Tag Archive: men


Wasted

A different wasted

A different wasted

NOT this wasted.

I had a successful morning posting, then I opted for some Nap-fu practice.

I woke at 1pm, and the net was down, Four hours totally wasted.

So I begrudgingly washed the dishes.

Net was till down.

So I cooked lunch, bacon and eggs, it was sort of a late breakfast really.

Now I have 45 minutes to entertain you and read all my emails that flooded into my inbox when the net returned. So, if I don’t get back straight away, you know why.

I had an exciting morning. Between posts I watched the councilmen put new asphalt down on the next road. I felt like a little boy again, especially when the roller flattened the new seal. See, boys never really grow up, we just get bigger.

I won’t bite any more, promises Suarez Time will tell.

There’s a new play on in a theatre in Ipanema “The sexlife of an ugly women”. I saw the ad on TV last night. The woman is actually a man, of course, and is truly hideous. I am so tempted to go and see it. But Ipanema is like 60km (40 miles) from here, and needs three buses there and three back.

About this colour

About this colour

Kitty  has just come in. Fed and watered, had a good petting and is now using my bed as a bathroom. I am still hopeful of getting one of the kittens, but am puzzling over a name. My initial thought was Chocolate, but they are too light for that, they’re more of a cappuccino colour. Cappy? I’ll have to think about that some more.

I still have at least six weeks before they’ll be ready to leave Mommy.

The time has flown. I must leave in 10 minutes. It’s a good thing I am a man. Don’t need to choose my jeans, don’t need to worry about colour coordination, don’t need makeup. I just pull on my jeans, add socks and shoes, grab the nearest shirt, grab hat and lock the door. Total time takes about four minutes and I’m at the gate with my walkingstick.

Later.

 

I Put my Pants On

I look nothing like this when I am blogging

I look nothing like this when I am blogging

Men get a bad rap. They are known to blog in the underpants.

I am here today to justify that bad rap. I blog in my underpants.

Probably a lot of women are equally guilty of blogging in their knickers, with or without bra.

I am at home alone, I roll out of bed in the morning, I am comfortable as I am; in my underpants. The only detracting side of this is when I splash hot water while making that all essential first morning coffee. Cloro doesn’t mind, although she sometimes looks at me as though to say “OMG, put some fur on!”

I have also been known to go out into the yard dressed like that. I can’t be seen from the road, unless you’re a pervert peeking through the crack in the gate; nor seen by the neighbours unless they are on their roof, read perverts again.

But this morning, I was out in the yard for some time, and I felt a little more secure in more than just my underpants. I had to water the plants, they were gasping in this heat. Yesterday was 37°C and the forecast today is for 40°C (106°F) with low humidity.

Last night I had some delicious sandwiches. I shaved some pork of the left over BBQ leg chop and put the shavings in some bread, a little pepper and salt… The rest is history.

Lunch today will be an exciting affair, leftover spaghetti bolognaise, somehow it always tastes better as a leftover.

A downer…

Sunday night, I resolved, after much procrastination (years of it) to complete a book that I am writing. I started the book in 2003, and have added to it little by little. The book is on advanced advanced English grammar *puts on Grammar Police Cap*, I have reached the 254 page mark, with about another 20+/- pages to be added.

Part of the procrastination was through losing the file on a shitty hard drive, then recovering it on another shitty hard drive, then recovering it again, on pendrive, and two more hard drives, to ensure that I don’t lose it again.

I decided to print off a hard copy of the book for proof reading. I can’t successfully proof read on the screen, I have to have the paper in front of me. Got to page 41, and and Wah! The black cartridge gave out. More procrastination while I get the cartridge refilled. Plans are to do that when I pay the rent tomorrow.

That’s it for today, other than to say, I want a Beamer like this one…

funny-German-car-beerLater.

And so it came to pass…

learnbuttonI have always maintained that a day in which I learn nothing new, is indeed a day wasted. It’s a sort of philosophical thingy of mine.

Today I learned something new. I’m not actually sure that I wanted to learn this particular aspect of human behaviour; but there you go, once you learn something, you can’t ‘unlearn’ it.

It is, therefore, with some trepidation that I am going to share this perplexing puzzling strange weird perverse (I’ll find the right adjective in a moment, I’m getting close). Actually this stopped me dead in my tracks. I was about to get coffee, and nothing, but nothing can deter me from the singlemindedness of this task, but this did. My coffee mug remains empty beside me, this gives you an understanding of the gravity of the situation.

I am talking about ‘sneaky nuts’…

What’s that? You may well ask. I stumbled on it because I read in The Guardian of an Australian (had to be) politician who was censored because he ‘Liked’ a sneaky nuts prank on FaceBook. This piqued my interest. I was still in peanut, cashew nut, almond mode being totally innocent in this affair.

When I googled ‘sneaky nuts’ was stunned being presented with images like this…

sneakynuts

Apparently ‘sneaky nuts’ involves exposing one or both of ones testicles in a photograph; popping a nut, so to speak.

Why would anyone do this?

all-canesI mean the human gonads are nothing remarkable in the world of nature. I mean take a bull, for example, now there’s a mean set of gonads, and the pizzle is big enough to make walking sticks out of, or a mean looking Warrant Officer’s swagger stick.

The human pizzle is more of a frizzle in comparison.

Even the humble pig sports a pair worth showing off.

Now if you had a pair like this, you’d be justifiably proud to pop a nut for a photo.

pignutsSo you can appreciate that the human male doesn’t have much to show by comparison.

Having said all that, I will apologise to all those of a sensitive disposition and the religiously disturbed. I realise that not everybody wants to be confronted with a discussion on testicles first thing on a Friday morning.

Let’s move along, shall we? <—— Rhetorical question

My coffee cup overfloweth…

Yesterday I went shopping. It was my plan to buy an extra set of speakers and a mouse for my Think Pad to leave at work thereby negating the necessity of taking everything with me to work.

That part of the day was a success.

My next plan was to have lunch, no not Brazeiro, that gets a little expensive all the time. In order to get from the ‘puter place’ to the desired restaurant I had to pass a furniture shop which I often check because they have specials at times. Indeed, yesterday they did.

kidneytableI had thought of buying a decent coffee table, you see the one I have was salvaged from the trash. It was one of those called kidney shaped, well that was what my dear departed mother called it; we had one when I was a kid. Totally useless because they don’t really fit anywhere. But four years ago when I found it, beggars can’t be choosers.

I had seriously considered one of the same suite as the shelves that i have just bought, but the price tag was R$350. I was pleasantly surprise to see an oblong coffee table ‘pague e leve’ (pay and take it) for R$99. I went and had lunch, but this idea niggled at me all through a good meal. After lunch, I went back to the shop.

A discussion, can’t buy anything without a discussion in Brazil. If I was to buy the table, could they deliver it across the road to the taxi stand? A reasonable request, I thought, brandishing my walking stick to justify that I needed assistance.

mesa de centro artely masterThe answer… “No! Not allowed to.” Which after some haggling became “Well, for R$20.” I couldn’t believe it! R$20 to walk across the road! Bloody unbelievable, I entered tantrum mode (I’m 60+ but I still remember how to throw a tantrum). The nice man took it across the road to the taxi stand, just to get me out of the shop, I was becoming an embarrassment. See, tantrums work.

Remember that when your rugrat throws one next time.

So the afternoon was spent assembling and admiring my new coffee table.

I now have one of these in my living room. *satisfied grin*

My set of tower shelves has just arrived. They will come and assemble it tomorrow.

Not only men…

Even horses fall asleep after sex…

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