Tag Archive: polar bears

Evicting Polar Bears

polar-bear-global-warming-1This morning I opened my fridge and the polar bears were dancing with glee chanting there’s no global warming here!

How wrong they were. There was so much ice around the thermostat that the fridge has stopped being a fridge.

Now, I am in the middle of a major defrost. The fridge ice is melting faster than Greenland’s glaciers.

The kitchen floor floods when I do this, so I have to be on hand evry ten minutes with a squeegee to send the flood out to the yard.

Thank you to all those who wished a me pre-Birthday wishes, much appreciated.

b29e6e0708f50c5c65e8576f70aeea52Remember yesterday, I feared that something worthy of a Monday could happen? It did! At the supermarket checkout, all my buyings packed and ready to go… and I discovered my bank card wasn’t in my wallet. Luckily the big white chief was within shouting distance and came to the rescue. He let me go with the shopping and to pay later. The frete (delivery) driver said he’d never seen that before. I have had several conversations with him over the couple of years since the supermarket opened, so was on quite good terms. The truth of the matter was, I had no idea where my card was… I couldn’t be sure I hadn’t lost it, which would have meant a delay in paying. Luckily, when I got home, it was with the receipt from the botequim, where I paid last Thursday. Pheeeew!

So, yes, shit happens on Mondays.

Pickjled beetroot, yummy with beef and beer

Pickled beetroot, yummy with beef and beer

I’ve started readying things for BBQs at the end of the week. Last night boiled up some beetroot and it’s now in jars pickling in the fridge alongside the pickled onions.

I have to make some sauerkraut today and some chimichurri, which is a sort of Argentinian pesta with garlic. Garlic butter is also on the agenda. I love garlic bread with a BBQ.

I read a post yesterday that mentioned lomo saltado, which is a Bolivian/Peruvian alpaca steak dish. The name has always amused me. Lomo saltado, translated literally means “jumped alpaca steak”. What is that? An alpaca that has been jumped. I’d rather not know about the sex life of my meal.

Talk about US intelligence. How effective is their intelligence gathering? They have admitted that they didn’t know about the attack on the islamists at Libya’s airport by unknown aircraft, it “took them by surprise.” So much for their great intelligence network.

Russia is claiming that their latest military incursion into Ukraine was a mistake by troops that got lost. Pull the other leg, it’s got bells on it!

Some years back – five/six or so, on blogs long gone, I dared to suggest that the US was on the path to becoming a Spanish speaking third world country. Boy did I get rubbished for that. So much so, that one of my blog followers whom I knew well unfollowed having taken umbrage at the mere thought. I was later vidicated by the publishing of a book touting the same idea by a prominent American political writer.

Today I read that for the first time US schools will have a non-white majority this coming school year. 51%, but it’s the tip of the iceberg.

Sorry, Jim, how wrong was I?

Warm and sunny, hotter than nyesterday, expected high, 35ºC.

Nothing planned until 6pm when I have class.

I have another post teetering on a new record… Yay! Can it tip the scales?

Still posts to do, so I’ll blog along.






Datsun Cogs

You won't find Datsun Cogs in here, well, there may be a few

You won’t find Datsun Cogs in here, well, there may be a few

Yes, we have been promised Datsun Cogs for the weekend, more likely Sunday than Saturday, although the sky is grey this morning with the sun bravely trying.

Datsun Cogs is a phrase that we used years ago with the onslaught of Japanese cars on the market. I hadn’t heard it in yonks (long unspecified time frame) until I saw it on Shana’s Datsun Cogs post and just had to use it, mainly for nostalgia.

My cramps have gone, my bowels have stopped moving. Well, they do when I go and get more coffee from the kitchen, they go with me, but in the traditional sense they have stabilised. So much so, that after class last night I went out for pizza and beer; without being a glutton about it, so far, so good. I have not felt the need to reenact Napoleon Blownaparte’s demise.

Fuzzy green tomatoes

Fuzzy green tomatoes

Tomatoes have breached the R$9kg price again. Takes them off the menu. But I have heart, the first small green blobs are developing on my more mature tomato plant.

I hope they aren’t as fuzzy when they are ripe.

The photographic blur is a direct result of not enough coffee.

I made another ‘find’ in the trash a couple of days ago. All the dark stained wooden pieces for a sizable table. It lacks the glass piece for the centre. Once I buy the screws necessary for reassembly I will visit an acquaintance who has a vidraçaria (glass & mirror) shop. It’s 140x90cm but not as high as a normal dining table 75cm. All I need to do now is decide where and how to put it and use it; a minor detail.

The sun is out. The neighbour’s cat has been in and eaten Clorinha’s biccies. Need more coffee.

So far my daily highlight has been discovering that one lemon had turned half brown and one potato has become ‘juicy’; both are now residing on the compost heap. I hate wasting food, but these were bought before I had the dreaded lurgy and stopped eating.

The upshot of having two dodgy bellies within three weeks is that I am back into my size 50 jeans, whereas I was using 54s. Makes a larger person almost hope for another dodgy belly; I am putting my 48s in the wash, just in case.

The dishes remain… well, they remain. I should go to the supermarket, as the polar bears in the fridge are complaining of starvation; I will be too, if I don’t.

The sun is in again.

I wrote a lovely comment on a blog post last night. Then I used it as a prelude to a reblog of that post on my blog Things that Fizz & Stuff. You may find it interesting as it is in part about my younger years and almost deserves a place here.

The sun is out again.

I suspect our celestial body is having a ‘bad hair day’.

It’s too early to practise my Nap-fu skills, so I will blog along.





All blogs done, this is the last today.

Message timed: 9:30am & four coffees.

Time on my Hands

Time on my Hands

The week before last, I decided to get my hair cut while I was in town and had time on my hands.

I should wash them more often.

“No. 1 comb, all over!” Which is my usual request, “But DON’T touch the moustache!”

It was duly done.

I walked out and the cool morning air felt strange but refreshing around my head, and I went about my business.

Sporting a reasonable growth

I usually get my hair and beard cut about three or four times a year, so I normally sport a reasonable growth.

That photo was taken by Emmylee, my daughter, a couple of  years ago when she was five. I have since lost a lot of the paunch, not all, but a lot.

As a photographer, she did well. There are not many good photos around of me.

She loves the digital camera and when she comes over for a BBQ she takes photos until the battery dies of exhaustion or exasperation, I’ve never figured out which.

But, back to the icthyfication. My beard is itching like I had never grown one before. It’s never done that before.

Yesterday’s post surprised me, 14 Likes. I had expected a good number of Likes in the previous day’s post where I said ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’, but apparently the secret is Dora the Explorer; or was it people’s fascination with my water?

The BBQ mentioned, didn’t happen, and I am still waiting for the guy to come and check my water… But then I have been waiting 10 days which is a pretty Brazilian time frame. One gets used to it.


Empty fridge

The guy who is going to look at my water passed by, said he’ll be back later with his ladder.

So now I am stuck at home waiting once again.

I really need to go to the supermarket, the polar bears in the fridge are complaining there’s nothing to eat.

I told them it was due to global warming…

Actually, I have spinach, a piece of rump steak and some cheese, so I could survive until tomorrow. And, then there is the wine…



There, that’ll do for the day, I’m off to have a whine…. right after my nap.


Left over Leftovers

I changed my mind yesterday for the sake of variety. Yesterday’s lunch became homemade hamburgers and Italian bubbly. I had the leftover White wine chicken today. I figured two days in a row could become monotonous.

PP_jmj_rio_febrero_2013Life in Rio de Janeiro is about to become disturbed again.

Not protests this time, but the Pope is coming… Brazil is host to the Jornada Mundial de Juventude (World Youth Day), everything in the news is JMJ, which gives the government breathing space, the people don’t want to know about politics, and the things the government doesn’t want the people to know.

TV news today showed wooden crosses being dragged all over Brazil, several segments showed a C-130 of the Brazilian Air Force landing supposedly bringing the Popemobile, we never saw the Popemobile, so it could have well been stock footage, but the devout would never consider that. People hugging two unrelated pieces of wood, why aren’t they out hugging trees? That would do far more to save their souls from eternal torment, than two pieces of wood from the local sawmiller.


Iz wuvz my widdle puppy…

I tried to find a photo/image that would top yesterday’s. Alas, no luck, best I could come up with was cross-cultural affection.

Pity humans couldn’t be a little more cross-cultural. I’m not suggesting that we all go out and hug a polar bear, but we could do with a little less racism and homophobia around the place; and let people get on with their lives instead of the church poking it’s infernal nose into everything. Let’s face it, the church created both; and it’s doing bugger all to stem them. Both are fanatically induced  sicknesses.

Remember that asshole Zimmerman? I read on the news today that he is asking for the return of the gun that shot Trayvon. That stinks; what’s he going to do, mount it on the wall like a trophy. “I fought the law, and the law didn’t win!”

PrimordialSoupPPRThe world is full of sick people.

Really there is something seriously wrong with the primordial soup recipe.

I read a wonderful quote today from Peter Ustinov ~ “I imagine hell like this – Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”

It now has a home on my Fizz blog. Actually today’s post there, is about English sparkling wine becoming superior to Champagne.

So while global warming is a bane for most, the Brits are making hay while the sunshines. Literally, Britain has been suffering with temps in the 30s, they’re not used to it, but their grape vines are loving it.

Just before I go, you want to hug a polar bear, check this out…


This post was brought to you with the leftover wine from yesterday. No coffee was involved.

Sometimes it Rains

Yes, like every day this week. Rain has been a Monday – Thursday thing; and there is no reason why it won’t happen again.

But sometimes the sun shines.

Last night one of my students told me of his plans, to finish his project at work, get involved in Carnaval, take his holidays and get married to his long term girlfriend. But to do three of these things he needs a lot of money, he then informed me that English teachers are on the expendable list. Two more lessons until Carnaval and that’s it.

But the sun shines.

Having polar bears in the kitchen is not recommended

He wanted to know if I could use a fridge. Now the fridge I have works, but has to be defrosted manually every couple of weeks. If I don’t preform this ritual, I have polar bears roaming the kitchen at night. But it has kept my beer cold for the last year. The fridge I have been offered is like a limousine compared to the truck that graces my kitchen at present. And the price is unbeatable, the last two lessons and R$100. It is almost new, It still has the warranty adhesive.

I paused to give a lesson, my student has now gone. Lixo is still alseep on the sofa unfazed that life continues around him.


Lixo lying on the slate floor in the shower to escape the heat of the day

From time to time, I make observations about life. Yesterday was no different. Living alone I find the necessity to shut the toilet door unecessary, it also allows ingress to Lixo, who as soon as he hears the toilet seat being lowered, rushes in for a pet. Yesterday was no different. But yesterday, he tired of being petted and decided to have a snack. His dining room, beside the fridge is right in front of the toilet door, so I had a good view. I observed a phenomenon that had never occurred to me before. When Lixo lies flat to eat, his balls rest on the floor. I’m not sure that I would feel comfortable if mine were when I ate.

Sometimes one observes strange things, which in turn produces strange thoughts.

Last night I dined out, as a hard working English teacher I deserve that occasionally.  On arriving back home during a prolonged downpour it was easier to dive from the taxi into the bar rather than stand at the gate unlocking it and getting into the house to avoid getting saturated. One thing lead to another, one beer lead to another and before long it was after midnight and people stared wondering what was going on; one even ventured to say “AV’s still on the street after midnight, what’s happened?” It’s true, I am rarely on the street at that hour, normally at midnight I am safely in bed.

Back to my daily routine. I have to make a decision… Do I have lunch, or a nap?



I am a Pro

My Old Imperial

A procrastinator, that is.

Yesterday was to have been a post day, especially after my dismal performance, or lack of it, during the entire week. It was actually at half past midnight before I realised that the chance to post yesterday had expired.

Today it is lovely and cool, torrential rain at 5:30am. It finally stopped about 10am and left the day wonderfully refreshingly cool. The previous 10 days were not wonderful, nor refreshing, nor cool. Ten days of 40ºC+ degrees, Tues, Weds & Thurs were actually 43ºC (110ºF). My heat rash is in full boom, if my garden had bloomed this well, I would have been a happy camper.

Friday, I decided to use the meat I had stored up. 5 o’clock BBQ at the botequim, lots of beer. So I happily BBQed until 9pm, or so… It was too hot to go to work, so I rang my student and invited him to participate in an extracurricular class discussing the merits of cuts of meat and the vocabulary involved with burning the stuff. As he lives nearby, he was chuffed. Much better than the sterile environment of a classroom, and of course, there was beer.

Saturday I woke to find a polar bear in the living room. It wasn’t really, I was so sleepy that I had stumbled over Lixo lying in the middle of the floor as cats are want to do. But I knew the ominous sign, the mere thought of polar bears meant the fridge needed defrosting. It did. It left me in the middle of a hot day with no cold drinks and no ice cubes. Sometimes things just don’t work out as planned.

You may have been wondering why the typewriter up there. Well, I had one of those. It was given to me as a Christmas present when I was twelve, and it is the reason why I can find my way around the keyboard with reasonable dexterity despite using only two fingers. My hunt & peck is more like a know-where-it-is & stab!


I saw a post today entitled ‘Bedposts’. I was intrigued enough to read it thinking, probably as you are, about the upright portions of a bed. I was fooled, as you will be.

The post was about posts that one writes on ones laptop while languishing in ones bed on a Saturday and Sunday morning.

The English language continues to evolve.

I look at the clock and see that it is time for lunch… to be finished.

So, I should toddle off and see what is left in the fridge that one might consider edible. It’s not going to be healthy, it is going to be quick… because I am suddenly peckish. Stupid American spell checker tells me that ‘peckish’ isn’t a word.


I should get the chance to add a Sunday Travel Tales today.

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