Tag Archive: bulls


Lie kid’ll armpit

brazil-loss-to-germany-memeThere, figure that one out before the end of this post.

Sweet dreams are made of these… It came to me at some stage through the night. I had to get up at 2:30am to write it down for fear of forgetting it. It’s an entry from an old book called New Zild and How to Speak it.

There are many jokes around the net about the Brazilian catastrophe. I think that this was the best. Given the levels of agony, sadness and shame experienced by Brazil, you have to bounce back.

Personally, I was so affected by the drama, that several times I found myself  trying to move the cursor with my cigarette packet instead of the mouse; taking time to recognise the error.  When you sink to this level of desperation, it’s definitely time for more coffee.

At least Brazil’s defeat provided some excitement, unlike yesterday’s game, Holland vs Argentina which prompted on commentator on BBC to say that the tedium of a game of chess is more exciting. I was in class, so I didn’t see the game, but I had the BBC page open for live comments on the game. I saw the last few minutes of extra time and the shoot out, that was exciting.

The upshot is that Brazil now play Holland on Saturday for third place, surely we can manage that. Dutch manager is grumbling about their ignominious fate.

Headline news! Justin Bieber got two years probation for the hideous offence of vandalism. Why didn’t the judge just give him a red card and send him home? Or at least ban him from singing ever again, now that would be a community service.

Pamploma – image: BBC

Two men were gored by bulls in the annual Pamploma Bull Run. Idiots abound.

No sympathies from this quarter.

FIFA are a bunch of bloody cowards. In the matter of the Colombian who destroyed the Brazilian team, they have found no cause to interfere with the referee’s decision. That’s the whole point, the referee didn’t make a decision.

Maybe FIFA should be sent to Pamploma… Let the bulls make a decision, or an incision or two.

erdinger-weissbierJust in… No, not the Bieber again! News.

A pub in Galway, Ireland reduced the price of a pint of Erdinger by 50 cents for every German goal; by the end of the night punters were paying 50p a pint, the poor bar manager was in a state of panic.

Apparently it paid off, because the pub was packed for the next semi the following night.

Been trying to rain all day, it wets the ground a bit, then buggers off; an hour later, it does it again. The day is so dull that I have the light on.

I must blog along, the emails about comments and visits have mounted up again.

I’ll leave you with this bit of real estate news…

MaracanaForSale

Oh, I am a naughty boy.

Did you manage to figure out the post title?

Try this: “Like it, or lump it” But if you are a Kiwi or not, that’s the way we talk.

Later. (I’m lying this time)

 

And so it came to pass…

learnbuttonI have always maintained that a day in which I learn nothing new, is indeed a day wasted. It’s a sort of philosophical thingy of mine.

Today I learned something new. I’m not actually sure that I wanted to learn this particular aspect of human behaviour; but there you go, once you learn something, you can’t ‘unlearn’ it.

It is, therefore, with some trepidation that I am going to share this perplexing puzzling strange weird perverse (I’ll find the right adjective in a moment, I’m getting close). Actually this stopped me dead in my tracks. I was about to get coffee, and nothing, but nothing can deter me from the singlemindedness of this task, but this did. My coffee mug remains empty beside me, this gives you an understanding of the gravity of the situation.

I am talking about ‘sneaky nuts’…

What’s that? You may well ask. I stumbled on it because I read in The Guardian of an Australian (had to be) politician who was censored because he ‘Liked’ a sneaky nuts prank on FaceBook. This piqued my interest. I was still in peanut, cashew nut, almond mode being totally innocent in this affair.

When I googled ‘sneaky nuts’ was stunned being presented with images like this…

sneakynuts

Apparently ‘sneaky nuts’ involves exposing one or both of ones testicles in a photograph; popping a nut, so to speak.

Why would anyone do this?

all-canesI mean the human gonads are nothing remarkable in the world of nature. I mean take a bull, for example, now there’s a mean set of gonads, and the pizzle is big enough to make walking sticks out of, or a mean looking Warrant Officer’s swagger stick.

The human pizzle is more of a frizzle in comparison.

Even the humble pig sports a pair worth showing off.

Now if you had a pair like this, you’d be justifiably proud to pop a nut for a photo.

pignutsSo you can appreciate that the human male doesn’t have much to show by comparison.

Having said all that, I will apologise to all those of a sensitive disposition and the religiously disturbed. I realise that not everybody wants to be confronted with a discussion on testicles first thing on a Friday morning.

Let’s move along, shall we? <—— Rhetorical question

My coffee cup overfloweth…

Yesterday I went shopping. It was my plan to buy an extra set of speakers and a mouse for my Think Pad to leave at work thereby negating the necessity of taking everything with me to work.

That part of the day was a success.

My next plan was to have lunch, no not Brazeiro, that gets a little expensive all the time. In order to get from the ‘puter place’ to the desired restaurant I had to pass a furniture shop which I often check because they have specials at times. Indeed, yesterday they did.

kidneytableI had thought of buying a decent coffee table, you see the one I have was salvaged from the trash. It was one of those called kidney shaped, well that was what my dear departed mother called it; we had one when I was a kid. Totally useless because they don’t really fit anywhere. But four years ago when I found it, beggars can’t be choosers.

I had seriously considered one of the same suite as the shelves that i have just bought, but the price tag was R$350. I was pleasantly surprise to see an oblong coffee table ‘pague e leve’ (pay and take it) for R$99. I went and had lunch, but this idea niggled at me all through a good meal. After lunch, I went back to the shop.

A discussion, can’t buy anything without a discussion in Brazil. If I was to buy the table, could they deliver it across the road to the taxi stand? A reasonable request, I thought, brandishing my walking stick to justify that I needed assistance.

mesa de centro artely masterThe answer… “No! Not allowed to.” Which after some haggling became “Well, for R$20.” I couldn’t believe it! R$20 to walk across the road! Bloody unbelievable, I entered tantrum mode (I’m 60+ but I still remember how to throw a tantrum). The nice man took it across the road to the taxi stand, just to get me out of the shop, I was becoming an embarrassment. See, tantrums work.

Remember that when your rugrat throws one next time.

So the afternoon was spent assembling and admiring my new coffee table.

I now have one of these in my living room. *satisfied grin*

My set of tower shelves has just arrived. They will come and assemble it tomorrow.

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