Tag Archive: English


Mental Fog

mentalfogI have just recovered from a Nap-fu. Actually recovering would be a better way to put it.

I am suffering from a mental fog. My eyelids are heavy, my vision is turvo (out of focus), I am not particularly thinking straight (you have no idea of the effort it is taking to press every single key here), and the coffee isn’t working.

It’s hot out there. Hotter than yesterday, going outside is like walking into an oven, hot and dry. And the botequim is shut.

Now I have a confession.

I have just read a blog post that started oiff with a rant about a couple of things. One of them pricked my conscience; sport fishing.

Look, I caught a fish!

Look, I caught a fish!

Now in my later years, I see there is no sport in fishing regardless fo the argument whether fish feel pain or not. But why is it that we are raised on fishing? As kids we used to gether at the local creek and catch cockabullies, put them in a jar, then a bucket at home where they’d all eventually die. Later, about the age of ten our father used to take us to the wharves at Lyttelton and we’d fish, he taught us to fish with lines. We’d catch foot long sharks, kill them, and then what? They went into the garden as fertiliser; we never ate them. Kids get fishing rods as presents, birthdays and Christmas. Why do we raise our kids on fishing when it’s not necessary?

Look at the kid in the picture, full of pride. But what of the fish, will it be eaten? Probably not at this size.

So what’s the point?

I could understand it if we had to fish for survival, but we don’t. We are just destroying another of nature’s creatures.

I have never taught any of my kids to fish.

The Scots are due to have a yes/no referendum about independence. Personlly, it doesn’t bother me one way or the other, it is merely an interesting democratic exercise. However to the Scots, it’s important. The referedum is a civilised way of doing it.  On the other side of the Channel, the Spansih are totally different. It has caused protests, deaths and outlawing of some. Why? Why can’t the Spaniards behave in a civilised manner? Why can’t the Spanish government see that if the Catalans, and others want independence perhaps because they don’t like the way the government is ‘representing’ the people, If the government were doing things right, then maybe independence may not be an issue.

Then there are the people, maybe the issue is national pride. But whatever, the government should be supporting the people to overcome the problems, not behaving in a dictatorial manner to prevent it.

Yahoo is stupid. Just as stupid as Google and Twitter. Yahoo sends me a daily news feed, I delete without opening it. You’d think after so many months, they’d get the message… Duh, he doesn’t want this”. Today, to add insult to injury, they sent it twice!

My kids have just left. They have English with me on Thursdays. stepdaughter, daughter and future daughter-in-law. Now I have an hour to get organised for the course…

Have a good day.

Later.

Horrid Stuff

baden_baden_stout_dark_ale_I mentioned yesterday that I had bought two bottles of stout in the supermarket.

It featured in my post What beer be this? today.

It’s bloody horrid. Not all stout-like. It has a brown head instead of the lovely near white of Guinness.

I had it with lunch. Now I can drink most things but the last inch went down the sink along with the rest of the bottle.

Life is full of disappointments.

The other bottle has left the fridge and will remain on the shelf until I can give it away.

All this unrest in the world. If the governments were doing their jobs, there wouldn’t be unrest. The unrest is simply the people saying “we’re not freakin’ happy.” Yesterday Rio returned to violence after the rise in bus fares which caused the original unrest in October. Now there is unrest in Bosnia along with the continued problem in Ukraine.

Why are the police attacking the protesters?

Why aren’t the police attacking the government for bad policies?

The paradigm is all up the shit. The problem is not the people, the problems lie squarely at the feet of the governments.

It is my opinion that anyone who wants to be a politician should be taken out the back and shot because they are inherently evil. Politicians should be elected from those nominated by the people, not chosen by political parties. The party system is crap, and gives us shitty politicians as a result.

I went out for sushi last night after work. I love my sushi, also it’s healthy. But I had too much wasabi and spent the night trotting off to the kitchen for iced water; so a very disturbed night.

The heat continues. Although this afternoon there has been some cloud, but it hasn’t reduced the heat. Hopefully the sun will be behind a cloud when I have to walk to work.

I posted this on another blog yesterday.

jesusenglish

Are there really people that bloody stupid?

For pities sake, Jesus wrote the Bible, and he did it in English…

Honestly, there are some people who need a brain transplant.

Must get ready to look like a teacher.

Oh, tomorrow is Saturday, so…

happyfriday

Later.

 

 

 

I thought about it…

bacon-and-eggs

I lacked half the ingredients

Yes, I thought about bacon and eggs for breakfast, but I lacked half the ingredients, eggs. So that idea went by the board.

So I had coffee, blogged and a nap.

Hamburgers for lunch, cheese bacon and mushroom, yum yum.

Brazilian restaurants are racing against time. Next week the Confederations Cup begins, then in 2014 FIFA World Cup. This means that there are going to be a lot of visitors who have no notion of Portuguese; and waiters who have similar ideas about English, em passe. Some restaurants are getting their menus translated, some have recruited English teachers, and some have had their fare loaded onto tablets with translation facilities and images of the food.

This is picanha, alcatra, contra-file, etc

This is picanha, alcatra, contra-file, etc

One restaurant has the novel idea of stuffed animals.

The customer doesn’t know, the waiter can’t explain, he simply shows a stuffed cow for beef.

They even have a stuffed Kermit, because carne da rã (frog portions) is popular here and many restaurants serve it.

Cooler today, I haven’t tried to turn the sun off… there is no sun, somebody beat me to it.

The Americans have finally found a civilised use for drones instead of bombing the shit out of Pakistan and such places…

beer-delivery-drone-600x338

Technology should be used for peaceful purposes.

Later.

 

Basking in Sunshine

british-weatherYes, in Rio de Janeiro, that’s what we normally do. We also do broiling, roasting, sweating in the sunshine.

I just read a headline that England is expected to be basking in the sunshine, now of course, for England this is news.

For Rio this is not news, it would be news if the beer ran out.

Yesterday I mentioned Prozac. It was a joke, I don’t need Prozac, I have coffee.

coffeeprozacBut I was surprised during the week to read that artists, musicians, writers, composers, philosophers consider that using Prozac heightens their experience and makes them more creative.

I get that with coffee, hell, if I took Prozac too, I’d be a creative blathering wreck; but then I am a blogger, what can I say? <—– Rhetorical question.

I had a thought…

But it escaped.

I need more coffee!

*pregnant pause*

Got coffee, thought returned. Warning, this is offensive – to Americans

Long ago there was no television, some of us remember those days… unfortunately. But, we did have radio. One of the radio programmes that I enjoyed was The Goon Show.

Now this programme is solid proof that Americans have no culture.

Most Britains understand the Goon humour without having to think about it, similarly Australians and New Zealanders.

This is due to understanding our culture.

Americans just look blankly and go WTF? See, absolutely no understanding of culture.

If you have the time, listen to this…


.

The Goon Show was one form of humour that could never be converted to television.

I used to have this LP (Long Player record, for those too young to remember LPs), in fact I had many of their LPs.

There, just a touch of nostalgia.

Must blog along.

Later.

Oh, you put your fur on…

LixoSnooze

All is well in my world

I love the quizzical look on Lixo’s furry face when I get out of the shower. First he flees from the prospect of getting dripped on (he hates water), then he follows me to the bedroom and sits there watching me dry and put some clothes on. He studies me intently and then meows; I have translated that ‘meow’ to mean, “Oh good, you’ve put some fur on!”

Once I have my ‘fur’ on, he goes off to the sofa for a snooze, which he is doing now, happy in the knowledge that all is right in his world.

Last night during my lesson, I announced to my student that I should have pizza for dinner. It was my intention to ring-out for my favourite, bacon & mushroom.

What was left after dinner

What was left after dinner

After class, I went to the supermarket for some therapy shopping because I basically had nothing in the fridge. As I was passing the deli section I saw they had pizza bases, two for R$2.99… “Hmmm,” I thought to myself, got an open jar of mushrooms and some leftover bacon, “Hmmm,” I repeated. The pizza I had planned on was R$30.99, the prospect of a R$1.50 pizza base with left overs began to immediately appeal; simply add some mustard and ketchup to the base, cheese, tomato (also left over) and a generous sprinkle of oregano.

And, I have supper for tonight, reheated pizza leftover.

I didn’t have my roast pork yesterday as planned, it wasn’t quite thawed. But I will have it today, but I must go off to the sacolão (fruit & vege) to get some pumpkin, I have an urge to have roast pumpkin. So I am off as soon as I have finished waffling here.

Google is really stupid. I have my Google search set for English; after all it is my native language. Every time I open it, it asks me if I want Google in Portuguese. Now if Google was sooooo smart, it would have realised after more than a year that, “NO! I don’t want Google in Portuguese!”

Then you get things like this…

demotivational_posters_google_Its_another_stupid_post_P-s492x308-129093

Justin Bieber is one of the 50 top women on the web…

Smart, really damned smart… Google has got its algorithms in a twist.

That’s it! Off to the sacolão

Later.

 

Kiss My A… ah Donkey

Yes, Kiss my ass

Damn, three days… Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun. You’ll notice in the accompanying image that I chose the caption carefully, if I had meant the obtuse I would have written ‘arse’ as would have any self respecting user of he Queen’s English, and not ‘ass’ as the Americans would have it; I mean, why take a perfectly lovely animal’s name in vain?

I often have to explain to my students why American English isn’t really English at all, but rather a dialect. Similar in many respects to Brazilian Portuguese and that which is spoken in Portugal. After all both America and Brazil have had the same amount of time to corrupt their mother tongue.

Granda's Trunk

I have been busy, not so much on the blogging, you see I attacked one of my old HDs the other day and managed to recover many images and photos that I thought were lost to the world. The ass being one of them, I just couldn’t resist using it.  You know what it’s like when you discover something, it’s a bit like opening a trunk in grandma’s attic that you never saw before. You can’t just shut the lid, you have to explore everything and you’ll settle for nothing less.

I did post three pertinent commentaries on Shit Happens about political stuff, but that was all yesterday, despite my best intentions. Wednesday was a split day and just exhausted me; another reminder that I am on the way down the other side of that proverbial hill we are always talking about when we get to forty. If you’re not there yet, you’ll understand when you are; if you’re over forty, then I’m sure that you will sympathise with me.

Z, such a beautiful flourish at the end of the alphabet

Now my spell checker is telling me that I have spelt ‘sympathise’ wrongly, oh, and ‘spelt.’ You see I haven’t yet discovered how to, or indeed, if there is a way to change WordPress English to the Queen’s. You see Americans don’t understand that the verb ‘to spell’ is irregular and as for replacing the ‘s’ with a ‘z’ I must admit that makes sense. The letter ‘z’ is a beautiful letter, I remember the days before PCs when I used to practice calligraphy, ‘z’ is so beautiful and rightly should be used more. But, I fight my sensibilities with my need for the traditional, you see I am such a traditionalist.

Mark Twain

The need for a simpler form of English is not a new idea. Mark Twain came up with a way we can simplify English spelling. “They say that English is one of the hardest languages to learn because of the multiple sounds from letters and all the exceptions to the rules. You know what I’m talking about. Read the following article and let me know what you think.”

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish “y” replasing it with “i” and iear 4 might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x” — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

May be one day, maybe… I just hope that I am not around to see it.

I found this in my treasures, so I uploaded it…

A pair of Gulf fritillary, Agraulis vanillae, mating before they set about destroying my passionfruit vines with their offspring. If they are not checked (the caterpillars) they will decimate the plants, strip them of all foliage; and I happen to like passionfruit more than caterpillars of the Agraulis vanillae. The clip is nothing startling, nor is it pornographic, it is nature very tastily portrayed.

Well, that has taken nearly an hour and one coffee, which is certainly not even broaching the level necessary for minimal survival. I’m off to make more.

Later

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