Tag Archive: Bieber


Knotted

You’ve probably all heard the expression “Get knotted!” But very few would actually know what it refers to, we certainly didn’t when we used it freely as kids.

One of the neighbours trying to discover the intricacies of our dogs Pexote and Pivete being 'knotted'.

One of the neighbours trying to discover the intricacies of our dogs Pexote and Pivete being ‘knotted’.

It was only at some subsequent time in life that I discovered it referred to the copulation of dogs where the male’s penis gets a knot that ties it to the bitch for some twenty minutes after the act, for what biological purpose I am still at a loss, but I have a vivid imagination, so have never sought to research the idea further.

I raise the subject today for curiosities sake when I read a headline on BBC News “Stuck on youWhy ‘getting stuck’ during sex may not be an urban myth“. I didn’t bother clicking on the link to find out, but it raised the spectre of our liberal use of the saying as kids as a reply to anything from the mundane to the serious disbelief.

valentinecupidValentine’s Day draws nigh.

Another chance to waste your money and feed the corporations.

All these “X” Days are purely commercial bullshit. They are all designed so that you will part with your hard earned money.

Chocolate makers and florists love it.

It raises false hopes in men all over the planet.

I say ban Valentine’s Day.

justinidiotI am worried, there was no headline about the Bieber today.

Mainstream media had to come up with some real news.

Sceptics say that global warming is a myth; explain that to California, they gave literally run out of water. “California’s water agency has announced it may for the first time be unable to deliver water to local agencies, amid a worsening drought.” – BBC News.

“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie knew about the closures of local lanes leading to a busy bridge to New York City while they were happening, a lawyer for a former ally has said.” – BBC News. Christie obviously will make a perfect presidential candidate, he can tell lies.

Super Bowl is over, no more headlines about Super Bowl.

I agree with Crabby Road’s Maxine, a super bowl would be a self-cleaning toilet.

The biggest gaffe of the week is the refusal by British parliamentarians refusing to allow pubs to open late on the opening and closing games of the FIFA World Cup. British pubs close at 11pm, which is the start of both games. In 2010 four million Brits watched the matches in their pubs, not a small number. Idiots, but then they are politicians. Prime Minister David Cameron has put his big-boy boots on and weighed into the fracas. Brownie points there. It might even be enough to get him re-elected.

Weather continues to be hot and dry. At least today is cooler than the previous 40+°C days, but the humidity remains low, 20%, which means lots of water. I have two litre bottles in the fridge being rotated constantly.

It is now more than two weeks since Cloro disappeared. I have despaired of any further hope of his return.

Lunch today, cold left over pizza. It’s too hot to reheat it.

Then a nap; it’s the only sensible thing to do.

Later.

 

 

 

 

When in Doubt

Eat a banana.

mamao_formosa

Mamão formosa

My potassium levels must be way up. A friend dropped by on Tuesday and gave me a bag with two types of banana; one for eating, the other for slushies. Oh, that’s where the mamão (papaya) came from too.

It was good, because after yesterday’s dentist visit, I wasn’t even allowed to chew my beer. And that was the advice from my dentist; he’s a good guy. So, having soft fruit on hand meant a mushy food day.

Some of the seeds have already been planted.

It’s hot out there, we’ve been promised 38ºC (100ºF). It would be a good beer day, in fact about lunchtime, I may well just do that. By 5:30 class I shouldn’t reek of beer. You have to live dangerously.

Great tweet today:

Oh, and another:

I see that Bieber urchin is in the news again, this time in Canada for assaulting a limousine driver. Honestly, that kid needs some time-out, preferably in chains and kept away from microphones. Idiot child.

Two hours later…

Oh, sorry about that. I was looking for something on Google, and went off on my tangent, got lost, had a nap; now I have coffee and just for good measure, I had another banana.

It’s too hot to even think about cooking anything for lunch. Mind you it would be a lot easier if I had something in the fridge to cook. I do, but it’s all in the freezer.

starbucks-coffeeI just ditched the coffee, to hot to drink coffee, besides it was horrid, stewed leftovers from this morning; it almost qualifies for worse than Starbucks.

Instead, I had a healthy cooling refreshing slug on the bottle of iced water from the freezer.

Actually, I don’t know what Starbucks tastes like, and I never will. It’s not that I have never seen a Starbucks in Rio de Janeiro, rather it’s that I hate anything franchised.

.

Franchises are the bane of the civilised world. Give me the old Mom & Pop corner store any day.

During my search I found this. It’s a bit small to read easily, but I love it.

Grandmother-did-you-start-at-One

Having said that, I’m off to make another mamão slushie.

Later.

Oh, remember that urge I had two days ago? I am pleased to report that it hasn’t returned.

New Zealanders are Tough Bastards

Sustaining a shark bite is probably most people’s idea of a living nightmare, but junior doctor James Grant was not going to let it get in the way of him and a cold beer. Image - Guardian

Sustaining a shark bite is probably most people’s idea of a living nightmare, but junior doctor James Grant was not going to let it get in the way of him and a cold beer. Image – Guardian

Read a story on the news yesterday about a New Zealander who got bitten by a shark.

His first thought was, “Bugger…” Read the full story on the Guardian link.

Stabbed the shark, which apparently lost interest. Stitched himself up on the beach from his first aid kit.

Went off to the pub for a beer.

Chuck Norris, beat that!

There’s a campaign to send Bieber back to Canada and cancel his green card. Good move. The campaign has 45,000 supporters compared to the campaign that wants to keep him with 500. I wouldn’t be surprised if Canada doesn’t want him back.

Another hot day. Haven’t been outside the front door yet; that will happen in an hour when I go to class.

Made a wonderful mind-numbing mamão (papaya) slushie today, totally froze the brain. Ow owo ow! They say that all pleasures have their price.

Dentist was first up this morning, a brisk walk before the day got too hot. Got a medicated filling, and a come back next month for a root canal. Walked back home and had a nap, it was the only sensible thing to do.

Must get a move on, time to begin to look like a teacher.

Later.

It’s Noon

Hand check mark the listSo far today I have…

  • Drunk one mug of coffee
  • Posted on one blog
  • Opened the back door.
  • Peed twice

Looks like it is going to be  a productive day…

I’ve also wasted two hours looking for new stuff to post. Now I am sitting here looking at the screen wondering what to do next.

First the news:

They have developed Boob Deodorant. I didn’t think that was necessary. Actually ‘Boob’ is probably the best designed word in the English language; The B looks like a top view, the oo looks like a front view, and the b is the side view. Think about that.

Bieber, need I say more?

bieberflorida

followed-blog-500-1xLifeGood news, I got another award from WordPress.

This blog now has 500 followers.

Now I have to figure out where they are hiding.

As we go through life, we hear all sorts of jokes, but among the most memorable are ‘Little Johnny’ jokes, Englishhas them, Portuguese has them ‘Joãozinho‘ too. They always show Little Johnny at his worst. I found this this morning, it made me spill my second coffee.

effntractor

That kid in front just has to be Little Johnny.

On a more sober note, still no sign of Cloro. Today I will clean his corner and put the dishes away, a painful task that I have been putting off all week.

I might also do the dishes. Note the use of ‘might’ indicating a week possibility.

We got rain last night, not enough, but the temperature did go down and I got a good nights sleep, well deserved after going out for a sushi dinner.

A nap is high on the cards, lunch will be crumbed chicken, eventually and I really must do some more posts.

Later.

I Have a Drinking Problem

empty-beer-glass

My glass is empty, that’s a problem.

It’s the weekend for me already, Last class last night, no classes today. The chances are I’ll have no classes on Monday either. So I aim to make the most of the weekend.

It’s 10:30, I had aimed at making an early start. I have to go into town and get my printer cartridges refilled and get my book, which I managed to finish printing yesterday, bound so I can start the massive job of proofreading.

BF

Hardly the same crowds as US

Interesting thing about Brazil, it’s a copycat country. The USA has Black Friday, so Brazil has to have Black Friday.

Watching TV last night while I enjoyed a BBQ dinner at my favourite restaurant, the ads showed many stores with Black Friday specials.

What a load of bollocks! Most of the special were nothing more than their ordinary prices, some were further discounted, but nothing like the scale of discounts that appear in US stores.

The Brazilian formula seems to work like this; double the price and deduct 70%. The prices compared with US are a joke.

classical musicI read a disturbing post a couple of days ago exhorting the demise of classical music. Basically saying that classical music should disappear, that it wasn’t music any more.

Another load of bollocks!

Much of what I hear today bears no resemblance to music at all; and certainly won’t entertain the masses for 200, 300, 400 years as has classical music. Most of today’s music dies out very quickly, thankfully.

Mortified, during the week I posted a photo of my ‘TV stand’ showing off the latest addition to the hodge podge clutter of various items rescued from the street. One comment pointed out that my reflection could be seen in the TV screen proving once and for all, bloggers blog in their underpants. OMG, how embarrassing.

The Aussies made him clean it up

The Aussies made him clean it up

This burk Bieber, needs to be taken in hand.

Now he has upset the Aussies by pinchando painting graffiti on a hotel wall.

First it was Brazil, then Argentina; this idiot has a problem that is worse than his ‘music’.

I heard that if you play Bieber backwards is sounds Satanic, but what is even worse, if you play it forward it sounds like Bieber- Eeeeew!

It’s now 11am, I really should hobble off and do what I must do.

Later.

 

God, I’m good!

I have almost finished blogging for the day, I have seen the best part of a thermos of coffee, I have napped with the help of the able bodied Cloro, I scared the hell out of the kitchen by doing the dishes (I can report that the bottom of the kitchen sink is still there) and I have cooked and eaten lunch.

Now, I am sitting here sweating. The day is muggy, not hot-hot, but hot enough to be seriously considering beer o’clock.

What a pratt!

What a pratt!

Yesterday, I googled beaver butt for a post on Eco-Crap, guess what I got… Stupid google sent me ‘bieber butt’. Somebody’s got their algorithms in a twist. I have absolutely no interest in Bieber, and even less in his butt.

I see JP Morgan got fined $92,000,000 for conveniently losing $8,000,000,000. Nobody was responsible, nobody went to jail. In my opinion along with the fine they should have had to make the $8bn reappear. Some wanker banker is laughing his privates off and is $8bn richer. Come on, $8bn just doesn’t disappear. It is shit like this that makes me wonder where our world is headed… and I don’t imagine it is a pretty place.

Cloro has decided that it’s fun to help daddy tie his boot laces. Doing up one’s boot laces with a kitten dangling on the end is no mean task. Today, I was on the phone talking to my bossette, and he decides to take the elevator straight up my legs, shorts and T-shirt. I caught him in one arm, and he just looks at me innocently like ‘cuddle-time?’. Here I am on the phone doing my best not to scare my bossette with a blood-curdling yell that one usually associates with such pain and he wants a cuddle.

I am beginning to think the human race is like the lemmings and their annual migration over the cliff to certain demise. Everybody is racing to Japan. A Kennedy daughter is about to become ambassador, Japan is still a top tourist destination, and the Olympic games are going to be there. I wouldn’t send a pox-ridden penis to Japan with the current radiation problems. And yesterday they had another earthquake in the region, not big enough nor close enough to do further damage, but I bet some Japanese sphincters were quivering.

News has started, time to migrate to the botequim and watch it there while I nurse my bloodily scratched legs.

Later.

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