Tag Archive: poo


I am so cool

Not cool... just another little wanker

Not cool… just another little wanker

No, NOT Joe Cool, or Bieber cool.

The weather is cool, and therefore I am too. I’m not complaining, it’s pleasant after our recent hot spell.

I read of an ingenious way of getting around the problem of no net on An Englishman in Italy. I love his blog. After his post, I commented: “I have a similar problem at work. No, it doesn’t involve a yacht’s mast, yet. I was able to get a connection when the other firm occupied the room next to my classroom. But they moved across the road. It was fine when they had the router near the front window, but they moved it to the back room; now with an extra wall between us sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Maybe I should look for a mast…”

If you want to understand the yacht mast you’ll have to read his side of the story.

It was so handy having the net in class. I used to d/load music and song lyrics and also to demonstrate things relating to English culture. I must try and convince my bossette that the net is a good teaching aid, but she is very old fashioned and bleats about the cost of everything. Last week I asked for fly spray to combat mosquitoes that were annoying students; you’d have thought I had asked her to put a down payment on the crown jewels instead of an R$8 can of spray. Then I got a lecture about how to use it frugally.

Apparently people do cook lipstick

Apparently people do cook lipstick

Did you know that the average woman consumes 6lbs of lipstick in a lifetime… Quite frankly, I am amazed, I have never thought of eating lipstick, I wonder how they cook it, or is it eaten raw?

On a different eating theme. I love avocado milkshakes. Half an avocado, lots of ice and milk. into the blender.

Drink it until the pain hits, right at the base of the skull. Brain Freeze! Oh why do I do it.

Last week I made them for my kids when they visited.

Emmylee’s immediate response, “I’m not drinking that, it’s Shrek poo!” Sigh, that’s an eight year old for you.

I showed her the avocado skins and finally convinced her to try it. She liked it. Now they’re called Shrek poo!

Shrek poop

Shrek poop

Ebola. They’ve been telling us lies… again. In 1990 Ebola was recognised as being airborne.

The British pound is falling, it has upset money markets. Now tell me again where is this economic recovery they keep talking about.

Hong Kong situation explained in intelligable language by Andrew in a great post. Thanks Andrew, that was well done.

Must be time for Nap-fu practice.

Later.

Today is Football!

So far today I jave made coffee,  sneered savagely at the dishes and I have fed Clorinha. There, I think that’ll do it for the day; exhausted already.

Yesterday, I did get constructive. I moved one lot of parsley into an old paint tin full of fresh compost… pooo! I wanted to free up the vaguely ornamental square plastic pot that the parsley was in. I have one more to move, but no paint tin for more pooo!

Comes in economical One Gallon cans

Comes in economical One Gallon cans

At risk of tarnishing my reputation, I did some dishes last night while waiting for my huge burger pattie to grill. Dollops of ketchup and bread ‘n butter. I was ravenous after work and I wanted something quick.

I was really miffed last night. They advertised a film for after the news. It looked like a good film. When the news finished the same old bullshit soap opera stared.

I flipped off the TV switch and went to bed.

Sausage meat and mincemeat steak-like thingies for lunch. Nothing fancy and has to be quick, football at 1pm. Germany vs France and beer, followed by Brazil vs Colombia and more beer.  Can’t watch football without beer, it amounts to cruelty.

The feline vacuum in action at the last BBQ

The feline vacuum in action at the last BBQ

There should be a BBQ as well. Clorinha will be pleased, she waits under the serving table for scraps.

Shes not silly.

Four of my last five cats were good mousers. One, da Meow, was a ratter. We have plenty in the filthy creek next to the botequim. Daily, da Meow, pranched across the botequim veranda with a huge dead rat; some bigger then him. When da Meow was on the street, the small dogs in the area shook with fear, least he make a mistake.

Clorinha on the other hand needs to go to Rodent College for some lessons. Last night I found a mouse dropping on my coffee table. I let Clorinha sniff it, to see if I could instil the idea. She just looked up at me with a “Why have you got mouse poo between your fingers” look.

She could at least earn her keep. Is that too much to ask?

Before I go…

4th

Happy 4th July

to my esteemed American readers and visitors.

Later, much later.

 

A Poop in the Corner

Yes, she hid under the kitchen sink where I couldn’t reach her and she pooped in the corner… The broom wasn’t handy, so she got away with it. The broom is now parked in the kitchen.

Steak N EggsSteak ‘n eggs for breakfast. I was sorely tempted to open a bottle of wine to complete the debauchery, but I resisted, I fought with myself internally and opted for sparkling mineral water and ice.

It was more of a brunch really. I woke hungry from my nap at 11am.

After lunch I watered the plants, they were doing a great impression of dying. Well, not actually ‘dying’ but doing a distinct wilt.

tbirdI had to shut down and do a CHKDSK, something had crashed in my Thunderbird email client and I couldn’t delete mails.

Things were a bit sluggish too, and it fixed that.

So I killed a bird and a slug with one stone.

With all the crap about Brazil not being prepared for the FIFA World Cup, it looks like it’s going to be the same for the Olympic games. Just two years away and some venues haven’t even been started.

Scandal: Tamiflu, the wonder flu drug, appears to be no more effective than Paracetamol. And, the Brits have spent a cool £473m on stockpiling the stuff. Who’s been conned then?

The news is full of Pistorius this, Pistorius that. I heartily sick of Pistorius, I don’t give a damn, tell us when they find him guilty or not. I don’t want to know every sordid detail. It’s boring.

God is angry at the Australians for culling sharks. He’s sent a typhoon to punish them on Friday night and ruin the weekend.

The hunters of MH370 have another beep. So they are narrowing down the search area. Makes it more likely that they’ll find their flight recorder and find out what happened to the flight.

It’s another nice sunny autumn day out there, makes one think that they should be out there enjoying it. The beer truck has been, so I know that the botequim has beer; now there’s a thought.

Later.

Here’s a thought for the day…

brain-outstanding2

 

My Day is Carefully Measured

I have spent half chasing tests and pills, and the other half asleep, oh and the other half chasing Cloro’s kitty poos and pees…

Does that make sense? <—— Rhetorical question, doesn’t need an answer and I don’t want to know if it does.

I not long ago woke from a nap. Dizzy lizzy came to visit.

Nothing by mouth before blood tests

Nothing by mouth before blood tests

My day started off diabolically… NO COFFEE! Now that is totally unreasonable to expect anybody to function with the remotest sense of decorum without coffee. However, today I managed. I didn’t manage it well, but I managed.

My first stop was the laboratory at the clinic for blood tests.

Now that seems simple enough, that is until you see the sign on the wall. ‘Documents required before tests will be done…’ ID – I don’t have ID, but they accepted my passport number, the next was the killer… CPF (Brazilian tax number) – I don’t have one, I am ‘passing through’. Response, can’t do tests without one! So, I very carefully and calmly explained to the pretty receptionist (remember this was a pre-Coffee situation), that I had managed to arrange the appointment with the specialist without a CPF, I had registered at the specialist without a CPF, they had received my money (remember that R$150 yesterday) without a CPF, I had seen and been treated by the specialist without a CPF; and now you tell me I can’t have a BLOODY BLOOD TEST without a CPF!

I had begun to envisage the new clinic wallpaper

I had begun to envisage the new clinic wallpaper

She called her supervisor, then asked me to sit and wait a moment.

I assumed she had told the supervisor that she had a hysterical velho caduco (grouchy old man) without a CPF causing um escandalo (a ruckus) in reception.

Because by now the whole reception was tuttering ‘bureaucracy’ and knew that this religiously founded clinic was denying an old man a blood test.

Eventually, she summoned me to the counter again and proceeded to book the blood test.

See, it pays to throw a tantrum, something I learned very early in life. It wasn’t a ‘rolling-on-the-floor’ type of tantrum, I managed to retain a little poise and respect, but I got the blood test… after paying another R$105.

It was against the odds

It was against the odds

Hell, it’s MY blood and I have to pay to give it! I managed to avoid another meltdown and was lead through the doors into the inner sanctum to find that the staff had been running a book, he will/he won’t get a blood test.

The nurse taking my blood was on the winning side and treated me with courtesy and respect; and none of the ‘this-won’t-hurt (me)’ bullshit.

I left a happy victim, I even thanked the pretty receptionist, after all, she had learned something ‘everything is possible, even if it flies in the face of bureaucracy.

So far, so good.

Taxi home. Need to call at a chemist’s to get prescription filled. First chemist, power’s out cant do it. Yes, we have the pills but can’t do it without power for ‘puter. Second chemist, sorry only have one lot, I can call the chemist down the road and have them delivered. The second chemist didn’t answer the phone, remember, his power is out.

The power was indeed out, on our way we saw that a fast moving concrete telephone pole had jumped out in front of a stationary bus. Both had come to a sticky end.

Third chemist, yes… yes… great, I got my pills and the taxi fare was climbing.

Home took pills.

Exhausted, need nap. Cancel classes before nap.

And here I am, rattling with all the pills.

Later.

Oh, a foot note, Cloro has started pooping and peeing in his pizza box facility…

Yay!

Cummins and Goin’s

dog-picking-up-his-poop-150x150

Cloro needs lessons

Cloro still sounds like a little Cummins diesel, but he’s going to have to control his goin’s. So far has has gone on the sofa x2, the carpet, the towel (I found that after I sat in it) , the T-shirt, and he’s just pissed on the sheets. He doesn’t seem to get the idea that you poo in the pizza box. He’s done one poo in the garden, but it has been raining since and that’s not conducive to kitties going outside.

He’s discovered there’s a cat inside the oven. He plays peek-a-boo with the mirror-like oven door.

Had a dizzy lizzy today, finally tracked down an ortorh… ear-nose-throat guy, saw him this afternoon. The conversation went like this; Good afternoon (R$50) let’s have a look (R$50) Hmmmm, needs a wash (R$50)…

coffecatI have to go back in the morning before coffee for some tests. I tried to explain to him that going out the gate before coffee was a bit like becoming a Zombie, to no avail.

Then I go back for the results next Tuesday.

Meanwhile, more pills.

I am trying 0.0% beer. Funny stuff, tastes sort of like beer… NO! It tastes like straw soaked in water, but I could get used to it. Beggars can’t be choosers.

I’m going to have another handle with some chips (may be they’ll improve the flavour) and watch the news.

Later

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