Tag Archive: Scotland


Totally Screwed

Screwed in so many ways

Screwed in so many ways

Of course, it’s Monday, one should expect it.

I found out this morning that today is Dia de comércio (Business Day), not last Monday as I thought.

After needing to go to the supermarket since Friday, I procrastinated; Saturday, I procrastinated again, and again yesterday. When the situation finally got desperate and I resolved to go today, my neighbour informs me that the supermarket is closed for the business holiday.

So, it looks like tomorrow.

I needed bread, the breadman didn’t pass, I went to the bar in the next street to get bread. I’m out of fizzy water. I now have bread, I have little else.

Lits List of things to do today…

Get fizzy water.

Change the wall clock.

Take something to eat out of the freezer.

The dishes.

Learn how to spell!

Go back to bed and start the day over.

Monday, it could only happen on a Monday!

I managed to get fizzy water at the botequim. I was surprised he was open, when I enquired why, he said I’m not a business, I’m a social service…. True, true.

Lunch will happen. I’ve just prised a small pack of thin steak from the freezer drawer where it had cemented itself in ice during the last defrost. So weinerschnitzel is on the menu. I won’t starve.

We got a little rain overnight. Not much, but it has perked the bushes up, they were looking rather sad. But the storms promised for today have yet to manifest.

LonglivescotlandSex, we all know about sex. But have you ever wondered when did sex start?

No? Me neither. That is until I saw the answer this morning. The Scots invented sex; even though they weren’t flying the flag of St Andrew at the time.

Apparently, sex began in a Scottish lake 385,000,000 years ago. So when they say sex is as old as the hills, they’re damned near right.

You can read about it on the Tomus post this morning.

Australia is in the silly box today. Abbott’s policy of ‘fossil fuels are good for humanity’ is back firing. Many businesses and institutions are divesting themselves of investments in companies that rely on fossil fuels in a collective demonstration that Australians care about the environment even if he doesn’t, or is too stupid to care. Personally, I think the latter.

The sky has clouded over; a bit like my mind at the moment. And there is a little wind; a bit like my…. oh never mind. Maybe we will get the stormy weather later.

I shall go and watch the clouds from the veranda of the botequim.

Later.

A quarter to early

panicbuttonYes, that’s when I was up this morning.

Coffeed.

Most of my blogging done.

45 minutes until I hit the panic button, throw on some clothes, get nice and smelly and leave for class.

Bright outside, not sunny, not hot; but that could change. I hope not too drastically because I haven’t watered the plants yet.

Cat among the pigeons

Cat among the pigeons

Russia is threatening to sever the Russian internet from the rest of the world.

That’ll put the cat among the pigeons.

This Putin character is so paranoid, and so he should be; he started it.

I have finally figured out the days of the week…

Monday, Monday, Monday Monday, Friday, Saturday & pre-Monday. Please adjust your calendars accordingly.

While I was waiting for inspiration, I let my mind wander… and it didn’t come back!

I’ll go and check in the kitchen.

FOUND IT! It was right there by the coffeepot wainting for me.

Now that all the hooha over Scots independence is over, maybe we’ll get some real news. Like a drunk Australian repelled a crocodile attach by poking the beast in the eye. Or maybe, Prince William starts a solo visit to Malta… it would be more newsworthy if it was Prince George. Hell, he’s walking now, he should be taking on his share of the royal duties. Maybe they are waiting until he’s toilet trained; can’t have a royal shitting their pants in public, can we?

PgeorgepoopTime to get desmellified for class.

Later.

Muggy

GHWYes, it’s muggy. Not hot, but very humid. I am sitting here in my underpants….

Oh shit, you didn’t read the warning, did you!

…sweating at 8am.

And the day promises to get hotter.

Last night, I had pizza for supper. I had planned a full meal, but after late class and a later beer, I decided that pizza was less time and effort.

breakfastSo, breakfast this morning, I took the advice of Foul Bachelor Frog (see Tuesday’s posts on Nether Region of the Earth III) and had a ready prepared snack in the fridge.

Although, I did make it more breakfasty by spreading cream cheese on it.

Quite yummy.

In my younger days we didn’t have pizza like today. There were no Pizza Huts or pizzas in the supermarkets, so we didn’t have the same advantages of today’s youths where cold pizza competes with cornflakes as a breakfast food I can, however, recommend it.

The carefree life of a bachelor. Nobody watching over your shoulder muttering “That’s disgusting!”

Remember those pork steaks from yesterday, they didn’t get schnitzeled. I have that ready for today. The kids didn’t arrive for their class yesterday, I tried ringing the ex, but kept being diverted to the message box; I guess she’s out of credits again and has the cellphone off.

I’m still waiting for the techy-type to change my standby monitor for a standby standby monitor and take my second LCD away to see if that can be repaired. The original LCD monitor seems to have a protection problem that is causing him some grief. Probably more to do with planned obsolescence. The second LCD I think is a power (on/off switch) problem which may/may not be easier to tackle, and therefore speedier. He’s behaving like a Brazilian… Oh, wait, he is Brazilian.

Headline news, some idiot tried to swim to North Korea… How obtuse can you be? North Koreans are trying to escape the clutches of the mental little brat that runs the place, and he tries to go there….

Yes/No The noes have it. Scotland stays in the United Kingdom. Apparently they will still be allowed to toss cabers.

cabertossingfunnyAnd blow into udders…

bagpipesto annoy the neighbours.

Image, also BBC

It must be sad living in a country with no sense of humour – “Six Iranians arrested for appearing in a video dancing to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy have been sentenced to up to one year in prison and 91 lashes, their lawyer says”. – BBCNews.

Yesterday, I mentioned the IS threat of beheading a random Australian. Well, today they have increased security at parliament, Tony Abbott doesn’t want to considered ‘random’. He’s already considered an idiot, adding random to that would just be overboard.

Sushi ko-  whale meat

Sushi ko – whale meat

More sushi than science: Japan is flying in the face of the IWC ruling banning it’s scientific sushi whaling expeditions.

Apparently you can also get whale’s balls…

Actually they are korokke made with whale meat as a form of croquette.

There is actually some doubt as to whether the whales ever get scrutinised by scientists and the whole thing is commercial whaling in disguise.

Check out this chart, I believe it is classed as scientific research.

Whale Scientific Research

Whale Scientific Research

It is about here that I run out of steam and inspiration.

Later.

Needs Ketchup

ItaliansTasteAwfulReported that now Suarez is complaining that Italian  players should be sent on to the pitch with ketchup sachets to improve their flavour.

The whole world is clamouring about the Suarez bite, except Uruguay.

Lugano, the captain commented, “What incident?” Even José Mujica, Uruguay’s president, came out in support.

He should have a colar fitted by the vet

He should have a collar fitted by the vet

Uruguay is in denial. But then they would have to be.

If Suarez is banned, the team will be on the bus home after their next game, he’s the only real footballer they’ve got.

If Suarez ever gets to play football again, he should be taken to the vets and have a collar fitted.

Update:

I have just read the news that he is banned for four months, that’s good, but it also shows how pathetic and toothless FIFA is. He shouldn’t be allowed near a football stadium for life; he might develop a taste for fans.

Sunny still day out there, coolish; ideal for watching football.

I’m not actually a football fanatic, but once every four years, I become an enthusiast and make the right noises at the botequim during games. As for being a hooligan, I manage to demolish two bottles of beer per game, I’m told that this level of hooliganism is acceptable.

I have posted, I have napped, the shelf under the kitchen sink is still a vague thought somewhere in the back of my mind. My next plan is to put on my shorts and water the plants; I have to put on my shorts because five of them are outside the gate and I don’t want to startle shock the natives neighbours.

Lunch was simple egg and parsley and tomato and parsley sandwiches.

I should be thinking about the supermarket, once again my fridge is almost devoid of food. I could survive until tomorrow though.

WHO is getting concerned about Ebola, so far 600 infections with 400 deaths. At the moment it is isolated in West Africa with little international travel involved, but how long before it shows up in a major travel hub, then it’s a world problem.

Renaming the UK in the event of Scotland’s independence, some have suggested “Former UK”  Snappier perhaps, but as writers have pointed out, the abbreviation – fUK – is somewhat unfortunate.  – BBCNews

fUKed is more like it.

Five minutes to kick off, Germany vs USA, I’m rooting for Germany. The supermarket idea is now officially on hold.

Later.

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