Tag Archive: FIFA


Tulibu dibi douchoo

Yesterday, after I left you here, I went to explore the world beyond my gate. Predictably, I got eleven metres and was inexplicably drawn to the botequim… ūüôā

As I got a beer from the fridge and setteled down with a chilled glass to pour my beer Mariah Carey’s ‘Without you’ was playing on the radio, when it came to the chorus, I was singing “Ken lee, tulibu dibi douchoo”… weird? I had forgotten the real lyrics in favour of this.

For those of you who are wise in the workings of the net, you’ve probably seen the video clip of the Bulgarian girl in a song contest and understand what I’m talking about. For those of you not so afflicted, I give you the video clip, so that you too can sing like a Bulgarian…

That is just so hilarious.

There having got that out of my system, let’s move right along.

Remember the weather two days ago? Yesterday’s post Like a Politician, well, we got it yesterday.

Thunder and lightning for a couple of hours, then at 4:15pm and the heavens opened. In the next 45 minutes we got nearly 15mm of rain. A square 4gal paint can in my yard had 6″ of water in it. The street drains blocked up with leaves and rubbish and I was out in shorts trying to clear the three around the botequim so the water could escape The river that flows beside the bar, normally a polluted little trickle, became a raging torrent with huge waves; it would have been too dangerous to use it for white water rafting.

After the deluge, I was exhausted. In the morning I had also stretched my reserves and pulled the roadside weeds out. Adding the excesses of the storm…

I have a question. Why do we elect unemployed, unqualified people into the government? They then become ministers in charge of departments that they know nothing about. The only answer that I can logically come up with is that we are fools.

It rained on and off over night and is cool, I have done nothing but concentrate on caffeine levels.

Finally someone else has the balls to challenge Sepp Blathermouth as president of FIFA. Maybe we’ll get some football news now. Sepp Blathermouth is like an old box of milk that is past it’s consumption date, sour and lumpy, chuck it out. That means there are two candidates challenging the incumbent.

That’s about it for today, it’s too early for anything to have actually happened. And remember, Ken lee, tulibu dibi douchoo… ūüôā

Later.

Feeling Better

futurecoffee

The future of coffee

Not 100%, but certainly better than yesterday.

At least the scientific principle of “every action has an opposite and equal reaction” means I no longer fart when I sneeze or cough.

I am still drinking tea… Oh, I miss my coffee. I slept almost 7pm to 8am.

Yesterday, I drank wine, no beer, too cold. I watched the Flamengo game, good result 3-2 to us, and by then I was done in. So it was home to bed.

Is this to be the future of coffee?

I hope I never see it.

There are some things in this world that leave me appalled, this would be one of them.

I did get some good news yesterday. After all my trials and tribulations of the past weeks in getting photos, etc right, my passport has been processed and is winging its way across the globe to me. So that solves half my problems. The service was quite quick, they estimated 10 working days, but it was less than a week.

I have just been for a short constitutional around the park in the sun. Yes, there is sun today, although there are still some ominous clouds lurking overhead. It exhausted me, so I’m going to take a Nap-fu break, back soon…

Noisy little baskets

Noisy little baskets

Woken by the insane twittering of sparrows on my fence in courtship. Which can’t be measured against Yvonne’s raucous kookaburra from yesterday (comment), but it’s what I got.

I need more tea.

UEFA is talking about abandoning FIFA over this report, and there are calls for Europe to boycott the World Cup. The crunch is coming.

So this is what you are going to get for now.

I’m going to drink my tea at the botequim and watch the ominous clouds.

Maybe later/maybe not.

…later

mondaygoneyetI never renege on a promise…

Well, mostly never.

The plants got watered, I had Nap-fu practice and the washing is in.

I went shopping and bought a thyme plant which is now growing alongside my sage. The shop was out of short-grained rice for sushi, I have to go back on Friday. Lunch wasn’t anything to write home about, the best thing was two handles of beer.

Home and another Nap-fu.

I got a surprise. The techy-type bloke informed me that my LCD screen was ready and functioning. I was out the door and round to his place in a flash. Turned out it was the in-line transformer had burnt out. R$30 for the part.

So, I am gazing at my 17″er again. So different. It’s like when the first cinerama theatres opened, you need to move your head from left to right to get the whole picture.

The elections here are over. Marina made a dramatic decline towards the end and was beaten by A√©rcio Neves, who will run off against the incumbent blonde bimbo on the 26th. Which means we’ve got another three weeks of political crap on TV every night.

The brain's GPS is located in the frontal lobe

The brain’s GPS is located in the frontal lobe

Turns out the brain does have a GPS. No wonder I do a left turn when I pass the botequim… The Nobel Prize for medicine was awarded to three scientists who discovered it.

Turns out that Twitter doesn’t have a brain; something I have suspected for a long time. I got three suggestions to follow today. All SEO types. All rejected without thinking.

Ebola is in the news again. First case contracted outside of the African continent; in Spain.

Another angle on the virus, we are reaping what we have sown. The cause, deforestation is destroying the habitats of virus carrying fruit bats driving them closer to urban areas. All the countries involved have sold their timber to foreign logging companies; who are literally raping the land. So once again, man is the author of his own misfortune.

The Latvian election managed to keep the Russian threat at bay.

The current problem of many European Muslims heading off to the Middle East to join IS has been identified as a rebelling against laws that ban traditional Muslim dress, veils and the like. Muslims are saying that their religious rights are being eroded. I put the ball in the court, when in Rome do as the Romans do. If you don’t like it, stay home.

A report saying that Septic Blathermouth of FIFA must go to restore credibility. I agree. FIFA needs new blood.

The TV news has started, I’m off.

Later.

Lie kid’ll armpit

brazil-loss-to-germany-memeThere, figure that one out before the end of this post.

Sweet dreams are made of these… It came to me at some stage through the night. I had to get up at 2:30am to write it down for fear of forgetting it. It’s an entry from an old book called New Zild and How to Speak it.

There are many jokes around the net about the Brazilian catastrophe. I think that this was the best. Given the levels of agony, sadness and shame experienced by Brazil, you have to bounce back.

Personally, I was so affected by the drama, that several times I found myself¬† trying to move the cursor with my cigarette packet instead of the mouse; taking time to recognise the error.¬† When you sink to this level of desperation, it’s definitely time for more coffee.

At least Brazil’s defeat provided some excitement, unlike yesterday’s game, Holland vs Argentina which prompted on commentator on BBC to say that the tedium of a game of chess is more exciting. I was in class, so I didn’t see the game, but I had the BBC page open for live comments on the game. I saw the last few minutes of extra time and the shoot out, that was exciting.

The upshot is that Brazil now play Holland on Saturday for third place, surely we can manage that. Dutch manager is grumbling about their ignominious fate.

Headline news! Justin Bieber got two years probation for the hideous offence of vandalism. Why didn’t the judge just give him a red card and send him home? Or at least ban him from singing ever again, now that would be a community service.

Pamploma – image: BBC

Two men were gored by bulls in the annual Pamploma Bull Run. Idiots abound.

No sympathies from this quarter.

FIFA are a bunch of bloody cowards. In the matter of the Colombian who destroyed the Brazilian team, they have found no cause to interfere with the referee’s decision. That’s the whole point, the referee didn’t make a decision.

Maybe FIFA should be sent to Pamploma… Let the bulls make a decision, or an incision or two.

erdinger-weissbierJust in… No, not the Bieber again! News.

A pub in Galway, Ireland reduced the price of a pint of Erdinger by 50 cents for every German goal; by the end of the night punters were paying 50p a pint, the poor bar manager was in a state of panic.

Apparently it paid off, because the pub was packed for the next semi the following night.

Been trying to rain all day, it wets the ground a bit, then buggers off; an hour later, it does it again. The day is so dull that I have the light on.

I must blog along, the emails about comments and visits have mounted up again.

I’ll leave you with this bit of real estate news…

MaracanaForSale

Oh, I am a naughty boy.

Did you manage to figure out the post title?

Try this: “Like it, or lump it” But if you are a Kiwi or not, that’s the way we talk.

Later. (I’m lying this time)

 

The Biter Bit

I have a half hour before the kickoff between Argentina and Nigeria at 1pm.

There is no doubt that Suarez applied his infamous bite - Mage: BBCNews

There is no doubt that Suarez applied his infamous bite – Image: BBCNews

The title, of course, refers to Suarez’ bite of the Italian. I don’t follow European football and I was unaware that this is not the first time, nor the second time that he has committed this despicable act, but the THIRD! Leaving me even more shocked. The first offence he was banned for six games, the second, ten games. This time she should be banned from the sport for LIFE!

I saw the footage during the game, the video leaves no doubt that he did it regardless of his claims that he was ‘shouldered’ by the Italian is bullshit; it was nothing of the sort. And history tells us that he did indeed bite him, as he has committed an impressively nefarious list of infractions including unsportsmanship, handing the ball, racial abuse, as well as the two previous bites; all of which have lead to sanctions.

We don’t need animals like this in sport!

FIFA is investigating…. there’s NOTHING to investigate!

The biter bit title comes from a high school English class. I can’t remember the context, I believe something to do with poetry, but it was so appropriate.

Today is a holiday here in Rio because of the game at Maracan√£, I had a morning planned.

Make fresh coffee

Bacon & Eggs for breakfast

Bog and shower

Replace the shelf under the kitchen sink

So far, I have made the coffee and had a bog…

You can see that I have taken the route of least resistance, although the bog… No, I’ll spare you the details.

The shelf under the kitchen sink remains, disintegrating, under the sink.

Bacon & Eggs are now planned for lunch along with a weinerschnitzel steak.

An eternity waiting

An eternity waiting

My PC was sluggish, it was taking forever for anything to happen, although in reality the time could’ve been measured in seconds. When you’re at the keyboard, that’s an eternity.

Even FireFox was having hiccoughs.

Not surprising, it’s been on 24/7 for the last 12 days.

So, I shut everything down, and rebooted.

I searched for a reboot funny/humour image without success, and apparently there is nothing funny about having to reboot your PC.

The US has upset Kim Jong-un. He’s threatening war over a movie portrayal of him. Geez, he’s a dork!

Nice day out there, already passed kick off, and Messi has already scored.

I’m off to cook breakfast lunch.

Later.

 

Warts and All

warthand

Warts have a better chance of going viral

I tried, I really did, I thought yesterday’s post had a chance to go viral.

But it appears warts have a better chance.

I need to rethink my strategies.

Silly Dept

I have decided who will win the FIFA World Cup.

No, none of the teams, although one maybe declared the winner and get to hold 5kgs of gold aloft.

No, not even FIFA will be a winner, despite gaining $billions.

The real winners will be the makers of silly hats.

sillyhats

Yes, they’ll be the real winners.

Cameroon-Vs-Brazil-World-Cup-2014Brazil will be frothing at the bung come 5pm with the game against Cameroon.

As I see it, Brazil needs a win to stay ahead of Mexico should they win their game.

Speaking of FIFA, did you know that FIFA earned $10.5bn in the last World Cup in South Africa, while the hosts gained a paltry $500m.

That’s just plain wrong. FIFA outlays nothing! The hosts do all the outlaying.

It’s the same here in Brazil this year. The whole paradigm is wrong, the hosts should be getting the billions and FIFA be satisfied with what’s left over.

For whom the bell tolls

For whom the bell tolls

The world has never been so much aware of the imbalance. Septic Blathermouth and his toxic cronies will be the death of FIFA. The death knell is already sounding.

The saying, and title for Ernest Hemingway’s novel came from the Meditation #17Perchance, he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him;” I think that applies so perfectly to Septic Blathermouth, he’s one sick puppy.

I believe that the Qatar World Cup will be the last under the guise of FIFA. Basically because Qatar is so damned rich it doesn’t care how much it spends.

But it will never be held again in a country that is so strapped for cash, that they are imposing austerity measures, unless FIFA foot the bill; or there is a massive rebalancing of the profits.

Back to the Pope. He has excommunicated the Italian mafia, but he still says no to drugs. Weird, most of the mafia money comes from them. Decriminalise drugs and you strangle a major income source for the mafia; which means more Catholics saved from the fires of Hell.

Which leads to consider does Hell exist? And if it exists, is it exothermic or endothermic?

Consider this, it’s been around for a while, so you may/may mot have seen it, either way, enjoy or enjoy it again.

HellHypothesis

I am now going to press the new key on my keyboard.

Viral-Marketing-Strategies1

and see if this works…

I’m getting desperate.

Now comes the time for an important decision, coffee or a nap?

*Cogitating*

Later.

Today is Lorem Beersum

Lots of footballerum

Lots of footballerum

Fishem chipsum for lunch

And football and beer for dinner!

Yes, all those months and years of planning, Valckes criticisms and Seth Balthermouth’s heartburn.

Kick off is only an hour and a bit away.

The opening ceremony is on telly now, and the Brazilian team have just arrived at the stadium.

Despite all the delays and worries, the World Cup is HAPPENING!

I will be off to the botequim shortly, about beer o’clock, so if i don’t do this now, done it won’t be.

They have rigged up a large screen to project the game, so all will see.

More mundane matters. Last night I asked one of the locals if he knew of a plumber who fixes roof tanks; turned out I was talking to one. Fortuitous. Reggie came around this morning and after trying several theories without success, he was up on the roof. Yes, the tank was full, despite his doubts that it was; yes the ballcock functioned as it should. He came to the conclusion that something was blocking the exit. I told him that in the first place. He took out a section of pipe, and sure enough two pieces of plastic bag were in the pipe.

I am not right ALL the time, but this time I was right again.

I now have water, no more cold showers this winter. He also replaced the element in the shower head, so now I will have hot hot water.

lorem_ipsumLorem ipsum…

Do you have any idea what it means? It appears Latin, but when it’s translated, it’s nonsense.

Apparently is was a piece of Latin literature, but it has been adulterated and some versions contain non-words and embarrassing phrases.

Seth Blathermouth is still fizzing at the bung, incensed that the EUFA have called for him not to run for FIFA president again.

He should listen, because not only EUFA are clambering for him to step aside, many at ground level want the same.

The Global Obesity Bomb

The Global Obesity Bomb

EU court has decided that obesity should be classed as a disability. It’s not, it’s an ‘ism’.

The global obesity problem could be solved simply if governments would legislate against HFCS and sweeteners in sodas and food.

It’s not so much junk/fast food, but the corporate use of HFCS, high fructose corn syrup has an imbalance of fructose that the body can’t process; the excess goes straight to the liver and gets converted to FAT. It has to be banned. HFCS is cheaper than normal sugar, so the corporations are once again putting profits above health.

I do believe the clock has ticked around to beer o’clock…

50 minutes to kick off.

Later.

 

Lorem ipsum

Carbeerhydrates

Carbeerhydrates

I’m going to use that when I can’t think of a title.

I have seen the enemy, and the enemy is carbeerhydrates.

Yes, they are the enemy, those and carbreadhydrates.

I eat and drink and eat a lot of these horrible hydrates.

But they are my comfort food.

Tomorrow is the kick off for the FIFA World Cup. Half of Brazil is excited, the other half… I explained yesterday.

Dilma Rousseff was on TV last night with a damage control presidential message.

All the hype of the past years, and now it’s tomorrow.

No classes, as it has been declared a public holiday.

The rain has stopped momentarily, I was lucky last night, no rain going to work, it only started once I was safely indoors.

Water cannon on the streets of Britain – image BBC News

Political bullshit. London have approved the purchase of three water cannon to use against protesters, a move supported by the prime minister.

If the government need water cannon, it’s not because of the protesters, it’s because the government are failing miserably in their job.

If the government were doing their job as it should be done, then there wouldn’t be any protesters!

The FIFA corruption row is deepening. Seth Blathermouth has been told in no uncertain terms not to run for another term, because he’s become an embarrassment for his myopic views. More damage control.

Two failures this week. Hilary Clinton’s book only received one star votes on Amazon, she’s mortified and reconsidering her run for president. The other I can’t find now, a famous somebodyette in a hyped up movie failed at the box office, grossing just $300,00 in its first weekend in 100+ locations.

I’m going to eat a banana while contemplating the benefits of a nap.

Later.

 

Emoji – ÁĶĶśĖáŚ≠ó

Well, another day, and I learn something new.

Emoji (ÁĶĶśĖáŚ≠ó are smileys ūüôā

The day is wasted if I don’t learn something new. So I am happy before 9am.

No, this is a plumber's job

No, this is a plumber’s job

My happiness is due to a new Happiness Engineer.

Rachel, who visits this blog often, if not daily (well, the last three posts, she made it here twice) is now a Happiness Engineer, she landed a plum job.

Congratulations, Rachel, as I commented, dream jobs are hard to come by.

Now all she has to do is explain what a Happiness Engineer does, then I will have learned two new things today.

tgif-cat21TGIF! note exclamation mark magically uplifting the tone of my text

TGIF! also magically uplifts one ready for the weekend.

Right now, I need a TGIF coffee.

*heads off to the kitchen*

Got coffee, makes TGIF even better.

Paid the power and ISP bills yesterday, so as long as PC keeps within its vocational boundaries, I’ll be around for the next month.

Mind you, I have to pay the rent yet, but that’s not due until the 15th, after that I might have power and net, but using it from the street. AV = another vagabond.

steak-and-kidney-pie

Mine won’t have the frilly bits

Supermarket again today, the one I went to Wednesday didn’t have agua com gas (sparkling mineral water), and the one I plan to go to today is the only one of four supermarkets that has kidneys. I am planning meal-sized steak ‘n kidney pies for the freezer, oh nom noms.

Two of my last three posts have won/got 15 likes. I’ve never broken that barrier. Come on people, you can do better than that.

I read an article this morning on the Malvinas/Falklands issue. Can’t find it now… but it called the Falklands Malvinas stating that the Malvinas were known in Britain as Falklands. I take issue with that, They are known as the Falklands worldwide, only in Argentina and some Spanish speaking supporters are they known as Malvinas. Come on MSM, get your shit together and get the facts right.

2014-Brazil-World-Cup-theme-wallpaper-downloads-1366x768-01Six days to go! The FIFA World Cup kicks off on the 12th. Who is going to win it? Can Brazil make it to Hexa-Campe√£o (sixth world champion)?

Of course, I am rooting for Brazil. I live here, and NZ was knocked out by Mexico.

Many are hoping for another Spanish win, and there are several other teams that could well make it.

But the political storm here needs a win to pour oil on troubled waters. There are many here in Brazil that are not happy with the cup being held here, and are demanding education, health and public security have the same money spent on them. They are demanding, for example, hospitals of the same standard as the arenas (stadiums).

FIFA is beset with more corruption accusations. It’s time for FIFA to be frozen out and for the world to support a different/new governing body without Seth Blatter and all his cronies. They’ve had their day and screwed up.

Bashar al-Bastard has won a one-sided election and is president of Syria for another seven years. Of course, the elections didn’t include rebel areas, just those that guaranteed the required result.

I wonder whether elections shouldn’t be run by a third party, a neutral country and not by the incumbent government. Maybe in that way countries might get a fairer deal. I haven’t heard of an election in the last forty years that hasn’t been marred by corruption of one sort or another.

I do feel a nap coming on…

But first, I have to clean up Kitty poo under the sink again; discovered when I got my coffee.

Later.

Clorinha likes to watch TV.

If she keeps pooping under the sink, I'll turn the TV off

If she keeps pooping under the sink, I’ll turn the TV off

 

 

 

I went to bed with May

And we weren't playing yoyos

And we weren’t playing yoyos

…and I woke up with June.

It’s not often I wake up with a different woman than I went to bed with. I’m not saying ‘never’ because it has happened… um, twice.

Ah, the folly of youth.

I found an old photo. One taken the last time I lived in Cuzco, Peru.

An odd set of circumstances.

I met a guy in Norton Rat’s Tavern, a bar on the main plaza owned by an oboe-playing American ex-biker, who unearthed my interest in shooting and invited me to participate in the local smallbore (.22) club.

I did. I met him on the appropriate street corner, and we went to the outdoor rifle range in the middle of the city. The range was rudimentary at best, but I took my turn.

As soon as the targets were examined I was invited to represent Peru in a fullbore (7.62) event that weekend against Bolivian and Chilean clubs.

Here I am, at the military range near Calca

Here I am, at the military range near Calca

The rifles belonged in a museum, some were so dilapidated that the woodwork was tapped together with insulation tape (you can see it between the front and mid bands. The first detail, my rifle bolt was so full of oil that with each shot my forehead was sprayed with hot oil; quite unnerving.

When I proceeded to dismantle the bolt to remove the excess oil, the RSO (Range Safety Officer) was aghast, “You can’t do that!” When he realised that I knew more about the rifle than he did, he shut up and let me alone, watching with interest.

The following details were much more comfortable.

We won the day.

That was the last time I shot, 2001 just before I returned to Brazil.

Clorinha had a sore eye yesterday after we had been playing in the praça; her left eye was all but closed. I noticed this at bedtime; she was particularly in need of cuddles. I fell asleep with her purring under my chin, as I dreamed of how I was going to get her to the vet. This morning, all gone, eye open.

Yesterday I assembled the table parts that I found. It’s bigger than I expected. Now, I have the problem, of where to put it. I also have to get/make a centre; before considering that problem. It is one of those tables with a glass centre, replacing it with suitable glass could be a very expensive exercise. So I am considering a wooden centre covered with white vinyl to contrast the dark wood.

China has called the American and Japanese dialogue about China’s claims to the sea between China, Philippines and Vietnam at an Asian conference ‘unacceptable’.

It doesn’t consider that the rest of the world considers its maritime claims equally unacceptable; myopic bastards.

FIFA is in the deep poo again. Turns out that the vote for Qatar as the evenue for 2022 was marred by £3m worth of corrupt payments to support the Qatari cause. There are now calls for a re-vote.

Lunch today, I have a large inch-thick beef chop, it will be cubed and curried and eaten with boiled minted potatoes and battered cauliflower florets; oh, nom noms.

My debauchery knows no ends.

Later.

 

 

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