Tag Archive: likes


Nil desperandum carburundum illegitami

grindyoudownAs my Hong Kong follower said, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.

I’m not. I am keeping calm, and carrying on.

Monday was a lousy day. I had to get a photo for my passport renewal. Not the first attempt. That was some months ago and gave a photo 4:3.1, the requirement was a ratio of 4:3… rejected.

This one gave me all the requirements, but the file size was too small, 485kb and it had to be 500kb minimum.

Back to the shop, can’t be done the man with the fancy camera said.

I tried to manipulate his photo file at home, rejected, rejected and yet another try rejected.

I knew it could be done. My cheapie digital can do it.

I took a selfie (oh how I hate those things), cropped it and it met all the requirements, except the cluttered background and hairy chest.

Back to the shop, showed the man with the fancy camera, that I can do it.

I suggested them taking the photo with my el cheapo and I’ll take it home and DIY. He agreed at no charge.

Some trials and errors, another three rejections… Limit of three tries, log out.

Then I wound up CorelDraw 10, my fav. Cracked it! Sent the photo file winging its way through the ether, and it stuck. Achievement unlocked!

Just goes to show you don’t have to have a fancy camera to get results.

So Tuesday started to be another Monday…

So, I’m going to leave you with this good news, and simply say a BIG thank you to all of you supporting me, and taking me to the brink of a new ‘Likes’ record. ❤

Off to work soon. So far this is my only post of the day. There may be others.

Later.

Lead Ballon

leadballoonWell, my attempt at satire yesterday went down like a lead balloon going by the number of ‘Likes’ I got.

Never mind, I’ll move along.

Can’t please all the people all the time. Thanks to those who recognised the satire and ‘Liked’.

Hot stuffy day again, no wind. We were promised rain yesterday, obviously the weather didn’t hear that; not a drop.

I have an hour before my kids are here for their English lesson, and I still have to have lunch. It’s in the oven. Fish fillets poached in milk.

Once the kids get here, I’ll get nothing done. When they go, I’ll have an hour until my first lesson at the course at 4pm. So that’s the day gone. Thursdays have turned into a mucky day.

Political correctness gone too far. Australians are in the stupid box today. A TV programme had to appologise for a ‘sexist’ quiz question; “Name a woman’s job?” That’s NOT sexist. The obvious answer is, “To have babies!” I’d love to see these pc bastards change that.

Share prices continue to slide worldwide, making financial institutions jitter. There’s something about to happen.

Ebola is still in the news, although no new cases are cited outside Africa. WHO is now trying to play down the epidemic. I was surprised to read one report that showed many Americans have no idea that Ebola exists.

[Pause]

Lunch

[unpause]

They say that fish is brain food… didn’t do my inspiration much good.

Just heard on the news that Spain has a new Ebola case; a Nigerian flew there today and is showing all the signs, Now they have another aircraft load of people exposed to the virus through the plane’s ventilation system.

This is pretty much like my Nap-fu practice

This is pretty much like my Nap-fu practice

Well, I suppose I’d better go and remove the washing from the sofa so the kids have somewhere to sit for a lesson. Then I should go and do the dishes so they know that Dad is not a slob. And, I’d better put some pants on…

Later.

Beep Beep Boop

beepbeepboopYes, it’s time to Beep Beep Boop.

If you are not a WordPress blogger then you won’t understand Beep Beep Boop.

Beep Beep Boop was what I was faced with at 1:30am the other morning while I was pre-Coffee. You can read about the trauma on OMG! They’ve done it Again.

I have coffee and am over the initial shock, still learning to drive Beep Beep Boop.

As a WP blogger, might I say ‘typical’, I have been confused over the difference between WP.com & Wp.org. A great post by Rachel, our Happiness Engineer, spells it out quite nicely.

Not this slug

Not this slug

She also answered my question about slugs.

She gave me a link: http://codex.wordpress.org/Glossary#Slug where you can see what it is about WP slugs that’s different from the one to the left.

Ever since Rachel became our Happiness Engineer, I’ve often tried to picture a Happiness Engineer; I’ve even googled it. There were electrical, civil, mechanical, but no happiness.

But, I think I’ve got it.

Rachel, this is how I picture/envisage a Happiness Engineer.

HappinessEngineer1There, I think that does it. She puts up with a lot of grief from me, so she deserves nice thoughts.

The weather is suffering from PMT, can’t make up it’s mind. Bright and sunny, dark and sinister, dull and sombre; oh, bright and sunny again…

I need more coffee…

BRB

Kitty came in. “Meeeooow!” (translate = get your priorities right!). Breakfast before your coffee.

Kitty got her wish. Crispy Beef and Fish Bisuits and a bowl of chilled Chateau Moo de Lap…

 Then, I got my coffee.

I broke 17 ‘Likes’… I got 18 on my post Demons! Yay!

Australia’s prime minister stuck his nose into the Scottish independence debate yesterday. Today Scotland replied… “Scotland’s first minister has said the Australian prime minister’s comments on Scottish independence were “foolish, hypocritical and offensive”.”BBCNews. That about sums up Tony Abbott nicely, “foolish, hypocritical and offensive”.

Time to Beep Beep Boop.

Later.

That Funky Monkey

Thi, apprently, is a Funky Monkey

This, apprently, is a Funky Monkey

Yes, that funky monkey again.

Last night was brass monkey weather, even more so than the previous day and night.

Not often I have to resort to a blanket on the bed here in Rio, but last night it was essential.

MWPG left a comment about a brass monkey, it’s a Beastie Boy’s song. That’s where the post title came from… Funky Monkey was in the song.

Now, I have heard of the Beastie Boys, but never consciously listened, nor even knew any of their songs. Having now heard the Beastie Boys, I am in no doubt as to why. The cacophony was so painful that I had to switch it off and look up the lyrics to find the connection alluded to by MWPG.

I’m sorry MWPG, but there are some things that should just be put out of their misery.

I am a wiser man today.

I noted the other day (WordPress report) that this blog has 696 followers, wow, great. But as I only get at most 16 likes (that’s a new record) for the posts… I am left wondering what the rest of you are doing with your left hands as you scroll through my words with the right. Because you are certainly not using it to press the ‘Like’ button! I know some of my posts have sex, and some are even perverse, but stop doing that… you’ll go blind.

Why do people complicate simple things? I hit a page yesterday that perpetuated the myth that brass monkeys losing their balls was a reference to testicles. redxcloseIt was a Brazilian blog in Portuguese, I wrote a reply in my best Portuguese handwriting, and then discovered that I had to go through a series of painful contortions in order to post the comment, couldn’t be bothered, so I hit the big red X.

I see that Israel is hell-bent on genocide again. Netanyahu is using this latest round of rockets from Gaza as his excuse. The few rockets that Palestinians are capable of sending does not warrant the sledgehammer tactics being used to annihilate a whole people. And they are looking at getting a bigger hammer. Despite lip-service to the peace protest, Netanyahu is just not interested in peace, he will settle for nothing but extermination.

After the cold night, the sun is out, the washing is on the line and today is the final of the world cup. Then the world can return to normal.

Now if Argentina put this team in the field, would the Germans even be worried about the ball?

Ball, what ball?

Ball, what ball?

What a Messi that would be!

The game yesterday showed that the Brazilian team is getting better again; only three goals against instead of seven. That’s more than a 50% improvement.

I still think the silly hats should win.

Or perhaps FIFA could hold a facing-painting cup…

fans_2936689b

And… the prize goes to the man in the rolled gold trilby and transparent head! Quote from the Goon Show.

I see a suggestion that surfing should become an Olympic sport, why not face-painting? The ancient Greeks would roll in their graves.

Lunch today… Feijoada

Feijoada - you don't want to know what's in it

Feijoada – you don’t want to know what’s in it

Feijoada is basically black baked beans and parts of the pig you never knew existed. It’s wonderful!

Blogging right along. Two to go.

Later.

 

Licking our Wounds

The prestigeous 5 kilos of gold

The prestigious 5 kilos of gold

The day after, soul-searching, nursing severely bruised egos…

Not since 1920 has Brazil been so humiliated, Uruguay 6 – Brazil 0; mind you, Brazil did a 7 – 1 to Switzerland once.

After the game yesterday, even God cried; it rained as soon as the game finished..

At least we didn’t suffer the humiliation of being sent home… we’re already there.

And, it’s not our last game. Brazil plays the losers of today’s Holland vs Argentina game for a somewhat ignoble third place.

Nothing beats the glory of holding that 5 kilos of gold aloft.

I have been moping… and I’m not even a real Brazilian, so I imagine how they feel, I feel their pain, I share it. I haven’t even done the dishes, nor blogged, nor read the news, but I did have a wonderful nap.

LikebuttonI have a heap of comments to reply to, and I thank all those who took the time to share my sorrow, and visit bloggers who took their time to click my ‘Like’ button. I will get round to it today, promise.

Today marks a return to normal; class tonight, pay my net bill, and buy some bread to make supper tonight after class.

Another cool sunny day, rescued a guava, fell off the bucket doing so. Left me clutching the gate for dear life. I returned to the kitchen for another coffee to settle rattled nerves. I know, I should invest in a ladder instead of using an upturned bucket, but then I would have only fallen from higher.

Lunch has been had; homemade fish bites leftover from yesterday.

Blogging right along…

Later.

I wonder what Cruel will use against the Argentinians? He’ll need stronger medicine than just psyching tem out; maybe…

TrollKruel

5 Must do Blogging Tips

Once again, I have visited a blog that espouses ‘blogging tips’.

There are thousands, nay probably millions, of blogs and blogs with posts about blogging tips. And, the surprising this is they ll seem to get plenty of readers, likes and follows.

I can’t see why I shouldn’t join the madding crowd.

And I look forward to having lots of wonderful comments, visitors and likes too.

Five Tips to Ensure your Blogivity.

Blogging Tip #1

coffee-cigarettes_00387047Coffee, one cannot blog or write descent material without having decent coffee at hand. Coffee and the by necessity cigarette are essential blogging tools. If your posts lack that essential caffeine hint, then sadly your blog will fail.

The coffee needs to be real coffee; instant or Starbucks will not cut the mustard and will result in mediocre posts.

catswim

A pussy is a must, if it’s a wet pussy, so much the better

Blogging Tip #2

Pussy!

You’re blog must have the quintessential cat.

It may be your cat, it can be a LOL Cat, all the better.

It can even be a scraggy moggy found while trolling the blogosphere.

The cat may be neurotic, or one offering philosophical advice; but the bottom line is it must have a cat.

A giant duck has nothing to do with this post

A giant duck has nothing to do with this post

Blogging Tip #3

Whatever your post is about, there must be an image of some description.

Blog posts that are just text are boring.

The image may/may not be related to the post, but it must be linked in some way.

Images should be spaced alternatively, or people will think you are just taking the mickey.

If you don’t have an image, people may think you are quackers or the type of person who plays with a rubber ducky in the bath, which, by the way proves that you are quackers.

A fairy in a jar, is often helpful, if you can find one at the bottom of the garden

A fairy in a jar, is often helpful, if you can find one at the bottom of the garden

Blogging Tip #4

Know your audience, target your posts to your audience. Once you have got a visitor you must keep them captured, enraptured and literally trussed up in what you have to say, or indeed not say.

You don’t have to be as charismatic as that Biblical fellow, but he does have a lot of followers (he must have good SEO).

But once you’ve captured your audience, you have to give them something worthwhile, or not, to keep them entranced.

A sure-fire way to keep your audience, is post regularly and often. And write your posts ‘off the cuff’; don’t plan them. Planned posts often come across as bullshit and the world has enough of that already.

Don’t forget to communicate; if your visitor leaves a comment, acknowledge it, appreciate it, thank them. If you can’t think of anything to say, just 🙂

Rather sterile, but it may work

Rather sterile, but it may work

Blogging Tip # 5

SEO – you must know your SEO. Sex, Enigma and One can of inspiration. If you are not inspired, your readers will know. Therefore you keep them spell-bound with sex and the extraordinary. That other stuff about search engines not finding your material is superfluous. If you have Sex, Enigma and One can of inspiration,  you will be found.

Some people prefer to have an inspiration key fitted to their keyboard. That’s all very well, but it doesn’t give the same gratification as opening a can and dipping your finger in; it’s a bit like that Nutella feeling, gooey but nice.

Every bloggers' dream

Every bloggers’ dream

Blogging Tip #6

Be inconsistent, eclectic, keep people guessing.

Tell them one thing and do another, like have a sixth blogging tip when you promised five.

Don’t just dream to be out for lunch, go the whole hog and go viral.

Summary

My pearls maybe wisdom, maybe not, you may get more readers, maybe not, but you will have the satisfaction of blogging. You deserve another coffee.

NB: Some of the above is not nonsense, most of it is.

Remember, when in doubt 🙂

It’s never too late

Thank You KeyBefore we head off into the second week of the New Year, I’m going to hit the ‘Thank You’ key.

There are some people out there who deserve a BIG thank you, who have followed, visited regularly, commented and generally supported my various blogs over the past year.

In not particular order…

Andrew from Hong Kong has a photography blog All downhill from here mainly birds, he visits here almost daily hits the like button and leaves comments.

Chas Spain Design has an art blog, another regular hitting the like button and leaving comments.

Rachel over at quakerattled comes from my home town, but moved to Auckland because of the earthquakes that flattened our city, visits, comments and likes daily. She has recently been touring England writing and photographing her travels with the family and is about to return home.

Small at Reduce Footprints, a great environmental blog, a superb resource for anyone bent in that direction. I have been following Small since her first appearance in the blogosphere and we have at times been partners in crime. She is on her annual hiatus presently, hopefully to return on 22nd Jan.

Set the Tempo is where you’ll find Kymbo from Down Under. He visits, comments and likes on two of my blogs on a daily basis. I love his byline: “A little of this and that, not too much of some things and way too much of other things…”

Conrad at Wine Wankers, have a great blog, and another The Lords of the Drinks, both regular visitors and likers.

Fromage Homage is a turophile, has a cheesy blog teaching us about the wonders of British cheeses… who ever knew?

I’m going to stop here, I could add many more, but I have to get to the supermarket; I’m out of… well, just about everything.

So for the ones I didn’t dig out of the trash file, you’re not forgotten, whenever you visit here, I do eventually get to your blog too. Now I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t included everyone…

I’ll leave you with today’s art work…

vacuumheadphones

Totally Screwed, an Addendum

Although I wasn't under the weather last night, I still feel like this

Although I wasn’t under the weather last night, I still feel like this

Happy New Year!

I am still totally screwed, the net access is still terrible, and no server attendance until tomorrow.

The connection is so bad that most blogs I visit will not load ‘Likes’, so I can’t register my appearance. If you have visited my blog recently, be assured that I have been to yours for a reciprocal visit.

I have just cleaned out my inbox, and visited everybody. Because of the net problems, my inbox became rather full and I felt duty bound to empty it before starting on the task of New Year’s Day posts.

My New Year was very quiet, well, the evening was. I spent it at home with Cloro and was in bed by 10:30. Cloro was not impressed by the ‘big bangs’ at midnight, and despíte my comforting him, he finally beat a hasty retreat and spent the rest of the night under the dresser in my room.

The afternoon I spent in the company of the fregües at the botequim. Oh, I said that already… yesterday 🙂

If you have sent a ‘Like’ or a comment, be assured that I am receiving them, somewhat sporadically but they do get here and make appreciated reading, and will be replied to in due course.

Well, not one of my blogs came close to breaking the 1,000 visits barrier last month, so please try harder in the New Year.

I was amused at Putin’s remark that he is going to eradicate terrorism following the two Volgograd explosions. The Americans have been promising the same thing since 2001 and they haven’t achieved it either.

So to all of you who feel like this…

funny-cat-acting-drunk

I wish you a speedy recovery.

Sunday Slap-Dash

No burning penises or loose testicles in this post, if that’s what turns you on (must be I got so many likes on the last two posts) then I suggest you desist now before disappointment sets in and becomes a moribund fascination…

Sunday is a day to relax.

Unless of course you are religiously tainted, then its a mad panic to scrub the kids and make them look presentable before heading of to church to be relieved of the horrendous angst accumulated through the week. Then you don’t get a chance to relax

ConchayToroRiesling

Great Chilean plonk

But on Sunday I have the luxury of relaxing, because I am not so tainted.

I have blogged today, I have napped today, I have watered the plants today and I have turned the compost over… This is called relaxing.

Having had a replete morning relaxing, I decided on lunch; which one tends to do if one missed breakfast. Well, I had three steaming mugs of coffee.

With my thoughts turned toward lunch, I remembered a recipe I saw yesterday on Kitchen Ventures. I had some of the ingredients, and had to improvise on others.

Prosciutto, for example became bacon.

Asparagus retained its original identity, albeit from a jar.

I didn’t have any wild mushrooms, but they were pretty pissed off by the time I put them in the pan.

Heavy cream became, well, cream.

White wine became a Chilean Cocha y Toro Riesling.

The rest of the ingredients more or less resembled themselves.

The first step in my Seared Prosciiuttoless Asparagus etc… was the wine. The chosen wine needs to breathe. So, open the wine and check; if it’s not breathing, give it mouth to bottle resuscitation.

what i started with

what I started with

I like cooking with wine. As on this occasion, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Once one has ascertained that the wine is, in fact, breathing. One slices good thick rashers off the block of bacon and cooks off to a crisp orangy-goldy colour, which is about the stage before burnt-to-a-crisp.

Take the bacon out and set aside.

bacon

Add oniony garlicky mushroomy things to bacon fat with a sprinkle of rosemary.

stuffinthepan

Stuff in the pan

Cooked off to golden colour, add wine… add a splash more just to be sure.

Reduce… (that does NOT mean tasting it yet!)

While that is reducing, layer the asparagus on the bacon in the tray.

Check that the wine is still alive.

Add pseudo ‘thick cream’, stir, while it thickens a bit, make toast. (Yes, I know this wasn’t in the original recipe!)

Pour sauce over asparagus and bacon, allowing the hot sauce to reheat the bacon and asparagus.

offendingproduct

Offending mixture

Divide off about half the offending mixture and serve on hot buttered toast.

It is about this time that the remaining wine, whether breathing or not, should be dispatched humanely and put out of its misery.

That is a slap-dash, because everything is slapped in the pan with a dash of this and a dash of that. You’ll notice that I haven’t included measurements; if you know what you are doing, they’re irrelevant.

Consume ravishingly while watching The Incredibles. I don’t have cable so I had no choice. The wine makes them bearable.

The rest of the day to relax…

Later, much later.

Wrong Again

Weather forecasters must be the most consistent liars on the planet, after governments and lawyers.

Clorotree11

Cloro’s first tree-climb

Yesterday was supposed to be wet, it wasn’t. Today was supposed to be fine, it is. There is no consistency. You simply don’t know if they’re lying or not.

Breakfast this morning was a little less debauched than yesterday’s. Two cups of coffee and a litre of freshly squeezed orange juice with sparkling mineral water, not a drop of alcohol in sight. No hangover, not even the slightest blur, which by rights should have been a doozy.

Yesterday was a big step for Cloro. She’s looked at trees in the park before, but yesterday out of the blue she shot up the one in front like a rocket! Straight up, then thought better of it and scampered down to the safety of the fork. It was a truly professional feline all-in-one fluid movement. But she needed Daddy to get her down to the first floor again.

CloroBBQ4

Cloro helping with breakfast

Then it was time to help Daddy with breakfast.

She supervised the tocino (pork belly strips) while I drank some wine; a refreshing not too dry red Vale de Lobos from Portugal. Cloro drank a muddy little number from a puddle in the road.

She’s got fresh water in the kitchen, but she insists on drinking outside from puddles; must be something to do with the flavour.

likeable-blog-1337-2x

I got a notable 1337 likes on They Say it’s in the Genes on Friday. I don’t know what’s so special about 1337; 1,000 I could understand, 1,500 I could understand, but 1,337, that’s weird, appreciated, but weird.

Got another surprise yesterday. A pineapple top that I had planted, then tore out and threw on the compost because I had figured it died, has produced the beginnings of a flower. It has taken root on the compost heap.

pineappleflower5

Little flower bud in the middle

I’m happy about that. I have planted pineapple tops before but this is the first that has flowered. I will be watching with interest.

I’ll finish today off with Cloro’s latest adventure.

Cloro and the Tocino

She grabbed a bit of pork belly fat that I had thrown on the ground.

That’s it, later.

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