Tag Archive: silly box


Burp!

howIfeelWell, not so much a burp.

Rather a case of hiccoughs.

A burp is once only, normally not so disruptive, unless it happens to be sufficently oppulent and it might then shock an old lady out of her prim little socks.

Yesterday my internet had a case of hiccoughs.

It was just before 6pm when I realised that I hadn’t posted here. I opened the ‘Beep beep boop’ page and wrote the title and that was as far as I got when I discovered the net was down. Not an ISP problem, but further up the chain as sometimes happens; nothing the ISP can do about it, except wait patiently.

The net eventually returned, only to go down again. Then it was a case of up and down for the rest of the evening until I gave up and went to bed. I was so miffed that I haven’t replied to some comments from yesterday. I’ll get on to that after this post.

It was up again when I woke, but already past the midnight deadline, so I missed and decided it can wait for morning.

I finally found a New Years resolution that I am sure to abide by. Not to become a pole dancer in Mongolia. I think that’s a fairly safe bet. Maybe next year, but I vow that it will not happen this year.

Yesterday was hot. No classes, the botequim was open, so there was only one logical choice. I went. Only to find out that a regular was about to pass the supermarket; an idea that I had been procrastinating. I accepted the offer, changed and went.

Lunch was a sandwich snack. Fresh ham and chopped spring onion greens. Just enenough to keep the walls of my stomach from collaspsing in on each other and went to the bar with a plate sliced Provolone cheese drowned in olive oil and spring onions to nibble on.

With a chilled beer and nibbles, I proceeded to do nothing for the rest of the day.

Nap-fu.

NOT these mutton chops

NOT these mutton chops

On returning to the botequim once I discovered the net was down, one of the fregües mentioned that he had found a place that sold mutton chops.

I have never seen mutton chops for sale in Brazil before. I knew that on rare occasions they had them…

The mere thought of mutton chops with gravy or homemade mint sauce set my wouth watering.

Want!

Today I will go and get some for the next BBQ.

I am now being tormented by the prospect and have visions of delicious chops floating before my eyes… No, wait that’s probably an early sign of cornea problems.

Visions waft before my eyes

Visions waft before my eyes

The Charlie Hebdo massacre in Paris has shocked the world. A terrible thing to happen. Islamic leaders all over the world have decried the actions of the terrorists, reiterating that such acts are in no way connected to the ideals of Islam. But we have to remember, that this is not just a Muslim thing, the Christian churches were not above such actions and genocide in history. Which all reinforces my own atheism, because if there was a merciful god or a prophet, this wouldn’t happen.

It’s a terribly sad and bitter world we live in.

Silly Box: Tony Idiott has mad a surprise visit to Iraq. A surprise visit indicates that he has given no thought about the matter. I finally understand how to tell if he is on the level… he dribbles equally from both corners of his mouth at the same time.

At the moment, that’s all I have to entertain you with. It’s time for the anti-wilt parade. Love my plants, generally hate humanity, but love my plants.

Later.

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Doing it again!

FFtoomanytabsYes, as soon as this post is done. I’ll be doing it all again.

It’s as close to Christmas cheer as I’ll get.

Last night I had to reset FireFox. It got too sluggish. I hate doing it because all my plugins disappear and I have to hunt them and reload them to get rid of the ads and all the trackers. It’s a hassle.

I have been reading about ‘Panic Saturday’, the last Saturday shopping before Christmas. It happened here in Brazil too. Stupid, stupid people. Hundreds of thousands of people out buying Christmas presents. Wild horses couldn’t drag me into town to do this.

Yesterday, I went to town, just the perifery, and it was insane. You couldn’t navigate the footpath for illegal stalls selling all sorts of crap. I eventually got to the butchers, got my stuff and got a taxi the hell out of there as fast as I could.

Silly Box: Raul Castro, Putin and China’s Xi, all qualify collectively for the silly box today. Castro becauses he’s pushing a weel recognised idealogical failure, communism; Putin because he’s a megalomaniac arsehole and driving Russia to the brink with his stupid ideas and Xi because he’s flying the ‘one China’ idea at the expense of the well being of his country ignoring the fact that the Islands of Macau and Hong Kong don’t want anything to do with one freakin’ China.

Right now my mind is dealing with important matters like, what do I put on the grill first. Pork ribs is the answer.

I should put my pants on (just finished Nap-fu practice) and mosey along to the botequim.

I may have photos to post later.

So, later.

Dethursdaying

thursday-8I am in the process of dethursdaying, that is finishing Thursday, or not having a Thursday, or, indeed getting over the effects of a Thursday.

I was up early to get posts organised, because late yesterday my lawyer rang and booked a 10am appointment. So I spent the rest of the day and partially sleepless night repeating “Oh shit” to myself wondering what had possibly gone wrong, could have possibly gone wrong.

All was over nothing, just to tell me that next Tuesday is the day of reckoning, so I have four days to rest and relax. He also wanted to give me the chance to make my next payment on the bill, which I have a sneaky idea was the real reason. Shifty buggers, lawyers.

However, it also gave me the chance to pay the rent. So apart from having four more days reprieve, I have a roof over my head for those four days… no food yet, but I have a roof.

Hot day, strong sun. My response to that was cold beer on arrival.

Home, answered emails, and Nap-fued, from which I have just deNap-fued and am having that quintessential coffee to wake up and spend the rest of the day looking for Friday.

Lunch, is left over pizza, so I won’t starve.

I may yet make a batch of onion rings to take to the botequim for nibbles, so I don’t feel beholden to share my half pizza; it’s such a little pizza.

Once I am at the botequim, I fear that is where I shall continue the process of dethursdaying surrounded by friends and empty bottles. Which is why you’re getting your post early today, because the chances of getting it later are remote.

Passion fruit flowers are out already, for the fifth day in a row. The smell in the front room is already heady. I am watching closely for the first sign of the first fruit.

Silly Box: A Chinese opened the door of a plane taxiing on the runway for take off; he wanted some fresh air. How silly is that?

I have surmised that there is only one way to rid American politics of Repugnicans and Democraps and that is to make American Idol, or the current inanity, a political party with the possibility of Kim Kardashian becoming president. That awful thought came to me as I was replying to a comment from yesterday. The only thing that could possibly be worse, is Miley Cyrus pole dancing her way into the White House.

With taht terrible thought, I shall moe along. Right next door… um, after i have put on my shorts.

Later.

But, I’ll leave you with a clip of the new Star Wars movie…

gif-war-kitchen-droid-1100585

A Crime so Heinous

4bagscoffee

The coffee in my cupboard

I read on a blog today that the blogger had forgotten to buy coffee. How can one do that? To run out of coffee is surely a crime so heinous that it deserves keelhauling, being hung, drawn and quartered, sent to the guillotine then buried up to the neck and stoned.

I am never out of coffee. I have four bags in the cupboard as well as the one I am using.

Monday, so far nothing has gone wrong; apart from the fact that I slept later than usual, so I am late with my posts. But that is not a disaster.

Plants are watered, been for a wander around to the bakery for ciggies… the botequim is out, again. So that constitutes my constitutional for the day.

Sun is out, not a breath of wind, probably going to be hot enough for beer.

My PC went on a go-slow last night. So I had to close down and reset this morning. I must do a Defrag later because something is gumming up the cogs.

Day off. Nothing planned except lunch. I already have the sushi stuff down from the shelf.

Sushi stuff

Sushi stuff

Breasts are multifunctional devices, a great follow up post from Rachel.

The Silly Box: Vietnam has jailed a blogger, again, for criticising the communist government. They’re fools, by taking such action they give the blogger more coverage than if they simply ignored him. They are drawing attention to their own incompetence.

A vice-president of Korean Airlines deserves the Silly Box too. She also happens to be the daughter of the president. She stopped the plane while taxing for take off, return to the terminal to remove a flight steward who had the temerity to serve macadamia nuts in a paper bag to first class passsengers. My opinion is that the spoilt brat executive should have been taken off the flight and spanked thoroughly.

Candy_CrushNow some serious headline news. A British MP was caught playing Candy Crush during a parlimentary meeting.

This is serious. My opinion, any parliamentarian, or elected representative, caught playing such banalities should be sacked forthwith; no second chances, sacked, losing all pensions and priveleges. Because they obviously don’t take their job seriously and don’t deserve it.

A judge has ruled that a young boy can have a blood transfusion despite his Jehovas Witness parents objections. The kid had serious burns and needed a transfusion, but they were just going to standby and watch him die because of some imaginary deity. This is purely parental negligence. In my mind they have forfeit the rights to be parents.

The day is moving along. I should go and move along with it. No flowers today.

Later.

Half a Mind

halfamindYes, I am of half a mind.

But I don’t know if it’s the left half or the right.

It did rain yesterday. About a half hour after I had declared the sky had blued, it unblued quickly as clouds came over fast. The rain started about 7pm during pizza and beer which was interruped by the need to trot off home and put on a T-shirt as the temperature dropped faster than the rain.

I got to class last night and waited for my students, and waited and waited… Finally the magic hour arrived in which I needed wait no longer and I toddled off home again.

Today is cool, it rained all night and my planned sushi evening for the botequim has been put on hold. It will be BBQ instead; befitting the weather.

Last night, right about the time I turn off the TV and concentrate on the net, there was none. Something had happened at the ISP, and it only returned after 10am. Which means a late start. I normally start my day’s blogging about 6, or there abouts. So I am behind and it sort of screws up my plans for the day. It was about this time I had planned to be AT the supermarket, but here I am writing my first post of the day and cope with caffeine withdrawal.

The first two buds on my passion fruit vines

The first two buds on my passion fruit vines

My passion fruit vines will have their first flowers today or tomorrow. There are many more buds forming.

My guava tree has guavaed, and I am waiting for the first fruit to grow bigger and ripen.

I finally had to pull out my first chilli bush. After four years of producing chillis, it browned off and died.

No classes today, just two hours tomorrow morning, then that’s it until Tuesday.

Headline news: The Vatican has discovered money. Apparently salted away that no-one knew about; some hundreds of millions… not to be sneezed at.

Silly Box: UKIP in Britain has told women don’t breastfeed ostentatiously so as to embarrass anyone. Nick Farage said it was fine for a woman to be asked to “perhaps sit in a corner”.

Go and sit in the corner…

The Ass!

And this man wants to lead Britain?

The people who are embarrassed by breast feeding should be told to go and sit in the freakin’ corner, next to Nick Farage; the one with the dunce hat.

Nick Farage in a hole, stupid ass

Nick Farage in a hole, stupid ass

Businesses who take umbrage at breastfeeding mothers should be closed down as enemies of humanity, including Claridges which has a discretion policy on the matter. Breastfeeding mothers should feel a pride, not to be made to feel like freaks. Perhaps Bottle feeding mothers should be made to sit in the corner instead; as they are an embarrassment to motherhood.

This issue really tweaks my tits!

Now that I have got that off my chest, I’m off to the supermarket, maybe just a couple of quick posts first.

Dreaming of rump steak, liver, garlic bread and pork belly…

Later.

Unbottled

Funny-Coffee-03Today was a quiet day after yesterday.

Very cool, rainy on and off. A pleasant change.

It was a do-nothing day, so I did nothing.

I drank coffee, lots of coffee. So you are well protected.

I blogged a little, but not every where, this will be my last post for the day, and then it’s bedtime.

I watched Flamengo’s game at the botequim, and took a tray of delicious squid rings to share. They didn’t last long.

It was the first game shown on the new TV set up at the bar. On Friday, the bar underwent a transformation. The big screen TV was taken out; a hole punched in the beam across the ceiling and a projector fitted. The back wall got a coat of white paint and now TV is projected on the wall. The screen is nearly two metres across, so everybody gets a good view.

I don’t know what has heppened, but yesterday and today I had to log-in to reply to comments on my own blog… weird.

Can’t think of anything for the silly box, but Google has rented the world’s biggest billboard. I don’t know why, but someone thinks this is headline news; I don’t.

Bombs, a F1 winner, six new saints, a new computer bug, a 100 year old woman has seen the sea for the fist time, and they are now wondering if contact lenses are safe…

That’s about it in a nutshell.

Later, I’m off to bed.

Bottled

Green-bottles

Lovely green bottles

I love glass and find an ethereal beauty in a collection like this. Wine bottles and drinking glasses too.

Recently someone had the temerity to suggest wine in a box. What an obnoxious thought. Wine in a box is just the epitomy of tackiness; not a shred of class.

I am not tied to classy things, but some things just don’t ring right. I guess it is the tradition genes working. I am a traditional person.

This is NOT Zumbi - google got it wrong again

This is NOT Zumbi – google got it wrong again

Today is a holiday… yes, another one. Brazil has plenty of them. Officially it is Black Consciouness Day in memory of Zumbi de Palmares, one of the 17th century leaders for slaves escaping and being sheltered in quilombos (slave settlements) hidden in the bush.

It promises to be hot, like yesterday, but more so; and the day before. Yes, we had two brief days with rain and back to the hot. The forecast is for 34ºC but we are expecting it to be hotter with the UV indice 11 on a scale of 10… go figure; and the humidity dropping to 20%; that’s drier than some parts of the Sahara Desert.

That’s where the bottles come in. Big brown bottles, filled with beer, chilled so that when the beer is poured it forms ice on the top, served in glasses from the freezer. The nothing that was interrupted yesterday will happen today.

Tomorrow too promises to be a nothing day. Nobody will work between a day off and Saturday. Already a good number of people in Rio and São Paulo have gone to the beach for the four days. Most left yesterday, the rodoviária (bus station) had a hundred extra buses to the beaches east of Rio, and on TV last night the highway from SP to the coast was bumper-to-bumper. Me, I wil hobble leisurely the 11 metres from my gate to the bar, no traffic. I will leave my bengala (walking tsick) at home so I can’t be accused of driving and drinking; my small contribution to road safety.

Then of course there are Saturday and Sunday to contend with.

I was up early today, morning constitutional before 7am before the sun was really up. It was so early that I heard sparrows farting. So there is some truth in the saying ‘before sparrow fart’ to denote an early hour. Once home, I watered the plants and set to blogging. Not very productive, I’ve only managed two so far.

Silly Box: North Korea is throwing a tantrum. Threatening nuclear tests if the UN goes ahead with its probe into NK human rights. What a little wanker!

breast2I was really miffed earlier. A small local restaurant in England put up a sign that breastfeeding mothers should use the toilet rather than breastfeed at the table.

That is truly despicable.

If some of their patrons object to breastfeeding mothers, then they should retire to the toilet to eat, then their prudish sensibilities won’t be offended.

Society really does have some problems if breastfeeding mothers are considered offensive.

In my mind bottle feeding (unless by medical necessity) should be considered child abuse. These companies that make and promote baby formula need to be censored; and baby formula added to the list of prescription medicine. We do need to get our shit together.

America is really obsessed with death. Utah has now approved a return to the use of firing squads if execution drugs are not available.

Did you know that McDonald’s in India is vegetarian. More than half of Indians are vegetarian; they worship cows, not eat them.

So McD’s had to ‘localise’ their menu.

Aloo Tikki Burger

Aloo Tikki Burger

The Aloo Tikki Burger has a vegetarian cutlet of mashed potatoes, veges and Indian spices.

So, inline with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… this is Beersday.

I have already Nap-fued.

The hot sun and cold beer beckon from beyond my gate.

Later.

90% and feeling stroppy

funny-coffee-posterYes, well on the way to ‘better’.

Not 100%, nose still stuffy, cough gone, no sore throat, sneezing fits stopped consequentially bowel gases back under control.

I’ve been out and watered the plants, oh, it’s been an exciting morning. I’ve even done half the dishes. A new lease on life.

Back on coffee! Wonderful, deliriously wonderful coffee. Drank enough tea in the past couple of days to pay of the Sri Lankan national debt.

Sunny day today, still some ominous clouds around, but probably like yesterday, they’ll disappear.

Nothing planned until classes.

Just going to enjoy the day.

Headline news: Charles Manson is going to get married. That’s nice, but who gives a shit? That’s NOT headline news.

David Cameron said the world is heading for another global economic collapse… Hell, we’re still falling into the last one. What he really means is we’re going to fall even deeper.

I was surprised to read that 10% of British men pay for sex. I got married once, paid for sex for the next 20 years… was still paying 10 years after the divorce.

Marriage is just a nice way of saying ‘pay for sex’.

The whole sex issue is wrong. Woman love, men lust; it’s just the nature of things and it’s not about to change. It would be nice if it did change, but I can’t see it. At least it won’t in my lifetime.

Japanese science in a can

Japanese science in a can

Japan has revised the tally of Antarctic whales to be hunted this season. 333 down from 900+. My question is why 333, why not 330, or 300? What is another 33 whales? I guess that’s a big deal when you consider that their ‘scientific’ whale harvest finishes up on Japanese tables.

Silly Box: Putin is saying the west started on the cold war path. Funny, I don’t remember the west invading Crimea, or causing the problems in Ukraine, or supplying the means of downing the Malaysian airliner…

Still in the Silly Box: Female police recruits in Indonesia have to submit to a “two-finger” virginity test… WTF has virginity got to do with the ability to be a policewoman? Do males have to suffer the same indignity? Maybe there is an opening for a proctologist there… ah, pun… uninteneded, but appropriate.

Look at all that ivory… image: The Guardian

Cloning mammoths is in the news again.

Why clone mammoths, we can’t even look after the elephants that we’ve got.

Oh, but think of all that ivory, mammoths have such lovely big tusks.

A car that runs a million miles on 8 grams of thorium… Nah, the oil compnies wouldn’t like that.

There, that’s about it for the day.

Sorry about the posts of the last couple of days, they were a bit crappy, just like I felt.

Later.

My Nothe ith Blocked

The wine key

The wine key

The weather change has not done me any good.

One of the rare occasions when I suffer. I have been farting, sneezing, sniffing and coughing simultaneously. I didn’t need this on Sunday.

My last post for the day, the rest is done. The laundry lady has gone and I’m going to make some more tea… I’m drinking apple tea, no milk, no sugar; it’s wonderful.

The net has just returned. It’s been down for an hour so I took the chance to make breakfast; fried eggs.

It’s raining on and off, sometimes heavily, sometimes light. I am going to hit the ‘wine’ key soon and retire to the botequim. It’s too cold to drink beer, and I don’t want to chill my innards any more, so a red wine will be the order of the day.

There’s been a lot of hype about this probe landing on the comet. I read that it was a bit like landing a fly on a bullet. No mean feat. The probe didn’t land right and it’s not getting power from the solar pannels. Damn, billions of dollars and years of work, just to be thwarted by a flat battery.

I am sure there are better causes here on Earth to spend that money on.

“Muslims discovered the Americas more than three centuries before Christopher Columbus, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has said.” – BBCNews. Yes, and everybody knows that the Vikings found it even earlier. Everybody has a borrow to push.

The silly box goes to Russia. They’re planing their own Wikipedia to portray Russia “objectively and accurately”, in other words, portray Russia like Putin wants it, which my not necessarily be the truth.

I think a short Nap-fu practice, then hit the wine.

Later.

An hour later…

We’ll try that trick again, The net went down just as I hit the posy button.

I missed the deadline

list1Yes, all things being as they should have been, I had planned a late afternoon/evening post.

But that was overtaken by the need to pay a bill, which I had planned to pay in the morning but nobody was in the office and necessitated a return in the afternoon.

I arrived home and the botequim was open. It was a stinking hot day, so there was only once course of action to be taken.

So the post was delayed by beer. Then there was more beer, as I watched the sky cloud over. The subject turned to rain, would it. or wouldn’t it? Recent days have seen the sky cloud over and produce nary a drop of rain.

Then there was Brazil vs Turkey, nice result 4-0 to us.

However, yesterday it did rain. Not an awful lot, but more than the miserable efforts of last week

The intended post was then delayed by the local news, the dishes and then further delayed by the national news. The end of the news, and I was beset by a severe bout of the yawns and drooping eyelids; I hadn’t had my customery Nap-fu practice. The TV was turned off, couldn’t even stay awake for the football.

Today, I must get onto some posting; and this is the first.

I mentioned doing the dishes, which leaves me wondering why I still have a sink full of them…

This morning, first coffee, second coffee, watered the plants just to be sure, third coffee… and here I am.

It’s cool out there at the moment, but the sky is cloudless, and the prospect of a return to hot, hot is high on the cards.

Nothing planned for today, except classes in the evening.

Exciting news, one of my plants has flowered. I didn’t even know this plant had flowers, so I am quite excited.

Not a fancy orchid-like flower, but a flower never-the-less

Not a fancy orchid-like flower, but a flower never-the-less

That was taken a couple of days ago, a single yellow petal with the sexy bits rising from it. Now there are little buds growing at the bases the fluffy bits. I assume they are seeds. I love watching the natural aspects of life. It takes ones mind off the rigours of the day. This is something that many people have forgotten how to do… relax.

Silly Box: Japan is going to restart at least one of their nuclear reactors, another chance for another Fukushima; just in case the world didn’t get totally destroyed by the first. If you’re going to do a job, don’t be half-assed about it.

Kirchner from Argentina was reported to be in a stable condition in hospital. That would be a first; she’s never been stable.

The Qatar bid for the 2022 World Cup report is due today, and expected to say no skullduggery was found. That’s bullshit. It has to be a white wash. Every aspect of their bid as reported in the news showed kickbacks, payments for changing votes, expensive presents. Makes me wonder how much the author of the report was paid/given… sucks.

The outgoing president of Uruguay has been offered $1m for his old VW Beetle by an Arab sheik. Honestly some people have more money than brains. What the hell would make a VW Beetle worth that much? But true to form, the world’s poorest president plans to donate the money to a charity that he supports. Which is where most of his salary goes.

Okay, fourth coffee coming up, and I continue to play the waiting game.

Later.

HAHA Update!

What did I say above?

The investigator of the FIFA bidding process has said that the report released by FIFA is WRONG. “contains numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions”. -BBCNews

Laughing all the way, I knew it, I just knew it.

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