Tag Archive: caipirinha

I lost my Underpants

The Evening Post

No, it’s not the newspaper one. Just me running late.

That was yesterday’s post, at least that’s as far as I got. Apart from running late, I got sidetracked, then it became bedtime.

You see a few years ago I was very involved with IRC (International Relay Chat) and had several rooms to monitor and participate in. For those of you not in the know, IRC was one of the earliest forms of chat, after TelNet, then came ICQ, and much later other forms like Skype, GoogleTalk, etc.

icechatI saw the mIRC logo yesterday while googling around, and it piqued my interest as to what was happening these days. So I downloaded a copy only to find out that I now had to pay, it gave me a 30 day trial. I felt like a real newbie, I even had to think about what nickname I used to use. Eventually I connected, and found a couple of rooms that I recognised, and chatted with the occupants, both of whom remembered me from 2009 days. One reminded me that I didn’t use mIRC as a client, and eventually I remembered IceChat, downloaded, and started chatting about old times, before I realised, it was bedtime and I was nodding off at the keyboard.

I started with 3, I had 7 and then 10

I started with 3, I had 7 and then 10

Today, I have been struggling with another problem; how to get CorelDraw 10 loaded on my revamped PC, because yesterday’s failure bugged me. My CD ROM didn’t want to read the CD, but my laptop did and I installed CorelDraw successfully on it.

Later versions of the programme (today’s version is x6 – 16) simply had too many whistles and bells  that I would never use, so after looking at x3, I never upgraded 10.

This morning I copied the CD onto my external memory and used that to install it, but it gets hung up on the final stages and doesn’t install. There are more ways than one to skin a cat; I will win!

But in the meantime, my blogging has gone by the board. This is my first post of the day at 1+pm.

Only thing I have done today apart from drinking coffee, is water the plants.

My neighbour above the botequim has invited me to burn meat (BBQ) with them today, so my time is limited, and I could’nt leave you lovely people wanton.

There is the smell of a meat burning ceremony wafting through my window now, but it is my other neighbours between my house and the botequim, and they never invite anybody. They’re not very social, I mean, we talk and such, but they don’t get ‘socially’ involved, and both are teetotal, and I suspect evangelicals,  which is a social barrier. During the week I had a brief chat with them as they sat outside their gate as many Brazilians do in the evening; during which I mentioned that I was an atheist, that created a big lull in the conversation.

During the week I read on a cocktail blog I visit, a recipe for caipirinha, Brazil’s national drink. The recipe calls for lemons, but nearly every blog where I read the recipe makes the mistake of using limes. This cocktail blog, correctly, used lemons. I commented on it, and congratulated the blogger.

Then I saw another on Friday, that used limes! AAArrrggghhh! I left a comment somewhat venting my spleen, after which I felt guilty. However, I received a civilised reply thanking me for the correction, adding that he had heard about our green lemons.

There is a huge difference in the flavour between lemons and limes, lemons are sour whereas limes are almost sweetish.

These are Brazilian lemons, they are NOT limes

These are Brazilian lemons, they are NOT limes

The problem arises with the colour.

Here in Brazil lemons are green, but typically from outside Brazil anyone who sees a Brazilian lemon goes “limes”. and that is totally wrong.

This photo shows the lemons I bought at the supermarket last week.

I know they are lemons, because they are sour, they are so sour that they will invert your nipples and send ripples through your teeth. But they make wonderful caipirinhas.

Carnaval is all on, it’s all you hear about on TV. During carnaval the world outside Brazil ceases to exist.

Now I must blog along, and complete my quota before I go to the dead cow party.

Oh, the title… nearly forgot. On Friday night I took my underpants off for bed as normal; and they have disappeared. Perplexing; it’s Monday and I still haven’t found them.


Hold my Pussy!

failed_stampEver had one of those days?

Well, I’ve just had two of them, one after the other.

Yesterday, I managed to get most of my blogging done, except the my main post for Wednesday on Eco-Crap, which itself indicates some sort of disaster has fallen.

Not a disaster as in The Philippines with their typhoon, that was a disaster of epic proportions. My disaster was spending the day from 11:30am in therapy, yes, I went shopping.

On Tuesday I wrote that I planned to pay my rent and get my ink cartridge refilled, well it was 11:15 before I remembered it.

Fifteen minutes later I was out of the house. You see that’s the wonderful part of being a man; I can go from a standing start to being out of the house in 15 minutes. A women can’t do this.

Of course, the exit wasn’t as simple as one might imagine. Cloro wanted to come too. I got to the gate, through the gate, locked the gate, and Cloro wriggled under the gate, she sat there with a “where are we going?” look.

There was only one solution as I wasn’t going to escape that easy. I walked the eleven metres to the botequim, Cloro followed. One of the fregües was there having a quiet beer. “Gilsen, hold my pussy until I get to the corner!”

Gilsen grabbed an unsuspecting Cloro, and I hobbled off at a great rate of hobs, made it to the corner and effected my escape. Remember this was all in the fifteen minutes.

Got to town, got my ink cartridge filled, then the rent place had closed for lunch. Okay, in the event of this happening, I have a cunning plan… I went for lunch too. Braseiro is just around the corner. The next two hours was spent at lunch; you see at 60+ years old I adhere strictly to gentleman’s hours.

Time was marching on.

caipirinha_024I had a good lunch, five pints of beer and a caipirinha to finish. I was a bad boy, but I still had a trick up my sleeve. During lunch I was served a cutlet of lamb. They used to have a nice jelly mint sauce, it was horrendously expensive, so they cut it out and yesterday presented me with a lime-green caseiro (homemade) version. It was as horrendous tasting as the old offering was horrendously priced. A discussion ensued, in which I lambasted their efforts and told them how to make a real traditional NZ mint sauce, promising to return and give them a sample as I had a spare jar in the fridge.

Time was indeed marching on.

I paid my bill, went and paid my rent.

Now the second thing I had planned (lunch wasn’t in my original plans, that’s what I love about plans, that element of flexibility was to buy a set of saucepans (pots of for our American cousins).

This is the part where I entered therapy. To get to the pots and pans section, I had to walk through the clothes section. I’m sure this is a deliberate plot. I happened to spot a pair of dress trousers, and there glaring at me was my size, 52cm. Draped them over my arm. Then I saw a nice casual but dressy T-shirt, once again, my size was glaring at me, GG (big-big); it joined the trousers draped over my arm.

I finally got to the pots and pans place. The moment I saw this box open on display with it’s dark red-finished non-stick pots, I knew that I had to have it and nothing else would do. The girl took them to the checkout for me, and I had to pass the wine-glasses. I saw a blog post the other day that suggested we need glasses as we get older and had a picture of wine glasses. So true, I thought to myself, so true; and the take 8 – pay for 6 tag was irresistible. New tea towels joined the trousers and T-shirt on my arms as I made my way to the checkout.

My therapy was a success, but by the time I got home the last thing I wanted to do was give an English class ;(my second student had already cancelled, but I still had Marcello at 5:30.

I didn’t actually get home, the taxi stopped in front of the botequim and I recognised a major ‘Fail’ about to happen. I got a bottle of beer and Cloro found me at the bar, “What’s this?” she asked pawing her way into the big bag. I took the wine glasses out in case they fell out. Cloro went to sleep in the bag and I rang my student.

My story was that I had just got home from town and my legs didn’t want to behave like legs, I was exhausted; if you want an English lesson, you’ll have to come to the botequim. Knowing that Marcelo liked his beer, the idea appealed immediately, in fact I could see his eyes light up at the idea; he was still at work, 20kms away.

Another beer, I was now officially waiting for my student. He arrived after the second beer, late as usual. More beer, and then football was on TV, which meant more beer. I finally got home at 9pm.

Today, wasn’t really any different, although I didn’t have lunch, but I did deliver samples of my mint sauce to the restaurant.

There you have it, two consecutive ‘Fail’ days.

Meanwhile, check out this logic…






Which brings me to this point


Castle Point Lagoon

AH, but which point? You may well ask.

No, not Castle Point in New Zealand, pretty and idyllic though it is; nor am I stalking about PowerPoint, nor indeed an exclamation point.

Neither am I referring to pointing a gun, nor point blank (although the ‘blank’ bit referring to my mind is a possiblility – that’s why I am waffling until inspiration strikes).

I am referring to a point in time.

Point in Time - image: David Middlebrook

Point in Time – image: David Middlebrook

“Paleolithic fossils help us determine points in time. The scale of this replica of the sacred Egyptian “Ibis” bird skull is referring to a possible future point in time. The balancing block of basalt was formed in the Cretaceous period 65 million years ago when the last great extinction of the dinosaurs took place. The lone survivors became the birds of today”… – Read more

Yes, this particular point in time is nearly 10am and this is the last blog post of the day.

I have surpassed myself, I have excelled, I have… well, I have.

Saturdays are often an easy blog-load, because there is not a lot of thinking, rather it is choosing. Finding images and ideas that suit the Satireday on theme on most blogs, ideas that are both satire and/or funny, and that suit the general theme of each blog. On Nether Region, it is always Caturday, and I collect cat LOLs and Memes throughout the week during my browsing. Whatever keywords you put in a search engine, you are almost guaranteed there is a ‘cat’ image somewhere along the line.

So now that I have completed my blogging obligations, I should, begrudgingly, look after the house. I could start with the dishes, but the use of ‘could’ denotes a certain level of unwillingness, or improbability; and that’s how I feel about the dishes.

I may (strong possibility) cook bacon and eggs for breakfast, now that’s a good idea. It does have a drawback though, it creates more dishes, which take me back to the ‘could’ dilemma.

Life is a vicious circle.

Here’s an example of a vicious circle…

See what I mean?

cachaca_51The bacon and egg idea appeals, because it may be (strong possibility again) beer o’clock by then.

But then I have to spend money, which I don’t have much of this month…

Another vicious circle!

I will probably (stronger possibility than ‘may’) put a bottle of wine in the freezer and take that to the bar when suitably chilled. Or I might (weaker possibility) make a caipirinha and take that to the bar, but they have a propensity to get one plastered, not  prospect that I enjoy.

Despite the most popular brand of cachaça (sugar cane brandy) being 51, which is synonymous (because of a TV ad) with being a good idea. Drinking it before the sun is over the yard arm is most certainly NOT a good idea. Because a caipirinha doesn’t last long, and then you need another, and….

See, yet another vicious circle.

Caipirinha mit Limonen

Even the German site I got this image from says ‘Limetten‘ (lime) It’s bullshit!

A caipirinha is very much like a women’s breasts…. one is not enough! They really are so yummy, if they’re made properly with green lemons.

AH, I hear you all, “green lemons are limes!” No, they are not! This, sadly, is an American supposition; if it’s green then it’s a lime, because lemons are yellow. Lemons are sour, limes are sweeter. Here in Brazil, we have green lemons, and it is those green lemons that are used in a caipirinha. The net is full of this erroneous idea that a caipirinha is made with limes. If you make use limes in a caipirinha recipe, or indeed any other fruit, it then becomes a batida, which is NOT a caipirinha!

This is a pet hate of mine on the internet. Along with Brazilian waiters, who should know better, asking if I want a caipirinha made with cachaça or vodka. If it’s made with vodka, then it is a caipivodka, or caipiroska. If I wanted one, I’d ask for it!

It’s now heading towards eleven, a good hour to have breakfast on the weekend.

So I will leave you with this thought, it’s hard being an English teacher, you know too much about the language; sometimes I yearn for the days when I could write without having to justify (to myself) the use of modal verbs.


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