Tag Archive: food


Sperm Bank

Sperm Bank

Puxa, in Portuguese means ‘pull’. Pronounced, pusha.

Terribly confusing for foreigners, while empurre (empoorhy) means ‘push’. Puxa is also used as a polite expression of surprise; whereas those of us of a masculine persuasion, would normally say PORRA! Which is a palavrão (swear word) and actually means ‘sperm’, but used like an English speaking male would use ‘fuck!’

Anyway, moving right along!

My first waking thought a 6:10pm, was Puxa!

One, it was dark; two, it was cold, bitterly cold and I was just in my underwear.

So what happened?

It all started as a pretty normal Saturday. I coffeed, I blogged, I coffeed again, repeat. All the while I was thinking “food’ must get food.” The driving force for this thought was twofold, one, the fridge was empty; and two, I was hungry.



So about 11am I decided to go hunting, rather somewhat like my hunter-gatherer forebears; I went to the supermarket. Finally.

There I hunted for things to go into my trolley (shopping cart for our American cousins), and gathered them.

I planned to buy only essentials like wine, beer and some food.

Things began to fall into my trolley, a bottle of sake, three bottles of Seleção Brasileira (National football team) beer which I saw for the first time, things that would be considered impulse buying. My Nap-fu skills are only exceeded by my impulse buying skills.

Okay, so going to the supermarket wasn’t the worst part of the day, except at the cashier.

Taxi home.

Oh look! They’re having a BBQ at the botequim! That’s about where things went awry.

I put the shopping away in record time, and headed to the bar. I ate, I drank, I was merry. Then I got conned into tending the BBQ, that often happens as my BBQing skills are also well honed. At 4pm, I left a lonely sausage shrivelling on the near dead coals and headed home to test my Nap-fu skills.

Waking to the thought, “Puxa!

I set about defrosting myself. I made fresh coffee, put on my woolly pants and slowly stopped shivering.

This post was written as I thawed.

So Saturday, came and went before I had a chance to blink.

Despite having food in the fridge, I don’t feel like cooking. So the new pizza shop in the neighbourhood is getting a tryout… again. Now, I am waiting for pizza delivery.


What if…

I recently posted one of my memes on another blog; which elicited the reply that a bacon sandwich was not worthy of losing everything should the end of the world arrive.

Upon thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that if the end of the world should arrive, it would be pretty catastrophic. So what are you going to do? Run? Run where? Drive? Drive where? Hide? Hide where?

I think that a slow walk to the kitchen, make a bacon sandwich and open a beer would be about the most sensible thing to do. Then grab a deckchair and go and sit on the veranda, eat my sandwich, drink my beer with a grandstand view of the imposing spectacle.

What would you do if this were to happen?

Up early this morning, blogging all but done. I can see the rest of the day could well involve beer. But I do have to go to the supermarket, a fridge is meant to have food in it as well as beer.

I met Clorinha yesterday. She is the daughter of Cloro right enough, coloured ear tips, tail and the same face smudge as daddy. There’s no denying that she’s daddy’s girl. The only difference is that I don’t think she will have as grand a tail as daddy; that was a one off. She’s not standing yet, but still at the stage where she’s just sprawled on the floor, so it’s too early to take her from mummy, maybe two weeks.




Oh, it’s an exciting life.

Going to post this, finish coffee, shower and go to the supermarket.

Lunch is just a vague idea at the moment. I may, I may not; I am seriously considering those options. Expanding that thought… I may have, I may not have, I may go out for lunch, then I may not, although I probably will…

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with this profound thought…




Not quite of Biblical proportions, but a disaster nevertheless.

Saturday has arrived, that universal day off that one normally devotes to the important things in life like… beer.

I toyed with the idea of going to a BBQ restaurant, but I had steak in the fridge, has to be used, so I put the restaurant idea on hold.

rumpsteakMarinated the steak (3 pieces of rump), heated my cast iron hot plate and dropped on a slab of meat. Couldn’t justify the BBQ in the yard, the weather is too hot, and too little steak. The meat sizzled, the smell of the garlic marinade wafted through the house and eventually I enjoyed the steak.

It was then I discovered that the botequim was closed. My plans to culminate my lunch by washing it down with a well chilled beer were thrown awry.

Because I didn’t have any beer in the fridge, I am left with sparkling mineral water…

Hardly a fitting substitute, especially for a Saturday.

Saw this the other day and thought, yes, that’s me…

“In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.”

It’s time for a nap.



Last Post of the Day

I don't need one of these

I don’t need one of these

Yup, all done, except for this post, no bugle required.

Today is festa junina (June Party), Yes, I know it’s now July, but we couldn’t have it interfering with the football (soccer) now could we? That would have been most unBrazilian.

This post will be short because I have to go out and find a funny straw hat.


funny straw hat

Chapeu de palha (funny straw hat) is essential for these parties where everybody dresses up as a caipira (Brazilian country yokels). Boys with penciled moustaches and farm overalls and girls with penciled freckles, pigtails and gingham dresses.

Music, dancing (sort of like square dancing), eating and drinking are the order of the day night and will go on until near daybreak.

For me, the eating and drinking are okay, the music (loud) I can tolerate, stay up all night… not bloody likely. I will be tucked up in my bed come the witching hour.

festa junina imageFesta junina is also known as festa do São João celebrating the birth of St John the Baptist.

There will be a big bonfire at the street corner and plenty of fireworks. Nothing in Brazil is celebrated without fireworks.

You can see by the picture how to look like a caipira.

Personally, I don’t need a fake moustache and I will go as far as the hat.

But for R$30 it’s a good deal. Open bar, free food, a chance to mingle with the neighbours, some of whom only come out of their houses for this event, because you hardly ever see them during the year.

So it is with heavy heart that I finish this post. My heart is heavy because I am afraid I have left it too late to find a hat, and the longer I prattle here, no doubt the harder it will become.



Crash, Bang!

Irish coffee with chocolate

Irish coffee with chocolate

That was it, crash – bang!

5:30am, and the neighbour’s cat had knocked one of my heavy ceramic dinner plates to meet its demise off the prep-table to shatter the edge on the slate floor.

This is NOT a good way to wake up, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the day. It takes more than coffee to repair the damage.

A strong Irish coffee with chocolate could have gone part way to repairing the damage, but I was so furious that I couldn’t make it.

Quote –

My Monday moaning could well be about the fact that I didn’t get to moan on Monday.

I am suffering a terrible affliction at the moment, it’s called work. Not just work, but it’s worse than split ends, it’s split days. Split days do not bode well with my post load.

It’s now Tuesday late p.m.

That was my opener on Eco-Crap a half hour ago, it applies here too, to explain my absence yesterday, and on other days when I don’t get here.

Looked so good, just fell into the shopping cart

Looked so good, just fell into the shopping cart

A trip for therapy helped me after class, yes, I went to the supermarket; the one that has a whole aisle of drinky-poos.

I got three bottles of wine, a bottle of Cointreau, and a bottle that looks like a Champagne bottle but with Stout Porter in it. I have absolutely no idea what Stout Porter is, except that I like stout.

I bought some food too, but I won’t bore you with those mundane details.

Except the cheese, got some stinky fancy cheeses.

Oh, I got two new knives as well. A carving knife and a bread knife, they are matching and looked so nice, that they fell into the shopping cart too.

Talk about impulse buying, but that is the best part of the therapy.

Should I mention that I bought some dirt? Maybe not, you may think I am silly. Yes, I bought some potting mix, okay?

That’s a rhetorical question, there’s no need to answer.

By the time I got home, put my treasures away, ate the puff pastry cheesy thingies and read the news, it was time for a nap; so here I am late on a Tuesday catching up.

I am not a ‘blogger’, I have discovered. Bloggers are common, I am…

wait for it…

*raises nose 30° to the horizontal*

I am an “artisanel publisher”, there, doesn’t that sound nifty, even a little snobbish? Not part of the hoi polloi anymore; I am separate from the masses.

Thunder pot

Thunder pot

My discovery of the day; chamber piece.

I always thought a chamber piece was a potty, or as some would call it a ‘thunder pot’.

Apparently not.

It’s do do with music in a restricted place…

that takes all the fun out of it.

That means that chamber music isn’t what you’re listening to when you do your business.

Just before I rush off into the wild blue…

Another quote, not mine –

“I have never had a prouder moment as a mother. This is by far your most ridiculous post.” – Dawn’s mother commenting on Fit to Teach


Hung Won-on


Maybe it needs to be screwed in a little more securely

Not to be confused with  a North Korean…

Yes, I did. Hence the brain is not functioning well at the moment. Mind you, it is better than it was at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7.

Not only the head, but also the nether region, I had a beaut dose of diarrhea. I won’t present the full details in order to protect your sensibilities.

It all started as a shopping trip. I had planned to wander around a few shops and make a couple of purchases; things that I had seen Easter weekend. After the first mega-store, Superlar (Super home), my left leg was beginning to ache, so clutching my bag of booty I hobbled off to the only place that I knew of that had seats, beer and food; in that order. One must have one’s priorities right.

Yes, I went to Brazeiro, where I could find the four main essentials, BBQ, salad bar, beer and a nice environment.

stacarolinavistañaNext time, I must take my camera, there are no images of the Brazeiro that I go to on google.

After two beers and a lot to eat, I decided that I would get a bottle of wine, dry white. I do like my wine and this Vistaña from Santa Carolina winery in the Central Valley, Chile was just what the doctor ordered.

I spent the rest of the afternoon quaffing my chilled wine and nibbling on cheese bits.

So far, all was well.

I got a taxi home and saw friends at the botequim next door. One doesn’t want to appear churlish and ignore one’s friends especially on a Saturday afternoon.

It was soon after my arrival that Lincoln, one of the afore mentioned friends, produced a bottle of José Cuervo Tequila… It was about the same time that things began not to go so well and time moved on until I realised that I was chapado (more than a little under the weather).

It was news time, and I thought that retreat was the better part of valour. I went home.

There you have it, a perfect way to waste a Saturday.

I rarely get beyond happy, sometimes a little tiddly, I have even been known to waddle with a starboard list on the way home, but I never get drunk, that was until last night…

Yes, I hung one on…


Not Normal‽

interrobang5gv~s800x800Interrobang ‽

Perplexing, I didn’t know that you could use a question mark and an exclamation mark at the same time. Things like this tend to be unsettling, especially for one who considers oneself as a tad beyond the normal when it comes to language usage.


As an advocate of precision in communication, the concept of the INTERROBANG was introduced by Martin K. Speckter in 1962 in an article written for TYPEtalks Magazine.*

The INTERROBANG was created to fill a gap in our punctuation system where writers often used typographically cumbersome and unattractive combinations of the question mark and exclamation mark to punctuate rhetorical statements where neither the question nor an exclamation alone exactly served the writer. (HOW ABOUT THAT?!) – Interrobang

I see that for those who don’t have the interrobang on their keyboard, yes, you can stop looking now, you won’t find it! The symbol is most used in the format !? or ?!

Websters says it like this: “a punctuation mark ‽ designed for use especially at the end of an exclamatory rhetorical question”

I must get some practice using my interrobangs, it there, wouldn’t it be rather churlish no to take advantage‽


Today has not yet been particularly productive. I have only posted on three blogs, then I decided I needed some therapy, so I went to the supermarket, shopping is such wonderful therapy; besides the fridge was empty.

One shouldn’t have an empty fridge.

Fridge is now full, I can participate in that strange ritual of eating.

I got home and my students arrived for class. We sat in the shade in the praça (park) and had a conversation class. We discussed humour and humourous expressions and they learned what ‘a cheeky bastard’ was; I teach all-round English; something that many English teachers fail in. Students went and I did the only sensible thing there was to do; I had a nap.

The time is now 4pm and it appears that I have done nothing. I have coffee, I’ve fed Lixo, who has returned to his habitual sleeping activity. Lixo has discovered a new trick, if he bumps my hand when I am dishing out cat food or milk… he gets an extra ration as spillage.

I must seriously consider how I should use the remaining two hours and a bit until my mode changes to couch potato. In that time, I must consider more posts, beer o’clock and the possibility of eating; all not necessarily in that order.


I love this ad…

I must get a wriggle on

Priorities are important

Priorities are important

The house looks as though some demented dervish has run amok and I have new students arriving in just over an hour.

Challenge: Make the house presentable…

But first, I must blog, you see I have my priorities in the right order.

My new fridge is working fine, beer is cold.

Random thought, “I must buy some food to put in it.”

Tomorrow is close enough for that. Never do today what you can put off for tomorrow.

Here is the comparison…

Old fridge – nothing fancy, worked, looks terrible. The previous owner had put some adhesive covering on the front and the glue never came off.

Old fridge, a truck

Old fridge, a truck

New fridge, clean and sparkly…


New fridge - a limousine

New fridge, a limousine

So now that I have a ‘new’ fridge, I am expecting lower electricity bills, that combined with this months 18% reduction in tariffs, I should be a millionaire by Easter.

Well, now that I have satisfied my insatiable desire to post on the last blog today, I will set about making the house presentable.


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