Tag Archive: tantrum


The Day was Going Fine

All babies look like frogs

All babies look like frogs

I had blogged almost everywhere, I had replied to all comments, I had cleared my mail box, I had finally finshed the dishes.

The house was like an oven, the botequim still had no beer. I had Nap-fued and when I woke, the beer was being delivered; of course it was warm beer.

I took a well earned break, sitting under the trees with my neighbours enjoying beer from my freezer, and admiring their new born frog baby.

Oh, come on let’s face it, new borns look like frogs; mine did too, but I would have met a fate worse than death had I made such a pronouncement. This was the hairest frog baby I have ever seen; three days old and ready for his first trip to the barber’s.

It was about 3pm… and the frog’s father suggested BBQ.

I sat up straighter and paid more attention than I ever did in Miss Scott’s English class. “What did you say?” Was my response. Adriano looked guiltily at me, “I said BBQ.” His wife glared first at him, then at me. She thinks I am a bad influence and teaching her husband bad habits. Believe me, he needs no teaching.

Anyway, that’s when the day stopped.

The BBQ was underway, there was more beer in the freezer.

And that, dear reader, is why I didn’t post yesterday and the sink is full of dishes again.

I did get to the supermarket yesterday, so there is food in the fridge again, along with some beer.

Silly Box: The Chinese are scared of Christmas. So much so that one university banned Christmas and forced the students to watch three hours of communist propaganda films.

The French have a jobless crisis, no money, but they can find money to buy elephants. Priorities are important.

The pope condemns the persecution of minority religions. There was no mention that the Catholic church was the greatest persecutor a few centuried ago.

I read a blog last night. Some wonderful photos of some idyllic place. But the author had many photos of him in this idyllic place. Why do people have to be in their travel photos? Eleven years travelling all over South America, more than 12,000 catalogued photos, and I don’t appear in a single one. Is this some horrible form of narcism?

My passion fruit vines have had several flowerless days. None of the previous flowers produced fruit, so I am hopeful that the ones due to appear today change the course of recent history

Kim Jong-un berates Obama over the film The Interview. He doesn’t have the right to berate anybody. Many films have been made of despots, but none of them had a tantrum over it.

This is my last post of the day. It is a Saturday, my students cancelled yesterday, so I am free.

nothingI will spend the rest of the day enjoying the hot sun and cold beer.

I will do nothing,

Unless of course, someone mentions BBQ then things could change.

Later, like tomorrow…

My Day is Carefully Measured

I have spent half chasing tests and pills, and the other half asleep, oh and the other half chasing Cloro’s kitty poos and pees…

Does that make sense? <—— Rhetorical question, doesn’t need an answer and I don’t want to know if it does.

I not long ago woke from a nap. Dizzy lizzy came to visit.

Nothing by mouth before blood tests

Nothing by mouth before blood tests

My day started off diabolically… NO COFFEE! Now that is totally unreasonable to expect anybody to function with the remotest sense of decorum without coffee. However, today I managed. I didn’t manage it well, but I managed.

My first stop was the laboratory at the clinic for blood tests.

Now that seems simple enough, that is until you see the sign on the wall. ‘Documents required before tests will be done…’ ID – I don’t have ID, but they accepted my passport number, the next was the killer… CPF (Brazilian tax number) – I don’t have one, I am ‘passing through’. Response, can’t do tests without one! So, I very carefully and calmly explained to the pretty receptionist (remember this was a pre-Coffee situation), that I had managed to arrange the appointment with the specialist without a CPF, I had registered at the specialist without a CPF, they had received my money (remember that R$150 yesterday) without a CPF, I had seen and been treated by the specialist without a CPF; and now you tell me I can’t have a BLOODY BLOOD TEST without a CPF!

I had begun to envisage the new clinic wallpaper

I had begun to envisage the new clinic wallpaper

She called her supervisor, then asked me to sit and wait a moment.

I assumed she had told the supervisor that she had a hysterical velho caduco (grouchy old man) without a CPF causing um escandalo (a ruckus) in reception.

Because by now the whole reception was tuttering ‘bureaucracy’ and knew that this religiously founded clinic was denying an old man a blood test.

Eventually, she summoned me to the counter again and proceeded to book the blood test.

See, it pays to throw a tantrum, something I learned very early in life. It wasn’t a ‘rolling-on-the-floor’ type of tantrum, I managed to retain a little poise and respect, but I got the blood test… after paying another R$105.

It was against the odds

It was against the odds

Hell, it’s MY blood and I have to pay to give it! I managed to avoid another meltdown and was lead through the doors into the inner sanctum to find that the staff had been running a book, he will/he won’t get a blood test.

The nurse taking my blood was on the winning side and treated me with courtesy and respect; and none of the ‘this-won’t-hurt (me)’ bullshit.

I left a happy victim, I even thanked the pretty receptionist, after all, she had learned something ‘everything is possible, even if it flies in the face of bureaucracy.

So far, so good.

Taxi home. Need to call at a chemist’s to get prescription filled. First chemist, power’s out cant do it. Yes, we have the pills but can’t do it without power for ‘puter. Second chemist, sorry only have one lot, I can call the chemist down the road and have them delivered. The second chemist didn’t answer the phone, remember, his power is out.

The power was indeed out, on our way we saw that a fast moving concrete telephone pole had jumped out in front of a stationary bus. Both had come to a sticky end.

Third chemist, yes… yes… great, I got my pills and the taxi fare was climbing.

Home took pills.

Exhausted, need nap. Cancel classes before nap.

And here I am, rattling with all the pills.

Later.

Oh, a foot note, Cloro has started pooping and peeing in his pizza box facility…

Yay!

And so it came to pass…

learnbuttonI have always maintained that a day in which I learn nothing new, is indeed a day wasted. It’s a sort of philosophical thingy of mine.

Today I learned something new. I’m not actually sure that I wanted to learn this particular aspect of human behaviour; but there you go, once you learn something, you can’t ‘unlearn’ it.

It is, therefore, with some trepidation that I am going to share this perplexing puzzling strange weird perverse (I’ll find the right adjective in a moment, I’m getting close). Actually this stopped me dead in my tracks. I was about to get coffee, and nothing, but nothing can deter me from the singlemindedness of this task, but this did. My coffee mug remains empty beside me, this gives you an understanding of the gravity of the situation.

I am talking about ‘sneaky nuts’…

What’s that? You may well ask. I stumbled on it because I read in The Guardian of an Australian (had to be) politician who was censored because he ‘Liked’ a sneaky nuts prank on FaceBook. This piqued my interest. I was still in peanut, cashew nut, almond mode being totally innocent in this affair.

When I googled ‘sneaky nuts’ was stunned being presented with images like this…

sneakynuts

Apparently ‘sneaky nuts’ involves exposing one or both of ones testicles in a photograph; popping a nut, so to speak.

Why would anyone do this?

all-canesI mean the human gonads are nothing remarkable in the world of nature. I mean take a bull, for example, now there’s a mean set of gonads, and the pizzle is big enough to make walking sticks out of, or a mean looking Warrant Officer’s swagger stick.

The human pizzle is more of a frizzle in comparison.

Even the humble pig sports a pair worth showing off.

Now if you had a pair like this, you’d be justifiably proud to pop a nut for a photo.

pignutsSo you can appreciate that the human male doesn’t have much to show by comparison.

Having said all that, I will apologise to all those of a sensitive disposition and the religiously disturbed. I realise that not everybody wants to be confronted with a discussion on testicles first thing on a Friday morning.

Let’s move along, shall we? <—— Rhetorical question

My coffee cup overfloweth…

Yesterday I went shopping. It was my plan to buy an extra set of speakers and a mouse for my Think Pad to leave at work thereby negating the necessity of taking everything with me to work.

That part of the day was a success.

My next plan was to have lunch, no not Brazeiro, that gets a little expensive all the time. In order to get from the ‘puter place’ to the desired restaurant I had to pass a furniture shop which I often check because they have specials at times. Indeed, yesterday they did.

kidneytableI had thought of buying a decent coffee table, you see the one I have was salvaged from the trash. It was one of those called kidney shaped, well that was what my dear departed mother called it; we had one when I was a kid. Totally useless because they don’t really fit anywhere. But four years ago when I found it, beggars can’t be choosers.

I had seriously considered one of the same suite as the shelves that i have just bought, but the price tag was R$350. I was pleasantly surprise to see an oblong coffee table ‘pague e leve’ (pay and take it) for R$99. I went and had lunch, but this idea niggled at me all through a good meal. After lunch, I went back to the shop.

A discussion, can’t buy anything without a discussion in Brazil. If I was to buy the table, could they deliver it across the road to the taxi stand? A reasonable request, I thought, brandishing my walking stick to justify that I needed assistance.

mesa de centro artely masterThe answer… “No! Not allowed to.” Which after some haggling became “Well, for R$20.” I couldn’t believe it! R$20 to walk across the road! Bloody unbelievable, I entered tantrum mode (I’m 60+ but I still remember how to throw a tantrum). The nice man took it across the road to the taxi stand, just to get me out of the shop, I was becoming an embarrassment. See, tantrums work.

Remember that when your rugrat throws one next time.

So the afternoon was spent assembling and admiring my new coffee table.

I now have one of these in my living room. *satisfied grin*

My set of tower shelves has just arrived. They will come and assemble it tomorrow.

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