Tag Archive: news

Have you Flonked your Dwile?

No, I haven’t gone mad.

I just read about Dwile Flonking, and simply had to do a google, hence a wiki…

“The non-flonking team joins hands and dances in a circle around a member of the flonking team, a practice known as “girting”. The flonker dips his dwile-tipped “driveller” (a pole 2–3 ft long and made from hazel or yew) into a bucket of beer, then spins around in the opposite direction to the girters and flonks his dwile at them.”Wikipedia

So there, dwile flonking exists. Read more on the link. It’s interesting, just full of swadgers, gazunders and wantons.

This is dwile flonking for your edification…

Now back to more mundane matters.

The temporary filling I had back in February appears to be about to give up the ghost. So off to the dentist I went. Tuesday, he’s closed. So I went to the screw shop, which was nearby, and got my screws.

Just before going to the dentist, my PC died. Dentist was more pressing.

I got back and tried to recover PC problem. It didn’t want to be recovered. So I am on my laptop. I have never used the laptop on the net at home before, so I was very pleased when I plugged it in that all seemed to function well.

I still have the problem with my PC. It started off okay, better than normal in fact, then it decided it didn’t want to read the CD-ROM. I let out a decisive ‘Bugger!’ and after changing ROMs ( I have four) and none of them worked, I cranked up the laptop.

So I can now finish this post.

Which I have now done.

The headline news… Kardashan and West are doing something; getting married, I think. Who gives a shit, give us some real news, something important.

I have to organise myself. As I am using my portable table, I am side on to my normal position. I just caught myself having lit a cigarette only to find one is already burning in the ashtray. I am really unsettled with this PC problem.

I’ll go and make something for lunch.





They’re Playing Funny Buggers

I had just opened the post page and the net went down. Then it came up again, then down again, now it’s back on. Somebody’s playing funny buggers.


I feel I've been screwed by something strange

I feel I’ve been screwed by something strange

Proof that it is Monday.

The PC shut down.

That was 3:30… It’s now after 8pm. More than four hours of pure frustration. Finally reinstalled XP because that damned sys.config.thingy cracked up again. The partial reinstall fixed it.

Now where was I? A good question. I had a rough idea what I was going to post today, but after four hours, it’s gone.

Another hot day, but it cooled late in the afternoon, enough for me to sit in the praça and have a beer while pondering PC problems. I think this PC has past it’s ‘best-by’ date, and time to consider another alternative. But, be assured, it won’t involve Windows 7 or 8.

Homer Philosophy , Plaster Head, covered CobwebsYesterday’s plans I consider a success. It does one good to have a day of total relaxation, a day to brush aside the cobwebs.

According to the news, nothing happened.

The BBC News didn’t even change headlines all day Sunday, so one can only assume that nothing happened.

Bit different this morning. Russia has got it’s tits in a tangle now that their puppet is a wanted man instead of being president of the Ukraine. It seems as though Ukraine could be leaning toward the EU again and that is more than likely to miff the Russians.

The Ugandan president signed into law the new laws relating to homosexuals. Making it the country with the most draconian laws on the matter in the world.

plane3Remember the old DC-10, a much maligned and problem prone aircraft. The last one flew from Bangladesh to England yesterday. Many of these aircraft crashed with big losses of lives.

It was an Air New Zealand one that crashed into Mount Erebus in the Antarctic killing all aboard. I remember that night, I had just started work on night shift and heard the news that it was overdue, then presumed missing; a traumatic night.



Phubbing = Phone Snubbing

Phubbing = Phone Snubbing

I just hate it!

I just learned the word today, in the last half hour in fact.

I have been the victim of phubbing, yes, I have been phubbed by my own daughter in a restaurant in fact. I pointed out the error of her ways and she sheepishly put her phone away to enjoy the meal.

The epitome of ignorance, I will not tolerate it.

Imagine this scene…

"You may now phub the bride!"

“You may now phub the bride!”

Have you ever been phubbed?

Blackcurrant Liqueur

Blackcurrant Liqueur

Yesterday was hot and sunny, wonderful day for a BBQ. Not a lot of BBQ meat, but I put out pickled beetroot and onions. Brazilians don’t know about pickled beetroot, and it proved more popular than the meat. There was also a carpaccio salad with asparagus, olives and capers oozing with extra virgin olive oil. We followed that with a liqueur tasting.

Most Brazilians don’t know about liqueurs; really in some ways Brazilians are quite unrefined. I put out Cassis (black currants), Cacão (cocoa), Frangelico and Malibu, and made a couple of simple cocktails with grated dark chocolate. They were amazed; I felt like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

So it was a fun afternoon, the sun went down, Flamengo won their game 3-0, the wind began to blow in the darkness and we all teetered off home; some wobblier than others.

If we hadn’t departed for our various abodes, it may well have become a case of “The drunker I sit here, the longer I get…”

I was in bed at 8:45… that’s why I didn’t get round to posting here yesterday. I just wanted “lights out”.

I wait forlornly for my new stove to arrive; it was suggested Monday or Tuesday, I fear Tuesday will be closer to the mark. Which is going to interfere with my payday arrangements, something always goes awry.

Today is cooler, overcast, a little drizzle, but just looking out the window there are darker, more ominous clouds in the distance. As long as they stay in the distance until after 4pm when I will be safely in class.

That’s it.

This is not the 9 o’clock news…


LOL cat talking in ‘capshuns’

This is something that I have often wondered.

Self doubt is a terrible affliction.

I talk to my cats in ‘capshuns’; is that enough proof. Am I the only person who does this? It’s worrying.

It’s worrying because I am a stickler for correct English, it’s one of the problems of being a teacher of the language, a prerequisite, if you like.

But I must admit that I do get a certain perverse pleasure from butchering the language for fun. I do silly things like make regular verbs irregular (arrive, arrove, arriven) and vice versa; or try going a whole day without conjugating the verb ‘to be’, as in I be happy today. In some cases, it actually makes sense, makes the language simpler.

Have a read of this and you will see part of the problem that makes English so hard to learn, besides its system of verbs being easier,it’s just… just so irregular.

The chaos

A poem on English pronunciation

Charivarius, (G.N. Trenite: 1870–1946).

Dearest creature in creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you’ll tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer:
Pray console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it.
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, Lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say–said, pay–paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak:
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuschia, via;
Pipe, shipe, recipe and choir;
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery;
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore;
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles;
Exiles, similes, reviles;
Wholly, holly; signal, signing;
Thames, examining, combining;
Scholar, vicar and cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far.
Desire–desirable, admirable–admire;
Lumber, plumber; bier but brier;
Chatham, brougham; renown but known,
Knowledge; done, but gone and tone,
One, anemone; Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen; laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German; wind and mind;
Scene, Melpomene, mankind;
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross; brook, brooch; ninth, plinth.
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with darky.
Viscous, viscount; load and broad;
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s O.K.
When you say correctly; croquet;
Rounded, wounded; grieve and sieve;
Friend and fiend, alive and live,
Liberty, library; heave and heaven;
Rachel, ache, moustache; eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed;
People, leopard; towed, but vowed.
Mark the difference moreover
Between mover, plover, Dover;
Leeches, breeches; wise, precise;
Chalice, but police and lice.
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, discipline, label;
Petal, penal and canal;
Wait, surmise, plait, promise; pal.
Suit, suite, ruin; circuit, conduit,
Rime with: “shirk it” and “beyond it”;
But it is not hard to tell
Why it’s pall, mall, but PallMall.
Muscle, muscular; goal and iron;
Timber, climber; bullion and lion;
Worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair;
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Ivy, privy; famous; clamour,
And enamour rime with “hammer”.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but dessert, address.
Golf, wolf; countenants; lieutenants
Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.
River, rival; tomb, bomb, comb;
Doll and roll, and some and home.
Stranger does not rime with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Soul, but foul; and gaunt, but aunt;
Font, front, won’t; want, grand and grant;
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then; singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal; mauve, gauze and gauge;
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.
Query does not rime with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;
Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.
Though the difference seems little
We say actual, but victual;
Seat, sweat; chaste, caste; Leigh, eight, height;
Put, nut; granite but unite.
Reefer does not rime with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull; Geoffrey, George; ate, late;
Hint, pint; senate, but sedate.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific;
Science, conscience, scientific.
Tour, but our, and succour, four;
Gas, alas and Arkansas!
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern; cleanse and clean;
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian.
Dandelion with battalion,
Sally with ally, Yea, Ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess–it is not safe;
We say calves, valves; half, but Ralf.
Heron, granary, canary;
Crevice and device and eyrie;
Face, preface, but efface,
Phlegm, phlegmatic; ass, glass, bass;
Large, but target, gin, give, verging;
Ought, out, joust and scour, but scourging;
Ear, but earn; and wear and tear
Do not rime with “here” but “ere”.
Seven is right, but so is even;
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen;
Monkey, donkey; clerk and jerk;
Asp, grasp, wasp; and cork and work.
Pronunciation–think of psyche–
Is a paling, stout and spikey;
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
writing groats and saying “groats”?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel,
Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don’t you think so, reader, rather
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally: which rimes with “enough”,
Though, through, plough, cough, hough or tough?
Hiccough has the sound of “cup”,
My advice is … give it up!

See what I mean?

Now on with the day. Brazilian… Love them, but they have a terrible problem. Brazilians need to know everything. For example a simple road accident report in a western newspaper might take a couple of column-inches; here a whole full page spread covers the same accident in almost indecent intimate minute detail.

Here’s a case in point.

Pedro Leonardo – Singer and heart throb

The story so far: 32 days ago a young singer Pedro, son of one of Brazil’s famous sertaneja (country & western) crooners, Leonardo, had a car accident in Goias. After a gig in the north of the country he decided to drive home alone, against his father’s advice. The result was, he fell asleep at the wheel and rolled the car. He broke a leg and had some head injuries and was rushed to hospital and they induced a coma and later transfered him to a major hospital in São Paulo, where he had a couple of cardiac arrests.

The kid was in bad shape. Now I have nothing against the young man, he’s about 20, clean cut and the girls love him. I can’t castigate him for rolling the car either; I did the same to my Dad’s car at 16.

But, every day there have been reports in the papers, big spreads, double page in some cases. Every news bulletin on TV carries the news. There has been no let up. Doctors, hospital workers, relatives, father, fans giving televised interviews in front of the hospital. The news, ‘he flinched,’ ‘he’s breathing on his own,’ ‘he turned in bed,’ ‘he reacted to stimulus.’ It has all been news.

Yesterday, the fervor began again. ‘He’s out of the coma,’ ‘he spoke,’ he recognised some songs,’ ‘he talked to his father.’ His father heard about the news during a show up north. He then interrupted his repertoire to give the audience a blow by blow reporting of his son coming out of the coma. The fans just lapped it up.

But already today, both news slots, devoted more than the average news item to the miracle. Of course, it’s all ‘graças a Deus’ (Thank God), ah, I don’t think anyone has said thanks to the doctors yet, not publicly anyway, that wouldn’t be newsworthy.

Maybe I’m just jealous that I didn’t get this coverage when I rolled Dad’s car. Quite frankly, I’m glad I didn’t. I didn’t want the world to know what a fool I had been.

See, maybe I am crazy…


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