Tag Archive: vaginas


Não fui eu!

Messers Grant and Ballantine's sons

Messers Grant and Ballantine’s sons

“I didnt do it!”

At least not this time.

…I started this post a few moments before the Nap-fu fairies took control; and in my dreams I had a wondrous post to offer, but then I woke but a few moments ago and it’s all gone.

I am blaming the son’s of Mrs Grant and Mrs Ballantine, for had it not been for them… I wouldn’t have needed coffee at 5pm.

Back track…

Noon, blogged a little, woke from Nap-fu. I went to the botequim after a cheese sandwich (fridge is empty). There was some idle chatter and the idea of a BBQ was mooted.

Of course, this appealed to me, admitting that I was duro (broke). Carlinhos (Little Charles) appeared with a bag of charcoal and thrust it in my lap… what was I to do? Of course, I made ready the weapon of choice, the churrasceira (BBQ).

Before he returned, Edlúcio (don’t ask me to explain Brazilian names) arrived with a bag; which was just as well because Carlinhos returned with not meat. The why, I never asked.

Edlúcio proceeded to take over the BBQ, and I produced a bottle of Ballantines, sauerkraut, and ice and soon meat was rolling of the BBQ. It was a change to be BBQed for and not be the BBQer.

Brazilians really are an uncultered lot. They had no idea that sauerkraut (pickled cabbage) existed.

I did learn something. I have always acclaimed that if you don’t learn at least one new thing, the day is wasted. One of the things that Edlucio had was liguiça caseira (homemade sausages) on a stick. I learned that this was a mixture of mincemeat, minced bacon, herbs, onion and mint. Well, talk about delicious…

My half bottle of Ballantine’s was reduced to dribble, Ricardo, who had been given a bottle of Grant’s by another fregües (regular) replaced the gap on the table.

End of the story.

I was sorely in need of another Nap-fu preactice; from which I have just woken.

My eyes feel like sandpaper, the coffee is helping. It really is a wonder drug.

During the course of things. It was demanded that I produce my Father Christmas hat; which was already in the drawer after the weekend to await another Christmas.

I am glad that I succumbed to the demands. Because Sofie would never have met Father Christmas if I hadn’t. Hopefully I will have a photo of this encounter tomorrow, at present it’s on Carlinhos’s tablet.

The title, Não fui eu! was learned fom my Portuguese kids, it means, ‘It wasn’t me!’, that along with Sei lá (Who knows) were learned being the stepfather to Ellen Suelen and Branco (Erick) as being the standard responses to any question involving responsibility for some nefarious act.

vaginacanoeSilly Box: “A Japanese woman who makes art based on her vagina is charged with obscenity” – BBCNews I added the link in case you have an interest in vaginas. This woman has even made a canoe based on her vagina. Imagine rowing down the river in a vagina, there’s food for thought. Personally, I think vaginas are rather beautiful, to consider them obscene is in itself obsecene. Everybody loves orchids… orchids are nothing more than a flower’s vagina. We decorate our homes with vaginas, we get married surrounded with vaginas, when we get buried and they throw vaginas on the coffin; but when a woman exposes her vagina,,, it suddenly becomes obscene. Talk about double standards.

I haven’t looked further for silly stories or news.

The noise from the botequim is beckoning.

Later.

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Interesting…

bowels

My bowels probably look like this, although pickled with age and alcohol

Fourteen bloggers liked my bowels yesterday.

Here’s a better look ——->

It surprises me the strange things that bloggers like.

That’s a lot of tripe.

I posted the rest of the photos gleaned from the bowels of my camera this morning on Eco-Crap post.

I still lack something to write about, although an article about a Japanese “vagina artist” made interesting reading.

She been arrested for posting 3D-printing information that would allow readers to produce a canoe in the shape of her vagina.

She espouses a view that I have long held about genitalia.

“To me, my vagina is like my arms and legs. It’s nothing obscene.” I hold a similar view about penises, as I don’t have a vagina.

Megumi Igarashi's canoe

Megumi Igarashi’s canoe

An interesting concept.

You can read more on: BBCNews

red-wine-glass-lgnCould red wine BOOST your memory?

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It must be true because I NEVER forget to have a glass of wine!

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This will be a theory that I will be testing during and after lunch today.

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No classes, so no restrictions like no alcohol.

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I read about paradise last night. Yes, there is a place in the civilised world that doesn’t have ‘no smoking’ laws. A place where you sit next to your pint and puff away.

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The trouble is that it’s rather hard to get to.  No planes, a once a month boat from  South Africa via Ascension Is, and it’s expensive to get there.

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Tristan da CunhamapabuenoThe island of St Helena in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

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Second most remote place on Earth to the Island of Tristan da Cunha, which is further south.

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So, if you want to get away from it all… in fact if you want to get away from everything, you now know where to go.

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And if you live on St Helena, where do you take your vacation?  Why, you drive the 15 miles around the island.

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New emergency data laws in Britain look likely to be passed. 49 MPs voted sensibly against them while 436 arseholes voted in favour.

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Well, having taken the post from vaginas to arseholes, not a great distance anatomically speaking, I feel as though I have done my bit for the day.

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Lunch time! It’s wine o’clock. Time to test the theory.

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Later.

 

The bastards, the bloody bastards!

Sorry, I’m going to start of with a real bitch this morning.

These two girls face having their vaginas and clitorises brutally cut out without anaesthetic

Remember the story I have been following of the Nigerian woman and her two daughters being deported?

Well, the bastards did it!

She was deported yesterday back to Nigeria where her daughters will almost  certainly be made to undergo FGM. The reason she escaped Nigeria in the first place was because her step-mother had already threatened that the older girl should be ‘cut’.

If these girls are ‘cut’, ALL those responsible for this horrific decision from the Home Secretary down should be prosecuted under British law for aiding and abetting FGM. Then publicly castrated! Although the Home Secretary doesn’t have any balls in whatever sense of the phrase.

I am bloody disgusted!

This woman came to a ‘civilised’ country for refuge, and she was thrown back to the wolves, ‘civilised’ I use that term loosely.

All those involved in the decision have broken British law against FGM.

Next bitch…

NSA have been collecting your photos off social media sites to assist with facial recognition.

Next bitch…

I read of a charity that is raising money to drill a well for water into an aquifer. This is the current problem in the world, we are using non-renewable water. Aquifers are the back-up for the river and lake water we are already using; they take hundreds of years to replenish. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for a very long time.

Next bitch…

Britain is having a problem with extremism in culturally based schools; 21 Islamic schools are under investigation.

Cultural schools should be banned. If you choose to live in another country, then you abide by the education system in that country. Segregation of boys and girls in the classroom, with the girls being made to sit at the back, is not acceptable.

Next bitch…

Sprinkles, an emergency. Images from BBC News

How stupid can you get? A woman in Britain dialed 999 because the icecream man put sprinkles on one side, but not on the other side of her icecream.

No more bitches, at the moment.

Really the world is going nuts!

Lovely cool sunny day out there, no classes. I may just go to the supermarket, not because I am out of food, but just for the excursion.

No more misplaced poops, but a little chunder on the carpet. It was a cold night, Clorinha found the warmest spot in the house and slept on top of me for the night.

Need more coffee, then it’s blogging right along.

Later.

KFC

Not this KFC

Not this KFC

I had a terrible nightmare last night, hence the title. It now means Komputer Fried Citten.

In my nightmare, I dreamed that Clorinha had stuck her nose in the works of my PC, which is always open, and I woke to see her ‘fried’.

I like my PC open, because I am always fiddling and I can see the pretty red light that flashes twinkles in time with the pretty green light on the router and tells me that the internet is fine and dandy. That along with the pretty blue light on the front that bursts into life occasionally, they are so comforting.

But back to the nightmare, I am now aware that it was the harbinger of doom. Later, after my second coffee, I heard a plaintiff ‘mew’ (she’s not big enough to meow yet) I rushed to see what she was mewing about and all I could see was two little paws with claws extended clinging to the window sill. I couldn’t get the door unlocked fast enough and she plopped to the ground, landing between the passion fruit and a pineapple.

Clorinha in bed

Clorinha in bed

I finally got the door open and there she stood, shook her head and appeared none-the-worse for her brief free-fall of a metre and a half (about 4+ feet).

More feline news; Clorinha prefers to sleep on the arm of the sofa. Her daddy, Cloro, was a fan for the bed. When I go to bed she comes in for a quick romp and then jumps down and off to the sofa.

Last night she drew her first blood; cute little claws, but by hell, they hurt. She was sitting on my leg at the PC and slipped off, clutching at anything handy. I’m so glad I had my shorts on… (I wouldn’t have been posting that photo).

myinnerleftthigh

My inner left thigh

My floor is scattered with bits of paper, cotton buds, empty boxes, a handy towel roll centre and pieces of plastic. I daren’t tidy up because Clorinha considers these to be toys. So she’s cheap to entertain.

It’s nigh on lunch time. I have the fish out of the freezer and plan crumbed sole fillets with refried mashed potatoes and a shittake mushroom cream sauce. I also think this merits a white wine. BRB

ConventodaSerravinhobrancoBottle selected, in the freezer for a quick chill. A Convento da Serra white, 2010. It’s a wine from the Alentejo Region in southern Portugal. Reasonable price, R$25 (about $11).

I found some hydrated shittake mushrooms in the supermarket last week. Bit expensive (R$15), but I am so uncontrollable when it comes to novelties, especially such connoisseur items like shittake.

Today is Freeday… my afternoon student canceled yesterday. So I can afford to hit the plonk.

Oh, ‘it’s good to be the king!’ Line stolen from Mel Brooks’ film History of the World Part 1.

I am concerned. I read an article that gave me food for thought. I posted it on They say it’s in the Genes a couple of days ago. Basically it was saying that humans will divide into two subspecies; a squat goblin-like creatures of dim wit, and a taller more intelligent, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative human. It also mentioned that the latter would have larger penises; which prompted one of my readers to post on the matter. One of his concerns was that while we may have larger penises, would our testicles also be enhanced… to not balance the equation, things would appear weird.

Man, historically, has always been consumed with interest about the penis. Ever since they manage to stuff their chubby little hands down the front of their nappies (diapers) men are enamoured by their appendage.

But that as it may, further led me to think on the matter; and this horrible thought sprang to mind. Are we indeed headed for a sexless society?

A lab grown vagina -image: BBC

A lab grown vagina -image: BBC

It is common knowledge that our beloved scientists have managed to grow ears and noses in petri dishes in the laboratory; then I read this morning that they have managed to grow a vagina…

Does the future hold for us to create babies from laboratory manufactured parts and be put together in a similar manner to cars on an assembly line?

Hence doing away with the need for sex and the resulting birth.

Now this might appeal to the more puritan Americans, but I’m not sure it would catch on globally.

To top all this off, I got this pop-up:

you-have-been-online-for-1-year-do-you-wish-to-log-off-and-get-a-life

I’m sorely tempted…

Crazy Cow

Better looking than the crazy cow I was married to

Better looking than the crazy cow I was married to

No, I’m not referring to the ex… (although it could be appropriate)

I am referring to a series of events that led me to a crazy cow. I have just posted on Eco-Crap about buttercups, they are poisonous you know. Which led me to ask myself, why are cows sometimes called ‘Buttercup’. My next thought was ‘crazy cows’, as I was on a search engine page, I typed in crazy cow.

I did not expect this —>

Some days are just full of surprises.

Remember, I warned that the refusal of four European countries to allow Evo Morales’ (Bolivian president) to fly over their airspace because they assumed (probably via the USA) that the current whistleblower was on board, but wasn’t, would have severe ramifications. It has, four South American countries are withdrawing their envoys from the four countries. Imagine if that had happened to Obama’s plane for whatever reason, the USA would have declared war!

There are still sporadic protests around Brazil. Cabral (the Rio de Janeiro governor) really pissed me off yesterday by citing ‘violent’ protestors and protests. None of the protestors or protests have been violent; rather violent elements and vandals have infiltrated the peaceful protests and caused the problems that resulted in police actions. There has even been footage of genuine protestors trying to expel the violent trouble makers from the events, and two filmed instances of them destroying boxes of Molotov cocktails confiscated from the masked infiltrators. Cabral is using the actions of the troublemakers to denigrate the peaceful protests.

Zimmerman was found not guilty. I can’t believe it! While I was not privy to the evidence in full, I found the prosecution raised too many unanswered questions that could not be answered, like no Zimmerman DNA under Trayvon’s fingernails which there would have been if Trayvon had beaten Zimmerman in the manner described; if Zimmerman had had his head beaten on the road has described, where was the blood? It was never found. I am convinced this was a severe miscarriage of justice. I agree that Zimmerman was a ‘wanna be cop’, a psychopath and that he killed Trayvon because he wanted to and he could get away with it, as he ultimately has.

An article in BBC News, more British soldiers have committed suicide since than were killed in Afghanistan…

Texas legislators are still sticking their noses into women’s vaginas where they don’t belong.

Here’s something we should stew on… We need smokers and smoking. The current paradigm is all wrong. If we ban smoking, the population of the world increases. While smoking uses health funds, those funds are less than governments would pay out in pensions of saved lives. As I have said before, the over-population problems is not the number of babies being born, but that less people are dying. Nature had a wonderful balance, once again man is screwing it up.

Lovely sunny Sunday out there, should be beer o’clock soon.

Lunch yesterday was chicken cubes in a white wine cream sauce, with boiled pumpkin, savoury cabbage and mashed potatoes.

Today’s lunch will be leftovers…

It’s 9:30, I should change from my pyjamas to something a little more suitable, I just heard the shutters on the bar go up, so it must be beer o’clock.

 

Bollocks

broken-clock

Dead clock

My wall clock has died.

I am still running on 10:30, and the lunch hour has been and gone.

Rained last night, rain a lot, rained a lot this morning too. The rain leaked through the ceiling and onto my new carpet. I am not amused.

Last night in the rain the net went down for about three hours.

I was in the middle of writing to my brother, who had sent me a copy of Mum’s will. It was hard seeing her signature, knowing that it is probably the last one I’ll ever see.

I have resolved to eat less beef. I discovered that beef has a huge water footprint. See posts here and here on Eco-Crap. But I love my BBQ… I have actually resolved to have beefless weeks each month. So this week, being my first beefless week, the menu is chicken and pork.

missingfileI was looking for a file last night… but couldn’t find it.

Why doesn’t Windows have a warning for this?

Windows is so inefficient.

I would have accepted the wine option.

It’s too late to have my planned lunch, which was to be roast chicken and potatoes. I will go and gaze deeply into my fridge after this post and see what I can rustle up quickly.

I maintain that I learn something new everyday; as indeed I did today…

incredible_animal_facts_06There, that puts a whole new slant on a “threesome”.

My next question is, why?

I’ll have to google that later.

Later, I’m off to peer into my fridge, beats contemplating my navel here thinking about lunch.

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