Tag Archive: bacon


I feel behooved

After such a short post today, I feel as though I owe you more.

It was a short BBQ as far as botequim BBQs go, a mere three hours, followed by Nap-fu.

In a post today Andrew was extolling the benefits of newsprint over iPhones on All Downhill from Here.

He was so right, you can’t wrap fish ‘n chips with a screen. His further comment lead me to make this…

DogVomitiPhone-300pxYes, there are times when newsprint wins.

Today’s lunch of grilled bacon slab and aspargus with a wine and cracked pepper sauce was put on hold until tomorrow. The cracked pepper sauce was leftover from yesterday, I’ll reheat it with red wine just for variety.

The prospect of another BBQ on Wednesday as a goodbye to 2014 was mooted and greeted with enthusiasm.

Today it is cloudy. There may be no sun, but it is hot and sticky.

Yesterday was so hot that it made the day before pale into insignifiance. I got sunburned in the shade The weather forecast says we could get a rain storm later, but definitely rain tomorrow.

Having appeased my coscience…

Later.

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Wine Pairing Conundrum

BBQ hotdogs

BBQ hotdogs

I have four hotdogs in the fridge for lunch.

How do I cook them, and what wine do you serve with hotdogs and ketchup?

Or is that being too much of a peasant?

I am thinking of BBQing them to add an air of respectability, made even more respectable by wrapping them in bacon. Ah, bacon… the duct tape of cuisine.

But there still remains the question of what wine do I open?

The taxing decisions one must make on a Sunday…

So much for a day of rest.

Door knockers

Door knockers

Bloody pedlars of religion! Yes, on a Sunday, shouldn’t they be in church and not knocking on my gate ruining my inspiration?

Now, where was I?

I hate door knockers!

My 1,002 Twitter followers was short lived, and getting shorter… 998/997/998/996.

I have noticed recently when visiting new blogs that some are so complicated.

Really, you need a GPS to navigate some.

I just click and get out of there, can’t be bothered, even if some of the content appears good; the complications detract.

I try to keep my blogs simple, classy but simple to navigate, just a couple of pages and the main blog with a side column.  Some blogs have a plethora of pages with titles so long they could be a book in their own right; why?

600px-Firefox_logo.svgI hate this new FireFox! Ever since they moved the navigation and favourites bars it has become a nightmare.

Another complication issue.

If it’s working okay, don’t freakin’ well fix it.

Headline news: Some boxing celeb, Malone,  has changed sex; he’s now a she. I hope he/she is happy now.

But do we really need to know this?

I feel a Nap-fu coming on…

My Nap-unfued…

And I am no further ahead with something to write.

I had hoped that there would be a BBQ at the botequim, which would have made it not necessary to light my own for lunch. As the sky has clouded over during my Nap-fu, I am debating the issue in my head. Forget about lunch and just have the wine…

It’s Sunday, after all, who cares?

Before I go, I’ll leave you with this thought. As an English teacher I was amused, it tickled my fancy; I do like my fancy tickled occasionally.

longestsentence

Later.

 

 

This is not a face palm

Thinking

Merely thinking

I haven’t interacted with another member of the species yet today, therefore nothing warrants a face palm.

I am merely thinking.

After some years of Twitting, I finally got 1,000 twits to follow me. Actually, it rather fluid, 999, then 1,000, a boost to 1,002, dropped back to 1,000 thereby threatening my record. It may well be to no avail, I read the other day that Twitter is going to become more FaceBook-like, if that happens… I’m gone!

Yesterday was Sunday, sunny and sodden. I managed to drown a friend’s cellphone when I accidentally kicked the plastic bar table and knocked his energetic drink over it.

_76720072_tortoiseap

How much ‘chasing’ was involved?

US police detain giant tortoise after brief chase captures the imagination, doesn’t it?

I mean the tortoise was hardly galloping along, now was it?

Or was this really a case of how inept are the LA police?

On what charges was he detained on?

Really, this is headline news.

One thing that has been successfully achieved with Israel’s invasion of Gaza, is the lowering of Israel’s global credibility. All I read about the conflict tells me that governments everywhere have condemned the slaughter, even the USA.

The world is NOT amused. Sympathy for the Palestinians is at an all time high.

Good work Benny!

Image: BBC

Now, it is with some amusement that I read about a Brussel sprout being pushed up a mountain.

This really is headline news.

Never before has some stooped so low in the realms of stupidity as to push a Brussel sprout up a mountain with his nose!

Of course, it had to be an Englishman.

One of my achievements during the weekend was to take a serious photo with my cellphone. Only because I had left the camera at home.

Our hill

Our hill, taken from the veranda of the botequim

We have a hill in our neighbourhood, that tells the weather better than the forecasters.

The rule is simple, if the top of the hill has cloud, it’s going to rain, or is raining; no cloud, no rain.

It’s a bit like the famous weather stone, ‘if the rock is wet, it’s raining.’

You can tell by the blurry nature of the photo that the cellphone will never become my primary photographic device.

It’s a few minutes shy of midday. Today should have been a supermarket day, or not. I chose the second option. I won’t die of starvation, I have hotdogs and cheese. I could have had fish, if I had remembered to take it out of the freezer.

There was a query in yesterday’s comments about how my coffeepot worked, here my reply for the edification of others who had perhaps wondered. “it’s just a cloth filter, the hard part is lifting the kettle and pouring the water into it. You see there is an element of manual labour involved, that’s why it’s not popular in the First World, but it does make shit hot coffee.”

The latest in technology…

Bacon Chips

Bacon Chips

With that, I’ll blog along.

Later

My Wheelie Weally Works

Remember yesterday I had problems with the wheelie thingy on my new mouse, well a reboot solved the problem; the vagaries of PCs. Any way it remembered how to scroll.

The good news, I survived another Monday.

CatMouse2Andrew commented that Clorinha looked like she was “trying to hug the mouse to death.” Maybe training aids aren’t the way to go. I might add that mouse was already dead and Clorinha was just doing what cats do; maybe she instinctively knew it was a dead mouse.

There is also the horrifying thought that she might try to kill the mouse attached to the PC.

Not a lot has happened so far this morning.

I made the coffee, does that count?

Lunch, well I have two pre-weinered schnitzels quietly desiccating in the back of the fridge, so I guess that’s it. Have to use them before they are tough enough to add straps and use as emergency flip flops.

.

Yoda-I-smell-bacon-meme-funny-1egQI will glue them together with Brie and bacon, Cordon Bleucon… and cook them off in the oven.

Spent last night programming my new cellphone, setting the date, etc. Now that may seem rather mundane, but never-the-less a challenge when you are somewhat technology illiterate and the instructions are in Portuguese. It is the most update tech that I have, I believe that my new phone can do things that I never dreamed of. If it can make good coffee in the morning and serve it in bed, I’ll marry the damned thing.

This is a black box

This is a black box

I see the pro-Russian rebels have surrendered the ‘black boxes’ from MH17.

But the pictures showed orange thingies…

Why are black boxes orange?

There is so much in life to think about.

And this…

black-box-l3

Is neither black nor a box, although it does have a small box attached.

I see my recent posts have 9, 10 or 11 ‘Likes’. I am convinced this fall off is because I have not included sex… no rectums, no arseholes, no vaginas…

Moving right along.

Sunny day again, not hot, not cool.  The praça is full of kids, I haven’t seen them, but the air is blue with the language of boys flying their kites, and the swings are squeaking. That’s enough evidence.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with a photo of a friend of mine. Alan lives in the Pantanal.

AlanPantanal

Sunbathing on the beach by the campsite

Alan is about three metres long, he is a Black Paraguayan Cayman, quite friendly, accepts hugs. No, really, if you’re careful you can hug him.

Off for my Nap-fu practice

Later.

 

To Scale a Mountain

No, not Mt Everest

No, not Mt Everest

Yes, I have to scale a mountain.

No, it’s not a Mt Everest type mountain, I am referring to the pile of dishes that is htaunting me from the kitchen sink.

Had BBQ, was delicious.

I am going to delicious again today with the leftovers. But I have to conquer Mt Dishes first.

I was going to take a photo, but I decided I was too ashamed to let you see the devastation.

A comment yesterday, gave me something to think about. Sean expressed a level of envy at my lifestyle. I had never thought about that before. I had always considered that my lifestyle was rather mundane, soaked in wine, but ordinary. That someone could be jealous, never occurred to me. Perhaps, my eleven years travelling around South America and having all sorts of adventures, could make some jealous. But the tedium of beer, BBQ and dishes… nah!

It’s going to be another tedious day.

Cloudy, but not the rainy sort of cloudy, just the type of cloudy that takes the heat out of the sun type cloudy.

I am behind in replying to comments, again. I’ll have to get on with them after this post. It beats doing the dishes for another 10 minutes.

I saw this the other day…

dehydratedwater

Then I saw this…

Instant-Underpants_o_50618

Really makes me wonder what is happening on this planet.

And then some idiot did this…

giantgag.com-funny-it-said-put-it-in-the-oven-at-120-degrees-01

And now we have…

gaybacon

Well, I hope you had a laugh, it’s good for body and soul.

Later.

 

A Bacon Moment

baconloveYesterday’ lunch was a ‘bacon moment’, absolutely delicious and one that I’ll be repeating soon. *Makes note: buy more bacon*

With 11 Likes, it just goes to show that you don’t need testicles and penises in a post to get likes. You are all absolved…

I see MSM got it stuffed up again in the stories of Brazilian prostitutes being sent to Europe and Africa via human trafficking. The girls being trafficked were not prostitutes, but they were required to prostitute themselves at their destinations after being lured there by false promises. I do wish MSM could get their shit right.

Horrific news… McDonald’s is not going to use Heinz sauce any more after 60 years of doing so. The apocalypse is nigh.

A sad Merkle - image BBC

A sad Merkle – image BBC

Merkle was shocked to find that US had been spying on her phone since 2002, Obama denies everything; NSA chief says we didn’t tell him This morning it seems they spied on 60 million Spanish communications in just one month. I wonder who will be next?

Been a slow start this morning. I don’t like rushing headlong into Mondays, best to take it quietly and sneak up on them. The coffee is good. Lunch will be a pork something with the remainder of the mushrooms; maybe a curry in another slap-dash. Leftovers, bacon & asparagus for dinner. Then I must use the pork ribs tomorrow.

Windy overnight, tried to rain a bit, cool and sunny this morning. I haven’t napped yet, but Cloro is doing it now on the printer.

10:45, time fore breakfast, asparagus on toast and more coffee.

Later.

Cloro heard me type breakfast, she’s at the door with a well-what-are-you-waiting-for look on her face.

 

Sunday Slap-Dash

No burning penises or loose testicles in this post, if that’s what turns you on (must be I got so many likes on the last two posts) then I suggest you desist now before disappointment sets in and becomes a moribund fascination…

Sunday is a day to relax.

Unless of course you are religiously tainted, then its a mad panic to scrub the kids and make them look presentable before heading of to church to be relieved of the horrendous angst accumulated through the week. Then you don’t get a chance to relax

ConchayToroRiesling

Great Chilean plonk

But on Sunday I have the luxury of relaxing, because I am not so tainted.

I have blogged today, I have napped today, I have watered the plants today and I have turned the compost over… This is called relaxing.

Having had a replete morning relaxing, I decided on lunch; which one tends to do if one missed breakfast. Well, I had three steaming mugs of coffee.

With my thoughts turned toward lunch, I remembered a recipe I saw yesterday on Kitchen Ventures. I had some of the ingredients, and had to improvise on others.

Prosciutto, for example became bacon.

Asparagus retained its original identity, albeit from a jar.

I didn’t have any wild mushrooms, but they were pretty pissed off by the time I put them in the pan.

Heavy cream became, well, cream.

White wine became a Chilean Cocha y Toro Riesling.

The rest of the ingredients more or less resembled themselves.

The first step in my Seared Prosciiuttoless Asparagus etc… was the wine. The chosen wine needs to breathe. So, open the wine and check; if it’s not breathing, give it mouth to bottle resuscitation.

what i started with

what I started with

I like cooking with wine. As on this occasion, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Once one has ascertained that the wine is, in fact, breathing. One slices good thick rashers off the block of bacon and cooks off to a crisp orangy-goldy colour, which is about the stage before burnt-to-a-crisp.

Take the bacon out and set aside.

bacon

Add oniony garlicky mushroomy things to bacon fat with a sprinkle of rosemary.

stuffinthepan

Stuff in the pan

Cooked off to golden colour, add wine… add a splash more just to be sure.

Reduce… (that does NOT mean tasting it yet!)

While that is reducing, layer the asparagus on the bacon in the tray.

Check that the wine is still alive.

Add pseudo ‘thick cream’, stir, while it thickens a bit, make toast. (Yes, I know this wasn’t in the original recipe!)

Pour sauce over asparagus and bacon, allowing the hot sauce to reheat the bacon and asparagus.

offendingproduct

Offending mixture

Divide off about half the offending mixture and serve on hot buttered toast.

It is about this time that the remaining wine, whether breathing or not, should be dispatched humanely and put out of its misery.

That is a slap-dash, because everything is slapped in the pan with a dash of this and a dash of that. You’ll notice that I haven’t included measurements; if you know what you are doing, they’re irrelevant.

Consume ravishingly while watching The Incredibles. I don’t have cable so I had no choice. The wine makes them bearable.

The rest of the day to relax…

Later, much later.

I thought about it…

bacon-and-eggs

I lacked half the ingredients

Yes, I thought about bacon and eggs for breakfast, but I lacked half the ingredients, eggs. So that idea went by the board.

So I had coffee, blogged and a nap.

Hamburgers for lunch, cheese bacon and mushroom, yum yum.

Brazilian restaurants are racing against time. Next week the Confederations Cup begins, then in 2014 FIFA World Cup. This means that there are going to be a lot of visitors who have no notion of Portuguese; and waiters who have similar ideas about English, em passe. Some restaurants are getting their menus translated, some have recruited English teachers, and some have had their fare loaded onto tablets with translation facilities and images of the food.

This is picanha, alcatra, contra-file, etc

This is picanha, alcatra, contra-file, etc

One restaurant has the novel idea of stuffed animals.

The customer doesn’t know, the waiter can’t explain, he simply shows a stuffed cow for beef.

They even have a stuffed Kermit, because carne da rã (frog portions) is popular here and many restaurants serve it.

Cooler today, I haven’t tried to turn the sun off… there is no sun, somebody beat me to it.

The Americans have finally found a civilised use for drones instead of bombing the shit out of Pakistan and such places…

beer-delivery-drone-600x338

Technology should be used for peaceful purposes.

Later.

 

Life is Leftovers

I need one of these on my keyboard

I need one of these on my keyboard

I woke at six, I prepared to blog.

The laundry lady came and she laundried, and left.

I had intended to go to the supermarket when she left, but I had her wash the shorts I wanted to use.

Deep procrastination set in despite the four cups of coffee I had had since I woke. Normally this would be enough to fortify through the most strenuous of days. I did the only sensible thing, I napped.

Having napped and still suffering from procrastination, I have decided that the supermarket can wait until tomorrow.

Bacon & mushroom, yum yum

Bacon & mushroom, yum yum

Last night, due to an empty  fridge, I ordered pizza. Bacon and mushroom with olives. I tried a new pizzaria (pizza parlour, for those who can’t figure out such complexities on a Sunday, and Americans), Della Massa, their leaflet came in the mail box. They had a web site, I chose my pizza and filled out the on-line purchase form and waited; and waited, and waited…. Finally, I was sick of waiting; I rang them… Oh we didn’t get your email order. I repeated it over the phone and I waited, and waited, and waited some more.

Nearly an hour passed, and on hearing a motorbike in the street (all these places use a motorbike for deliveries) I wandered to the gate despite him not tooting. There was the delivery guy outside the botequim lost; I had used the botequim as a reference point. One of the locals pointed at my gate. I got my pizza while complaining about the service, or at least the lack of it. The guy told me that someone had taken the computer home… Typically Brazilian, how do you expect to take email orders when you haven’t got a computer?

I ate half the pizza. There was a time when I would have demolished the lot and looked around for more, but age has taken its toll. Gluttony is not something that I would go to purgatory for, I just don’t have the capacity anymore. I could still get to purgatory for a bit of coveting, age hasn’t affected some things. Tatiana, my first Brazilian partner, nearly sent me there for a bit of coveting… she caught me ogling the girls as we walked downtown; I simply responded that she had nothing to worry about until I started ogling the guys. That settled the matter, it was never mentioned again.

So lunch today is leftover pizza. I was wondering if it would be considered debauchery if I had a nice wine with that.

Blogging right along….

There should be a Sunday Travel Tales later, that would depend on the toll taken by consuming a full bottle of wine. It is Sunday, after all.

No whirling dervishes were injured in this post.

The Perfect Button

The perfect button

I have finally found the perfect button for my PC.

Every PC should have one. Veges and vegans can opt out, that’s a problem for Microsoft..

Middle Rashers

Bacon, wonderful thick middle rashers of carcinogenic bacon. Dripping with lard straight from the pan to take their rightful place alongside the perfectly fried eggs.

I love bacon.

I’m waffling. I missed posting yesterday, and the day before that. I have accumulated a number of topics that I thought worth mentioning. But, now that I am here, they’ve gone; as so often happens.

I am actually waiting for Shirley and the girls to arrive for lunch. It’s ready, just have to cook the vermicelli. As usual, they’re late, but then they are Brazilians. A prearranged time does not mean a lot to Brazilians. Midday was accepted as the best time to arrive, of course, being a non-Brazilian, everything was ready at the appointed hour. So now the waiting game begins; began, actually as it’s now 1:00pm.

I have been a busy boy this morning. I have posted on all blogs, cooked lunch, tidied the kitchen, written two drafts for Eco-Crap, which will save me time Monday and Tuesday. I have, so far, resisted the temptation to call a beer o’clock stop and wander along to the botequim (bar), they are having a BBQ for the local soccer team. They must have won their game this morning. But if Shirley doesn’t arrive soon, that’s where she will find me. At least frm there I can see them walk across the square, so it’s not like I am going to disappear.

I have decided that it is beer o’clock, I can’t resist the temptation. BBQ is like a magnet.

Later, I should have the Sunday Travel Tales up.

 

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