Tag Archive: global economy


Strung Out to Dry

I feel like this poor sodding octopus

I feel like this poor sodding octopus

That’s how I feel.

Bloody Daylight Savings Time started here in Brazil last night.

The wall clock says 9:30, the PC clock says 10:30…. My cellphone has decided not to change, see, it hates DST too.

The laundry lady has been and gone, the house is quiet again. No nonsensical chatter.

The living room carpet is also strung out to dry. It’s going to be hot again today, so it should dry quickly.

I am deciding whether to make sushi, or fire up the BBQ. Either way, I’ve not taken anything out of the freezer yet.

You all know that I try to learn something every day. That’s my credo in life.

Yesterday, I learned something new; and I’m not sure I wanted to know this.

Paris got a new sculpture, a sex toy.

sextoy

The sculptor claims it’s a Christmas Tree

Now, I don’t know much about sex toys. After 50+ years of a satisfactory sex life… and thirteen kids, I have never needed to resort to sex toys. Quite frankly this scares me. I mean I am not a prude by any means, and I have an active over-active imagination. But if this is a sex toy, then there are only two places it could possibly go.

My question is, why?

Apparently, some Parisians weren’t happy with it, and it has been vandalise and deflated.

Further in the news, and less raunchy. There is a competition to name the landing site for the comet probe. My suggestion is ‘X’. That maks the spot, no need for a competition.

The pope is ahead of his time. The bishops squashed his ideas of gays and remarried divorsees being recgonised by the church. I seem to remember that his original edict was for bishops to listen to their flock; obviously some didn’t. They’re nothing but doddery old wankers and need to be chucked out. The people need to give these old farts a shock, and all who are affected should denounce their faith.

certifiedoldfartIf I had hair, it would be curling, for the second time just now. I googled ‘Paris sex toy’ to get the above image; then I googled ‘old fart’ to get an image for the above paragraph about the bishops. Well, you try googling those phrases with the Family Filter off, it’ll make your hair curl too. I have the Family Filter off to give me more results, often mistakenly omitted by it.

Talk about Sex Education 101…

Ebola, is much more widespread than being reported. A report from Liberia says that deaths are much higher than official figures.

Try these quotes: ‚ÄúStock markets across the world are starting to crack.” “Last night Europe was heavily in the red,” “stocks have tumbled over 1,000 points through today” “brace for a correction” “panic on Wall Street” “global investors may see the writing on the wall” “If Ebola cannot be contained, then people will likely opt to stay home this year instead of joining massive crowds in closed quarters during key shopping days like Black Friday.” “Obama Administration may have just triggered the next big crash” And they’re all from one article. Now tell me, where is this wonderful recovery that is on every politicians lips?

parentaladvisoryThe world is well on course for wrack and ruin.

My inspiration does not runneth over.

The botequim is open. It’s beer o’clock, I shall go and have one to determine whether I will have sushi or BBQ. If they’re having BBQ, then I’ll have sushi.

All set for further debauchery.

Aren’t Sundays wonderful?

Later.

Arseholes

Your average toilet is pretty much like this

Your average toilet is pretty much like this

I have finally found proof that God doesn’t exist.

He made man in his own image, and put the arsehole in the wrong place. Now, surely God shits, he should have known better or are immortal beings beyond the simple act of defacation…

If God existed, he’d have known that at some time in the future man would invent the toilet.

Then why in God’s name did he have the arsehole pointing backwards?

This thought came to me yesterday, when I had a slightly looser than normal motion which slide down the back of the porcelain leaving an unsightly skid mark that required cleaning in case one had visitors.

Now stop going…. “Ooooh, yuck!” You and everybody else in the world craps. You and everybody else has had this happen. Don’t deny it it. I bet even Queen Elizabeth has had this happen after one or two too many gins.

It’s a valid observation. Just because you haven’t blogged about it doesn’t mean there aren’t some fundamental issues involved here.

LOL – fundamental issues… accidental pun.

It just goes to show that God doesn’t exist, we are the result of intelligent design. Although Mother Nature didn’t foresee the evolution of the toilet either.

Of course, it could have been worse… We could have been designed to poop like a hippopotamus.

Talk about the shit hitting the fan. ūüôā

You have been reading this blog long enough to know that I will tackle any issue that causes me to think. When I think, alarm bells should ring.

Today is Teacher’s Day. My day. It should have been an extra day off in recognition of my dedication. But, I had the day off anyway, so the point was rather pointless. However, I did celebrate, I had a BBQ lunch shared with other freg√ľes (regulars) at the botequim, which also involved beer. It made me so sleepy… I have just woken from a wonderful Nap-fu practice.

Nothing else should happen today.

Black Witch Moth (Ascalapha odorata)

I did have a wonderful surprise this morning. I found a Black Witch.

I have never seen one before and it was in my yard. It posed politely for me to snap its photo, but didn’t wait around to autograph it.

Ebola, the US has had a second nurse go down with it and they are trying to locate 132 people who were on the same flight the day before she came down with symptoms. There is now a case in Germany and headline news today says that Ebola is winning the race. That’s not comforting news.

Nothing like an aircraft ventilation system to spread the virus.

“Global shares fall sharply as concerns about weak global economic growth knock investor confidence.” – BBCNews. Has the great correction begun? We’ll know in a few weeks when the value of the dollar plummets to the point where we could offer it to hippos to use as toilet paper; or not.

According to an Australian judge a pregnant Rohinga mother who gave birth in Brisbane has been denied an Australian visa under a law designed to prevent people smuggling. So pregnant women are now people smugglers… great Australian wisdom.

The stupid French are at it again. Trying to takle the problem of teenage binge drinking by making it a criminal offence to encourage teenagers to drink to excess. How about tackling parents and schools who fail to educate their teenagers on this problem. Binge drinking is not criminal, it’s a health issue. Who puts these stupid people in governament so they can make assinine decisions?

The French are not alone. The British are now looking at banning smoking in Trafalgar Square and public parks.

Now that I have upset God, surely I’m going to hell, it’s time to say…

Later.

Decadence

Good morning world!

The real thing

*looks at clock* 1:50pm…. well, it is morning, at least for me it’s just after breakfast.

And, breakfast took decadence to a new level. Liver, weinerschnitzel¬† & Merlot. Decadent it may have been but, yummy it was, nom noms. Lashings of Lea & Perrin’s Worcestershire sauce. Yes, the English stuff, not that crappy American, or the even worse Brazilian stuff, but real imported stuff from the Royally approved Lea & Perrins. I splashed out a couple of paydays ago and bought a bottle, much cheaper than it used to be with the falling dollar. The price has almost halved from it’s previous R$15, now it’s R$8. So thank you global economic collapse, an ex-pat in Brazil loves you.

I can assure you that the economic collapse that we teeter on the edge of is on the verge of throwing the world into chaos. What most don’t realise is that the coming circus will have no clowns (they are all in the American government and the Federal Reserve). You see the Great Depression had nothing in comparison to what we are facing. World credit has never been this huge. In the 1920s it was measured in millions, now we are facing trillions, and not just a few either. I have seen the figure of 300 of them floating around the ether.

Brazil’s blonde bimbo, Dilma Rousseff (some misguided call her president), was on TV the other night saying Brazil successfully weathered the 2008 collapse and is in a stronger position to weather the next. Hell, 2008 wasn’t even a depression, it was just a warning that the depression was coming. Well, folks, it’s here; look down at your feet into the maw of poverty, it’s a deep bottomless pit that will swallow us all up. Remember to thank the CEOs, the companies who pay no tax, the bankers, Wall St and the Federal Reserve for they more than the Greeks, the Irish and Portugal are entirely responsible.

There will be blood let on the streets. And it is the American government that will be doing the letting, the blood will be yours, certainly it won’t be the perpetrators, the government will be protecting them like they are paid to do.

Friday, I have blogged, I have #FF, I have napped… TGIF

Nothing to do, nowhere to go (I’m broke, that’s why), so you all have the pleasure of my company, isn’t that just ducky?

I must get along, I have to post on Things that Fizz & Stuff, I promised I would nearly a week ago.

Later…

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