Tag Archive: bollocks


Mythbuster

Browsing through The Gardian, I saw this:
.

Quiz: can you spot the mythical creatures?

The Colo Claw Fish, a giant eel around 130ft long, with venomous fangs and a hydrosonic screech for stunning its prey.

The mystery of the yeti may have been solved, but what about other fantastical creatures? Can you tell a real ridiculous-sounding beast from a made-up mythical being? Take our quiz to find out

So, I did…

This was the reply:

You scored 9 out of a possible 9

Wow. You must be a qualified zoologist or something.

Probably closer to the ‘or something’, because a zoologist would have at least have to have passed high school… I didn’t. But I do consider myself well read.

Just had a wonderful lunch, slab of chicken breast, roast potatoes and pumpkin with minted peas and gravy.  Would have been even more wonderful if I had timed the pumpkin better, it was only with the second helping that it was cooked.

The greatest sin of a chef is to balls up the cooking times. Today I sinned. But at least this sinner has a full belly.

Yesterday, both my evening students cancelled class, so I did the only sensible thing to do when the fridge is empty on a rainy night. I went out for sushi.  Returning home with a full belly.

Still overcast today, no rain, although it has tried; and cool and in an hour I will be leaving for work.

So the Americans finally caved in, the world continues to spin.

Our blonde bimbo president is still frothing at the mouth over Americans spying on her backyard. More than a month has passed since she demanded the American to explain why with no response. The lady need to get some balls, tell the Americans to pack up their embassy and f**k off!

Mad cow

Mad cow

Scientists have announced the finding of a rogue protein that causes mad cow disease in humans.

What a load of bollocks, I could have told them that, I was married to one for ten years.

I just found out that Tuesday was Teachers Day here in Brazil. I still worked, courses don’t qualify. So much for that.

Toddling off. Cloro is demanding attention, if I don’t give it, my shins will resemble Shell road maps.

Later.

 

I Procrastined my Ated

nutsYes, I kept putting off posting until it was no longer a viable option yesterday.

Today, it appeared to happen again, I kept procrastinating, naps, lunch and beer o’clock took precedence.

Then, my evening students cancelled, which is why I managed to fit in a beer o’clock. I don’t normally drink before class, it’s not unheard of on a sweltering Rio day, but I don’t make a habit of it.

Yesterday, nothing happened. I blogged, but those of you who follow my various blogs already knew that, so why post and tell you?

The most exciting things I have done today, apart from my nap (naps are always exciting, you never know what you’ll dream about), ws to pay my bills and water the plants. The latter exercise was totally futile as it is now beginning to rain.

I see the Catholic church is about to get two more saints, personally I don’t see the point. Haven’t they got enough? There’s already 140 or so. What is the point of saints? It’s all a load of bollocks if you ask me. The saints are dead already, so isn’t communicating (praying) with the dead condemned by the church?

Football (soccer) referees in Brazil will be a lot more wary about red carding players after a game in Maranhão (north Brazil). The ref red carded a player, who then refused to leave the field, so the ref stabbed him and he died on the way to hospital. That wasn’t the end of the story, the spectators invaded the field and decapitated the ref. Why was the ref carrying a knife in the first place? Yes, we have to deal with some nuts.

Obama-In-a-Pickle1Obama is in a real pickle.

First, the news that NSA were spying on Americans, then came the news that they were doing the same to Germans, it turned out that much of Europe was also being spied on. Over the weekend the story broke that they were spying on Brazilians.

The Brazilians are not happy. Dilma (president) has got her knickers thoroughly twisted and the ramifications will be serious. The Americans cannot placate Brazil as they have whitewashed the Europeans, particularly because the Brazilian Constitution makes spying on citizens a crime. Company’s like FaceBook, Google, etc who have collaborated with the Americans could find themselves in prison, and the companies expelled from the country. Expulsions could also  happen at ambassadorial levels, just as Morales is considering in Bolivia after his affair last week.

Basically, the shit has hit the fan, and this time it is big time.

My blog ratings continue to plummet. My Nether Region blog which, prior to 26th Feb, was getting 200+ hits daily (highest daily 1,652), yesterday managed 3, the day before 4, and today an astounding 7 (aken from my Sats Counter, my WP stats are a little better). Something very fishy here, I have no doubt this is orchestrated because of my political views.

Watch this space.

Later

 

Blogger Extraordinaire

foodbloggerThat’s me, Blogger Extraordinaire! I am.

I just saw that on someone’s About me page, how presumptuous to proclaim oneself ‘Extraordinaire’!

I would never presume to do so, regardless of the fact that I am, and I am, a presumptuous bastard as well; extraordinarily presumptuous.

Maybe it is that I don’t presume to blow my own trumpet that I can’t write a post like I saw on another blog ‘4,000 Followers’. Besides, I can’t reach my own trumpet, well I couldn’t the last time I tried to in the bath; and that was when I was about fifteen.

DSC_0942

Why does a dog lick his bollocks? Simply, because he can!

Oh, come on, don’t pretend to be shocked!

What healthy teenager hasn’t tried?

Which is why I am incredibly envious of dogs and their bollocks licking capabilities, even Lixo can do it.

Maybe this post should carry a government health warning…

‘This post could be injurious to your health and mental well-being, it contains 5,000+ substances that can cause your hair to curl, your nose to implode and your knees to fall off!’

I have managed to post on all my blogs today. But then Satireday posts don’t take much doing. It’s when you have to sit here for hours waiting for inspiration to strike and actually write something that blogging takes a lot of time.

51nAToiJsoL._SY300_<beer o’clock>

</beer o’clock>

Leftover oven fried dogfish from yesterday, some beer and a good conversation on the ills of the world.

What better way to spend a Saturday evening?

The local news will be on shortly, followed by the national news and then my nightly soap, by that time it will be bed time.

That is unless I can find a distraction here and the chances of that are highly probable.

It doesn’t take much for me to go off on my tangent and explore the world. But then you are bloggers, you understand the perils of the net.

Later.

%d bloggers like this: