Yes, Kiss my ass

Damn, three days… Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun. You’ll notice in the accompanying image that I chose the caption carefully, if I had meant the obtuse I would have written ‘arse’ as would have any self respecting user of he Queen’s English, and not ‘ass’ as the Americans would have it; I mean, why take a perfectly lovely animal’s name in vain?

I often have to explain to my students why American English isn’t really English at all, but rather a dialect. Similar in many respects to Brazilian Portuguese and that which is spoken in Portugal. After all both America and Brazil have had the same amount of time to corrupt their mother tongue.

Granda's Trunk

I have been busy, not so much on the blogging, you see I attacked one of my old HDs the other day and managed to recover many images and photos that I thought were lost to the world. The ass being one of them, I just couldn’t resist using it.  You know what it’s like when you discover something, it’s a bit like opening a trunk in grandma’s attic that you never saw before. You can’t just shut the lid, you have to explore everything and you’ll settle for nothing less.

I did post three pertinent commentaries on Shit Happens about political stuff, but that was all yesterday, despite my best intentions. Wednesday was a split day and just exhausted me; another reminder that I am on the way down the other side of that proverbial hill we are always talking about when we get to forty. If you’re not there yet, you’ll understand when you are; if you’re over forty, then I’m sure that you will sympathise with me.

Z, such a beautiful flourish at the end of the alphabet

Now my spell checker is telling me that I have spelt ‘sympathise’ wrongly, oh, and ‘spelt.’ You see I haven’t yet discovered how to, or indeed, if there is a way to change WordPress English to the Queen’s. You see Americans don’t understand that the verb ‘to spell’ is irregular and as for replacing the ‘s’ with a ‘z’ I must admit that makes sense. The letter ‘z’ is a beautiful letter, I remember the days before PCs when I used to practice calligraphy, ‘z’ is so beautiful and rightly should be used more. But, I fight my sensibilities with my need for the traditional, you see I am such a traditionalist.

Mark Twain

The need for a simpler form of English is not a new idea. Mark Twain came up with a way we can simplify English spelling. “They say that English is one of the hardest languages to learn because of the multiple sounds from letters and all the exceptions to the rules. You know what I’m talking about. Read the following article and let me know what you think.”

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish “y” replasing it with “i” and iear 4 might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x” — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

May be one day, maybe… I just hope that I am not around to see it.

I found this in my treasures, so I uploaded it…

A pair of Gulf fritillary, Agraulis vanillae, mating before they set about destroying my passionfruit vines with their offspring. If they are not checked (the caterpillars) they will decimate the plants, strip them of all foliage; and I happen to like passionfruit more than caterpillars of the Agraulis vanillae. The clip is nothing startling, nor is it pornographic, it is nature very tastily portrayed.

Well, that has taken nearly an hour and one coffee, which is certainly not even broaching the level necessary for minimal survival. I’m off to make more.