Tag Archive: death

Another Victim

One of my lst Clorinha photos taken in the praça just the week before her demise

One of my lst Clorinha photos taken in the praça just the week before her demise

As most of you know, I lost my Clorinha, and the neighbours lost their cat in two seperate instances just 15 minutes apart. They were run over in front of the botequim.

I observed at the time, how long before a child meets the same fate?

Now our little stretch of road has been asphalted, before it was patchy with cobblestones and patched potholes. Now it looks lovely.

The problem is that before it was a natural barrier, and traffic was mainly careful, although a few idiots drove through like a bat out of hell.

Now, everyone thinks he is a Formula One driver, a few don’t, but the speed of passing cars has increased creating a danger for the kids crossing without looking as they often run from the beco (alley) beside the botequim straight acoss the road to the praça.

This morning we had our first fatality!

Oh no! It wasn’t a child… this time.

I opened the gate to find…

A dead football

A football had met its maker. It was there, outside my gate, with its guts spilled across the apshalt. So sad.

I hope I never see the worst scenario. It would break my heart. Because despite being a velho caduco (grumpy old man) I know all the neighbourhood kids, I know their names, I know their parents.

I have been misled.

For years I was under the impression that the shelf under my PC desk was for kittens.

My cat shelf

My cat shelf

Now someone tells me that it was for computer things like an isolating transformer. How stupid? It was perfect for Hello Kitty’s kittens to keep me comany.

After my first screwed up Saturday, I came home exhausted. I had to pass the botequim before I got to my gate and my GPS wasn’t working. I found myself doing an unscheduled left turn and sat at a table with a beer in front of me. No idea how it got there, but it was wonderful.

Then I went home for Nap-fu and woke to the news that my football (soccer) team, Flamengo, had lost to Gremio 0-1.

I am rather disturbed… okay, more than normal. A comet is due to pass by the Earth tonight/today/sometime at a distance of 40,000 miles. Now that’s a fairly safe distance, close but not close enough to cause grave concerns.

What concerns me is that despite all the technology available today, is that they only discovered this damned thing on 31st August! A mere week ago! Where the hell does that leave us, if in fact it was headed directly for Earth? Right up the creek for survival chances and no freakin’ paddle.

Admittedly it’s not a very big comet, just the size of a house; but something that big travelling at astronomical speeds can punch the planet pretty hard, hard enough to make our sphincters temble.

c480x270_25Furthermore, they didn’t break the news until today, we wouldn’t have even had enough time to kiss our collective arses ‘good bye’! Not even a measely road sign…

For the best view of the end of the world you would have had to be in my native New Zealand.

If I had known, I wouldn’t have got the massive pork chop out of the freezer this morning… what a waste that could have been.

One oink chop

One oink chop, just look at the size of it.

That’s my lunch today, BBQed smeared with chimichurri and BBQed potatoes, black beans and rice. There will be some dead Argentine Ugni Blanc grape juice to go with it. They grapes were sacrificed in 2012.

Sunday is such a lovely day for debauchery.

The time is moving along, it’s now after noon, time to light the BBQ and steel myself for the gluttony feast ahead.



My Synapses have Recovered

I had a good deep sleep.

Once again, I am a walking, talking, blogging human being.

Ah, that’s bullshit, it was the coffee…

I didn’t even know I had synapses.

A connection between two brain cells – image: BBC News

Apparently, the reason we sleep is to make new synapses to connect our neurons and wash away the mental toxins of the previous day.

It’s true, it was in the newspaper.

Everything in the newspaper and on TV is true.

I still reckon it is the coffee.

Which would go to explain why I just went to reheat freshly made coffee. There was a malfunction in a synapse.

My post-load is almost complete, just here to go. The rest of the day will be spent destroying synapses with some form of alcohol.

Well, it’s justified, if I don’t, I’ll have no synapses to rebuild tonight.

One should always give nature a helping hand.

Death, I was thinking about death last night, must be those toxins they were talking about. I am greatly perturbed by the amount of money and effort that is spent recovering bodies just so you can bury them again. Once you’re dead, you’re dead. It doesn’t matter where, you’re still dead.

I have forsaken the country of my birth; I now live in Brazil. That may/may not change at some time. It doesn’t matter where I am when I die, I’m still dead. I have told my family, don’t you dare spend a cent on getting my body back to NZ just to be buried. I am as dead in Brazil, as I would ne in NZ.

Catastrophic disasters, plane crashes, avalanches, bury people. Why dig them up just to rebury them? Let the dead alone. Leave them in peace. Mother Nature decides when and where we’ll go, trust her wisdom.

There is no 'welcome' mat

There is no ‘welcome’ mat

I was once asked by a student, an ardent evangelical, what our purpose was here.

I responded by asking why he thought we were here. The reply to worship and glorify God.

I replied, “Fertiliser! We are here to provide the planet with fertiliser, just like every living thing on this planet! Nothing more, nothing less.”

Some people just can’t understand the truth, they have this idea that we’re here for something more tangible than fertiliser. They have this deep need to be wanted, and being wanted as fertiliser doesn’t fit the bill.

Personally, I think that fertiliser is a rather noble cause; for it enables/ensures the future. There is nothing ignoble about it.

I see Jacob Zuma, the president of South Africa, is in hospital for tests. They must be looking for brain cells. I hope he has a good health plan, this could take a while.

The seas are rising. Some parts are rising faster than other. The Marshall Islands in the Pacific are an example. With a high point just two metres above the waters, the Marshall Islands are one of the most vulnerable locations to changes in sea level. Recently the tides uncovered dead from WWII.

I see the CIA has opened Twitter and FaceBook accounts… Why? Oh, I know why, they want to be friendly.

“It is the folly of youth that makes us wise” – Argentum Vulgaris (I just made that up)


NB: I did really know about synapses, it was just a good line at the time… 🙂

Clorinha has a new toy. This photo was taken after I discovered the paper towels stretch across the living room floor. I wasn’t quick enough, and she rolled them up…





cokeban99% of the ills of the world would never have arisen if we had remained dendrophilous.

If we had remained in the trees, we would never have had Coca Cola, nor taxes.

Just think… Imagine…

No wars, bonking when the urge comes over us, picking ticks off the wife.

There would be no blogs… HORROR!

What would I do?

Sitting in a tree scratching ones nuts, is hardly a substitute.


He’s a bigger cat now

Cloro has discovered how to turn the printer on. Now that he’s a bigger cat his weight is sufficient to turn the printer on. It’s fun. At first he was stunned by the noise of the printer gearing up, the whirrs, thuds and clicks, but the flashing green lights soon overcame the fear as he batted and pawed at the LCD.

The weather forecast has been right for the last three days, rain. It is right today as well, rain, but not so much as the last three days. Still it makes for comfortable sleeping at night, which can be a hot sweaty affair even without sex.

My plans for Saturday amounted to doing nothing, as predicted, I was successful. I hadn’t finished, so I continued on Sunday.

Here’s something to think about…

You Used To Not Exist

baby-in-a-wombYou used to not exist.

Then you were a baby.

Look at that belly button.

What a funny thing that is.

Soon, you will no longer exist again.

So where will you go?

Well… wait a second…

Where did you start?

Could it be you were always here?

I sincerely don’t see how it cannot.

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

Source: The Truth You Always Knew

Wow, that’s deep.


RIP, my friend


It was confirmed last night, Lixo was poisoned and found dead along the road.

He was about two years old, and gave me two years of happiness, and a few scratches.

He was a constant companion, I couldn’t so much as poo without him, and as a faithful toilet attendant, he never expected a tip, just a good scratch behind the ears.

He was dumped in the praça, along with another kitten, when he was about eight weeks old. The owner of the botequim saw a guy drive up and get a sack from the trunk and empty two kittens in the bushes like rubbish and drive away.

It was the next night I saw him in the bar, and after a petting he followed me home where I fed him and plonked him on the spare sofa. He decided to stay. I named him Lixo, because lixo is Portuguese for rubbish; one man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure.

Lixo was a treasure.




How Fast do Souls Fly?

Coffee at 3pm

Slowly heading back to reality.

I had a sleepless, almost, night; many thoughts swirling through the darkness. One of them was “How fast do souls fly?”

Now you may think that is an odd thought, but let me explain.

Many years ago, I was sitting in my father’s taxi (I drove for him nights and weekends) when I had a vivid memory of my Aunt Hazel. She wasn’t really an aunt, she was my Godmother. Aunt Hazel was the antithesis of my prim and proper mother; a farmer’s wife.

Kids didn’t pee, they piddled, babies didn’t poo, they shit their nappies, and the dogs weren’t playing in the yard they were f******* (I’m sure that permanently curled my mother’s hair).

But out of the blue, I had strong recollections of this grand irreverent lady. It happened that I was stopped on the suburban taxi stand nearest her house, and the hour was the hour in which she collapsed and died.

Did she pass by to say farewell?

Reflecting on events last night. I was watching the football game on TV and during the second half, the power flickered three times, the last flicker was strong enough to trip my transformer and I needed to reset the PC. It also burnt out the bulb in my bedroom. Nothing unusual, we often have blackouts. I went to the shop to buy a new bulb, and mentioned that the power surging had blown my bulb; but I was informed there wasn’t a power surge, which was repeated by another neighbour, and again in the bar.

It was moments after the football game that my brother rang to inform me that my mother had passed away two hours earlier.

Had my mother passed by to say farewell?

Uncanny, but I thought that I would share this with you. The first time with Aunt Hazel, was a single incident, but twice is becoming more than a coincidence.

Good bye Mum

Tô na luta

black-mourning-ribbonI am mourning.

Last night I got the phone call that everyone dreads.

My younger brother rang and told me that our mother had passed away two hours earlier.

A nasty shock, as I had spent 20 minutes on the phone to her the previous night. Our usual Saturday night rendezvous and she sounded on top of the world and I told her so and she agreed.

A time for reflection. I am the eldest and Mum was always there, and now she’s not.

I will not be travelling for the funeral, because of the fuso horario (can’t think of the English) crossing the International Date Line means I would arrive after the funeral. Got it, time zone.

Mum and I had always been matter of fact about such matters, and she had once said that if I ever come back to NZ, do it before she goes; after is pointless. I never thought I would be in that position, my brother agreed on the phone.

Mum was never up with technology, she wouldn’t have known a blog if she tripped over it… but in the event there is a celestial blog; Bye Mum, we had tough times and good times, now I have memories to treasure.


Closer to Extinction

An aurock

Aurochs are extinct.

They are sort of an old species of hairy cow.

Tomorrow, I take a step closer to extinction.

Yes, it is my birthday. Having completed 61 years of my allotted span of X years.

Death is not a case of if, but rather when. It is the only guarantee that we have in life, we just don’t know the ‘when’ factor.

Would it help to know the ‘when’?

I think not.

Would it be nice to live forever?

I think not.

One of Sean Connery’s very early films, way before 007, Zardos, in which people live forever and yearn for death as a freedom from the desperate boredom of forever. It certainly portrays forever as not being much fun.

I am posting this today, because I will not be blogging much tomorrow. I am instead having a BBQ at the botequim (neighbourhood bar) next door. There will be a lot of cooking and BBQs involve a certain level of  ‘social lubrication.’ By the end of the evening I should be suitably lubricated. I won’t get drunk; that is for fools. I stopped getting drunk many years ago when I realised that I wasn’t actually a fool… most of the time. We all have lapses.


Death overtakes us all, in the end

Boys ponder a dead pigeon

I was reminded yesterday during a conversation with Beatrice of death. Beatrice is six, she’s my neighbour; such a young age to be talking of the finality of death.

One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life was to explain to my three and five year old daughters why their rabbits and guinea pigs had been slaughtered by neighbourhood dogs who tore into their run.

I couldn’t prevent their young eyes from the disaster, it was they who discovered the carnage. I am sure that the sight of broken bodies, blood and fur have remained with them all their lives. Try as we do, we cannot hide children from death. Its ugliness is with us daily, whether in life or the news.

Yet we fear death, we try to run from it; but no matter how hard we run, how fast, death catches us all in the end. Running is futile. The only thing we can do to cheat death, is to leave a footprint for all time to see.

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