Normally

Who’s to say what’s normal, and what’s not?

There I go, off on my tangent again. That’s not how I meant to start this post.

*gets off tangent*

Normally I am up around six.

But this morning I made several false starts, midnight, 1:30am. 3am, 4:30am. I finally decide it was breakfast time around six, and that I should stay up.

After the first coffee of the day, I read the news.

After the second, I read the comments left over night and replied.

After the third, I visited the blogs of those who liked and commented.

After the fourth, I started to post and managed seven…

On the fifth coffee he rested. Couldn’t do much else, the coffeepot was empty.

Poos & Wees! My newer new mouse, the third in a week, has begun to double squeak click. Back to the shop, but not today, it’s raining… hard. I’ll just click lighter, or mark and use the delete button.

If I visualised my day, I’d be ready for straight jacket and tie

I saw an info graphic this morning. I was about getting up so you can make the most of the day. I got as far as “Visualise your Day!”

Hell, if I visualised my day, I’d roll straight over and go back to sleep! Talk about scary ideas.

While I may not be normal, I’m not yet ready for a straight jacket.

*Pondering* Gives a whole new meaning to ‘jacket and tie’ parties, doesn’t it?

*Looks into the cavernous depths of the coffee mug* As we often say in Portuguese, “Foi” (went) meaning, I’m gone!

Clorinha has got the rainy day sussed, she’s asleep on my clean washing on the sofa.

Well, I supposed that saves me doing the ironing.

So many people use ‘advice’ columns to handle trysts and affairs. “My boy friend wants to come back!” What a stupid question. You left him, or he you for a reason, answer, “NO!” If you can’t figure that out, maybe you should stop dating.

If people can’t figure out their problems it points to bad parenting.

People are so unprepared for life.

I have never sought such advice on such matters. I have joined a dating agency, I have no place for that crap in my life. I make decisions, some good some not so good, I live with the consequences of fix them.

Oh, and don’t get me started on shit like Oprah Winfrey… I’ll get back on my tangent! You don’t want that…

Benny is pulling his insidious toys out of the Gaza sandpit, he doesn’t want to play any more nasty games. Probably because the global playmates are getting ready to bully him! And, so they should!

I just yawned, and nearly blacked out. I think it’s time for Nap-fu practice.

Later.

It’s the Coffee that does it

Devilish good looks

I have always been convinced that it is the coffee that is responsible for my devilish good looks.

Why?

Because I drink so much, and I am so devilishly handsome.

Coffee is not a drug as claimed by some, it is a cup of liquid sanity.

I am stress free, I don’t panic easily; except perhaps when the bule (coffeepot) is empty, then I’m likely to fly off the proverbial handle and run around the kitchen in a blind dither.

Yesterday was a lovely sunny day until late in the afternoon, then it clouded over. Today is promising to be the same after a freezing bitch of a night; the temp dropped to 12ºC. Remember we think 20 is cold, imagine how we felt at 12….

Argentina is bankrupt, again.  They’re squealing that it’s not bankruptcy, because they have the money but the US court won’t let them pay it, unless they pay everybody. The trouble is that the majority of bondholders have accepted a lesser value for their bonds with a few hold outs that want what is due. Krissy Kirchner calls these companies vultures; and won’t pay them for fear that the majority will then claim the full amount too. That would really bankrupt the country.

I’m posting a leaf, not for your benefit, it’s for MWPG to identify.

We think it’s a beefsteak tree…

But she wanted a better photo of the leaf to confirm, hope this one is okay.

I am having mouse problems.

No, not Clorinha’s fault this time. To solve this mouse problem she would need opposable thumbs.

I bought two mice. (Musing… If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn’t the plural of house, hice?) These are Chinese mice.

Chinese Leadership, doesn’t work. Ain’t that the truth?

When I got home I connected one.

Fine worked… for the first four days; then began to have clickability problems.

Finally, I changed it this morning. The next one didn’t have clickability problems. It didn’t even freakin’ well click, period; in fact it didn’t even register on the PC.

Change back to the one with clickability problems.

This was all pre-Coffee, the water was still boiling and I was running around the kitchen in a blind dither.

Why do the Chinese produce so much crap?

Yes, it’s everywhere. You can’t escape it, it’s pervasive.

Fish for lunch… *rushes off to take fish out of the freezer*

The fish is now out of the freezer.

Battered, poached or baked, that is question. Whether ’tis nobler in the kitchen to cook and suffer.  The pots and pans of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of  culinary treats… with apologies to William Shakespeare.

There I go; off on my tangent again.

Must get off my tangent and blog along.

Later.

My Wheelie Weally Works

Remember yesterday I had problems with the wheelie thingy on my new mouse, well a reboot solved the problem; the vagaries of PCs. Any way it remembered how to scroll.

The good news, I survived another Monday.

Andrew commented that Clorinha looked like she was “trying to hug the mouse to death.” Maybe training aids aren’t the way to go. I might add that mouse was already dead and Clorinha was just doing what cats do; maybe she instinctively knew it was a dead mouse.

There is also the horrifying thought that she might try to kill the mouse attached to the PC.

Not a lot has happened so far this morning.

I made the coffee, does that count?

Lunch, well I have two pre-weinered schnitzels quietly desiccating in the back of the fridge, so I guess that’s it. Have to use them before they are tough enough to add straps and use as emergency flip flops.

.

I will glue them together with Brie and bacon, Cordon Bleucon… and cook them off in the oven.

Spent last night programming my new cellphone, setting the date, etc. Now that may seem rather mundane, but never-the-less a challenge when you are somewhat technology illiterate and the instructions are in Portuguese. It is the most update tech that I have, I believe that my new phone can do things that I never dreamed of. If it can make good coffee in the morning and serve it in bed, I’ll marry the damned thing.

This is a black box

I see the pro-Russian rebels have surrendered the ‘black boxes’ from MH17.

But the pictures showed orange thingies…

Why are black boxes orange?

There is so much in life to think about.

And this…

Is neither black nor a box, although it does have a small box attached.

I see my recent posts have 9, 10 or 11 ‘Likes’. I am convinced this fall off is because I have not included sex… no rectums, no arseholes, no vaginas…

Moving right along.

Sunny day again, not hot, not cool.  The praça is full of kids, I haven’t seen them, but the air is blue with the language of boys flying their kites, and the swings are squeaking. That’s enough evidence.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with a photo of a friend of mine. Alan lives in the Pantanal.

Sunbathing on the beach by the campsite

Alan is about three metres long, he is a Black Paraguayan Cayman, quite friendly, accepts hugs. No, really, if you’re careful you can hug him.

Off for my Nap-fu practice

Later.

 

Staff Training

Remember my encounter with mouse poo a week or so ago?

I decided on some intensive Staff Training.

This is a mouse!

Using the latest in plastic teaching aids. Eventually we’ll progress to furry grey things, then perhaps a ‘live fire’ exercise, probably with a mock-up first. Like my cadets, don’t want to scare the poor things first time. Oh the trauma.

I have had a ball today, Shopping here, shopping there, I shopped almost until I dropped.

New mouse, hence the availability of old black one for training aid. Little wheely thingy doesn’t wheelie thing. Well, it wheels, but it doesn’t thing. Have to look into that. Maybe I need to do another reboot.

I didn’t pay the rent. It’s Monday, remember? The money machine has forgotten how to money.

Flopped flip flops

On Wednesday, last, my odd pair of flip flops flopped and I bought a new pair. I wore them to town today.

But they gave me a further four months of service, so I can’t complain.

I bought a new pepper mill, I have one but it is full of black pepper corns. I needed one for white pepper corns.

The highlight of the day was a new cellphone (mobile).

I had a look at the offerings in one shop, too expensive, all smart phones. Not interested, in my last port of call, as I walked away from the cashier, I spied a cellphone stand; doesn’t hurt to have a browse.

I found one for R$129, an Alcatel… never heard of it before. Neither has google.

Found it! No I didn’t. They don’t have a model with qwerty keyboard listed

It’s a Onetouch, not a 3000m Coralline as it says on the packet. These things are just to fool the oldies… Fooled!

This is my model

Keeping up with the Joneses.

It has a camera, it has radio and it makes telephone calls, that’s all I wanted. It does netty things and stuff, but I’m not interested, I have my ‘puter at home.

Now I have to buy an SD card for it so the camera, etc works. Why can’t they supply everything necessary?

Any way, I am back in contact with the world.

Now I’m off to figure out why the wheelie thingy doesn’t thing.

Later.

 

 

 

Today is Football!

So far today I jave made coffee,  sneered savagely at the dishes and I have fed Clorinha. There, I think that’ll do it for the day; exhausted already.

Yesterday, I did get constructive. I moved one lot of parsley into an old paint tin full of fresh compost… pooo! I wanted to free up the vaguely ornamental square plastic pot that the parsley was in. I have one more to move, but no paint tin for more pooo!

Comes in economical One Gallon cans

At risk of tarnishing my reputation, I did some dishes last night while waiting for my huge burger pattie to grill. Dollops of ketchup and bread ‘n butter. I was ravenous after work and I wanted something quick.

I was really miffed last night. They advertised a film for after the news. It looked like a good film. When the news finished the same old bullshit soap opera stared.

I flipped off the TV switch and went to bed.

Sausage meat and mincemeat steak-like thingies for lunch. Nothing fancy and has to be quick, football at 1pm. Germany vs France and beer, followed by Brazil vs Colombia and more beer.  Can’t watch football without beer, it amounts to cruelty.

The feline vacuum in action at the last BBQ

There should be a BBQ as well. Clorinha will be pleased, she waits under the serving table for scraps.

Shes not silly.

Four of my last five cats were good mousers. One, da Meow, was a ratter. We have plenty in the filthy creek next to the botequim. Daily, da Meow, pranched across the botequim veranda with a huge dead rat; some bigger then him. When da Meow was on the street, the small dogs in the area shook with fear, least he make a mistake.

Clorinha on the other hand needs to go to Rodent College for some lessons. Last night I found a mouse dropping on my coffee table. I let Clorinha sniff it, to see if I could instil the idea. She just looked up at me with a “Why have you got mouse poo between your fingers” look.

She could at least earn her keep. Is that too much to ask?

Before I go…

Happy 4th July

to my esteemed American readers and visitors.

Later, much later.

 

Ankle-osaurus

 

No, not an ankylosaurus!

I have been attacked by an ankle-osuarus while peeing, while making coffee, while opening the front door, while sitting here at the computer and while walking anywhere in the house.

Clorinha is in a particularly frisky mood this morning.

Must have been the influence of the Battle of the Mouse in the early hours. Then I woke to find her perched up on top of the old TV. No idea how she got there, but signs that she is growing up. Next step will be out the bedroom window to explore the heights of the garage.

I didn’t get round to posting yesterday. Clorinha and I were ‘Belly Up’ (was to be the title of this post, until the ankle-bitter bit) most of the day.

Belly Up!

No, you don’t get to see my photo, belly up!

At the moment Clorinha is playing fly-Catcher in the Rye Kitchen. She’s not being very successful; pesky flies.

After heavy rain Monday and Tuesday, we were promised lots of rain on Wednesday; we got lots of cloud. We were promised rain again yesterday; we got partial cloud. We were promised rain again today; we have a lovely sunny morning. Honestly, I don’t know who tells bigger lies, weather forecasters or politicians…

It’s Good Friday!

Why is it called ‘good’?

Wasn’t such a hot day for Jesus.

I don’t believe in the resurrection. There’s no proof that it really happened. It was not written about until 200+ years afterward from anecdotes; and that reminds me of the game Chinese Whispers; how stories change in the retelling. But, but… the Turin Shroud… the fabric has been dated about 16th century, although Christians won’t adhere to that.

Easter is all about MONEY!

Nothing more, nothing less.

For me it is less, because I lose so many classes.

But I am not so churlish.

Happy Easter!

For those believers.

And, remember, your kids are eating pagan fertility symbols.

 

 

 

1am

Yes, it’s 1am…

*Yawn*

Clorinha has just savaged her first mouse.

I finally changed the one that was causing me grief, and I dangled the old one from my wine shelf with its tail enticingly close to the floor.

Enjoy the result, while I go back to bed.

Bloody Moon

I have waited all my life to see the bloody moon.

Blood Moon

And what happens, we get a cold front and the sky is totally clouded over.

My mouse is driving me nuts. I need a new one, but when I am near a mouse shop, I forget. It’s a wheel problem, I scroll up to see more test and the text goes down, so I scroll down and the text still goes down.

I have done the dishes. I mention this because it is a rare feat.

Lunch is almost ready, see I have been a busy boy. I haven’t posted yet, but that will come in due course. I have made a curry mince, I just have to cook the rice.

I see that two major newspapers have won the Pulitzer Prize. Guess why? The reports on the Nasty Secrets Agency and Snowden’s whistleblowing. Seems like the only person who doesn’t like this is Obama, he’s still miffed about that.

The Nasty Secrets Agency has denied any knowledge of the Heartbreak security leak. I call bullshit!

That load of arseholes couldn’t tell the truth if they wanted to; and when they have tried you can see the bullshit dribbling from the corners of their mouths.

So far, they have lied to the public, they have lied to congress, the have lied to the president… and they expect us to believe them now. What a joke?

You can guarantee they knew about it, you can guarantee they exploited it, and you can guarantee they didn’t want anyone to find it.

Later.

Caesus Fanaticus

Caesus Fanaticus

I think that is a wonderful phrase… for a cheese fanatic. Unfortunately it’s not original and already taken by another tweeter.

I am a caesus fanaticus, I think I must have been a mouse somewhere in a past lifetime.

It’s amazing how some weeks just go so fast, while others seem so slow.

I have noticed a pattern, it coincides with my newly adopted habit of ‘beefless’ weeks; the first and third full week of the month.

The beefy weeks fly by, whereas the beefless ones do not.

I am, therefore, firmly convinced that time is controlled by food rather than some space/time continuum. Not so sure that The Time Lord Dr Who would agree, but then he’s merely a scientist; what would he know.

I have discovered a remedy. Actually, I found it on another blog, Concerning the matter of my downward spiralling blogs hits. Mix&MatchMeme did it actually. I have thereby awarded myself this…

There, WordPress won’t do it, so I have. I tried to claim the award twice, because some of my blogs have been ignored for more than two years.

The headlines astound me. Some actor from The Waltons has died; and much more important, some idiot ate 69 hotdogs.

The media is really failing us, when they consider such things as ‘headline’ news. More like headcase news. Surely there must have been something of more importance. The mainstream media have become experts at turning a blind eye to matters that concern people, matters of national importance. Like jailing Wall Streeters and bankers… LOL Like that’ll ever happen.

69 hotdogs… I just can’t get such important news out of my head. I suppose it is of concern, starving children in Africa who would give their right arm to smell just one hotdog; and this fool scoffs 69 of the bloody things in the midst of a global food shortage. Awesome!

Getting on to work time…

Must toddle off.

Later.

Erections… do normal people get them?

Apparently, they do. The Japanese get a new government after each one.

And, the USA is due to have one in November. Nice to see that Romney’s blown it. Now if Obama would do the same, America might get Ron Paul.

The title of this post came from a weird thought as I read a tweet, “China’s #economy continues to grow, but at a slower pace:” from @i2economy …and I thought, yes, I understand that problem now that I am approaching 61, “‘I’ still grow, but at a slower pace.”

Which, in turn, left me wondering if normal people have these naughty thoughts?

Or is it some kind of syndrome/dementia that begins about 60?

Well, that was meant to be the opening tomfoolery of Saturday’s post that never got to be. Now here is is… Monday.

Damn, it is so cold here in Rio. Since yesterday we have been subjected to Antarctic polar air following a cold front.

My new mouse has decided on a career shift. It doesn’t want to be a mouse anymore. It is having worse ‘left button’ problems than the mouse it replaced. Can’t trust anything made in China. I had problems with three consecutive battery chargers made in China. I do wish they’d get their shit together.

I failed again yesterday. No Sunday Travel Tales, it was so cold that I spent much of the day wrapped up in bed. You see, this is such cold weather and our houses in Rio aren’t built for cold weather, no fireplaces, no insulation and nobody has a heater. I am not the only person suffering, last night everyone in the bar had a jacket on; now that is unusual, because we are usually in shorts and T-shirts.

My lunch is still frozen. I took a chicken breast out of h freezer this morning and it is doing a pretty good imitation of ‘frozen’ at 4pm.

Must shiver along…