Hot Spell

I wish my neighbour hadn’t sold his pick up

H – O – T

That’s how you spell it.

Yes, our hot spell continues. More than a month without rain and very low humidity. The bushes in the praça are suffering, all doing a serious wilt. I have to water Clorinha’s guava tree each day. Now it has plenty of new shoots.

All my plants get a good water daily too. The two guava trees (one pink and the other white fruit) have heaps of blossoms, so it looks like a bumper crop.

It’s about 40ºC+ (106ºF) at the moment.

Last night was a disaster at work. Three classes and not one student arrived. 4½ hours of waiting.

All I can say is TGIF, but then I have another screwed up Saturday ahead with classes. I can’t complain because I need them, The factory where we get a lot of students from has issued a directive that all language class contracts are cancelled as from the end of October. They are feeling the economic pinch too. I know that I have lost one student and I’ll find out about the Friday night group tonight.

Not cooking lunch today, it’s too hot.

I’ll cheat and wait for an after work pizza, and let them steam their buns off.

Not surprised. New Zealand got a place on the UN Security Council by sucking up to the Americans and letting them spy on the internet.

I read a shocking story last night. Whisper app is the most dangerous place to be. They are stooges for the American spying apparatus.

Twitter is to begin retweeting tweets to your timeline in case you missed them. They plan to retweet tweets that maybe of interest to you… If they get that as wrong as they get people for me to follow it’s another useless freakin’ exercise.

12 red cards

How to play Argentine football. Twelve red cards in one match. I can’t decide if that’s awesome or abysmal. See the brawl on video for yourself. All I can say is thank heavens they don’t play cricket, they’d be armed with bats as well.

According to a medical charity, so far all the efforts to combat Ebola are having no impact.

I don’t usually drink on work days. But… it’s so hot, a liquid lunch is on the cards. I’ve got six hours to sleep it off.

The botequim is opening, I can hear the sliders going up…

I’m off, it just became beer o’clock!

Later.

*Puts pants on*

Chain Reaction

Yesterday, I left you as I was about to prepare lunch at 4pm.

Now in order to do that, I had to wash the dishes from Sunday’s BBQ.

That’s about where the laws of physics took over.

Chain reaction

No sooner than I had started the dishes, running water, etc, I had the urgent need to pee.

What is with running water and the need to pee? Do women need to tinkle before doing the dishes?

Eventually, I got my beef curry on rice.

Having got that off my chest. I have another problem. What to write about…

Since yesterday, nothing really exciting has happened in my world. The botequim opened after my lunch, in good time to quench my after-curry thirst.

I was in much agony yesterday, I had a crook back, couldn’t move far, nor fast. That lasted until I went to bed. Woke up this morning, all better.

I planted my celery butt.

I could hardly stand the excitement.

It’s already growing little celeries, so I should soon have celery on call when I need it.

It’s so wasteful at the supermarket when you just need a few stalks but you have to buy a whole plant.

Twitter, dumb stupid Twitter, sent me another list of people to follow. SEO, Marketing Director, Marketing Muse… DELETE!

Google is in the poo again in Europe and unfair advertising. Honestly, Google is too big, too biased, it should be disbanded; or banned from the internet until it stops being such a shit site.

I read yesterday that the internet is leaking.

Personal data stores found leaking online

“Thousands of Britons could be inadvertently sharing their digital secrets with anyone who knows where to click, suggests a BBC investigation.

At risk are photographs, home videos and music collections as well as scans of documents such as passports, tax forms and other sources of personal data. In some cases, back-up files are being made available that, if downloaded and restored, could let attackers take over a victim’s online life.

Security firms suggest that attackers have already found out about this easy-to-access source of saleable data and are starting to actively seek it out and share it.” – BBC News, link above.

Rather disquietening.

Apparently, it’s not just leaking clouds, but your PC is leaking data too.

It seems as though nothing is safe  from prying eyes anymore.

My piece yesterday about the prostrate surgery of Iran’s supreme leader, prompted a comment that “maybe the Americans had a finger in this…” Then I thought, yes, the American government do have a finger in most unsavoury activity around the world, just like a proctologist.

Another still sunny day, I have wtered my drooping plants. Apparently this weather will continue until Friday, with each day getting progressively hotter than today’s expected high of 32ºC. Not bad, considering we are officially still in winter.

This post was brought to you with oodles of coffee, many cigarettes and not a fart joke insight.

I’ll fix that right now!

Later.

 

 

Machinations

Mental Machinations

This is roughly what goes on in my mind when posting on my blogs.

It’s all terribly confusing.

Somewhere in there is a cog called normal, it’s a bit like the spleen; doesn’t do much.

I’ve been up since six, managed three coffees and three posts in 3½ hours and not much else, I think the cogs need lubricating.

Or maybe I need Nap-fu practice. It’s about that time.

I made a wonderful lunch yesterday. I was going to take a photo to make you drool all over your keyboard; but I was hungry and ate it instead. Crumbed sole fillets, boiled potatoes, cauliflower with grated cheese and a cracked white pepper sauce over the fish.

Yesterday I mentioned normal. I found the answer.

I checked…

She’s right! Normal Dry.

Well, that’s one thing I don’t need to worry about; I don’t have a drier.

My jubilation over getting my 1,000th Twitter followers was short lived, last night the count had dipped to 997, but it’s gaining again, 998. Erratic just like the stock market.

Italy’s in the poo again.

Economy shrinking.

Further proof that there isn’t any recovery.

The Euro was a mistake.

Headline news: Chain Saw Massacre actress dies, wow! I don’t even know who she was…

Now that Israel has packed up its play things The world must really look at their illegal blockade of Gaza. Gaza needs to be rebuilt, but Israel bans building materials… what are they? Freakin’ sadists? Egypt is being sued (today’s news) in the African Court for supporting the illegal blockade. I hope it is successful.

The rain has stopped, the sun is out, one should be outside enjoying life… Bugger that, normal people do that. I’m having a nap. Then I am going to repeat yesterday’s lunch theme, cabbage instead of cauliflower.

Later.

 

This is not a face palm

Merely thinking

I haven’t interacted with another member of the species yet today, therefore nothing warrants a face palm.

I am merely thinking.

After some years of Twitting, I finally got 1,000 twits to follow me. Actually, it rather fluid, 999, then 1,000, a boost to 1,002, dropped back to 1,000 thereby threatening my record. It may well be to no avail, I read the other day that Twitter is going to become more FaceBook-like, if that happens… I’m gone!

Yesterday was Sunday, sunny and sodden. I managed to drown a friend’s cellphone when I accidentally kicked the plastic bar table and knocked his energetic drink over it.

How much ‘chasing’ was involved?

US police detain giant tortoise after brief chase… captures the imagination, doesn’t it?

I mean the tortoise was hardly galloping along, now was it?

Or was this really a case of how inept are the LA police?

On what charges was he detained on?

Really, this is headline news.

One thing that has been successfully achieved with Israel’s invasion of Gaza, is the lowering of Israel’s global credibility. All I read about the conflict tells me that governments everywhere have condemned the slaughter, even the USA.

The world is NOT amused. Sympathy for the Palestinians is at an all time high.

Good work Benny!

Image: BBC

Now, it is with some amusement that I read about a Brussel sprout being pushed up a mountain.

This really is headline news.

Never before has some stooped so low in the realms of stupidity as to push a Brussel sprout up a mountain with his nose!

Of course, it had to be an Englishman.

One of my achievements during the weekend was to take a serious photo with my cellphone. Only because I had left the camera at home.

Our hill, taken from the veranda of the botequim

We have a hill in our neighbourhood, that tells the weather better than the forecasters.

The rule is simple, if the top of the hill has cloud, it’s going to rain, or is raining; no cloud, no rain.

It’s a bit like the famous weather stone, ‘if the rock is wet, it’s raining.’

You can tell by the blurry nature of the photo that the cellphone will never become my primary photographic device.

It’s a few minutes shy of midday. Today should have been a supermarket day, or not. I chose the second option. I won’t die of starvation, I have hotdogs and cheese. I could have had fish, if I had remembered to take it out of the freezer.

There was a query in yesterday’s comments about how my coffeepot worked, here my reply for the edification of others who had perhaps wondered. “it’s just a cloth filter, the hard part is lifting the kettle and pouring the water into it. You see there is an element of manual labour involved, that’s why it’s not popular in the First World, but it does make shit hot coffee.”

The latest in technology…

Bacon Chips

With that, I’ll blog along.

Later

Intelligent… you’re kidding!

You’ve read my blog.

You know that would be difficult.

Really, expecting a blogger to say something intelligent.

Mind you, the blogs I read are  cut above Twitter, FaceBook, etc in the intelligent stakes.

*Thinks* Say something intelligent…

I know! Bruschetta. Does that sound intelligent enough? Today at the supermarket I bought a jar of asparagus bruschetta. Imported, therefore correspondingly expensive. Even the girl at the checkout did a double take at the R$14.95 price; then asked me what it was… Fortunately, I was able to display my intelligence and told her.

So tonight, I am looking forward to Provolone cheese, Camembert with bruschetta on toast for supper while I muse at the rights wrongs of the world on the news and drown myself in Sauvignon Blanc.

Life is a bitch!

Another example of my ‘intelligence’. I twittered a tweet yesterday like a real twit. I made a spelling mistake, actually it was an honest typo and I didn’t proof before posting. It was in relation to my dishes ‘seering’ (sic) at me. Now here’s the rub, it has turned out to be my most retweeted tweet. All the world now knows I am a twit and fully qualify to have a Twitter account.

The most expensive set of teeth in history. Not even your Harley Street dentist would be so brazen to charge this much. Suarez, the biter of Italian football player fame, has been sold to Braca for  a whopping £75m; that’s an expensive set of teeth. Liverpool wanted shot of him for obvious reasons. It’s believed that a season’s supply of muzzles were included in the deal as well as team-sized rabies shots to protect the Barca players in the event he takes a liking for Rioja with his players.

The concession stands in the Brazilian stadiums have apologised for over-pricing the popcorn putting it out of reach of Suarez’ pocket, causing him to snack on Italians.

Remember yesterday, I was lamenting the ability for proper rain… Well, I walked to class and stayed dry. During class it rained so hard, I was expecting to see cats and dogs floating in the gutters. Rua Olinda Ellis (the main drag hereabouts) was a river on the drive home. Had I not had a corona (lift) home, I would have been looking for a canoe.

My trip to the supermarket wasn’t without problems. Clorinha decided to follow me out and to the corner where I wait for a van. It began to rain, I had one wet pussy meowing at me; too stupid to go back home in the dry.

Nap time…

Later.

 

I am Doomed!

The dreaded lurgy haunted me most of yesterday until I got to the chemist in the late afternoon; Milk of Magnesia, instant relief and I was able to maintain my dignity through the long lesson. My rating this morning would go about 90%. Drinking black coffee and eating nothing.

Now to the title.

This is not a person who eats red meat

One comment on yesterday’s post suggested I could have IBS and the irritation be caused by some food item. The only food item in common with the two was red meat… I am doomed!

Am I to become a vegetarian? Oh, woe is me!

A fate worse than death itself.

Rabbit food forever.

The prospect of not eating red meat is truly daunting for a confirmed carnivore. But obviously it is something that I am going to have to look into.

Another comment suggested a glass of wine as a cure. I like that idea… lots!

Clorinha is well, no re-occurrences of barfing on the caret. She is growing up and getting more adventurous. Since yesterday she has developed a new trick. Runs into the room, off the floor on to the box, on to the shelf, on to the next box, out the window and on to the old stove in the carport; now that all seems pretty ordinary, but when you consider that she does it all in one fluid movement and the time lapse would be measured in tenths of a second. If there was an Olympic event for window jumping, she’d be a champion in the making.

I will try and get a video of this, but I am not hopeful, because the whole sequence would be over before I pressed the shutter  button and managed to swivel fast enough to follow her.

The Twitter Bulldozer

Twitter is stupid! Everyday I get a banner suggesting I try out the new Twitter profile. I dutifully ignore it.

But each day, there it is again. Surely if Twitter had any semblance of intelligence, it would figure out that I am not interested and stop these infernal popups.

Twitter is the only ‘social media’ that I subscribe to, and if they force the new profile on me, it will be the last. I am sick of the bulldozer tactics of these social media arseholes.

A bargepole; used for keeping things at bay

Up yours Microsoft!

China has banned Windows 8 from ALL government PCs, laptops and tablets. China is 50% dependent on XP, that’s a lot of XP.

China has finally done something right.

Microsoft stopped the support for XP last month, to encourage people to move to later platforms; I don’t care if they dangle a golden carrot in front of me, I wouldn’t touch 7, 8 or 8.1 with a bargepole.

I saw the term ‘super-drunk’ today. I didn’t read the article, but it was in relation to North American native peoples. To me you are either a drinker, a drunk, or an alcoholic. Why invent a new ‘super-drunk’? Oh, I get it now; alcoholics go to meetings, super-drunks don’t…

No recalls that I remember

GM has another recall. What’s with these car makers? Toyota, Nissan, Ford, all have recalls.

Can’t they make the damned things properly in the first place?

I don’t remember Henry Ford ever having a recall.

I think I have about exhausted myself of writer’s blockages.

Just a comment on ‘the dread lurgy’. “The term originates from an episode of the 1950s radio comedy “The Goon Show” in which an epidemic of “The Dreaded Lurgi” was said to be about to sweep across Britain. It turned out that the lurgi was in fact a ficitious disease created by brass instrument makers who had claimed that no brass band player had ever died of the lurgi (thereby increasing sales hugely).

“The Goon Show” was an anarchic and surreal radio comedy series that starred Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe. It was written by Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes.”  Source: Urban Dictionary

I actually remember hearing this episode on the radio.

Time to practice my Nap-fu.

Short attention span. Clorinha was sitting in the window enjoying a lovely petting when a butterfly fluttered across the yard, she was out the window and off in less than a blink.

Later.

 

My Bum’s Wet

One lonely little goiaba

No, no photos…

I was out watering my plants and the split in the hose sent water right up my shorts leg. One day I’ll fix it.

My little goiaba branca (white guava) that I didn’t expect to fruit until next year, has done it. One lonely little goiaba.

I have just picked two off the other tree, so lunch will involve suco de goiaba (guava juice). There, that’s part of the menu fixed. I have just peered into the cavernous depths of my fridge; looks like spring rolls again. Yesterday rolls were actually curried rolls with feijão (black bean) leftovers. I believe in utilising all I have. Today, I’ll fry up a bit of cabbage, grated carrots cooked in garlic and parsley.

The Russian take over of Crimea has caused a crisis in more ways than political.

McDonald’s has closed its three Crimean outlets.

The Crimeans will have to resort to real food.

Not closed for good, unfortunately, rather suspended operations because of instability.

Putin’ it bluntly, Russia is creating a bit of mess.

Turkish High Court has ruled that the prime minister’s Twitter shut down is against the constitution. He is fuming, having avowed to shut social media down, his efforts have been thwarted and he has all the little Twitter birds shitting all over him.

I find it all rather amusing really. As much as I dislike social media generally, the rabid politicians are fighting it in time-honoured methods of suppression. They have got no idea how to use the social media. They ban it, and they simply make a bigger noise that backfires. Today’s politicians are techno-dinosaurs, which is not surprising as their methods are prehistoric.

There is the old adage that bad news travels fast, well today, it travels even faster. When politicians do, as they have always done, run a corrupt system, the shit gets flung further, wider and faster than ever before. And the funny thing is, you can’t stop it.

The transparency that social media brings to politics is good.

Child’s play: A five-year-old in San Diego has found a flaw in X-Box. He was able to log into his father’s account without the password.

His father sent the details to Microsoft and the flaw has now been fixed.

They paid the kid off with $50 (£30), four free games.

Bloody cheapskates. That flaw could have cost them hundreds of thousands in litigation and more in lost product.

Ebola is on the go. Cases reported initially on Guinea, have now popped up in Mali, Liberia and Sierra Leone. This is a very serious situation, how long before the virus appears in Europe or the Americas?

The Americans are now finding out what a horrible little man GWB really was. The Senate has been shocked by the report of torture carried out by the CIA under Bush, and many are crossing the floor to have the report released to the public.

I’ve done it again, missed the news…

Time for lunch.

Later.

 

Fuzzy Duck

Fuzzy Duck

Try saying that fast and repeating it.

This has nothing to do with the post, but I thought it was interesting.

Fuzzy Duck was one of the drinking games that I played as a youth, along with The Pheasant Plucker’s Son and Colonel Huff (to which I have alluded before).

It doesn’t feel like a Saturday, much the same idea as the vague feeling I had about Friday (previous post). I had a dreadful thought in my half awake/half asleep mode during nap time; “is this what it’s like to be retired?” You see we had a ten day break for carnaval, then a week back at work, and this past week all my students have deserted me for one reason or another, so I am having a Tuesday – Monday weekend. Without work I am lost, disorientated, confused, desperate for some meaning in life.

I never want to retire!

My They say it’s in the Genes blog got a WP award; 200 avid followers.

It surprised me because I get few likes nor many comments, but I must be doing something right over there.

A comment yesterday has left me perplexed. Yvonne said that my blog was ‘hypnotic’. I’ve never thought of it that way before, eclectic, yes. Eclectic means you write about any rubbish that happens to be coursing through you mind at the moment you stare at a blank screen. Some people call this inspiration. But Yvonne added a smiley face, so I assume the comment was a positive one, thanks Yvonne.

A beautiful cribbage

Something reminded me of cribbage the other day. I would hazard a guess that there’s many of you think that cribbage is green and grows in the garden and the old fool has made another spelling mistake.

But not; I have not spelled the word wrongly, I am referring to the old card game cribbage.

You don’t hear of people playing ‘crib’ any more.

A crib board for scoring

I used to play it a lot. My parents had friends over once a week for a crib evening.

How many of my younger visitors have seen one of these around the home, or at Granny’s place and wondered “WTF is that?”

Crib was a fascinating game, required a fast alert mind and you had to good at maths. Normally, you counted your scores like 15-2, 15-4 15-6 (because each combination that added to 15 gave you two points) then you scored runs, flushes and straights in an equally archaic manner; and that was after you had played the hand in which you scored similarly. My father didn’t add the scores, he could look at any given hand and just say the total. Such was my father.

Beautiful bird, tastes good, but wrong Turkey

Turkey, no not that one!

The country, the one being run by a turkey.

Image courtesy BBC

Closed Twitter two days ago for the whole country.

Since, by using proxies and SMS, Twitter usage in Turkey has risen by 138%. Doesn’t that send a snub to the prime turkey minister?

Just another example of the old adage, ‘if it’s illegal, immoral or fattening’ people want to do it.

Politicians curtail communication when they are on the verge of shitting their pants, take note China, Vietnam, Venezuela, Turkey and the rest of you. There are too many of you to list fully. These politicians have all got ‘skid marks’ in their underpants.

So I will leave you with my ‘dream chicken’ meme before I head off into the wild blue yonder to discover what wonders the botequim holds…

Later.

Two Things Turn Me Off

I get so annoyed when I get followed by CEOs or see Social Media in a tweet. Nothing will switch me off faster and send me racing for the ‘Delete’ button.

I also get pissed off when someone follows me and I follow back, and then they unfollow.

Humpday, I love Humpday. Downhill all day tomorrow, then my weekend starts of Friday because I don’t have any students on Fris.

I found a wonderful YouTube clip for Humpday. I just have to share it with you. It’s an advert, but who cares when it comes to having a good laugh.

I think that one is just great.

I used to have a bad habit. Every  time I went to the bathroom, I’d turn on the light. The bathroom has a window, but it’s under the shelter of the outside laundry facilities, so it’s not brightly lit and it was just a reaction to flip the light switch.

Over time I have become more conscious of the need to save electricity, and all those little things count, so I have finally kicked the habit. I remember where my penis is, pretty much the same place I left it,  and the toilet is directly in front of me, so it’s not too hard to pee in the half light. If it doesn’t make the right sound, then a minor adjustment is necessary.

If only governments could function as simply, mind you half of them don’t know where their dicks are; they know where the wallet is though.

Speaking of pee, Cloro is into day five and no wet patches on the sofa cover. Yay! Maybe his little pink nose has got the message.

Haha, Humpday, my afternoon student just canceled. I may get to the supermarket yet. The highlight of my day. Although, I am about as enthused as a zombie. Despite three coffees, I am just going through the motions. I think a nap is in order, I’ll see how long it takes Cloro from asleep on the printer to helping me do the snooze.

Later.

 

Just an Excuse

Friday 13th is just an excuse to lumber us with two Mondays in the one week. It’s a dastardly plan, one at each end. You suffer Monday, survive the rest of the week, slide down Humpday just to get back to Monday, its a cruel joke.

Yesterday, Fri 13th, was definitely a Monday. My trip to visit The Door was badly planned. I had not given any thought to this damned Rock in Rio and the access roads, which also happen to be main arterial routes, being closed. The traffic was mayhem.

Got my pay, eventually and went shopping. Found a bottle of Benedictine, of which I am partial, after I had already selected my customary two bottles of wine. Nearly choked on the price, R$134, that’s equal to five bottles of my normal wine price range. But such a rarity here that I couldn’t resist. Temptation is a terrible mistress.

I’ll be making a B&B later. Brandy and Benedictine, love the stuff.

Last night I was walking past the cocktail cabinet with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and ice, when I spied my bottle of Frangelico, couldn’t help but splosh in a generous measure. Quite pleasant, a new cocktail is born – The Orange Monk.

Cloro has pregressed… yes, from cockroaches to dragonflies. One flew into the house last night creating a terrible racket around the light. This was not missed by the ever-alert Cloro who was immediately transported to an intense state of the curious. For an hour his cute little head jerked to and fro following this strange apparition, until it flew too low, and that was the end of the story; one waggle of the feline hunter buttocks, pounce. I was lucky that he didn’t want to take it to bed, instead we slept together on the inner roll of the toilet paper. I don’t think I have ever done that before, it certainly wasn’t on my bucket-list.

Not Amora, but there wasn’t a Blueberry image

Throughout my life I have heard of the American passion for blueberries, jams, pies and the like. Last week searching the supermarket shelves for marmalade, I saw a jar of blueberry jam. Must try, said I.

The price was high, but one must splash out on little luxuries occasionally. R$10…

I must say, I wasn’t impressed. I’ve had it on toast twice now and would have preferred amora (blackberries) or black currant.

I won’t be rushing to buy it again; this is a oncer.

I am not impressed by Twitter’s latest move to be listed on the stock exchange. It piques me to think that other people will get financial benefits of the gullible Twits. I am seriously thinking of chucking it in. I have to get my head around it before making a decision. For me the internet is more of a hobby, and to think that other rich bastards are going to get richer on MY hobby more than miffs me.

Hot day promised, 34°C (94°F), I think that beer will be the order of the day.

Off to put more in the fridge.

Later.