Tag Archive: walking sticks


I was right… again!

I was brought up on manual gears (stick shift)

I was brought up on manual gears (stick shift)

See, I didn’t mention penises and testicles in yesterday’s post, just small boobs and a happy pussy, and I got less than half the ‘Likes’. What does that say about you?

I should be doing the dishes, but blogging for Halloween and drinking oodles of coffee is much more fun. Lunch presents a problem, however, the tray I want to use for my lasagna is at the bottom of the kitchen sink.

A dilemma!

For me, Halloween is not a part of my culture although I was exposed to it via childhood comics, etc. It was not until I came to South America where American English is taught (Heavens only knows why) that Halloween has been infused into Latin American minds and, as a result, I have had to go with the flow. Also more so with my blogging adventures, I blog about it, but I don’t celebrate it. The only pumpkin you’ll find in my house is in the roasting dish.

So all my blog posts today have a Halloween theme, some blogs even have two posts, so there’s a shit-load of reading/exploring to do.

Cool day today, tried to rain, but it was a pitiful attempt, hardly wet the garden. One class this evening, then it’s weekend; a great way to start the month.

These are penises

These are penises

Now to guarantee that I get a few more ‘Likes’, I am going to mention penises and testicles.

Yes, those walking sticks are bulls’ pizzles.

I might add that mine is a wooden one; I have never been one to display my pizzle in public. Besides the police get all funny when men do that.

To elucidate further, these are also bulls’ pizzles, think about that when you are buying chew bars for Fido.

These are also penises

These are also penises

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Some of you are handling bulls’ pizzles on a daily basis.

Oh, and they can be cooked as well…

Not limited to bulls’ pizzles, but also those of pigs and deer.

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Bull pizzle soup

Bull pizzle soup

Tomorrow’s installment will be on testicles…. still striving for ‘Likes’.

Later, it’s lunch time.

And so it came to pass…

learnbuttonI have always maintained that a day in which I learn nothing new, is indeed a day wasted. It’s a sort of philosophical thingy of mine.

Today I learned something new. I’m not actually sure that I wanted to learn this particular aspect of human behaviour; but there you go, once you learn something, you can’t ‘unlearn’ it.

It is, therefore, with some trepidation that I am going to share this perplexing puzzling strange weird perverse (I’ll find the right adjective in a moment, I’m getting close). Actually this stopped me dead in my tracks. I was about to get coffee, and nothing, but nothing can deter me from the singlemindedness of this task, but this did. My coffee mug remains empty beside me, this gives you an understanding of the gravity of the situation.

I am talking about ‘sneaky nuts’…

What’s that? You may well ask. I stumbled on it because I read in The Guardian of an Australian (had to be) politician who was censored because he ‘Liked’ a sneaky nuts prank on FaceBook. This piqued my interest. I was still in peanut, cashew nut, almond mode being totally innocent in this affair.

When I googled ‘sneaky nuts’ was stunned being presented with images like this…

sneakynuts

Apparently ‘sneaky nuts’ involves exposing one or both of ones testicles in a photograph; popping a nut, so to speak.

Why would anyone do this?

all-canesI mean the human gonads are nothing remarkable in the world of nature. I mean take a bull, for example, now there’s a mean set of gonads, and the pizzle is big enough to make walking sticks out of, or a mean looking Warrant Officer’s swagger stick.

The human pizzle is more of a frizzle in comparison.

Even the humble pig sports a pair worth showing off.

Now if you had a pair like this, you’d be justifiably proud to pop a nut for a photo.

pignutsSo you can appreciate that the human male doesn’t have much to show by comparison.

Having said all that, I will apologise to all those of a sensitive disposition and the religiously disturbed. I realise that not everybody wants to be confronted with a discussion on testicles first thing on a Friday morning.

Let’s move along, shall we? <—— Rhetorical question

My coffee cup overfloweth…

Yesterday I went shopping. It was my plan to buy an extra set of speakers and a mouse for my Think Pad to leave at work thereby negating the necessity of taking everything with me to work.

That part of the day was a success.

My next plan was to have lunch, no not Brazeiro, that gets a little expensive all the time. In order to get from the ‘puter place’ to the desired restaurant I had to pass a furniture shop which I often check because they have specials at times. Indeed, yesterday they did.

kidneytableI had thought of buying a decent coffee table, you see the one I have was salvaged from the trash. It was one of those called kidney shaped, well that was what my dear departed mother called it; we had one when I was a kid. Totally useless because they don’t really fit anywhere. But four years ago when I found it, beggars can’t be choosers.

I had seriously considered one of the same suite as the shelves that i have just bought, but the price tag was R$350. I was pleasantly surprise to see an oblong coffee table ‘pague e leve’ (pay and take it) for R$99. I went and had lunch, but this idea niggled at me all through a good meal. After lunch, I went back to the shop.

A discussion, can’t buy anything without a discussion in Brazil. If I was to buy the table, could they deliver it across the road to the taxi stand? A reasonable request, I thought, brandishing my walking stick to justify that I needed assistance.

mesa de centro artely masterThe answer… “No! Not allowed to.” Which after some haggling became “Well, for R$20.” I couldn’t believe it! R$20 to walk across the road! Bloody unbelievable, I entered tantrum mode (I’m 60+ but I still remember how to throw a tantrum). The nice man took it across the road to the taxi stand, just to get me out of the shop, I was becoming an embarrassment. See, tantrums work.

Remember that when your rugrat throws one next time.

So the afternoon was spent assembling and admiring my new coffee table.

I now have one of these in my living room. *satisfied grin*

My set of tower shelves has just arrived. They will come and assemble it tomorrow.

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