesus wasn’t born in December; remember the shepherds watching their flocks? In December in Palestine the shepherds were not freezing their butts off watching their flocks, the anmals were in the house, on the lower floor, with the shepherds safe and warm on the next floor. It has been estimated that the real birthdate of Jesus was probably about August. Why does the church insist on this? It was to tie the birth of Jesus into the pagan festival, so that the pagans celebrating were fooled into celebrating the birth.

Now look at the nativity scene. It’s wrong too. It is doubted that Bethlehem had an inn for Mary and Joseph to be turned away from. In fact custom dictated that they stay with her relatives, so they would have been housed in a small guest apartment on the roof of the house, or bedded down with the animals on the first floor, not in a yard stable as the story goes. So there goes the story of rejection. This misunderstanding came about as a result of bad translation from the Greek.

Even Santa Caus is wrong. Based on a Turkish bishop who probably never wore red. The red idea comes from Coca-Cola in the 1920s. Red associates with Coke, nothing to do with Christmas.

It’s time we straightened some of this shit out.

For me, 2014 has been a year of changes, not unlike any year. I have changed my socks, underwear, toilet rolls, light bulbs; yes, for me it has been a year of changes.

I have reflected over the past few weeks, if I was to measure the year, I would use corks.

corksYes, corks. These are the corks that represent my year form about April or May. I had a lot more, but gave them away to a neighbour who is doing a project. There was also one that broke under torture as I was applying the thumbcorkscrew, and the one that had to be punched into the bottle because the cantankerous bastard didn’t want to come out.

Yes, corks, a good tangible measure of the years pleasures.

According to the BBC nothing has happened in Australia for three days. Their Australia page hasn’t changed it’s headlines. Which also means that Tony Idiott still hasn’t said or done anything stupid.

Silly Box: In the French Alps 15,000 motorists are stranded in the snow. Come on, with today’s weather forecasting technology, you mean to tell me that wasn’t seen coming!

The chatterbox is unusually quiet today. She’s here, doing her thing, but she’s hardly said a word. Maybe that’s my Christmas present.

I was remended by a comment on yesterday’s post about babies of an old philosophical saying… “Men spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of their lives trying to get back in…” so true. You have to thank Andrew for jogging me with that bit of nostalgia.

I shoulkd go and water the plants, with such a hot day promised, they will be starting their wilt sequence soon.

I should also keep my ears open for that aural trigger… BBQ!

Nothing like a BBQ to excite the neurons.

Later.

Bun in the Oven

Bun in the Oven

Bun in the Oven

Well, it’s not actually a ‘bun’.

I know what you are all thinking… “Silly old duffer has done it again!” No. 14 on the way.

I have sole fillets poaching… Lunch.

Bousous Weblog has just been having a field day in my blogs and spread ‘Likes’ around like crazy. All appreciated of course, especially as it’s taken another post to the dizzying heights of 21 Likes. Go and check his blog out, very funny. Most in French, but the humour is not lost.

The smell of lemon zest is wafting through the house, *Mouth waters*

My shrimp omelettes yesterday were delish.

Shrimp omelettes for breakfast

Shrimp omelettes for breakfast

Expensive, but delish.

There’s not a lot happening today. Yesterday, I escaped unscathed for a Monday.

It was decided by two votes to nothing that my beautiful tree in the park is an acacia. Thank you for that. I had never knowingly met an acacia before.

The Australians have killed a knife weilding terrorist suspect. Abbott idiot can go back to sleep again. Some guy in India jumped into the moat around a tiger enclosure; another idiot. The tiger assumed it was lunchtime. ‘Crucial’ climate talks begin in US, lot of hot air, can only add to our problems until they start talking seriously. There’s a row in Ecuador as to where the stuffed tortoise from the Galapagos Islands should come to rest; Quito or be returned to the Galapagos. You see there are some really important issues at stake.

The news was interupted by…. Lunch.

A gay mosque opened in Cape Town last week was closed because it didn’t have any parking spaces….  China has been selling tools for torture. Apprently, Queen Elizabeth purrs, according to the prime minister when she heard the news of the Scots independence vote. I wonder if she likes a good tummy rub too?

Now to tie of, we all enjoy a good Gregorian Chant…

I found this on Lenny Says yesterday.

Enjoy.

A chant for every mother that’s ever been.

Later

Muggy

GHWYes, it’s muggy. Not hot, but very humid. I am sitting here in my underpants….

Oh shit, you didn’t read the warning, did you!

…sweating at 8am.

And the day promises to get hotter.

Last night, I had pizza for supper. I had planned a full meal, but after late class and a later beer, I decided that pizza was less time and effort.

breakfastSo, breakfast this morning, I took the advice of Foul Bachelor Frog (see Tuesday’s posts on Nether Region of the Earth III) and had a ready prepared snack in the fridge.

Although, I did make it more breakfasty by spreading cream cheese on it.

Quite yummy.

In my younger days we didn’t have pizza like today. There were no Pizza Huts or pizzas in the supermarkets, so we didn’t have the same advantages of today’s youths where cold pizza competes with cornflakes as a breakfast food I can, however, recommend it.

The carefree life of a bachelor. Nobody watching over your shoulder muttering “That’s disgusting!”

Remember those pork steaks from yesterday, they didn’t get schnitzeled. I have that ready for today. The kids didn’t arrive for their class yesterday, I tried ringing the ex, but kept being diverted to the message box; I guess she’s out of credits again and has the cellphone off.

I’m still waiting for the techy-type to change my standby monitor for a standby standby monitor and take my second LCD away to see if that can be repaired. The original LCD monitor seems to have a protection problem that is causing him some grief. Probably more to do with planned obsolescence. The second LCD I think is a power (on/off switch) problem which may/may not be easier to tackle, and therefore speedier. He’s behaving like a Brazilian… Oh, wait, he is Brazilian.

Headline news, some idiot tried to swim to North Korea… How obtuse can you be? North Koreans are trying to escape the clutches of the mental little brat that runs the place, and he tries to go there….

Yes/No The noes have it. Scotland stays in the United Kingdom. Apparently they will still be allowed to toss cabers.

cabertossingfunnyAnd blow into udders…

bagpipesto annoy the neighbours.

Image, also BBC

It must be sad living in a country with no sense of humour – “Six Iranians arrested for appearing in a video dancing to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy have been sentenced to up to one year in prison and 91 lashes, their lawyer says”. – BBCNews.

Yesterday, I mentioned the IS threat of beheading a random Australian. Well, today they have increased security at parliament, Tony Abbott doesn’t want to considered ‘random’. He’s already considered an idiot, adding random to that would just be overboard.

Sushi ko-  whale meat

Sushi ko – whale meat

More sushi than science: Japan is flying in the face of the IWC ruling banning it’s scientific sushi whaling expeditions.

Apparently you can also get whale’s balls…

Actually they are korokke made with whale meat as a form of croquette.

There is actually some doubt as to whether the whales ever get scrutinised by scientists and the whole thing is commercial whaling in disguise.

Check out this chart, I believe it is classed as scientific research.

Whale Scientific Research

Whale Scientific Research

It is about here that I run out of steam and inspiration.

Later.

No Chunky Bits

firstgoesmemoryI had three titles for today’s post, I forget what the other two were now, which is why you got this one.

I didn’t have dinner last night. So I woke this morning with the worms gnawing and they needed instant gratification.

First, two bits of toast with requeijão (cream cheese); then two bits of toast with geleia da laranja (marmalade). That’s where the problem was. I bought a new brand of marmalade in the interests of economy, a larger jar at less price. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be thrifty. This marmalade was the consistancy of honey, no chunky bits of peel, and bugger all flavour. In fact it was more like syrup. I now have to wait twice as long before I get real marmalade again.

I am still waiting for my techy bloke to come with a standby standby monitor. No that’s not a repeat, I am using a standby monitor, and I need a standby for it.

I also need more coffee.

The cold snap finished overnight. The day is sunny, but not yet warm. It won’t reach Monday’s 39, but is forecast to be over 31. I should water the plants as the rain we got was pathetically little.

The new R$2 note, nearly a dollar's worth

The new R$2 note, nearly a dollar’s worth

Another day, another dollar, as the saying goes, I begin my three day stint of classes. Which tonight means that I will miss a vital episode of the novela (soap opera), things are coming to a crunch. It’s not something that I’ll cry about, the missing, not the crunch…  Beer money is more important.

I also have my daughters coming over for a freebie English lesson after school. I have to print off their lesson yet…

Bugger, the net is down again. It has already happened once this morning…

There, it’s back again. Moving right along…

Australia has had some threats from IS to stage a public beheading of a random Australian. Apparently, they have quite a few sympathisers there of IS. The idea would shake Australians to the core. So far away from the action, and it comes home to roost. They have made some arrests connected with the threat. I find the whole issue of IS quite reprehensible. In Britain, 100 Imams have published a letter to IS for clemency of another British aid worker threatened with beheading. They say that a man who gives aid for suffering should be revered and not killed.

Ebola is becoming frightening. The US is ready to take drastic action against those suspected of the virus within US borders, including forceful innoculation and detention.

pork_steaks

Pork steaks… nom nom nom

Lunch today will be a little fancier than yesterday. I have three lovely fatty pork leg steaks to pund and make pork schnitzel. Probably have one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for tomorrow.

After this post, I might go for an amble about the park. I really need to get more exercise, by then it will be Nap-fu practice until the girls arrive.

Later.

I’m not ready for bed yet

The bule is ready

The bule is ready

1:30am, mumble, mumble!

I’ve tried twice, both times miserable failures.

Three posts up. I am seriously considering coffee. The bule (coffeepot) is ready.

It needs only the flick of a lighter on the gas to become reality.

The world is going mad. Tonight on TV, you won’t believe this… Father Freaken’ Christmas! Ho ho ho!

It’s only just August!

I thought we had at least another month of sanity left; maybe even six weeks. I have never seen Santa Claus this early before. It should be illegal. It’s disgusting. He should be in jail for perpetrating Christmas sales this early.

Just goes to show the plight of the economy when they have to revert to advertising Christmas this early to generate business. 2008 recovery, there never was a recovery. All the data and good news is just government ‘feel good’ bullshit.

My sparkling mineral water bottle is empty… time to light up the gas.

Clorinha has a definite ear for the fridge door.

Wot du yu meanz, therz no fresh meats?

Wot du yu means, ther’z no fresh meats?

I am convinced that she doesn’t have ears, rather she has radar antenna.

A hungry kid couldn’t hear the fridge door as far away as she can.

The worst part is, sometimes she doesn’t wait for the fridge door, she gets there before me; talk about prescience.

Part of the reason I can’t sleep is that I had a late Nap-fu practice this afternoon/evening. The other part of the reason is I had ham salad for dinner again and all I want to do is burp and fart. Damned rabbit food!

Israel has run out of tunnels. That was the premise for invading Gaza, now the story goes, “we’ll continue until our mission is finished”. Further confirmation that they’re only interested in wiping out the Palestinians.

thaustcoinI see that Australians are asking, “Do we need a queen?”

They may want to become a republic, think, Tony Abbot could become president just like Obama; horrible thought!

thfairy

Australia has lots of queens

But the problem is, that if they get rid of Queen Liz, there’s plenty of other queens to go round.

So it’s rather a case of one queen or another.

Mincing right along…

I need my head read.

Being up at this hour of the morning entertaining the world, well, at least 14 or 15 of you.

Coffee finished, ciggy out, time for my beauty sleep.

Later.

 

 

Dead Man’s Chest

Loverly plonk

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, ah wine!

This wine, in fact ——–>

I put yesterday’s theory to the test and had a bottle of wine with lunch, then after lunch and for afternoon tea. By that time the bottle was empty.

I was still quite lucid and hadn’t forgotten anything, least of all the fact that I live next door; so I conclude that red wine, at least, is good for the memory.

The test for white wine will take place another day without classes.

After lunch, I took the bottle and my wine glass to the botequim, Raimundo looked at me askance as I announced I was bringing a touch of class to his humble bar.

He’s quite used to the eccentricities of his foreign neighbour, so didn’t bat an eyelid as I hauled a plastic chair off the pile and sat at the table on the veranda to pour another glass.

I sat there for the afternoon quaffing my Merlot in the afternoon sun.

I had a successful day yesterday; I successfully shattered a glass ashtray on the bedroom floor. It wasn’t one of those planned thingies. As I emptied it in the trash can, I clipped the edge of the table and it went sailing magnificently through the air to shatter quite spectacularly on the slate floor.

My immediate thought was, “Bugger, well that’s one less to wash!”

Lethargy – one of my commenters appraised lethargy as being a sophisticated way of saying ‘fat, lazy slug’. The subject was 40ºC+ temps of a Spanish summer. While we all strive to be sophisticated, sometimes ‘fat, lazy slug’ just fits the bill perfectly.

Have you had your oprectomy yet?

Anyone in there?

Anyone in there?

Another comment on another blog wrote about another ‘ectomy’ operation that he had undergone, which reminded me of a historic cartoon in the days before hard drives.

Basically, it described this delicate oprectomy as an operation that severs the cord that connects your eyeballs to your rectum to remove your shitty outlook on life.

This small operation improves one’s life immensely.

There, that’s enough medicine for the day.

Not only Japan!

Not only Japan!

Stupidity

Proof that the human race learns nothing.

The Japanese are looking at restarting two reactors…

Shit, haven’t they done enough damage to the planet with Fukushima?

IMHO, any country that has earthquake risks and tidal waves should be banned from even thinking about nuclear energy.

Australia have abandoned the carbon tax. Tony Abbot is a wanker taking the country back to the stone age. Now he wants to pay the carbon producing industries to control their carbon output; how twisted is that? Paying the criminal not to steal…

A fridge should have more than just beer

A fridge should have more than just beer

Sunny still day out there, I haven’t given lunch a thought… there’s no lunch in the fridge to think about.

I could, of course, rectify that, but it means putting on more than my underpants. Now is that lethargy, or just being a fat, lazy slug?

I conclude from the ‘Likes’ on my last two posts, that my readers are more interested in the bowels of my camera and my voices than vaginas and arseholes…

Let’s see what they make of a post in which I said ‘rectum’.

Now, just because I have mentioned arseholes and rectums in two subsequent posts, don’t go jumping to the conclusion that I have a rectal fixation. The only connection I have with my rectum is between me and the toilet paper and the toilet paper isn’t talking.

Just enough time to have a nap, before I don’t have lunch.

Later.

A Poop in the Corner

Yes, she hid under the kitchen sink where I couldn’t reach her and she pooped in the corner… The broom wasn’t handy, so she got away with it. The broom is now parked in the kitchen.

Steak N EggsSteak ‘n eggs for breakfast. I was sorely tempted to open a bottle of wine to complete the debauchery, but I resisted, I fought with myself internally and opted for sparkling mineral water and ice.

It was more of a brunch really. I woke hungry from my nap at 11am.

After lunch I watered the plants, they were doing a great impression of dying. Well, not actually ‘dying’ but doing a distinct wilt.

tbirdI had to shut down and do a CHKDSK, something had crashed in my Thunderbird email client and I couldn’t delete mails.

Things were a bit sluggish too, and it fixed that.

So I killed a bird and a slug with one stone.

With all the crap about Brazil not being prepared for the FIFA World Cup, it looks like it’s going to be the same for the Olympic games. Just two years away and some venues haven’t even been started.

Scandal: Tamiflu, the wonder flu drug, appears to be no more effective than Paracetamol. And, the Brits have spent a cool £473m on stockpiling the stuff. Who’s been conned then?

The news is full of Pistorius this, Pistorius that. I heartily sick of Pistorius, I don’t give a damn, tell us when they find him guilty or not. I don’t want to know every sordid detail. It’s boring.

God is angry at the Australians for culling sharks. He’s sent a typhoon to punish them on Friday night and ruin the weekend.

The hunters of MH370 have another beep. So they are narrowing down the search area. Makes it more likely that they’ll find their flight recorder and find out what happened to the flight.

It’s another nice sunny autumn day out there, makes one think that they should be out there enjoying it. The beer truck has been, so I know that the botequim has beer; now there’s a thought.

Later.

Here’s a thought for the day…

brain-outstanding2

 

Battle Scarred

warningcoffeeCloro has become a big boy now.

Like any boy who has his first knee scrape or bloodied nose, he is a veteran, a grown-up boy.

He came home yesterday from a night out with three small scars on his left ear, he’s going to have to learn to block with the left and claw with the right.

Today my stats turned over. Not one blog achieved 1,000 true hits, two did but that was the work of the wankerbot from Montreal in Canada, so they’re not counted.

Yesterday’s post on homemade fanta, one comment sent me to this link. I’ve seen it before, and I’m sure I have posted it, but not here. I think it is great.

fanta+sea.+the+wise+words+of+an+8+year+old_c9f88f_3842252Well worth another showing.

greencheesemoonMankind has ravaged the planet and raped it for resources. So much so that there are things we are running out of and less habitats to destroy.

China has the solution, let’s ruin the Moon. It is reported that China could be mining on the Moon within ten years.

I hope they like green cheese.

The rain is persisting…. again.

So today will be spent indoors. Seems like the sensible thing to do. Cloro is certainly not impressed. Neither am I, today is laundry day, not at all good for drying even though it is hung in the carport.

There is often debate about homosexuality, such debate is normally centred more around the male, although LGBT makes itself known, with lesbians coming in third. I read this morning that more and more women are turning to lesbian relationships in the last 20 years. To me this means a big ‘FAIL’ that we men are doing it wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against lesbians, in fact two of my more exciting sexual partners were lesbians; believe me lesbian sex is great, even if you aren’t a lesbian. Oh, and they weren’t the fabulously contrived threesomes that men often dream about.

Sad to report… Rugby League World Cup final: Australia hammer New Zealand 34-2 to regain trophy in style at Old Trafford. Not that I am a rugby league fan, it’s still sad to see the home country get trounced, and trounced in style.

Santa Claustrophobia, an annual malady. Something I don’t suffer from because I basically ignore Christmas. I was asked last night by my sister what I was doing for Christmas. Nothing, watching TV like any other night, blogging like any other day.

Right now it’s breakfast time. Fresh bread rolls and marmalade with more coffee.

Later.

 

I Have a Drinking Problem

empty-beer-glass

My glass is empty, that’s a problem.

It’s the weekend for me already, Last class last night, no classes today. The chances are I’ll have no classes on Monday either. So I aim to make the most of the weekend.

It’s 10:30, I had aimed at making an early start. I have to go into town and get my printer cartridges refilled and get my book, which I managed to finish printing yesterday, bound so I can start the massive job of proofreading.

BF

Hardly the same crowds as US

Interesting thing about Brazil, it’s a copycat country. The USA has Black Friday, so Brazil has to have Black Friday.

Watching TV last night while I enjoyed a BBQ dinner at my favourite restaurant, the ads showed many stores with Black Friday specials.

What a load of bollocks! Most of the special were nothing more than their ordinary prices, some were further discounted, but nothing like the scale of discounts that appear in US stores.

The Brazilian formula seems to work like this; double the price and deduct 70%. The prices compared with US are a joke.

classical musicI read a disturbing post a couple of days ago exhorting the demise of classical music. Basically saying that classical music should disappear, that it wasn’t music any more.

Another load of bollocks!

Much of what I hear today bears no resemblance to music at all; and certainly won’t entertain the masses for 200, 300, 400 years as has classical music. Most of today’s music dies out very quickly, thankfully.

Mortified, during the week I posted a photo of my ‘TV stand’ showing off the latest addition to the hodge podge clutter of various items rescued from the street. One comment pointed out that my reflection could be seen in the TV screen proving once and for all, bloggers blog in their underpants. OMG, how embarrassing.

The Aussies made him clean it up

The Aussies made him clean it up

This burk Bieber, needs to be taken in hand.

Now he has upset the Aussies by pinchando painting graffiti on a hotel wall.

First it was Brazil, then Argentina; this idiot has a problem that is worse than his ‘music’.

I heard that if you play Bieber backwards is sounds Satanic, but what is even worse, if you play it forward it sounds like Bieber- Eeeeew!

It’s now 11am, I really should hobble off and do what I must do.

Later.

 

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