Tag Archive: testicles


One should never forget ones rubber ducky

One should never forget ones rubber ducky

You can tell by the spelling in yesterday’s post that I was a little whiskyfied, and that was after Nap-fu… imagine beforehand.

This post may be a long winded affair. Not long as in writing, but from start to finish. I am waiting for Carlinhos to bring Sofie’s photo to include.

I found this paragraph on Prince Charles – HRH of Twitter

The following phrases are only acceptable on Christmas Day:

  • I prefer breasts to legs.
  • If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
  • I’ve never seen a better spread.
  • Don’t play with your meat.
  • Do you want extra stuffing?
  • That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had!
  • Just pull the end and wait for the bang!
  • Are you ready for seconds?

Tickled my fancy. The rest of the post is well worth a read too.

Well the day has ticked away and no sign of Carlinhos.

So let’s move along.

A painful story, one that if it wasn’t so painful, it would be funny… She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.” That’s yours…. the mind fails to register.

Silly Box: Saudi women defying the female driving ban are to be tried in a terrorism court. Come on, it’s high time countries like Saudi Arabia joined the 21st Century. Oh sorry, can’t upset the Saudis, they’ve got all the oil.

More silly box: Turkey’s Erdogan is an egg, a scrambled one. A 16 year old has been arrested for insulting the president. My view is that if the president was insulted, then he deserves to be; and recent events in Turkey have proved it.

Spain’s new King Felipe VI attacks corruption in his Christmas Eve address, but does not mention his sister’s forthcoming tax fraud trial. How remiss… maybe he forgot.

Good news, Tony Idiott of Australia, hasn’t said or done anything stupid for two days.

Zimbabwe is selling elephants. $40,000 each, a bargain if you have need for an elephant. Apparently, China, France and UAE have a need.

Must go and see what the world outside my gate is doing. The botequim was almost out of beer… *Hums the song a Pub with no Beer*


I hope you all had a Merry Christmas Day.

Testy Calls

avocados1I have developed a fad. Lately I have been eating/drinking a lot of avocados. I hope they’re good for me…

So I googled it. They are considered the healthiest food in the world.

Warning… piece of useless information about appear:

The word “avocado” comes from the Spanish aguacate, which in turn comes from the Nahuatl word āhuacatl, which was also the Nahuatl word for testicles. Yes, I suppose the shape is about right, although the size indicates you are boasting.

About the only thing they are not is an aphrodisiac. Which is a pity when you consider the origin of the word. The last aphrodisiac I tried was oysters… I bought a dozen and only ten worked, damn they were too expensive for failures.


Oh, woe is me

Both my students canceled yesterday, next class, Thursday. No, it’s not! This Thursday is another sodding holiday, Labor Day, May 1st. Next class, next Monday…

That means I’ve will have had two weeks without a class, who’s going to buy my beer?

Went out and had pizza last night. Waddled home like a pregnant duck.

I was full.

Couldn’t sleep, drank water like a fish, then at 1am I was up making orange juice to try and quench my thirst.

Finally dropped off around 3am.

Clorinha has learned a new trick

Clorinha has learned a new trick

I was woken at six with a paw in the face.

Andrew suggested she had a sense of humour… NOT FUNNY!

In the news, the IOC has branded the 2016 Rio Olympics as the worst preparation they have ever seen. A great advert for Brazil.

Saw a news report last night that compared productivity in Brazil with other countries, principally the USA.

Basically, it was saying that the methods used in Brazil are so far behind the times. A five story building in the US can be erected using prefab modules in two months, in Brazil the same building takes two years.

We also have so many public holidays here where the only thing that moves is the right hand; lifting ones beer glass or stoking the BBQ.

This whole affair with the Ukraine, if the pro-Russian brigade want to be Russian, why don’t they shove off to Russia instead of making the anti-Russian brigade into Russians against their will? I’m sure Putin will be pleased to see them on his doorstep.

Now they discover that mega-cities are too heavy. Bit late to discover that now. They are sinking because of the extraction of ground water, and the weight of the cities is more than the ground can support.

Once again, man is the author of his own folly.

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid man is.

I feel a nap coming on…





It’s Near Time

aneuterYes, Cloro is getting close. She spends a lot of time outside meowing for other pussies. I’ll have to get her spayed soon.

I was napping, but Cloro had other ideas. She has this habit of boomping me in the face when she wants attention. The fact that I may be asleep is irrelevant; she keeps boomping until I give in and pet her. Listening to her little diesel engine is so rewarding, so all is forgiven.

I have just made my first lot of mint sauce. I bought two clumps of fresh mint in the supermarket this morning, i used one and have the other to do. In NZ we used mint sauce a lot on lamb and mutton, but I have missed the flavour since being in Brazil. I have never seen lamb or mutton for sale here, although you get it in rodizio BBQ restaurants. Next time I am there, I will inquire where they get it.

There’s not a lot happening, one day becomes another.

But I did promise testicles today.

The prospect of eating testicles probably evokes nausea in most, but this squeamish attitude is a result of us becoming softies living in the cities. The reaction is spreading to most offal foods, each successive generation is developing new levels of ‘yuck!’

But there are many around the world who eat testicles of varying animals. Surprisingly enough, there are still a lot in America who enjoy Rocky Mountain oysters.

A wonderful play on words

A wonderful play on words

Dishes like testicle pizza, battered testicles and and barbecued testicles and giblets can be found. Recipes can be found in this book The Testicle Cookbook also available as an e-Book; and recipes abound on the net. A good resume of the book can be found on a post Chef who Wrote this Must be Nuts.

A interesting post  on What’s Cooking America covers some of the basics.

One positive point is that testicles can be combined with bacon, now that’s a plus.

Some interesting comments can be found on Purple Slinky’s Loathesome Foods post.

So there’s basics, up to you to check the links.

Cloro is outside. Time to resume my interrupted nap.


I was right… again!

I was brought up on manual gears (stick shift)

I was brought up on manual gears (stick shift)

See, I didn’t mention penises and testicles in yesterday’s post, just small boobs and a happy pussy, and I got less than half the ‘Likes’. What does that say about you?

I should be doing the dishes, but blogging for Halloween and drinking oodles of coffee is much more fun. Lunch presents a problem, however, the tray I want to use for my lasagna is at the bottom of the kitchen sink.

A dilemma!

For me, Halloween is not a part of my culture although I was exposed to it via childhood comics, etc. It was not until I came to South America where American English is taught (Heavens only knows why) that Halloween has been infused into Latin American minds and, as a result, I have had to go with the flow. Also more so with my blogging adventures, I blog about it, but I don’t celebrate it. The only pumpkin you’ll find in my house is in the roasting dish.

So all my blog posts today have a Halloween theme, some blogs even have two posts, so there’s a shit-load of reading/exploring to do.

Cool day today, tried to rain, but it was a pitiful attempt, hardly wet the garden. One class this evening, then it’s weekend; a great way to start the month.

These are penises

These are penises

Now to guarantee that I get a few more ‘Likes’, I am going to mention penises and testicles.

Yes, those walking sticks are bulls’ pizzles.

I might add that mine is a wooden one; I have never been one to display my pizzle in public. Besides the police get all funny when men do that.

To elucidate further, these are also bulls’ pizzles, think about that when you are buying chew bars for Fido.

These are also penises

These are also penises

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Some of you are handling bulls’ pizzles on a daily basis.

Oh, and they can be cooked as well…

Not limited to bulls’ pizzles, but also those of pigs and deer.





Bull pizzle soup

Bull pizzle soup

Tomorrow’s installment will be on testicles…. still striving for ‘Likes’.

Later, it’s lunch time.

Sunday Slap-Dash

No burning penises or loose testicles in this post, if that’s what turns you on (must be I got so many likes on the last two posts) then I suggest you desist now before disappointment sets in and becomes a moribund fascination…

Sunday is a day to relax.

Unless of course you are religiously tainted, then its a mad panic to scrub the kids and make them look presentable before heading of to church to be relieved of the horrendous angst accumulated through the week. Then you don’t get a chance to relax


Great Chilean plonk

But on Sunday I have the luxury of relaxing, because I am not so tainted.

I have blogged today, I have napped today, I have watered the plants today and I have turned the compost over… This is called relaxing.

Having had a replete morning relaxing, I decided on lunch; which one tends to do if one missed breakfast. Well, I had three steaming mugs of coffee.

With my thoughts turned toward lunch, I remembered a recipe I saw yesterday on Kitchen Ventures. I had some of the ingredients, and had to improvise on others.

Prosciutto, for example became bacon.

Asparagus retained its original identity, albeit from a jar.

I didn’t have any wild mushrooms, but they were pretty pissed off by the time I put them in the pan.

Heavy cream became, well, cream.

White wine became a Chilean Cocha y Toro Riesling.

The rest of the ingredients more or less resembled themselves.

The first step in my Seared Prosciiuttoless Asparagus etc… was the wine. The chosen wine needs to breathe. So, open the wine and check; if it’s not breathing, give it mouth to bottle resuscitation.

what i started with

what I started with

I like cooking with wine. As on this occasion, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Once one has ascertained that the wine is, in fact, breathing. One slices good thick rashers off the block of bacon and cooks off to a crisp orangy-goldy colour, which is about the stage before burnt-to-a-crisp.

Take the bacon out and set aside.


Add oniony garlicky mushroomy things to bacon fat with a sprinkle of rosemary.


Stuff in the pan

Cooked off to golden colour, add wine… add a splash more just to be sure.

Reduce… (that does NOT mean tasting it yet!)

While that is reducing, layer the asparagus on the bacon in the tray.

Check that the wine is still alive.

Add pseudo ‘thick cream’, stir, while it thickens a bit, make toast. (Yes, I know this wasn’t in the original recipe!)

Pour sauce over asparagus and bacon, allowing the hot sauce to reheat the bacon and asparagus.


Offending mixture

Divide off about half the offending mixture and serve on hot buttered toast.

It is about this time that the remaining wine, whether breathing or not, should be dispatched humanely and put out of its misery.

That is a slap-dash, because everything is slapped in the pan with a dash of this and a dash of that. You’ll notice that I haven’t included measurements; if you know what you are doing, they’re irrelevant.

Consume ravishingly while watching The Incredibles. I don’t have cable so I had no choice. The wine makes them bearable.

The rest of the day to relax…

Later, much later.

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