Tag Archive: underpants


To Scale a Mountain

No, not Mt Everest

No, not Mt Everest

Yes, I have to scale a mountain.

No, it’s not a Mt Everest type mountain, I am referring to the pile of dishes that is htaunting me from the kitchen sink.

Had BBQ, was delicious.

I am going to delicious again today with the leftovers. But I have to conquer Mt Dishes first.

I was going to take a photo, but I decided I was too ashamed to let you see the devastation.

A comment yesterday, gave me something to think about. Sean expressed a level of envy at my lifestyle. I had never thought about that before. I had always considered that my lifestyle was rather mundane, soaked in wine, but ordinary. That someone could be jealous, never occurred to me. Perhaps, my eleven years travelling around South America and having all sorts of adventures, could make some jealous. But the tedium of beer, BBQ and dishes… nah!

It’s going to be another tedious day.

Cloudy, but not the rainy sort of cloudy, just the type of cloudy that takes the heat out of the sun type cloudy.

I am behind in replying to comments, again. I’ll have to get on with them after this post. It beats doing the dishes for another 10 minutes.

I saw this the other day…

dehydratedwater

Then I saw this…

Instant-Underpants_o_50618

Really makes me wonder what is happening on this planet.

And then some idiot did this…

giantgag.com-funny-it-said-put-it-in-the-oven-at-120-degrees-01

And now we have…

gaybacon

Well, I hope you had a laugh, it’s good for body and soul.

Later.

 

Tiradentes

Today is another holiday in Brazil…

This time, Tiradentes.

Tiradentes on the 5 centavo coin

Tiradentes on the 5 centavo coin

Joaquim José da Silva Xavier, was a leading member of the Brazilian revolutionary movement whose aim was full independence from the Portuguese colonial power and to create a Brazilian republic. When the plan was discovered, Tiradentes was arrested, tried and publicly hanged on 21 April 1792. Since the 19th century he has been considered a national hero of Brazil. Tiradentes means “tooth puller”, a reference to his practicing dentistry, amongst other things.

So we all get another day off, and another dollar poorer.

I should add supermarket

I think I need to bring out my To-Do list again.

Yes, I really need to go to the supermarket.

My vege basket is empty, my fruit basket is empty, my bread basket is empty and the fridge is empty.

Oh, it’s got water and beer…

Clorinha has figured out that tasty yummies (mincemeat) is kept in the fridge, so now every time I open the fridge, a little white kitten magically appears from nowhere. Now Clorinha is learning that every time I open the fridge doesn’t mean food for the kitty. One of life’s tough lessons.

Clorinha is exhausted and asleep on the sofa. She’s had her morning ‘bedlam’ racing through the house dragging yesterday’s underpants along the way. They’ve been in the kitchen, in the living room, under the bed, outside, inside, and they’ve come to rest on the coffee table looking rather dusty and bedraggled.

Interesting erroneous comment from David Cameron, “Britain as a Christian country…” Apparently, he’s wrong again. There are more non-Christians and non-believers in Britain than Christians according to statistics. So much for God, the Queen and the country.

So, I had better do some water-splashing so I don’t smell to bad, and head off to the supermarket.

Later.

I Put my Pants On

I look nothing like this when I am blogging

I look nothing like this when I am blogging

Men get a bad rap. They are known to blog in the underpants.

I am here today to justify that bad rap. I blog in my underpants.

Probably a lot of women are equally guilty of blogging in their knickers, with or without bra.

I am at home alone, I roll out of bed in the morning, I am comfortable as I am; in my underpants. The only detracting side of this is when I splash hot water while making that all essential first morning coffee. Cloro doesn’t mind, although she sometimes looks at me as though to say “OMG, put some fur on!”

I have also been known to go out into the yard dressed like that. I can’t be seen from the road, unless you’re a pervert peeking through the crack in the gate; nor seen by the neighbours unless they are on their roof, read perverts again.

But this morning, I was out in the yard for some time, and I felt a little more secure in more than just my underpants. I had to water the plants, they were gasping in this heat. Yesterday was 37°C and the forecast today is for 40°C (106°F) with low humidity.

Last night I had some delicious sandwiches. I shaved some pork of the left over BBQ leg chop and put the shavings in some bread, a little pepper and salt… The rest is history.

Lunch today will be an exciting affair, leftover spaghetti bolognaise, somehow it always tastes better as a leftover.

A downer…

Sunday night, I resolved, after much procrastination (years of it) to complete a book that I am writing. I started the book in 2003, and have added to it little by little. The book is on advanced advanced English grammar *puts on Grammar Police Cap*, I have reached the 254 page mark, with about another 20+/- pages to be added.

Part of the procrastination was through losing the file on a shitty hard drive, then recovering it on another shitty hard drive, then recovering it again, on pendrive, and two more hard drives, to ensure that I don’t lose it again.

I decided to print off a hard copy of the book for proof reading. I can’t successfully proof read on the screen, I have to have the paper in front of me. Got to page 41, and and Wah! The black cartridge gave out. More procrastination while I get the cartridge refilled. Plans are to do that when I pay the rent tomorrow.

That’s it for today, other than to say, I want a Beamer like this one…

funny-German-car-beerLater.

Just for your information…

I use charcoal, gas doesn't do it for me

I use charcoal, gas doesn’t do it for me

It’s Sunday!

Sunday is a day of leisure, I have posted on all blogs and I am about to leisure.

Leisuring involves charcoal, meat and beer.

Being as some people think of Sunday as the day of the Lord, I will not mention the ‘P’ word, nor the ‘T’ word out of deference.

Basically, I am using yesterday’s leftovers, except the beer, that will be fresh.

I must go for some therapy first, a trip to the supermarket is in order. I have been promising that to myself since Friday.

I see the USA and Israel have not paid their UNESCO dues and have been suspended. All because the organisation recognised Palestine. Fine, F*&k off then! We don’t need your shit! In fact, we’re better off without you.

In relation to the above, I apologise to the nice Americans out there, I do recognise that not all Americans are tarred with the same brush as your politicians. Politicians (world, not just US) should be made a notifiable disease and duly quarantined. The world would be a better place.

The laundry lady is nearly done, must change. They don’t like old men in their underpants wandering through the supermarket; it scares the bakery girls.

Later.

Oh, it’s finally happened. The worries over the possible extinction of African lions have been solved.

Tourists are now only treated to coin operated models on safari.

coinoperatedlions

No! And don’t ask me what he was doing in the original photo; I don’t want to even think about that! All I know is that I wouldn’t do it.

Unsupported

These may have a hole, but they still offer support

These may have a hole, but they still offer support

This morning as I changed put on my underpants, I had a decidedly uncomfortable feeling. The gusset in my clean underpants had finally given up the ghost, leaving me without the normal feeling of support.

This is a weird sensation, one that women will never know; a man needs his support.

Speaking of which, I read yesterday in The Press that there are a new fangled type of underpants, I believe for both men and women; they filter your farts. Yes, a miracle carbon filter removes the smell from your farts. This is a social menace, how will people know if you farted if they can’t smell it? Farts are designed to smell, it’s for the benefit of deaf people, they smell for a reason.

I have always taken a philosophical view of farts. I have never been ashamed of my flatulence, and always admit when I have farted; simply because I want people to know that I don’t always smell like this.

Yesterday, I was visited by the bastard bot from Canada again, my blog got an erroneous 1,700 odd hits. Geez, I hate that, it stuffs up my stats something shocking.

I have been following an irreverent blog called Hot Lard for the past few weeks, but the blogger decided it was taking too much of his time, and closed it to open a newer less time consuming blog called ‘nergfoogle‘ so if you have been nergfoogled today, go and check it out.

*yawn*

I do feel a nap coming on…

Later.

Change

Civet Shit Coffee

Civet Shit Coffee

Not only the prerogative of Obama.

My socks get holes, I change them.

My underpants lose their elastic, I change them.

My coffee gets too damned expensive, I change it.

I am not talking about fancy civet shit coffee, that costs oodles; I am talking about a good Brazilian coffee.

R$6/500gms

R$6/500gms

I have always preferred Pilão, but over the last four years that has slowly increased in price and arrived at R$8/500gms (US$4/1lb+ or -). That may not be expensive from your perspective, but it is here. One supermarket has it at R$10. I have taken to lesser brands, Caanan and Bom Dia, but now they too have reached the nearly R$8 mark. I wait in hope for specials on all these brands, in the meantime, I am trying Sul de Minas, which is R$6 at the normal price.

It was recommended to me, but after two days, I find it is weaker than the others; requireing 6 heaped spoons as opposed to 5, which in turn means instead of 8 servings from a packet, I get 6.8… So is it cheaper?

Life is so fraught with problems.

neymar

21 years old with 4 years big time football already

Brazil has lost an up and coming footballer to the professionalism of European soccer. Neymar has been signed up with Barcelona.

Last team Santos whose performance will suffer without him.

So Santos is Neymarless.

Neymar, abilities recognised and documented as a kid

Neymar, abilities recognised and documented as a kid

Rained most of the day, Lixo arrives to eat, sleep, then off he goes meowing for his latest flame.

Between rains, I wandered to the gate to see what was happening in the world. I watched a pigeon having an opportune drink from a puddle in the street.

It struck me how similar pigeons are to humans.

Here was this girl having a quiet drink at the pigeon bar while a healthy young male was determined to have his wicked way with her.

Isn’t that just like a human; pestering a girl alone at the bar.

pigeondrinking

While I was searching for a pigeon piccy, I found the nicest pigeon photo I have ever seen.

Impressive

Impressive

I am not a pigeon fancier, but I took a fancy to that photo, impressive.

That’s it, making like the pigeons and flocking off…

Later.

I had great plans

beermoneyjarBut the chances of realising them in the remaining 15 minutes is remote.

I must go to work.

No work, no beer money!

I am still sitting here in my shorts, the only reason I have shorts on is because I had to go next door to the botequim (they object to me wearing just my underpants in the bar) to borrow the ladder to change the light bulb or face my second night in darkness.

I really must rattle my dags.

Later

The Road to Success

roadsuccesscoffeeWell, if that’s true…

I am doomed to very successful!

60+ years and waiting…

With what does one measure success?

Money?

Happiness?

Other?

For me it’s happiness. I am successful.

Oh sure I have had my ups and downs in life, but generally I’d have to say I have been successful.

I mean take this morning for example, breakfast was a success, I am a happy camper. I had a Muffuletta for breakfast.

Muffuletta - something like this

Muffuletta – something like this

Oh, you’ve never had a Muffuletta?

Well, it’s supposed to be a sesame bun, it’s a famous dish from Sicily, and was taken to New Orleans by Italian immigrants, but otherwise unknown outside of there.

“The muffuletta is the quintessential New Orleans sandwich of cured meats, cheese and tangy olive salad piled onto a sturdy Italian loaf. Emeril Lagasse’s delicious muffuletta is packed with briny olives and pickled vegetables.”Food & Wine

I didn’t have any fancy bread buns, but I had some left-over hamburger buns; beggars can’t be choosers. I cut it in three, makes for easier stacking with whatever I find in the fridge. This morning I found: cold pork chop, ham, leftover chicken with mustard sauce, bacon, lettuce, pickled beetroot, olives, brie, mustard and balsamic salad dressing. Couldn’t go wrong!

The rain stopped, and I got to work dry last night. Then I went out for pizza

This morning the rain has continued stopped, the sun is shining and there is a passarinho (little bird of unknown specie) chirping insanely in my yard.

Brazilian kids generally don’t know the names of bird species, it’s a failing in Brazilian society and the education system. To them, all little birds are passarinhos. When I was a kid, we knew all the names of the birds that frequented our yard; thrushes, blackbirds, sparrows, goldfinches, magpies, etc. But ask a Brazilian kid what type of bird is that…. “É um passarinho” (It’s a little bird). In this case, I do not know the name of the specie, but it is the same as Raimundo (owner of the botequim nextdoor) has in a cage and as I am still in my underpants, I am not about to race nextdoor to ask. Please do not attempt the visual!

Apart from blogging, which I have almost completed for the day, I have nothing planned, so again I suspect I will be successful. Whenever I mention to Raimundo that I have nothing planned, he always asks me if I need some help.

Today, I think I will go and help him. He has beer that needs drinking…

beerthirty

Later.

Side Tracked

adogpeewaterbowlThat’s why I didn’t post yesterday.

I found a new meme.

A philosophical Labrador.

It cost me almost the entire afternoon, but then you understand, dear blogger, how easy it is to get sidetracked.

I post Foul Bachelor Frog on my Nether Region each Tuesday, and Philosoraptor on my Genes on a Phriday; I’m wondering where I can post the Dog Philosopher.

The Pope has all but gone, bombs are going off everywhere, asteroids and meteors have been causing havoc, the Moonies have had a mass wedding of thousands… how utterly absurd. The world is in bad shape.

Me? I am well coffeed this morning, I have posted on all my blogs. I am still worried about the drastic fall in visitors since 26th Jan, something happened/is happening. New visitors just don’t stop for no reason, and when I say drastic fall, I mean drastic. My five best blogs visitors have fallen to 20%. Fizz and Nether Region were getting nearly 200 hits daily, now struggling to get 40. The fall happened overnight. Something changed, it’s almost like my blogs have fallen off the blogosphere. After my experience with Google, my faith in the blogosphere’s impartiality was not left entirely intact. Yes, I’m a cynical suspicious bastard.

Having said that, I thank all my regular visitors for their loyalty and regular Likes and Comments, I appreciate it all immensely.

We have returned to hot hot weather. Yesterday, my private students came for their class 12:00 – 14:00 (that’s noon – 2pm for our American cousins who only have watches that go to 12); we got a bar table and sat in the shade of leafy tree in the park. My head, remember my hair colour is ‘bald’, got sunburnt. It was quite tender and delayed any previous thoughts of a hair cut. So I remain hairy.

I am seriously considering another ‘dead cow’ experience. I have pig parts in the freezer, but lunchtime is not the ideal time to think about thawing them out. The other problem that I am faced with is that both my pairs of shorts have just been washed and are wet on the clothesline. It’s too hot to wear jeans; and while it’s acceptable to wander around the house in my underpants, I imagine a classy restaurant would take a dim view.

Later.

Aarrggh! Monday was a day late!

Here I was crowing about yesterday and how nothing had gone wrong.

All the crap happened today!

First, I almost slept through the alarm.

Then, I got my teeth out of the glass that I had been keeping my cracked black peppercorn in. Boy did that make the first coffee taste weird…

Then, after four posts, the net went down. When it came back on, it was time to leave for work and I was still sitting in my underwear and socks. Panic! Jeans, shoes and it was only then I had discovered that I had put my underpants on backwards; too late to change now.

Flew out of the house, locked the gate. Unlocked the gate and flew back into the house, grabbed the envelope I was to deliver and flew back out of the house again.

A fast hobble to where my student normally picks me up for my lift to work. Gaze around hopefully, up the street, down the street. No student. Wait patiently. By this time it was too late. Ring student; no answer. Shrug shoulders and return home at a more leisurely pace. Discover that the ‘post-it’ note on the envelope had come off in the wind. It was an important message of sincere thanks, so back down the street, found it, stuck it back on under the flap.

At home and the safety of coffee, turned my underpants around. Have you any idea what it’s like walking down the street with your underpants on backwards? Let’s just use the adverb-adjective combination, really weird.

Comfortably reading the BBC news; and all goes dark. Power cut! Waited patiently for a few moments hoping it would come back on. Nope! Out onto the street. Reimundo the owner of the botequim was there. Only to be informed that the power would be out until 5pm… Aargghh! There was apparently supposed to be a note left in my letter box about this. Not, neither my other neighbour. They were doing a major maintenance and connecting the power to a new condominio (huge block of apartments) down the road.

So I faced the prospect of a day without power. No net, no PC, no TV, no light (it was dim and overcast and dark in the house). I began to have withdrawal symptoms; I tried more coffee, didn’t work. I began to shake and tremble, babando (dribbling); what could I do?

I changed the room around a little, to accommodate the printer that I had planned to set up today, I potted some plants, I did the dishes, I made more coffee and had bacon and eggs for breakfast… at lunch time.

I had a nap, woke up tired and listless, I went to the botequim, chatted with some of the locals and drank more coffee. I forgot to buy cigarettes. The power came on, first thing on was the PC. Went to the botequim to get my smokes while the beast powered up.

Reimundo gave me the wrong smokes, the ones that caused impotence, I asked for ones that gave me ordinary cancer.

Back home, emails, comments, and finally this post.

The world was back to normal.

Later.

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