Tag Archive: bowels


Interesting…

bowels

My bowels probably look like this, although pickled with age and alcohol

Fourteen bloggers liked my bowels yesterday.

Here’s a better look ——->

It surprises me the strange things that bloggers like.

That’s a lot of tripe.

I posted the rest of the photos gleaned from the bowels of my camera this morning on Eco-Crap post.

I still lack something to write about, although an article about a Japanese “vagina artist” made interesting reading.

She been arrested for posting 3D-printing information that would allow readers to produce a canoe in the shape of her vagina.

She espouses a view that I have long held about genitalia.

“To me, my vagina is like my arms and legs. It’s nothing obscene.” I hold a similar view about penises, as I don’t have a vagina.

Megumi Igarashi's canoe

Megumi Igarashi’s canoe

An interesting concept.

You can read more on: BBCNews

red-wine-glass-lgnCould red wine BOOST your memory?

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It must be true because I NEVER forget to have a glass of wine!

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This will be a theory that I will be testing during and after lunch today.

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No classes, so no restrictions like no alcohol.

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I read about paradise last night. Yes, there is a place in the civilised world that doesn’t have ‘no smoking’ laws. A place where you sit next to your pint and puff away.

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The trouble is that it’s rather hard to get to.  No planes, a once a month boat from  South Africa via Ascension Is, and it’s expensive to get there.

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Tristan da CunhamapabuenoThe island of St Helena in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

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Second most remote place on Earth to the Island of Tristan da Cunha, which is further south.

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So, if you want to get away from it all… in fact if you want to get away from everything, you now know where to go.

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And if you live on St Helena, where do you take your vacation?  Why, you drive the 15 miles around the island.

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New emergency data laws in Britain look likely to be passed. 49 MPs voted sensibly against them while 436 arseholes voted in favour.

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Well, having taken the post from vaginas to arseholes, not a great distance anatomically speaking, I feel as though I have done my bit for the day.

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Lunch time! It’s wine o’clock. Time to test the theory.

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Later.

 

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My Voices are Quiet

Blank Mind

Blank Mind

Which has left me at a loss for a post.

It’s true, my mind is a blank.

I’m sure the neurons are firing, like I remember where the fridge is.

But I am sitting here forsaken by my voices, devoid of conscious thought, bereft of ideas.

Yes, maybe I need coffee…

CoffeeistheanswerIn coffee there is inspiration, hope and destiny.

Now we’re on the right track, the answer can be found nowhere else.

I have posted on all blogs today, this is the last.

I have napped successfully twice and halfheartedly once; hence the third attempt.

I did the dishes, the kitchen is still in mourning.

The one nice thing about the bruschetta that I bought is that it came in a dinky square jar.

Now I have a dinky square jar and absolutely no idea what to do with it.

Camera Bowels

Camera Bowels

I emptied the bowels of my camera.

It’s amazing the crap (hence I call it the bowels) you find there, that you’ve forgotten about.

Good photos, bad photos, furry photos and photos that leave you wondering what on earth were you thinking about when you took them.

It all comes out of the bowels.

Yes, I have an 8gb card. That way the battery runs out before the card, necessary when you have a 7-year-old daughter visit and the eventual “Can I use the camera?”

Yesterday was a relaxing day. No football, no classes and a single bottle of beer in the chilly evening before collapsing on the sofa with exhaustion to watch the evening news.

My view of the world cup was much like this:

How I viewed the World Cup

How I viewed the World Cup

Big screen at the rear of the botequim between to heads, one usually had a silly hat.

I made weinerschnitzel for lunch the other day. Here’s how I do it.

Rump steak and small kitchen knife

Rump steak and small kitchen knife

This is my favourite knife, it’s not fancy just R$7, made of plain steel, hence the rust spots, but it is sharp and holds its edge better than its R$40 counterparts.

It cuts beautiful steaks.

Beautifully cut schnitzels

Beautifully cut schnitzels

And before the end steak gets too thin, slice it in two for two BBQ steaks now in the freezer waiting for the next BBQ.

My lunch after the ceremonial butchering and crumbing.

Weinerschitzel with bruschetta topping

Weinerschnitzel with bruschetta topping

Boiled potatoes with oodles of pepper and a knob of butter, cauliflower with Provolone cheese sauce.

Is it any wonder that my kitchen sink is always full of dishes?

So there you have a glimpse of what was in the bowels of my camera. There was more, but more for my Eco-Crap blog updates tomorrow than here.

First student cancelled. So now there is no need to panic and get to work in the 20 minutes left. Next class at 6pm.

Here you have an example of a blog post written off the cuff with out a conscious thought and some coffee.

Later.

 

Datsun Cogs

You won't find Datsun Cogs in here, well, there may be a few

You won’t find Datsun Cogs in here, well, there may be a few

Yes, we have been promised Datsun Cogs for the weekend, more likely Sunday than Saturday, although the sky is grey this morning with the sun bravely trying.

Datsun Cogs is a phrase that we used years ago with the onslaught of Japanese cars on the market. I hadn’t heard it in yonks (long unspecified time frame) until I saw it on Shana’s Datsun Cogs post and just had to use it, mainly for nostalgia.

My cramps have gone, my bowels have stopped moving. Well, they do when I go and get more coffee from the kitchen, they go with me, but in the traditional sense they have stabilised. So much so, that after class last night I went out for pizza and beer; without being a glutton about it, so far, so good. I have not felt the need to reenact Napoleon Blownaparte’s demise.

Fuzzy green tomatoes

Fuzzy green tomatoes

Tomatoes have breached the R$9kg price again. Takes them off the menu. But I have heart, the first small green blobs are developing on my more mature tomato plant.

I hope they aren’t as fuzzy when they are ripe.

The photographic blur is a direct result of not enough coffee.

I made another ‘find’ in the trash a couple of days ago. All the dark stained wooden pieces for a sizable table. It lacks the glass piece for the centre. Once I buy the screws necessary for reassembly I will visit an acquaintance who has a vidraçaria (glass & mirror) shop. It’s 140x90cm but not as high as a normal dining table 75cm. All I need to do now is decide where and how to put it and use it; a minor detail.

The sun is out. The neighbour’s cat has been in and eaten Clorinha’s biccies. Need more coffee.

So far my daily highlight has been discovering that one lemon had turned half brown and one potato has become ‘juicy’; both are now residing on the compost heap. I hate wasting food, but these were bought before I had the dreaded lurgy and stopped eating.

The upshot of having two dodgy bellies within three weeks is that I am back into my size 50 jeans, whereas I was using 54s. Makes a larger person almost hope for another dodgy belly; I am putting my 48s in the wash, just in case.

The dishes remain… well, they remain. I should go to the supermarket, as the polar bears in the fridge are complaining of starvation; I will be too, if I don’t.

The sun is in again.

I wrote a lovely comment on a blog post last night. Then I used it as a prelude to a reblog of that post on my blog Things that Fizz & Stuff. You may find it interesting as it is in part about my younger years and almost deserves a place here.

The sun is out again.

I suspect our celestial body is having a ‘bad hair day’.

It’s too early to practise my Nap-fu skills, so I will blog along.

Later.

 

 

WMDs

dried-plums-or-prunes

WMDs

After expressing my concerns relating to bowel motions in yesterday’s post, one comment suggested prunes, that well known secret weapon used in hospitals around the world.

Prunes = Weapons of Mass Defecation

The good news is, that I didn’t need to resort to them. All is well and functioning normally.

The cold front arrived last night, rained for an hour at 12:30am, not hard but enough to make the night comfortable.

I can’t help but take issue with the dramatic swings in the global weather. Although typhoons in Asia are normal, that Philippines one was the worst ever recorded. I read yesterday, that the damage was exacerbated by the fact that coastal mangrove swamps that normally offer protection from typhoons had been cut down for firewood, leaving the populace defenceless.

Everything man does, has a backlash. We never learn. Those mangrove swamps were there for a purpose, a purpose designed by Mother Nature.

As the death toll rises above 5,ooo, and I feel sorry for those who died and others left homeless, it is the price paid for previous actions. Had the coastal mangrove swamps been left intact, the death toll and homeless may have been less.

I clicked on a tweeted  image this morning. It was of The Cathedral formation on the Paracas Peninsula in Peru, 260kms south of Lima. This beautiful coastal rock formation was probably the most photographed by tourists, apart from Machu Picchu scenes.

Standing on the high cliffs looking down was an awesome experience.

The Cathedral – image: Wild About Travel

Before seeing this tourists descend to the ‘back door’ and go inside the formation.

PEELC198300

Along the beach to the ‘back door’ – image: AV

And are treated to the magnificence of the interior…

Inside The Cathedral - image: AV

Inside The Cathedral – image: AV

Here is an excerpt from a story that I wrote about Peruvian tourism:

We reached the far end of the second beach and the cliff opened, waves could be seen on yet a third beach.

 

Shoes and socks removed, trousers rolled up and we timed our entrance to match the tidal fluctuations, before stepping into the dark. Wrong… most of us still got wet, nature can be so unpredictable, we were wet to the crotch, women squealed and the men cursed as we stepped into the cave, it opened out to a huge natural cavern. Inside a small shingle beach covered in flotsam, waves crashing, their thunder magnified by the cavernous maw to echo in our ears.

 

This was “The Cathedral,” quite spectacular.

 

From the high entrance we were treated to the sunny view of the third beach and towering cliffs. The breakers pounding over a rocky shelf at the entrance to send up temendous fountains a of spray and massive clouds of mist hung in the air.

 

The swell of the tide gave us an insight into the immense power, that she is able to move such great quantities of water. The bloated carcase of a sealion rose and fell with her undulations like a great lifeless ballon. Bouncing off the rocks, being dragged away by the ebb only to be thrust again at nature’s whim cruelly against the rocks.

 

I was left wandering what would become of this hapless creature, this vision of nature’s uglier side as I picture, somewhat morbidly, the putrefying remains of the animal and the stench that would be offered to future tourists inside our cavern.

 

I shuddered at the thought and found myself at the entrance and followed the rest of the group into the bright, almost blinding sunlight after the dimness of the cavern. I left the morbid thoughts in the cathedral, trudged back along the beach, over the promontory, up the steep track to the cliff top, into the van and along the bumpy road.

So there you have it, the thoughts of a tourist guide.

I visited The Cathedral many times with tourists, so it is with a fondness that I remember it; until this morning.

I didn’t know, but the earthquake in the region destroyed towns like Chincha, Pisco and Playa El Chaco in 2007, it also destroyed The Cathedral.

Destroyed, the awesome cavern, gone - image: flickr

Destroyed, the awesome cavern, gone – image: flickr

No more will tourists be able to gaze in awe inside The Cathedral.

My fondness for this region comes not only from my work, but later I lived in Playa El Chaco and worked in Pisco.

Sadness determines that I say, Later.

Farting with Confidence

Darvaza-Turkmenistan The Doorway to Hell

Darvaza-Turkmenistan The Doorway to Hell

Yes, it’s a wonderful feeling.

Two days of suffering the torments of a serious belly ache. There were times I thought that I was on the brink of the Doorway to Hell.

It does exist, you know, talk about ‘a burning ring of fire’ as Johnny Cash put it.

Today is another holiday in Brazil. Zumbi dos Palmares (1655 – November 20, 1695) was the last of the leaders of the Quilombo dos Palmares, a fugitive settlement in the present-day state of Alagoas” – Wikipedia

Last Saturday I was having a beer in the shade in the park in front of the botequim, it was a hot, hot day. We were joined by the local guy who pedals fresh bread rolls around on his bicycle each morning. The conversation became interesting as the guy realised I was a foreigner. We’d never really spoken before apart from the odd time I buy bread rolls, or we pass in the street.

Flat-EarthersThis guy, late fifties of European descent, had absolutely no concept of the world, he didn’t even seem to realise that the world was round and had another hemisphere. His idea of the world was Brazil, Portugal and the heathen Americans fighting in a desert. Strangely enough he also knew that Finland existed, and kept confusing my NZ for Finland. He had no idea that the Pacific Ocean existed, nor of Australia, although he had heard of Africa.

That wasn’t the end of the confusion. He was a Catholic, whereas I am an Atheist, he couldn’t grasp the idea that someone had different beliefs, that was just totally beyond him.

I have met some poorly educated people many times in the past, but never one with such a narrow view of life. It would have been almost pathetic, if he was a decent sort.

Then he left with no idea that he should contribute to the beer he had shared with us, which was considerable.

Zê and I just looked at each other and let him pedal off.

It’s 1am, I have just watched Brazil trounce Chile 2-1 in a good fast clean football game played in Toronto; which was certainly better than last week’s game against Honduras, which as a very dirty game. If Honduras had spent more time playing and less time using dirty tactics maybe they wouldn’t have lost 5-0.

KochApp1Tomorrow tonight, New Zealand plays Mexico… gulp! This game will decide NZ’s fate for the World Cup.

Rather amusing, I saw that there is an app barcode reader that tells you if a product is produced by any of the Koch Brothers industries… I couldn’t believe it; but apparently, if you want to boycott Koch industries it could come in handy.

I got a Happy Blog Anniversary from WordPress…

anniversary-2xMy account is five years old, although I have only been seriously blogging here for two.

I have tentatively had some nibbly things during the evening and it doesn’t seem to have unbalanced my bowels, maybe I can try eating normally today.

It’s now bedtime, if anything noteworthy happens during the day, I’ll do an update.

I’ll leave you with this piece of nostalgia…

Later.

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