Tag Archive: birth

Private Parts

Lisa Marie, one of Elvis’ private jets – BBC image

I woke after Nap-fu practice, buttered a bread roll and poured a half pint of chilled sparkling mineral water. As I settled in front of the PC to read the news, I was shocked. I read “Elvis Presley private parts for sale”. As the fog of sleep lifted, I reread, because I couldn’t believe it… The headline was actually “Elvis Presley private jets for sale”.

Having recovered from that shock, let’s move along.

The temperature yesterday reached freakin-hotºC (that’s 41ºC) or intolerably-hotºF. The thermal sensation 50ºC, we were melting. I set up my private cachoeira (waterfall) by putting the hose through the tiles on top of the fence, borrowed a chair from the botequim and sat under the cascading water to drink my beer. Whenever I vacated the chair, the neighbours two girls took advantage, as well as their dad.

About 4pm we (neighbours and I) set up the BBQ and had grilled salmon, pork ribs, pork belly strips, liver and garlic bread for a late afternoon snack.

By the end of that, I was knackered, running the BBQ, the heat, the beer had all taken their toll. So it was home for the news.

I am miffed. I read the story of an English couple stranded in New York after a five day getaway before the birth of their child, who decided to make an early appearance by some weeks. They are being stung for $200,000 in hospital care, although they had insurance, it is not clear if it covers a birth.

Now, I may be wrong here. But to my mind the birth of a child is Mother Nature at work, sometimes she is unpredictable, therefore I consider this a natural emergency which shouldn’t be charged for, even by a bloody-minded stinking corporate private hospital. Childbirth should be free! We have been overtaken by our own capitalist greed. Somethings like this are just not right.

Boko Haram militants have kidnapped about 40 boys and young men in a raid on a remote village in north-eastern Nigeria. It’s time these cowardly bastards were hunted down like rabid dogs and disposed of. They claim to be Muslims, but their actions form no part of Islam.

Another headline: Most types of cancer can simply be put down to bad luck rather than risk factors such as smoking, a study suggests. This is something that I have thought for many years. From my own family’s experience… Both my grandfathers smoked and drank heavily from the age of about 14, they died at 90 & 92, neither from cancer nor heart problems, rather from natural causes. On the other hand, my father who neither smoked nor drank had heart problems at 59 and died of a stroke at 73. My thoughts have been that you either have cancerous genes, or as this report suggests, cancerous genes can mutate, or not. Lifetyles such as smoking or drinking may exacerbate them.

nothingcheckNow the weather today is much more reasonable, cloudy with the prospect of rain. Still sweating here, but not like yesterday.

It’s 1pm, time to check the botequim. Nothing is planned for the day, another day in which I fully expect to be a successful.




The panic button

Fartiferious, wonderful word, just rolls off the tongue, it almost has a smell of its own.

To me it has the air of being alone at home farting with delight whenever one has the urge.

Well, today is not so fartiferious. I am fartifearophobic – the fear of farting…

I have crook guts and an even dodgier bowels.

I will not bore you with further details in the interests of human decency.

Draino for use in cocktails

Draino for use in cocktails

I have spent a good part of the day napping trying to nap, but none to successfully.

I am not eating, just drinking water, if I thought the system would handle it, I’d make a Draino cocktail.

But, I don’t like ‘diet’ nor cans.

I have class soon, it’s not going to be pleasant walking the whole kilometre to get there with these cramps. But I have just had 2+ weeks off due to public holidays and I am skint.

I believe in live and let live. I do not kill things unnecessarily, except sodding mosquitoes and passion-fruit-vine-hungry caterpillars.

Last night a honey bee flew in the window. Now many would have been rushing for the Raid or whatever, but not me; bees are good, bees are necessary. I just didn’t particularly want this bee being a bee in my room. So, I swatted him with the back of my hand. Now bees are pretty resilient creatures, he shook his little head, dedazed himelf and realised he should be a bee being  bee somewhere else and flew back out the window.

Mother Nature sent me a ‘thank you card’.

The Blonde Bimbo (Dilma Rousseff, the president) made a state-of-the-nation address on Labor Day, in it she promised tax benefits for the poor and increased welfare. It’s election year this year, she wouldn’t be bucking for votes, now would she?  <—- Rehtorical question

Today, Clorinha seemed to have a change of heart. During one of attempts to nap she became all lovey dovey and wanted to be petted, she smooched and head butted me, it was lovely… until she bit me fiercely on the nipple! It was all a poly to distract me.

Undo/open any bag, package in the house and there she is doing her Dora the Explorer impression:

Turn the volume down, the laundry lady can’t stop talking.

Here’s something to think about, the future…






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