Tag Archive: normal

Leaving Normal Behind

Leaving Normal SignAs one gets older, one leaves normal behind. Life becomes filled with eccentricities and you need more and more coffee.

This morning’s ghost post was an example, then I had to make the Boob post, and admit my mistake.

It was all down to no coffee at 2am.

I am always looking for little ways to improve my lot. The other day at the supermarket I saw a little display of herbs and remedy thingies. amongst them was ervas silvestres (wild herbs) Jasmine, hmmm, jasmine tea might be nice for a change.

Last night, I got the urge for something different, I cracked open the jasmine. Hmmm, not that impressed, looked like old age yellowed kapock. Okay, into the water to steep, strained off into a cup. Hmmm, not impressed, tasted like old kapock too. Bloody vile stuff. Wild, I say I was wild, R$3 for old kapock.



I did learn something from the experience. Googling an image, I discovered kapock grows on trees…

Now, was that worth the R$3…

I have been enlightened.

All I previously knew before was that kapock was used for stuffing things, mattresses, pillows, old dolls and the like.

My knowledge of kapock has just doubled. I am a wiser man.

This morning Kitty appeared at the door after two days absence with a flabby post partum belly. She’s had her kittens; presumably at home. She came in  had a feed, a pet, and left. I had washed Clorinha’s milk and meat dishes, but the dry food was still there.

Looks like Israel has really done it this time. Anti-Semitism had been on a steady rise throughout Europe, now it is no longer steady, but increasing wildly since their latest attacks on Palestine. Talk about making a rod for their own backs.

I too, will raise the Palestinian flag

I too, will raise the Palestinian flag

Somewhere, I forget where, in Britain the council had hoisted a Palestinian flag in memory of the latest victims. However, the local Jewish community came out in arms over this manifestation; they are not happy. Indeed they were hostile about the gesture, which to me just goes to show the nature of things.

If you are offended, I will explain. Israel has the right to defend itself, but not the wholesale slaughter that rained on Gaza, that was heading toward genocide.

I agree with the call for a total arms embargo on Israel.

Russia has opened a can of worms. They have banned all food and produce imports from countries that have been responsible for the sanctions against them. This could backfire, the missing produce will hurt the Russians more than the other countries.

To make matters worse Brazil’s blonde bimbo (president) is rubbing her hands with glee hoping to fill the gap with Brazilian exports to Russia. This could also backfire, if Brazil breaks the sanctions of EU countries and USA, they might well turn against Brazil.

Lunch today, weinerschnitzel… again.

My weekend has started. No classes today, so I will in all probability crack open a bottle of wine with lunch.

Blogging right along.



Mental Machinations

Mental Machinations

This is roughly what goes on in my mind when posting on my blogs.

It’s all terribly confusing.

Somewhere in there is a cog called normal, it’s a bit like the spleen; doesn’t do much.

I’ve been up since six, managed three coffees and three posts in 3½ hours and not much else, I think the cogs need lubricating.

Or maybe I need Nap-fu practice. It’s about that time.

I made a wonderful lunch yesterday. I was going to take a photo to make you drool all over your keyboard; but I was hungry and ate it instead. Crumbed sole fillets, boiled potatoes, cauliflower with grated cheese and a cracked white pepper sauce over the fish.

Yesterday I mentioned normal. I found the answer.


I checked…


She’s right! Normal Dry.

Well, that’s one thing I don’t need to worry about; I don’t have a drier.

My jubilation over getting my 1,000th Twitter followers was short lived, last night the count had dipped to 997, but it’s gaining again, 998. Erratic just like the stock market.

iteuroItaly’s in the poo again.

Economy shrinking.

Further proof that there isn’t any recovery.

The Euro was a mistake.

Headline news: Chain Saw Massacre actress dies, wow! I don’t even know who she was…

Now that Israel has packed up its play things The world must really look at their illegal blockade of Gaza. Gaza needs to be rebuilt, but Israel bans building materials… what are they? Freakin’ sadists? Egypt is being sued (today’s news) in the African Court for supporting the illegal blockade. I hope it is successful.

The rain has stopped, the sun is out, one should be outside enjoying life… Bugger that, normal people do that. I’m having a nap. Then I am going to repeat yesterday’s lunch theme, cabbage instead of cauliflower.




normal_people_worry_me_by_calachi-dWho’s to say what’s normal, and what’s not?

There I go, off on my tangent again. That’s not how I meant to start this post.

*gets off tangent*

Normally I am up around six.

But this morning I made several false starts, midnight, 1:30am. 3am, 4:30am. I finally decide it was breakfast time around six, and that I should stay up.

After the first coffee of the day, I read the news.

After the second, I read the comments left over night and replied.

After the third, I visited the blogs of those who liked and commented.

After the fourth, I started to post and managed seven…

On the fifth coffee he rested. Couldn’t do much else, the coffeepot was empty.

Poos & Wees! My newer new mouse, the third in a week, has begun to double squeak click. Back to the shop, but not today, it’s raining… hard. I’ll just click lighter, or mark and use the delete button.

If I visualised my day, I'd be ready for straight jacket and tie

If I visualised my day, I’d be ready for straight jacket and tie

I saw an info graphic this morning. I was about getting up so you can make the most of the day. I got as far as “Visualise your Day!”

Hell, if I visualised my day, I’d roll straight over and go back to sleep! Talk about scary ideas.

While I may not be normal, I’m not yet ready for a straight jacket.

*Pondering* Gives a whole new meaning to ‘jacket and tie’ parties, doesn’t it?

*Looks into the cavernous depths of the coffee mug* As we often say in Portuguese, “Foi” (went) meaning, I’m gone!

Clorinha has got the rainy day sussed, she’s asleep on my clean washing on the sofa.

Well, I supposed that saves me doing the ironing.

advice-column-in-magazine-74So many people use ‘advice’ columns to handle trysts and affairs. “My boy friend wants to come back!” What a stupid question. You left him, or he you for a reason, answer, “NO!” If you can’t figure that out, maybe you should stop dating.

If people can’t figure out their problems it points to bad parenting.

People are so unprepared for life.

I have never sought such advice on such matters. I have joined a dating agency, I have no place for that crap in my life. I make decisions, some good some not so good, I live with the consequences of fix them.

Oh, and don’t get me started on shit like Oprah Winfrey… I’ll get back on my tangent! You don’t want that…

Benny is pulling his insidious toys out of the Gaza sandpit, he doesn’t want to play any more nasty games. Probably because the global playmates are getting ready to bully him! And, so they should!

I just yawned, and nearly blacked out. I think it’s time for Nap-fu practice.



This is a budding dedisherficator

This is a budding dedisherficator

I am but a humble dedisherficator, Humble but habitual.

You see when one disherficates, one creates dishes, most people would call this cooking and eating, but I find the convenience of a single word bodes well.

I didn’t completely dedisherficate, because once the marmalade on toast was eaten and the fresh coffee made, there was bugger all reason to stay in the kitchen. So I left the three chips (French fries) on the floor from last night, one of the cats will get hungry enough.

I went and watered the plants, stewing over how to use my new word; and here I am. Posting until the hour in which I redisherficate.

Now, I know that most of you are thinking, “Poor demented soul!”

Poor, I am not, I am rich. Not in monetary terms, there I am poor, but in richness of life, my cup overfloweth.

This is demented, really demented

This is demented, really demented

Demented, I’m not so sure, it would depend on the yardstick you use. I am certainly not normal, so I am somewhere either side of that mark. But, I don’t think I have sunk so far down the well as to be classed as truly demented, slightly eccentric, maybe a tad off the rails.

Soul, I have none. Well not in the selling sense, and I do care about many things, so I would not class myself as a sociopath, they don’t have a soul. You only have to look around at the many sociopaths in our world; they call themselves politicians, presidents, CEOs, w bankers and neighbourhood watch coordinators. No I am definitely not a sociopath.

I have lamented in the last couple of posts about Clorinha’s lack of mousing skills. Here is how I imagined her.

Plying her trade

Plying her trade

Sadly, it appears not to be the case; and I was so hopeful.

My Cordon Beucon bacon and cheese stuffed weinerschnitzel yesterday was decadent delicious. I have decided, after much prompting from netizens, that I will become a vegetarian; just as soon as they figure out how to grow bacon on trees. *Puts idea into pigs-might-fly basket*

Do you remember the old office trays on desks? You hand an ‘in’, ‘out’ and ‘pending’ tray.

Older than these

Older than these

Boy, are you old if you remember these. The ones I had were the in-line ones across the top of the desk, they’re so old that google doesn’t even list them, not even under vintage.

I had an in, out, too hard, and pig-might-fly trays.

George Harrison Memorial Tree

George Harrison Memorial Tree

The morning is wearing on, I can’t justify Nap-fu practice, as I woke up from one less than an hour ago to make coffee and marmalade on toast.

I read yesterday that th memorial tree for George Harrison of the Beatles fame has been destroyed by… you guessed it, beetles.

How ironic.

This is my first post of the day, got a way to go.




Stop it!

I was hopeful this would happen when installing XP yesterday... but it didn't

I was hopeful this would happen when installing XP yesterday… but it didn’t

Stop it now! I had hoped that once the Sochi Olympics were over, that the noise would die down.

But Sochi is over, Pussy Riot is in jail again, Russia is back to normal.

I surprised myself. I had lunch at lunch time. I have to stop doing these strange things it will upset my equilibrium. I don’t want to stay on the straight and narrow, it’s boring… it’s normal.

Can you guarantee they're safe?

Can you guarantee they’re safe?

A spectre rising again from the horsemeat scandal a few months back, has reported that an Irish company was not only putting horsemeat but using putrid green meat in it’s hamburger patties.

Now I know why I don’t buy hamburger patties, but make them from freshly minced beef from the supermarket; I watch then mince it.

I just read that Disney’s Magic Kingdom raised the price to $99 a day. Now I understand why I have never been there. I wouldn’t pay $5.

Must have a nap before work.


Back to Normal

normalLOL, define ‘normal’

What I mean is that it is about that time when I would normally offer you some of the juicy tidbits of the day here in Brazil.

Please don’t infer by the title that I am in any way ‘normal’, I will hotly refute it. I tried it once, it was boring, so I became a blogger.

After my early, bloody early start for the day, I did eventually enter ‘sleep mode’ again, only to be woken at 4am by my neighbour retrieving his car from my garage. Back to sleep mode.

A paella should look like this, mine didn't

A paella should look like this, mine didn’t

I woke later than normal.

Blogged a little.

Decided that I should try again to pay the rent.

Went to a restaurant for lunch and had a wonderful paella; and beer. Mine didn’t look exactly like that, the mussels were out of the shell, as were the shrimps, and it was more soupish; but drain off the excess juice and it was okay over rice.

The cool has gone, the hot is back. Not quite as hot as the past weeks, yet. But we have been promised increasing temps until Sunday.

whats-appI see Google has bought WhatsApp. I have no idea of WhatsApp is, but apparently it is the world’s most popular app.

How on earth did I ever get by without it?

One of the attractions of WhatsApp is that it doesn’t have advertising… didn’t have advertising.

That’ll change.

Not everybody appreciates art.

Hot in the news is the cleaner at an exhibition in southern Italy, cleaned. As a result, part of the exhibition that was made of cardboard and on the floored got ‘cleaned’ and ended up being taken away by the local rubbish truck.

The Ukraine president has realised he’s in a no-win situation and has made an agreement with the protesters to hold elections this year.  I now wonder if/when Venezuela’s ‘president’ (in quotes because he was never legally elected) will come to the same conclusion, or is he still delusional?

I mentioned sockpuppets the other day. Andrew commented how bad Shari Lewis was, and I realised that I have spent a lifetime pushing this memory to the back of my mind, only to find I have failed.

So I am going to ruin the day for those of you who have similarly spent a lifetime trying to forget…

Actually, it’s quite funny until the singing.


Major Balls Up

A close relation to General F**k Up.

Either one, really, describes today.


Wi fi circuit board like this

I finally got hold of my wi-fi server about 9am. After some fiddling, he admitted that something major had happened and he’d be round after lunch to have a look.

He looked.

It appeared that my wi fi board had died.

He bypassed the problem with another wi fi that plugged into the telephone plug… no driver.

So my PC went out the door with him to install the driver and give the guts a spring clean which it needed badly.

PC was finally returned about 8pm, and now I am trying to catch up on a days blogging, the news and visiting other’s blogs.

So I have been PCless for the day, time for a few beers.

Now I must blog along, get over this disaster, and get back to normal… Oh I hate that word.

Today, was truly worthy of a MONDAY! I even posted Tuesday’s post on Eco-Crap a day early.



Half a Mind

halfamindI could, if I had half a mind, do the dishes, but then the other half would talk me out of it.

It has.

So, here I am.

Having half a mind stops me from being normal. I tried that once and it was boring.

Today’s routine is pretty similar from yesterday’s. So, I could just link you there and save myself the bother.

One thing I did discover is that some people write vegan as veg*n as a form of vegan/vegetarian. Vega*n, therefore is not a dirty word. I still think it is; we have canine teeth, that means we are carnivores, it’s in our genes. One thing I have discovered in life it that people who are not happy with themselves try to change things that shouldn’t be messed with. Things like baldness, small boobs, vegans…

NB: I like small boobs, so don’t mess with them.

And, those people who are bald, but grow one side long to sweep it over their bald pate; nothing irritates me more, these people are sick in the head. Vanity on overload.

Caution: Pussy break! Cloro is demanding attention. BRB

I had to take a pause to play with my pussy.

I now have a happy pussy, collapsed on the printer, so I can return to blogging.

My prolonged absence yesterday was cool. No untoward damage, and the dirt box outside had been used; so outside it stays. The nastiest smell in my kitchen this morning is freshly brewed coffee. Which indicates that life is not crap today.

likeable-blog-100-2xI missed an important milestone. My Some Animals are Crackers blog got 100 likes. Still has only a couple of visits per day, but I remain hopeful.

Today is Humpday, over the hump down hill to the weekend. Humpday is an important day of the week, it’s just a sign of better things o come, which is not like Mondays, Mondays should be stricken from the record, cancelled, ignored. Mondays are just not nice.

I took another moment off and yanked a fern from beside the yard tap to replant it in a pot in the living room. Looks good. Now all I have to do is convince Cloro that this is not a new toy.

I feel a nap coming on.




Stupid Little Socks

Stupid little socks

Yes, stupid. I have never seen them before I came to Brazil. Sockettes, they’re like normal socks, but only come to the ankle instead of comfortably up the leg a little. Stupid little, damned uncomfortable things.

Last time out shopping I got caught unawares, and didn’t realise until I had opened the pack that they were stupid little socks.

Caveat emptor… Let the buyer beware

I am of an age (rapidly approaching 61, 12 days to go) when I like ‘normal’. Yes, I know it’s difficult to define normal, but I mean, I like things as I have known them. I don’t like change. In this case, I like socks to be socks, not poncy little stupid socks. Am I asking too much?

All week, I have been stewing on this post. It was supposed to be Monday’s, then all of a sudden it was Tuesday. Then that disappeared, followed by Wednesday and Thursday. Yes, they just disappeared… into the abyss of time gone. Went!

Today, I have early lesson, then the dentist. After that, I should go and pay the rent, but that hasn’t been decided yet. It depends on whether I like the new geography of my buccal cavity being helped or hindered by a partial plate.

I should move along, things to do before I go. Things like put my pants on…




Cuba Libre

Cuba Libre made with Montilla rum

At the moment I am looking at the world after my third Cuba Libre…

It’s looking good.

I don’t do this often, but it’s good to give the old engine an overhaul now and again.

I have just had a pleasant session at the kiosque, reopened, in front of the botequim as a soparia… They sell sopas e caldos (soups & stuff),

Tonight I had, not one, but two plates of Bobo de camarão (Shrimp soup). I would have had a third, but I’m on a diet, not; I just didn’t want to appear to be a pig.

It was delicious.

For this reason, we will be foregoing our Sunday Travel Tales. To create an STT I need a clear head.

The people in the neighbourhood think that I am somewhat stoic, and when I let my hair down (what’s left of it) they are surprised and realise that I am human after all.

And, that’s all part of the plot; I love to keep them guessing. I hate being predictable, that smacks of ‘normal.’

I tried being normal once, didn’t like it; so I became myself again.

Vagner Love

Flamengo lost to São Paulo, 4-1, which is not good. Enough, in fact, to make a grown man cry. While I am proud to be a Flamengista (Flamengo supporter), it is disheartening to see the recent results. The team has suffered immensely since the goalie Bruno was arrested for doing away with his pregnant girlfriend a couple of years ago, then another player, Adriano, was under suspicion of drugs connections, and another, Vagner Love, went overseas to play for Italy (I think) and the team has never recovered. Wagner has returned, but still the team is down in the dumps. They sacked the coach last week and got another, but I think that was a case of closing the stable door after the horse had bolted; because the new coach was sacked from International, a Rio Grande de Sul team, for the same reasons. Go figure.

The kids have been and gone. No blood was let, so I consider the visit successful.

I will now rest…


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